Dance In The Dark Of Night
by Kaatje7
Summary: Complete AU HPSS Slash Harry graduates and is about to run away,Snape is about to take a suicide potion.Life has not been easy for the two emotionally scarred wizards and with Voldy still at large Albus has a plan that will change everything.Romancedark
1. Inside The Silence

Dance In The Dark Of Night

Author: Kaatje7

Disclaimer: Non-original characters are the property of JK Rowling etc and no money is made from this little amusement. This story has nothing to do with the play of the same name, which at one point starred Alan Rickman in a lead role.

Pairings: HP/SS (others later on but telling now will spoil it, 1 more slash, 1 more het).

Rating: R (for some bed scenes but mostly for dark things)

Feedback: Yes, please, lots and lots. Author writes more quickly when praise is abundant.

**Chapter One - Inside The Silence**

Severus glanced into his cauldron; the liquid swirled and bubbled merrily. He dropped in the final ingredient and noticed, with unsurprised satisfaction, that it turned a deep iridescent purple colour. It was well past midnight, his favourite hour for potion brewing and other personal pursuits. The calm and stillness occurred at no other time of day, even the students prone to late night wandering where in bed by this hour. There was no better time for sensitive and private research.

He allowed the potion to simmer a little longer and then turned off the heat, it was perfect even if he said so himself. It was a pretty colour and it even tasted nice, what more could a man want from his creation. It was peaceful oblivion and merciful release, one single sip and everything would melt away with blistering speed and he knew of no antidote, he had named it 'Blissful Death'. He would bottle it first thing in the morning; he didn't want to leave it unattended while he dealt with the last of his duties.

Severus went through to his study and sat at his private desk, his potion book lay open at the correct page and he updated the notes on his most recent creation. Ever considerate of him, he thought, to leave behind instructions in case some other potions brewer might find his work useful after he had gone.

He sat back in his chair after he had finished writing and rubbed his eyes wearily, allowing the feeling to come upon him now that his work was done. He felt the weight of his existence upon him; nobody could call it a life. He was sick of being the Potions Master, sick of Hogwarts, sick of the Order and all the duties and most of all, sick of Harry bloody Potter.

There was no amount of sleep that could shift this kind of weariness; he felt like little more than a walking corpse, dead already for however many years it had been now; seven of them with Potter relentlessly taunting him, many more before that. His only consolation was that it was nearly all over, one more exam and Potter would be gone from his daily existence. He would still be a member of the Order, but Severus had a plan for avoiding those duties.

One more exam and it would all be over, the practical Potions exam had been left to last for the first time ever. No doubt part of Albus' ongoing plans to annoy him, he couldn't possibly let him be free of Potter before he was due to leave for good. Severus got up and crossed the room, slumped in the chair by the fire and reached for a smoke. Soon it would all be over, everything, all of it. Harry bloody Potter, all grown up and graduated from Hogwarts was only part of it. His specific duties were all discharged, somebody else could take on the rest.

At last, after all these years, Severus thought, Albus couldn't keep him at this school any longer, not this time, the Headmaster had run out of reasons at last. It was time for him to join his beloved Kin.

Harry looked up from his cauldron; Snape was still staring at him. Did that man ever give it a rest? He was almost finished the exam and would then be leaving in the morning a free man, whether his potion succeeded or not, yet Snape was still mercilessly trying to put him off. Someday, when nobody could deny that he was an adult and an equal, he would tell Snape exactly what he thought of him, maybe. He would wait till he was successful at something first, then he wouldn't be able to throw his failure back at him, would have no excuse to sneer at his words. _If you live_, the thought came into his head and he pushed it away as best as he could, there was no time for that, he couldn't allow defeatist thoughts to get a hold of him. The thought nagged on reminding him what a fantasy it all was, unless he did something soon he was doomed and he knew it.

Snape started to do a sweep of the room, the sort where he looked over shoulders with a disdainful expression and sent nerves flying. Harry knew he wouldn't be spared. Sure enough Snape was soon stood behind him, thinking of something nasty to say about his work, no doubt. He could feel him, he always could. Snape didn't say anything but continued to stand behind Harry. Any closer and they would be touching, Harry shivered inside at the thought. His spoon suddenly developed a mind of its own and flew out of his hand, splattering potion all over the table.

Damn that man! It would never happen if Snape didn't just STAND there like that. _Don't say anything; just go away_, Harry silently wished. Snape stayed, longer even than usual. Damn, what with the Death Eaters virtually standing in wait and this insufferable git, it was a wonder Harry had ever managed to remember anything. If there was one thing he wished for most, it was to never see Snape again. He didn't want him dead, no, that was tempting fate just a little too much. He would be quite happy if he just disappeared.

Of course, as Snape was a member of the Order there was little point in wishing for anything. As Harry was soon to be a full member of the Order himself and there was still a war to be fought, he might very well find himself encountering Snape on an alarmingly regular basis, if he didn't do something about it first, and he had every intention of doing something about it. He was done with the Order mapping out his life for him, all roads just seemed to lead to his death no matter how they tried to dress it up and conceal things from him. Of course his alternative plan had every chance of leading him to his death just as quickly but it at least seemed to make him feel like he was trying to do something about his fate.

Snape hadn't said anything about the spoon, which surprised Harry a little; it was unheard of for Snape not to take every opportunity that presented itself. He hadn't actually said anything at all, which was unheard of and very definitely worse. Eventually Snape moved away and Harry glanced up at his retreating back. Snape's cloak swished as he walked stiffly, almost like he was gliding. Harry could breathe at last, not long to go now. He repeated the words to himself like a mantra in his head. Not long to go now.

He chanced a glance at Ron and smiled across the room at his best friend.

"Potter!" The familiar voice rang out from near the front of the classroom making him jump. "May I remind you this is an exam!"

This was unbelievable, Snape had to be watching him every second to be able to catch him out that swiftly and he hadn't even turned around as far as Harry had noticed, he was still walking to the desk. His pronounced psychic abilities were supposed to allow him to heal through touch, but it was like he just knew somehow, like he was psychic in the Muggle sense. Harry shivered as much as he might have done had he just encountered a dementor. No Patronus could rid him of the nightmare of Snape it seemed. The passage of time would though, and a little planning, not to mention a bit of lying and secrecy. He would soon see if Snape could see everything.

Would he say anything to Snape before he 'left for the Dursleys'? Harry was undecided. He felt that he should want to tell Snape what he thought of him, before he left Hogwarts forever, but he couldn't really be bothered.

After all this time, Harry found that he just wanted to go. He doubted that any harsh words from Harry Potter, could wound Snape in any case. He turned to look at Snape and found him still walking away with his back turned as if he had eyes in the back of his head. Well, if his plans for tomorrow went well, Harry thought, he wouldn't have to worry about any of it any longer. He would be far away from the Dursleys, Snape, the Dark Lord, the Order and Hogwarts, far away from it all.

It was simple really, he would be getting off the train at King's Cross as normal, all he had to do was slip out onto the street, find a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere and let the Muggle world engulf him just as it had engulfed so many Muggles who were also running from something dark and terrible. Dressed in ill-fitting clothes and a bit too thin for his height, he would be just like hundreds of other young men his age, out on the streets of London, no one would even notice that he was at all different. They would never find him.

The exam finished and Severus watched them all file out silently as they were required to do after an exam, suddenly bursting into chatter as soon as they each passed over the threshold that was the door arch. Severus breathed out deeply. And so it ends, he thought; seven long years and his job was done, where the Potter boy was concerned anyway, seven long years. One spoilt, pampered, world famous brat not as big headed as he might have become. Yet again his life saved; well his chances were enhanced anyway. All done; finished with; he could relax now. But why didn't he feel more? The relief he had expected to wash over him was suspiciously absent now that it came to the moment. Potter wandered out with the rest of them and it was a terrible anticlimax.

Maybe he had lived like this for so long he couldn't feel any relief from its being over. Maybe it was because he wouldn't get the chance to stand beside Harry anymore, just feeling the warmth of his presence; barking some criticism or other so Harry would never guess how he sometimes felt when they were close, the only thing apart from Albus' hold over him that had played a part in keeping him in this world. Maybe it was because some part of him knew that Albus might never let him go.

Severus fingered the small crystal ball in his hand seeking emotion from it; he experienced relief, Potter's relief as he left. The ball was a new toy he had bought himself and he wasn't sure he liked it, he had only had it a couple of months and it gave him no comfort and little amusement. Severus tucked it away in his robes and swore not to touch it; he would leave it behind for use when encountering enemies; for use on official duties for the Order, not for spying on Potter and his friends like he had so childishly been doing. He sighed and gathered his things together; a cool dark place, that's where he was going. He could mark the exams in the morning when the castle had fallen into summer silence. And then, maybe then he could slip away.

If Albus managed to find some way of stopping him like he had so many times before, then the next time he would see Potter it would be war. He wondered how long it would take now that he was free of school and of an age. Next time Potter would stand as an adult and a member of the Order. He would know what it was all about, how impossible to defeat. How the defeat of the Dark Lord was only the beginning and not the end. Maybe he would use the Blissful Death sooner, rather than later, Severus thought, he had no wish to see the look in Harry's eyes once he knew the truth.

Severus traced the corridors back to his quarters and looked out of a window as noise attracted his attention. Certainly all the seventh years were making their way to the Quidditch pitch if not the whole school; laughing, shouting, one last impromptu game. Some of the teachers were joining them but he certainly wasn't going out there. Severus turned away and headed for the dungeons. He needed to make as much of the peace as he could.

Severus entered his chambers and approached the cupboard where he had stashed the purple potion; they all sat neatly in line, all clearly labelled 'Blissful Death'. Why had he made so much when all he needed was one phial? He took one of the little bottles up in his hand and played with it. What was he waiting for anyway? Was he going to sit around waiting for the Death Eaters to discover his treachery, as they surely must at some point, wait for them to come for him? He knew more than anybody what would happen if he failed to put an end to himself and it wasn't as if he was going to be sorely missed. It wasn't as if he had ever wanted to live this long anyway, he hadn't wanted to live since his brother had died. If Albus hadn't forced him to stay all those years ago, he wouldn't have done. The power of the Kin, within him still, made it so. Only someone as strong as Albus could have stopped him.

Severus took the phial with him to his chair by the fire. If he didn't have the exams to mark, he thought, he could drink it now. Excuses Severus, he thought, will you stop dreaming about it and just do it? Somebody else can mark the stupid exam papers; they'll be glad that it wasn't you. You have nobody, nobody sees you, Severus rationalised to himself, not since HE died. The least you can do is make sure that everything you know dies with you. He began turning the stopper in the top of the phial to loosen it. Even Albus might let him go this time, Severus thought, not quite believing it even as the words formed in his head.

Indeed it was not to be; Albus had probably even been waiting for him to try, allowing Severus to explore his intentions, but only so far. Albus could read most people quite well but, Severus recalled with a grim smile, he seemed to pride himself on setting his clocks by the ex Death Eater in his charge. As far as Severus knew he had only ever managed to keep one secret from the old man, and that was one that nobody would want to believe anyway.

A letter flew up out of the hearth and landed on Severus' lap. Severus sighed in irritation; it was from Albus Dumbledore, but he knew that before he looked at it. Even if he ignored it and drank the potion anyway, it would not have had a chance to work before Albus came out of the fire looking for him, even as quick as he tried to make it be. No doubt Albus would have a bloody antidote too even though Severus knew of none, and mysteriously, he would be carrying it with him, that was what had happened the last time. This one was faster acting but still he might make it.

The headmaster had invited him up for tea. And a chat, Severus thought, some task or other, some mission that he was required to complete for the Order. One hour of peace and now this! At least he wouldn't have to pretend to be a Death Eater for much longer, not the way the war was heading, that hardly made anything less dangerous. He was a dead man waiting to die; he knew that, he had hoped to be able to grab some kind of control over it. Some painless way out, he was done with pain.

Severus made his way up to the headmaster's quarters with the weight of the world's salvation hanging round his neck like a lead ball. He greeted the Headmaster with the required courtesy but didn't bother animating it in any way. He was offered tea AND cakes, this was bad he realised. Dumbledore's tired eyes looked up at him from his desk. Severus wasn't going to say anything about Albus' intrusion of his most recent attempt at freedom and Albus didn't say anything about it either, but their eyes met for a fraction of a second and all that they each saw there made the words unnecessary.

"Sugar?" Albus asked.

Oh shit, Severus thought, to be sweetened up with cakes and sweet tea, this had to be the worst mission ever. Severus let Albus hand over a cup of tea containing two sugars. He accepted graciously but with mounting suspicion.

"Please sit, dear Severus." The headmaster commanded and reached inside a drawer in his desk. He brought out a packet of smokes and offered them. Severus stared at the cigarettes as if they were his excruciating death sentence, Albus didn't normally allow smoking anywhere near him.

"Am I Professor Snape today or Severus of the Order of the Golden Dawn?" Severus asked thinking he knew the answer. He had worked as a professor for seventeen years, had been at the castle for over nineteen not including his time as a student, he was in his late thirties now. The majority of his adult life had been spent teaching at the school and fighting the darkness, but still, to this day, he remained 'the Death Eater who had got away with it'. Sometimes it seemed like too long, far too long. He reluctantly accepted a smoke and lit it with the tip of his wand, mindful of the fact that it might well be destined to be his last.

"I would like you to go on a little holiday," The headmaster said by way of a response to the question Severus had asked, Severus eyed him warily; this was no time for holidays of the usual kind and he knew that Albus knew it too.

Somebody else entered the office; Severus could almost feel him without his little crystal ball. His heart turned to lead in his stomach as the possibilities started to play through his head.

"Ah Mr. Potter, Harry." The headmaster greeted warmly. Severus didn't turn to look but got a glance of Harry's face as he sat down. From the appearance of the boy, he too knew the meaning of a tea party invitation.

Although he had told himself he wouldn't, Severus slipped a hand inside his robe and held the crystal ball; apprehension immediately flowed through it, Harry's apprehension magically resonating through the crystal.

"I think it is no longer wise for you to go to the Dursleys considering our current position and your age." Dumbledore stated. Harry's reaction was one of relief and puzzlement.

"Am I to stay here then?" Harry asked.

"No, I think it's a good idea for you to go somewhere else." Albus replied, "Hogwarts is not the place for you now."

Harry looked from the headmaster to Severus and back again. Severus could feel the apprehension and the suspicion building within the young man.

"Maybe I could go to the Burrow with Ron?" Harry asked in hope but not really believing it possible.

The headmaster shook his head, "I don't think you should stay with anybody you know, not until the Dark Lord is defeated anyway, it would put them in danger."

Panic, terror, anxiety, Severus felt them and watched them on Harry's face.

"Where do you want me to go?" Harry asked, in bewilderment allowing the volume of his voice to rise.

"It doesn't really matter; I don't even want you to tell me." Dumbledore said trying to sound kind in an offhand way.

Severus wondered what any of this had to do with him.

_Pain, abandonment, confusion_, the feelings continued to come to him through the crystal ball, Severus felt like a dirty old pervert looking into Harry's emotions and thoughts at this sensitive moment, he didn't stop.

'_He knows what I was going to do'_. They were Harry's thoughts that Severus heard echo in his brain but they might as well have been his own.

"But what if something happens?" Harry asked desperately. '_Will you not let me go_?' the thought continued in Harry and Severus' thoughts.

"I have a spell I will show you, you will live like a Muggle tourist, any sign of trouble and the spell will send a message to all the members of the Order, they will come to you. Be sure you know what a real emergency is and only use the spell then."

"A Muggle tourist?" Harry said laughing grimly, "I'll stand out a mile trying to be a tourist on my own, they always go away as families, at least the Dursleys always do. Not that I ever went with them."

Dumbledore gave the slightest of nods in the Professor's direction and it was as if he had turned Severus to stone as the realisation rattled about in his brain, 'I would like you to go on a little holiday', indeed.

The full horror of the idea was hardly registering for Severus when he received the wave of anger and fear from the crystal ball, Harry's anger and fear as he too realised the implications of Dumbledore's latest scheme.

Harry stood up, "No, no, you cannot be serious. Can I not just go back to the Dursleys? If they get killed not that many people will mind, why him?" Harry asked not even bothering to keep the disgust from his voice.

There was desperation coming to the surface for Harry, Severus hardly needed any magical assistance to read that.

"I can assure you, the idea is not filling me with joy either." Severus said in his best Professor voice, trying to hide a strange feeling of hurt that was building in his chest.

A jolt of fear shot up through Severus' hand and through his body as Harry heard his voice; there were waves ofhate flowing through the younger man. Severus looked at Harry and found him looking up at him, his face mirroring the feelings that were shooting out of the ball. Severus tried to let go of it, but his hand wouldn't move. He felt his own heart throbbing in his chest.

"Severus is in almost as much danger as you are." The headmaster pointed out.

"I am sure they would like to get a hold of you too." Harry replied.

"Best not let them have three birds with one stone?" Dumbledore replied grimly.

"Won't we all be safer apart?" Harry continued, running out of options.

"You cannot go alone Harry, you said so yourself, and I would have to spare two more people to act as escorts, it cannot be done. Severus must go and you must go with him, there is nothing to be done I am afraid."

"Like some strange father and son thing?"

Harry gave Severus a look that showed that he didn't think HE ought to get an escort at all. They stared at each other for barely a moment and then suddenly Harry's anger was gone.

"Fine. I'll do it. Whatever." Harry said eventually, seeming to be giving up. It came so suddenly that Severus couldn't believe in it.

Harry left after a while. They had discussed possible locations that might be suitable, but had stayed well clear of compromising Dumbledore's position by agreeing on anything; anything other than the fact that Harry was leaving with the others in the morning. The spell had been taught to Harry and Severus was already familiar with it.

After Harry was gone Severus made to stand up.

"There is something else I need to discuss with you Severus, something I am sure you will come to understand will ensure that this plan goes without a hitch." Albus announced before he had a chance to leave, "If I could just have a moment more of your time?"

Severus was Severus of the Golden Dawn and Harry was Harry of the Golden Dawn. Severus couldn't play teacher when they were going to have no company but each other, for an undetermined amount of time. Damn Dumbledore. He had about twelve hours to prepare and his stupid honour wouldn't let him go away now, he would have to do this task and he had no idea for how long. Severus had to begin to treat Harry as an equal now; there was no way they would survive what was to come if he couldn't. He had thought enough about ending the animosity between them and had so far done nothing about it. Now was the time. Severus could see that he had been a fool to treat Harry as if he was a mirror of his father; backing down publicly was quite a task though.

It didn't help either, that in the past year, Severus' feelings for the boy had taken quite a different turn altogether, what was he supposed to do with that? Harry thought of their being together as some disastrous father and son catastrophe, he had said so.

Maybe they could do it, if they got away from the Wizarding world and Harry listened to him, without any of the other well-meaning people the boy had come to see as family, lending their opinions. It would help that he wouldn't have so much of an audience, so many vultures waiting to pounce, if he should manage to shift the mask from his face and show Harry what he had so carefully hidden.

Dinnertime came and the atmosphere in the hall was one of charged excitement. Severus noted, however, that Harry seemed to share his own lack of enthusiasm for it. Without looking up he placed a hand on his crystal ball and focused on images rather than emotions. He got a scene of Harry's friends chatting around him with Harry in the middle seemingly lost in thought. He decided to take the ball with them; it might be useful for anticipating attack. He stayed tuned in and saw Harry shaking his head apologetically and getting up to leave. He counted ten seconds and then looked up; sure enough Harry had left the hall.

Severus couldn't shake the feeling of hate he had felt coming from Harry, they couldn't set off on such an important journey like this, Severus thought, with feelings like that. He wished that he had known Albus' plans a few weeks ago so he could have prepared, or found a way out of it. Of course Albus would have known exactly what he would have done with more notice.

He stood up too and resolved to find Harry, he didn't know what he was going to say but he had to say something to the young man to dispel the strength of negative feeling towards him.

Severus let himself into the Gryffindor common room expecting to find Harry there. There was nothing but a crackling fire and half packed trunks. He looked around the room; he had never been in when it was student free, had rarely been inside the Gryffindor accommodation at all. He searched among the trunks for Harry's, first his emotions and now his possessions; he couldn't believe curiosity could get him like this. He found it easily, or rather he found Harry's Muggle rucksack similar to the one he had been forced to pack. It lay open inside his trunk and perched on top was a Pensieve, what on earth was a student doing with a Pensieve? Of course, Harry was no ordinary student, Severus had to remind himself.

He could come back any minute, he thought, they won't be back for hours a little voice inside his head told him. It might help him mend the rift, Severus tried to reason with himself; the Pensieve seemed to beckon him, he stepped towards it.

Severus was sucked into the Pensieve where he received a potted history of life with the Dursleys, all the bits that Harry couldn't bear to keep in his head, and was then unceremoniously spat back out again. He crumpled to the floor, for most of it he had been inside Harry; he had to fight to stop himself retching on the rug. He felt breathless and sick to the stomach; he had to get out of the common room. He thought that seeing Harry's life would make things easier but it made things a whole lot worse.

Severus almost ran all the way down to the safety of the cold dark dungeon. When he got there he slumped gratefully in his big leather armchair by the fire. He felt the warmth sooth his skin. He felt like he had been beaten to a pulp and the despondency and despair threatened to wash him away. These were the people Harry begged to be with instead of him. He washed, cooked, cleaned got shoved in a cupboard and they watched him constantly. Not a breath out of place went unpunished. Severus remembered Harry's fear when he was told of the arrangements, the look he had given him. Had he really been that good at his job, that bad? Severus had been positively looking forward to his trip compared to how he felt now.

The Dursleys had indulged in the odd slap to begin with, as if to test the waters, and then it had progressed. Sirius' death had seen Harry's concentration falter and his duties were neglected over the following summer, which was swiftly dealt with; his chest ached at the memory of broken ribs. Numerous instances, one after the other, all played back to him for his enjoyment, damn his curiosity. Harry had had several breaks to the arms before he had even got anywhere near a broom or a bludger.

Severus felt a flash of anger for Albus; he had placed Harry with those useless and abusive Muggles when Severus himself had been more than willing to take on the job. Yes, Albus made a great show of trusting Severus, but it had always been different when it came to the more pleasant aspects of looking after Potter. Until now, Severus thought grimly remembering all that he and Albus had discussed that day, just at the moment when the rift was too deep and ragged to mend.

When he felt recovered enough Severus walked back up to the ground floor, he turned round again though, when he heard the sound of hundreds of students leaving the hall. He had left it too late; he would never catch Harry alone now. He would have to wait till they were alone together on the mission before he could start trying to draw some kind of truce.

Harry had gone back up to Dumbledore's quarters; the Headmaster joined him there a discrete five minutes later.

"I have the rest of your things," Dumbledore wasted no time explaining, he didn't want to keep Harry long.

Harry nodded and Dumbledore passed him several parcels.

"Put these in your trunk, take the train to King's Cross, you will meet Severus and a member of the Order on the platform for the next train to Edinburgh. Your trunk will be taken to a safe location and you will take with you everything I have given you as a parcel and whatever you pack in your rucksack."

"Right." Harry said now appearing determined to live up to what was expected of him and take it all in.

"Severus will have purchased tickets for a location of his choice. You will board the train and go wherever your wills take you. You may take certain magical items but take care to only use them well out of sight. And only minor wand usage, anything much more than wand light and the magic may act as a beacon to the Death Eaters."

"Yes." Harry agreed. He didn't want to think about the danger; he wanted to focus on the mission, his first mission for the Order, and then he would know the best way to run away from it and when.

"There is strength in unity but that does not mean lining yourself up for the enemy to knock you down like dominoes."

"And don't tell anybody what I'm doing, not Ron or Hermione or anyone?" Harry hadn't been about to anyway.

"Yes, Harry, perhaps especially your friends." Albus confirmed.

Harry sighed, "Camping with Snape? I don't suppose they would believe me anyway."

"Camping Harry?"

"Well, er that looks like an erm." Harry mumbled pointing to one of the parcels.

"Yes, it is indeed an 'erm'." The headmaster replied hoping that Harry wouldn't make any other slip ups. "You'll need to alter your appearance a little too. At the station before you meet Severus, change in the toilets and take this potion, wait an hour before leaving." He added handing Harry a potion and a bandana.

"What does it do?" Harry said looking a bit alarmed.

Dumbledore only smiled at him and would not offer him anything further.

The next morning Severus stood on the main stairs watching all the students leave for the train. Spirits were high and Harry put on a good show of leaving for the Dursleys with his friends. Severus had failed to catch Harry alone; his nearest attempt had been thwarted by a final call to Dumbledore's office. Why had it felt like a final goodbye? He tried to push the thought from his mind. No, he would be back here being persuaded to teach brats again before he knew it. That's right Severus, he thought; keep saying it till you believe it. Severus continued to watch Harry, if he noticed him doing so he gave no indication. Maybe he was very purposely not seeking any eye contact, making sure his friends didn't suspect anything.

Severus sighed, upon reflection he thought that he should have taken the Blissful Death while he had had the chance. Now it was too late. Albus had forced upon him another reason to live and his honour, once again, wouldn't let him go. He was stuck with Potter and that was that. At least with a magic tent, they wouldn't be in the same predicament a Muggle would be in when camping, they would be able to ignore each other reasonably well. At least till they grew more accustomed to the situation anyway, Severus thought, remembering Albus' instructions to him that morning to try and be friends with Harry.

As soon as Harry and the other students were gone Severus quickly returned to his dungeon. He was to take Harry's invisibility cloak and fly under it on an old school broom to London. He then had to meet up with their contact and transform into his new identity. He must not be in the toilets at the same time as Harry; he had to get there before. At least the process wouldn't be hampered with the need to make lengthy goodbyes to his fellow teachers; nobody was to know of his departure.

Severus had assumed he would be leaving the castle someday, cold as stone and contained within a box, now it looked like he was to seek his death elsewhere, he didn't really believe he would return. They had to defeat the Dark Lord, Harry was destined to be the one to either do or die, but they were forbidden from seeking their enemy out. It seemed like a lost cause to him, Albus was getting really desperate if he was sending Harry away.

Severus had packed a case of useful potions in the rucksack first, within which was a hidden compartment concealing several phials of 'Blissful Death'. He put in a few personal items in next and then packed up all the things Dumbledore had given him. In his cloak he held the potion Dumbledore wanted him to take, his crystal ball and his wand. He heaved the bulging rucksack onto his back, wrapped Harry's invisibility cloak around himself and left without another look back, somewhere out on the Quidditch pitch, 'someone' had left an old school broom lying about.

The journey down on the train was a hard one for Harry though his friends hardly noticed the difference. They knew a bit about the Dursleys, not the whole truth, but enough to excuse Harry's nerves at the thought of returning to them. They themselves were cheerful, happy to be going back to their families, pretending as if it were just another summer.

"I can't believe we'll never be going back." Hermione said to Ron. "I'll be starting my training come September."

"You'll have no trouble, at least you don't have to find a job yet," Ron added, "I suppose my Dad working at the Ministry will have its advantages for once, I'll probably end up joining him."

"I'll come up to the Burrow after a few weeks OK." Hermione confirmed with Ron.

Ron smiled at her knowingly and then turned to Harry, "We'll come and rescue you from the Dursleys like we usually do, OK Harry?"

"Yes, just make sure you bring something to knock the house down with." Harry responded without turning away from the window, it was easier to lie to them that way. You cannot rescue me from anything anymore, he thought darkly.

"Oh, yea," Ron laughed, "In case they put bars up again."

"They can't do that anymore," Hermione said in her know it all voice, "Harry's eighteen now, he's free of their guardianship."

"That's me, free as a bird." Harry muttered to himself.


	2. Side By Side

**Chapter Two - Side By Side**

Harry got off the train with his friends and dragged all his things onto a trolley.

"So where are they?" Ron asked as they met up with his mother on the Muggle side of the train station.

"They'll be here eventually." Harry replied knowing that Ron meant his loving relatives.

"Oh yea, they never do turn up on time do they."

"No." Harry replied, this year he was depending on it.

"Sure you're going to be all right dear?" Mrs Weasley asked him with more motherly concern than anybody else had ever shown him.

"I'll be fine, they always turn up eventually." Harry replied feeling like seven kinds of shit for lying to the Weasleys.

"I'll see you in a few weeks." Ron smiled at him broadly and left with his mother and sister for home.

"I'm making my own way home." Hermione said proudly.

"It's not a matter of age, it's dangerous." Harry warned.

"It's only another train journey and it'll be leaving in a few minutes. Oh, it WILL be leaving in a few minutes, I had better dash." Hermione said looking suddenly panicked.

Harry watched her go up an adjacent platform and climb onto the train. He waited till it pulled away. He had hoped that his farewells would have been more meaningful but his friends hadn't known that they were to be parted for more than a few weeks, probably forever since he had no intention of going with Snape.

Harry made sure that everybody else who had got off their train was gone, and then made his way to the nearest rest room, dragging his trunk along with him on the station trolley. He locked himself in the disabled cubicle since it was the only one large enough for what he had to do.

First of all Harry took the potion Dumbledore had given him, partly because he wanted to do it before he lost any nerve and also because he didn't know if that was the reason he had to wait an hour or not. It didn't taste too bad. Whatever he did he would need to change his appearance and that was why he had appeared to go along with Dumbledore's plan. Now he had some supplies to help him survive on the street and he would hopefully be unrecognisable. It wouldn't do Snape any harm to stand around on the platform waiting for him for a few hours and he was certain that Snape would be pleased at his disappearance, although maybe not the connected consequences.

Next he took all the clothes out of the bag that was designated for his immediate use; it was in addition to the extra clothes packed into the rucksack. He found a long leather trench coat, a heavy grey wool trench coat, a strange hippy patchwork jacket, a long linen v-neck shirt and some leather trousers. It was clear why the bag had been so heavy when he also found the boots he had been given to wear, they were like walking boots only they also had a lot of buckles on them. Harry did not really appreciate Dumbledore's sense of humour over his new identity, he was almost glad that Snape didn't possess one because he had had quite enough of this mission already. Thinking of how Dumbledore might have dressed Snape almost made him want to turn up, or at least to sneak a look without being seen.

Harry took off his clothes and put on the new ones then chanced a look in the mirror; the potion hadn't made him feel any different. His hair was growing and getting wavy, clumps of it were wrapped in coloured strings wound into an alternating pattern making braids; they had little beads on the end. He broke off watching his hair getting longer to reach for the burgundy cotton bandana. After his hair seemed to have stopped growing he wrapped the bandana round his head and tied it at the back. It effectively covered his scar, which he assumed had been the Headmaster's intention. He now had the beginnings of a goatee on his chin too.

He slumped down on the floor, the whole process hadn't taken anywhere near an hour. He had plenty of time now to do a runner, he thought; slip out into the anonymity of the Muggle world. He didn't move though, he had told Hermione it was dangerous, was he about to ignore that and run off? Though he doubted anybody would recognise him in time to stop him now. He could be out on the streets in minutes; the streets might be a lot safer than any other option. Surely safer than anywhere Snape could take him, were the boxes under the bridges and in the alleyways. He could just walk out onto the street and keep walking till he was too tired to walk any further.

He could just disappear, Harry thought, still he didn't move. He could disappear but he would be on his own with no direction or purpose. He would be leaving the rest of the wizarding world to whatever fate would be available to them if he didn't do his duty. Harry thought about Snape, he was being sent away too, would Snape have to go on his own when he didn't turn up? Certainly he would be even less likely to blend in as a solitary tourist and Dumbledore had said that he was in just as much danger, perhaps more so when the Death Eaters realised his treachery.

Snape wasn't just his chaperone, he was supposed to be Snape's and Dumbledore was expecting him to do it. Dumbledore cared what happened to Snape and Harry owed the man too much to refuse. Damn it, he thought kicking the waste paper bin with some force. He could be sure that he would get the vision of Snape's death to haunt him too if he ignored Dumbledore's instructions and did nothing to prevent it.

Harry stared at himself in the mirror and attempted to force himself not to care about Snape or anything else, he tried to force himself to leave the rest room and walk out onto the street. He tried to force himself to leave everything and everyone he knew and step out into an unfamiliar world completely alone. He could not move, when he thought of how alone he would be if he disappeared, a wave of uncontrollable misery washed over him and he wept. He slid down onto the floor of the toilet cubicle wondering if Snape really could be better than nothing. Somehow he knew that he would have to be.

In the end Harry waited till the hour was passed and then stepped out into the station, he walked slowly away from the rest room towards the departure boards, looking to either side of him for anything or anybody he might recognise, friend or foe or Snape. There was nothing, nobody, he was still half thinking of bolting; he could see the main exit of the station and the daylight of the street beyond.

Harry certainly wasn't rushing towards his fate although he couldn't hope that Snape would get bored of waiting for him and leave him at the station, making the final choice for him. He dragged his rucksack and trunk onto the trolley, the coats folded up on top. He scanned the boards looking for the next train to Edinburgh. When he found it and double-checked, he headed for platform one as per instructions. Still no sign of Snape, Harry's boots made clinking noises on the stone floor as if they had bits of metal on the soles, but they were comfortable at least. He felt hot in his peculiar jacket, was it the heat of a humid summer day, or was it the panic that was flowing through him. A whole summer with Snape, he must be completely mad; logic told him that he would rather be a homeless junkie but logic wasn't in control of his feet. His heart was in charge and he was too scared to be alone, so here he was walking through the station looking for Snape.

He stood at the platform and looked up the length of the train, which was standing in for loading. He suddenly saw him, Snape and another man about halfway up the platform. At least he thought he did. Halfway up was a tall man standing by a brick pillar, facing the train. Another smaller man stood beside him. There was a rucksack similar to the one Harry had, sitting on the ground between them. The taller man was wearing a long trench coat and had long hair tied back in a ponytail. He wore blacked out shades, a haughty expression and was smoking a cigarette. Harry started walking towards them really hoping that this wasn't it; as he got closer he saw that it was. He was a few yards away when Snape turned, swishing his inky black trenchcoat the same way he was fond of swishing his cloak, and faced him.

Harry came to an abrupt stop, his feet wouldn't move any further, suddenly it all seemed ten times more real but somehow unreal too. Snape approached him with some irritation in his expression, Harry jumped back in fright. Snape came to stand two feet in front of him. Harry had to wonder how Snape could still be dressed mostly in black and yet look so different. Harry couldn't even describe it to himself, he was Snape but so different, the same way he himself was different.

"It is not unusual, I understand, for young men such as yourself to be enticed away from this place by men such as myself, with the offer of certain prohibited substances as a lure." Snape said with the usual edge to his voice only with a bit less volume than Harry was accustomed to.

Harry remained frozen to the spot, he knew he must be staring but he couldn't get his head together. Snape's boots were large and had many buckles too.

"Close your mouth, Potter, and hold out your hand." Snape commanded.

Harry snapped his mouth shut, he hadn't realised what it had been doing in his shock, "This is ridiculous." He announced in defiance but held out his hand anyway.

"People disappear from this station every day Potter, lured away in their innocence." Snape said menacingly, he reached out and pressed a small plastic bag containing three white tablets into his palm, "There'll be more where that came from if you come with me." He added with a sneer. "Be sure that I will not use you too roughly and you will be paid for your services."

Harry responded with some success, guiltily secreting the tablets in the pocket of his patchwork jacket as quickly as he could.

Snape turned to the member of the Order who had been standing quietly beside them and they interacted with some kind of rock dude handshake thing, Harry became aware that his mouth might have flapped open again. The man from the Order left with Harry's trunk leaving them with only the two rucksacks and their other Muggle things.

"Come, let us go." Snape snapped as he made off back towards the departure boards not looking behind him to see whether Harry followed or not.

Harry picked up his rucksack and hauled it onto his shoulders, hooking the coats through the straps so he wouldn't have to carry them. Snape did the same except for the fact that he was wearing the leather one and didn't seem to have anything in patchwork. Harry rather thought he looked the part of prospective rent boy, as he hurried to keep up with Snape feeling overwhelmed and not just a little bit nauseous at his whole predicament.

Severus didn't dare touch the crystal ball as he led the way over to the train that continued all the way up to Inverness. He was certain it would give him electric shocks if he did. Now, the act stops, he decided with himself. He had hated having to frighten Harry like that, after all he had seen in the Pensieve but Dumbledore had insisted on the scenario. At least Harry was still following him across the station and hadn't tried to run away, yet. If only Harry had known that he had been frightened by his appearance too, Dumbledore had known what he had been doing when he had designed Harry's changes and Snape cursed him for it.

He reached up to his hair and pulled out the annoying band that was keeping it tight against his skull, he didn't see that it had a vital part to play. With a shake it was as unruly as ever and a lot longer than it had been before the potion. They boarded the train and stashed their rucksacks in the compartments above their seats; Severus preferred not to let them far from his sight. The old woman who was seated in one of the chairs that would be facing them glowered at Severus before they had even taken their seats. He had known that a train journey with Muggles would be hell and not the best way to start his new life with Harry bloody Potter.

"These seats are reserved you know!" She snapped gesturing to the seats in front of her and continuing to glower.

Yes, and I reserved them, you stupid ancient Muggle, Severus thought, and I had to pay full adult fare too. Severus resisted replying and instead glowered back but it didn't seem to have the same effect on her as it did on his students. You will be treated like you are not worthy of respect, Dumbledore had told him, dressed like that. But these leather coats cost more than everything else put together, he had argued; even so, had been the Headmaster's insightful reply. They were not to attract friendship on their journey; if they could keep people at a distance they stood a much greater chance of detecting an enemy attack. So far it seemed that their dress code was going to be effective. Dumbledore had said that his muggle advisors had provided clothes that were a bit 'goth' with a hint of 'emo', whatever that meant. All Severus knew was that Harry was wearing a jacket very similar to one his brother had owned before they became Kin.

Severus squeezed into his seat only to find the woman's shopping bag taking up half his legroom; he looked to Harry who had managed to take his seat too. They were in a position in which he could say very little to him and he hoped that Harry realised this and kept to strictly Muggle like topics.

He had to stop calling him Harry, Severus realised; there wasn't much point in their disguises otherwise. They hadn't yet worked out an alternative though; unable to summon Harry's attention Severus let him be for a while, he seemed to be daydreaming in his own little world anyhow.

Eventually the train pulled out of the station. Severus reached into an inside pocket in his coat and pulled out two paperbacks he had acquired immediately prior to their rendez-vu. He had bent them about a bit and placed a bookmark in each approximately a third of the way through. He put one on the table in front of Harry.

"Your book." He said in what he hoped was a more congenial tone than the one Harry was used to from him.

The members of the Order designated to kidnap the Dursleys in the event of them trying to take Harry, had had a very easy afternoon, Severus had been told on his arrival at the station. The silly Muggles hadn't even left the house till late in the afternoon. When they did all finally leave in their car they had been followed by the Order to a very nice Indian restaurant somewhere in Guildford. They had never had any intention of picking up Harry nor being there should he return to the house. Maybe they had hoped that some lowlife would drag him off, at least somebody would be happy with this arrangement.

Severus glanced at Harry; he was staring at the cover of the book. He had tried to get something that Harry might actually read, but it was difficult, when they were so far from their own world, to find something appropriate. He himself had a so-called horror book; he doubted whether it could unnerve him. He tried to lead the way and opened his book at the first page. It was hard to have any kind of concentration, however, even for a frivolous work of fiction, when he felt so trapped. He could swear that he didn't have more than an inch of space to move in, in any direction; he was used to being alone and untouched.

Harry sat so still, Severus noticed, it was almost as if he was holding his breath most of the time. He turned the book over and read the back eventually. Severus kept his hands off the crystal ball, it was unfair on Harry and there was nothing he could do about what he saw there anyway.

There was some loud shouting coming from the farthest end of the carriage as they neared Peterborough and Severus tried not to be alarmed when three men in football shirts and kilts, obviously drunk, came up the carriage waving a Scottish flag and singing raucously. As they passed where Severus and Harry sat one of them lurched drunkenly into Harry and knocked him into his shoulder. Severus nearly hissed in fury at the men as Harry flinched away from him again.

"Next time we fly." Severus said to Harry hoping he would at least appreciate the pun.

"Sorry." Harry said in reply suddenly burying his head in his book. He opened it at the bookmark Severus had placed in there. He hoped that he saw the message he had left him on the bookmark, 'now we are friends', he couldn't tell from Harry's expression at all.

It was a long way to Inverness and they were heading into late evening. Eventually Harry curled up in his chair facing away from Severus and appeared to be trying to get some sleep. Severus looked at the woman opposite him constantly willing her to get off at the next station. His lack of communication with Harry had done little to improve her regard for him. She might have said something, he imagined, had she not had almost as much disdain for Harry too.

They passed through Edinburgh as Severus was starting to feel tired too, he fought to stay awake, forcing himself to read his book; he had to keep guard over Harry. The train still linked them directly with King's Cross and they had no way of knowing who else was on it. An announcement repeated where refreshments could be obtained but since they could not be separated for even a few minutes it was very little help.

Harry woke and sat back up in his chair as they passed through Aberdeen, he seemed un-refreshed from his efforts, stiff and sore. He glanced at Severus nervously a few times before speaking.

"Are we nearly there yet?" He asked.

"We've just passed through Aberdeen, not too long now." Severus answered. He turned to look at the darkness outside; Harry hadn't even tried to pretend to be his friend for the purpose of the mission, Severus didn't hold out a lot of hope of him ever taking the offer seriously.

They got off the train in Inverness and stood on the platform to arrange their luggage for a long walk. The woman who had irritated Severus so much made a point of knocking into Harry as she bustled past. He made no reaction; he didn't even look as if he was holding back his annoyance. He only looked weary, exhausted and despondent. Without a word he hauled the rucksack onto his back and waited for Severus to show the way.

"We must find a place to rest for the night." Severus said as they walked through the station. All the shops within the station had closed down for the night and there was nowhere he could even get them a scrap of chocolate and a drink. He had some food in his pack but he would need a stove for that and they really needed to get out of the city.

The night air had more of a bite to it than it would have done in London; it was cleaner and fresher than it would have been too. They started walking through the streets of the city, Severus had no idea where he was going but presumed that it was a small enough city to not pose much problem when escaping it. They seemed to walk for hours before the streets of housing gave way to fields. It couldn't have been that long, it was just fatigue. Harry followed silently behind him, no complaints but no conversation either. He had been a fool to think that they could achieve some kind of truce, he himself had been fulfilling a purpose with his teaching methods; Harry had been living it for real. He was as likely to forgive the Dursleys.

Severus found a field far enough away from anything else and walked to the far corner of it. Severus lit his wand and found a flat portion of grass. They both took off their rucksacks and Harry loosened the bundle that was the tent.

Harry couldn't really see someone like Snape erecting a tent so he assumed the duty, he really wanted to get some sleep sooner rather than later. Snape sat on the grass and started searching through his things; Harry tried not to let him irritate him.

The tent was a simple enough affair, a small ridge tent that looked only big enough to fit two people side by side from the outside. He knew about enchanted tents though, inside would be a room at least the size of the common room if not a whole suite. Harry used the pegs and ropes to secure it in position on the ground. Snape was putting together a Muggle gas camping stove, probably just for show Harry thought. Snape had removed the shades at the station but it just made him look more Snapey. Now in the dark with only a wand for light, well you really couldn't get any scarier than that.

"I'm going to take a look inside." Harry said, Severus didn't respond, he was too busy swearing at a box of matches, for some reason not just using his wand.

Harry climbed inside the tent only to find that it didn't open out into a magically created hotel room inside. It was a real Muggle tent barely big enough for two bodies to lie side by side. Harry thought of what Snape was going to do when he saw their sleeping arrangements; he was more than horrified himself. He thought that they could just about live together in a nice big room. They could just exist; they wouldn't need to interact when they weren't out in public. This was just beyond belief, what had Dumbledore been thinking about.

Harry pulled both the rucksacks inside and pushed them to the back. He loosened off the sleeping bags that he had previously assumed were for show and laid them out on the bedrolls. They would actually have to sleep with only a centimetre of foam between them and the ground; Snape was going to be livid.

Harry was going through the tent things when he came across a till receipt for a Muggle store. Could things possibly get any more hideous? Reluctantly Harry crawled back out of the tent.

Harry found that Snape was heating open Muggle food tins on the burner, Harry was so hungry and grateful he was getting anything, he didn't care what it was. Snape didn't look too pleased, verging on annoyed. Harry started to feel sick and wondered if he would be able to eat after all.

"How are our living quarters?" Snape asked looking up from the cooking.

"Cosy." Harry replied his voice wavering.

"Where did Albus get all this stuff?" Snape said viewing their rather humble supper with disdain.

"Argos, I believe." Harry replied.

"Argos Filch?" Severus queried in disbelief.

"Nope, Argos Extra," Harry squeaked nervously, "Must be another Argos."

"Hmm, Extra? Never heard of him." Snape said trying to stir the food in the tin as it heated up.

Harry sat on the ground hugging his knees trying to calm the nausea so he could eat. If he didn't take what Snape was preparing now he didn't know when he would get anything else.

"We'll have to think of another name for you, try to think of something you would like." Snape commanded.

Having been 'Harry', for better of worse, going on nineteen years, Harry was at a bit of a loss. The only other name he could think of was his father's, which was also his middle name and far too obvious. Besides, Snape would probably do his nut having to call him James.

"Do you want me to choose, how about Alex?" Snape offered.

Harry was surprised to find that he couldn't find fault with the name, "OK, Alex then. What about you?"

Snape frowned and thought.

"Richard." Harry said as it popped into his head. Snape glowered at him and he shrank into himself automatically.

"We need only use these names in front of other people we cannot avoid, when we are alone together you will call me Severus and I will call you Harry, you are not a student any longer but a member of the Order." Severus commanded holding one of the cans out to him complete with spoon.

Harry took the food; it seemed to be some kind of non-descript broth but was, however, better than anything he could have hoped for had he been away from Severus. Severus! That was weird, Harry thought.

They finished their food in silence then Severus collected their things together, careful to be leaving nothing outside the tent.

"Get some sleep Harry." Severus said gesturing to the tent, "We have to move on in the morning, why don't you choose your room now."

Harry climbed inside and waited for Severus to join him and the tirade to begin. However when Severus followed him he only gave the faintest flicker of an expression that could have been perceived as annoyance. Severus shuffled into his sleeping bag fully clothed and turned his back to Harry.

"At least lie down," Severus said shuffling, "You need the rest."

Harry did as he was told, reflecting that this was still actually larger than some of the places he had been expected to sleep in the past. He was surprised how easily he started to feel drowsy considering his bizarre situation. Harry was soon asleep.


	3. Shadows Of The Past

**Chapter Three - Shadows Of The Past**

When Harry woke the next morning Severus was already outside the tent with the little gas stove burning again. He had opened the last two cans of food that he'd had in his rucksack, and if they wanted anything else to eat that day, they would have to start shopping. Severus watched Harry out of the corner of his eye as he timidly shuffled out of the tent and onto the ground sheet he had laid out as their living space.

Severus wondered how long Harry was going to keep up this expressionless submission. Even when he had been trying his best, or his worst depending on how you looked at it, with Potter he had always managed to come back with some sort of backchat.

The defeated look in Harry's eyes worried Severus greatly; he was in no shape to fight anything. If the Dark Lord didn't think the Dursleys were a worthy target, he was going back to finish them off for sure. Severus moved his arm towards a spoon he had placed on the plastic ground sheet. Harry jumped as though he thought that Severus might strike him. He needed Harry's confidence, but it looked as if it was going to take a lot of time that they might not have.

"We have to get moving," Severus said, trying to make conversation. "We need to get some distance between us and our last known location."

"Hmm." Harry replied, now eating the food Severus had passed to him.

"We are friends, for the security of the mission we need to appear that close." Severus added.

"Right." Harry said, not lifting his head from the ground.

After breakfast, Severus tried to help Harry pack up the tent but the boy seemed to prefer to be left alone. He had packed the crystal ball away in his rucksack for the same reason he had blocked his sensing all those years ago. He had no wish to feel Harry's hate now, in his head over and over again.

They walked to the nearest village, with Harry trailing behind no matter how many times Severus tried to let him catch up. They entered a supermarket and Severus left the rucksacks with Harry while he went round picking up their groceries. When he returned, Harry hadn't moved an inch. They continued up through the town and out onto the open road again. Severus didn't really know where they were headed; they just needed to cover some distance. Severus glanced at Harry feeling more and more anxious at his withdrawn despondency.

"You could at least try, for the sake of the mission." Severus accused as Harry continued to drag himself along without a word. "We're supposed to appear to be friends and you look as if you're being kidnapped."

"Maybe I am." Harry muttered mostly to himself.

"I can't help what has gone before." Severus said, meaning the Dursleys. "But I won't hurt you."

"I never said that you would." Harry snapped going for the defensive position.

"I can see that you are thinking it."

"I'm not bothered by you anymore SNAPE." Harry continued.

"What can I do to make this better?" Severus snapped. "Tell me."

"Take me home." Harry stated.

"You know that I can't, this mission is of supreme importance. You really need to grasp that. Anything else apart from that."

"Leave me alone," said Harry, trying to stride up ahead while struggling against the load of his rucksack. Suddenly his foot slipped off the kerbstone and he fell to the ground as a sharp pain coursed through his ankle.

Severus came to his side and took Harry's arm but he shook it off violently.

"Don't touch me, I don't want anybody to touch me." He said hysterically, seemingly on the verge of a breakdown.

"We should be friends." Severus tried to offer calmly. He wanted to comfort Harry but had no way of doing so. He wanted him to stop hating him for just a second so he could show just how much regard he actually held for him.

Harry sat at the side of the road, rubbing his ankle and turned resolutely away from Severus.

"Friends for the good of the bloody mission, yes! Famous Harry Potter gets to wander round the country like a vagrant, no sorry, 'tourist'. Before getting blown to pieces by whoever wants him dead this year, as opposed to the usual drill where he gets to study for a future that will never happen first, then nearly gets blown to pieces. Friends with you? What the hell would be the point?" Harry spat out.

This was the most Severus had heard him say since they left London. "Appear to be friends." Severus amended feeling the crushing in his heart that didn't seem to want to go away.

Harry pulled himself to his feet and started off down the road again. Severus followed, watching Harry limp on his twisted ankle but stubbornly refuse to stop or slow down. Severus left him alone after his outburst. It was quite clear that saying anything further might make matters worse; he could only hope that time would have the opposite effect.

Harry woke sometime in the middle of the night; it was starting to get light outside but Severus was still sound asleep. His ankle was throbbing, they had stopped and set up camp eventually but Severus had made him walk for miles. They were in a place that wasn't separated into fields by fences. The livestock wandered freely separated by the occasional cattle grid on the road, the gradient of the hills and pebbly streams. It was the kind of place where you realized what silence actually was.

They had pitched the tent far away from the road, which was actually a single width of muddy gravel, at the foot of a relatively small hill. Harry could hear the faint trickling of water over small stone somewhere nearby but the sheep were silent. He raised himself up on an elbow and peered down at Severus in his sleep.

He had never had a moment to himself when he lived at the Dursleys, and when he was at school there were always lessons, homework or Quidditch practice. Any extra time was easily filled with friends or foe. However, since leaving London, suddenly there was nothing. He had the book Snape had given him on the train, he wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean yet. He had a large rucksack to haul immeasurable distances and he had Snape himself . . .no, Severus, he corrected himself.

Although he didn't really have Snape either, since he wouldn't argue properly. The fight had gone out of the man. He never thought he would miss it. Well, he didn't MISS it as such, but he found it very un-nerving that it had gone.

Severus lay on his side with one hand beneath his cheek; Harry could hear him quietly breathing. He wasn't frightened of him when he was asleep; he had always been terrified of Mr. Dursley even when he had appeared to be un-conscious. If Mr Dursley had woken and found Harry watching him while he slept he would have taken it as an invitation. He reached out now and touched Severus' hair, took some and twisted it round his fingers, soft and shiny, magically longer like his own. No silly braids and beads in his though. Harry hadn't known that something so beautiful could be so badly misrepresented; but then, nobody had ever held it in their hands as he did now he imagined. Right at that moment, eight weeks of summer didn't seem too long, but he knew come morning it would seem like a lifetime.

Severus woke later than he had ever done in his life but Harry was still soundly asleep beside him. Neither of them was used to the open air or the long hours of physical exertion. As a man who owned his own broomstick and had various other methods of magical travel at his wand tip, he had never had to walk anywhere of any great distance.

He reached into the tent and pulled his rucksack out. He took out the stove and put it on the ground sheet ready for breakfast. He reached inside for the two cans and his hand fell on what anybody else would have thought was a small letter opener. He fumbled around until he could feel them both and pulled them out.

As he took the little miniature swords out of the bag they grew to full size, serpents twisted round the hilt on both. They were brothers, Bichun Kin swords. He held one by the hilt and placed the other on his lap. They were the only things left to remind him of his blood family, apart from the money, but he didn't care about the money; it was blood money.

They had been warriors once, he and his brother. As he held the sword the serpents came alive and wound round his wrist, holding the blade in his grasp. It was a long sword, shaped rather like a Japanese katana, or so he had been told. It was just as sharp, just as deadly even without a Kin Bond, if by chance you got close enough to use it like a blade; unlikely to happen in the Wizarding world.

The serpents lay still now, un-shimmering, dark and un-bonded. In this state the sword would channel spells no more strongly than his wand and had only limited combat potential. The other lay on his lap, unclaimed for more than eighteen years.

Harry moved on the edge of sleep and Severus quickly put the swords away, there was no point in letting Harry see them. He shuffled out of the tent in his usual manner, but this time, Severus could tell he was uncomfortable and presumed that it was his ankle that was causing him trouble. He started to prepare breakfast, the stirring helped calm him, almost like making potions deep in the dungeon used to do.

"I could rub in a salve for that." Severus offered making a point of not looking at Harry, something that seemed to unnerve him.

"It's fine," was Harry's stubborn answer.

"I could give it to you, to rub in yourself."

"But it wouldn't be as good. The healing isn't just in the salve but in the application." Harry finished for him.

Severus didn't force the matter; he just went back to his stirring. Harry regarded him, wondering if he could risk trying it. It wasn't as if Severus was going to hold him by the shoulders or touch his hair or hold his arms. It would be just gentle rubbing on his foot and the rest of him would be free to move. No need to panic at all. He realised he was psyching himself up for it. The logical part of his brain could tell that Snape's offer was a genuine one, and that Severus wasn't going to jump on him and hold him down, but he knew that the other part of him would want to bolt and run as soon as he felt even the slightest sensation of touch.

"Does it smell funny?" Harry asked.

"Not especially." Severus answered with his usual economy.

Harry took his sock off hoping that Severus wouldn't make him beg for changing his mind.

Severus must have been watching him, Harry realised, because he lay their breakfast aside and leant into the tent to get the salve out of his rucksack, from one of the side pockets.

"I thought I might need this sooner than later. You are so clumsy Potter. How you managed to twist your ankle in those boots I will never know."

Harry failed to respond to his bait, although he tensed a bit when Severus snapped at him still, he laid his leg out straight so his foot was as far away as possible.

Severus knelt on the ground sheet and lifted Harry's foot up onto his lap, he rubbed some of the salve in his hands to warm it and then began to gently smear it on the skin. He was using his healing skill to take some of the pain away as well as letting the salve absorb. Harry flinched a little; more at the shooting pain he had felt when it was first held than anything else. After some of the pain had been soothed away, Severus began to massage his foot, and after a while it began to feel pleasant.

Rather sooner than he thought, Severus stopped. "Does that feel better?" He asked.

"Yes, much," Harry had to admit.

"Good, because we have ten miles at least to walk today." Severus stated.

Harry looked instantly horrified but Severus had been waiting for it. When he was sure of Harry's attention he shook his head and went back to making the breakfast.

"We'll have to carry on tomorrow though, I'll bandage it for you." He offered.

Severus was a bit irritated that they would have to spend most of the day by the tent, and things had been strained enough between them when they had been walking. To his relief, Harry was reading the book he had given him though he often seemed to be re-reading the same page repeatedly. It didn't matter as long as he could occupy himself.

When Severus had been Harry's age he had already become a Death Eater. He tried not to think now of the humiliation at the hands of James Potter, at the age of sixteen, which had ultimately led to his departure from the security of school. When Harry had visited his Pensieve, he hadn't seen the half of it. Every student in the entire school had been there to watch, snivelling Snape, out on the Quidditch pitch. Snivellus Snape had run into the forbidden forest that night never to return. He had joined his elder brother and he had made Kin with him two years earlier than they had planned. He joined the Dark Lord a week after that and that was the beginning of Severus the warrior. The power they had wielded together had been awesome, their family had been so proud. Snape was no longer to be laughed at, to be hexed for amusement.

Now he could almost choke on the memory of it. They hadn't been that great, couldn't have been, if they had been as strong as they thought they were, then his brother and Kin wouldn't have died out on a mission against the Golden Dawn. Severus wouldn't have lost the power and gone storming into the castle as if he still had it, demanding vengeance. He wouldn't have ended up captive and at Albus' will for eighteen years.

He had spent most of his childhood at the school. All of his adulthood too, first of all as a strictly supervised apprentice, his 'reward' for being a spy, then as Potions and Psychic Healing Master when the Dark Lord appeared to be defeated. He had become a Professor at a time when most of the students at the school had been there the day James Potter and his friends had overcome him on the Quidditch pitch, only Albus's power ensured their silence. To make matters worse, Potter had gotten himself killed, making him a hero for evermore. He had needed to have control if he was to teach and thus he became scary Snape, the Death Eater professor who had escaped trial.

But when was it time to stop being scary Snape once it was begun? At first he had done it out of nerves, then out of habit, then because it seemed it was all anybody knew and expected of him, and he hardly remembered being anything else. With Harry Potter it became an obsession, and also, he told himself, the noble cause of not recklessly indulging him as everybody else did. Yes, Severus saved poor spoilt Potter, and he might as well have renamed himself a Dursley, since now he realised, Harry had never been spoilt at all.

Severus glanced at Harry. He was still reading, allowing Severus the opportunity to watch the boy without him noticing. He and his father were a world apart, he could see that now that Harry was older and since he had invaded that dreaded Pensieve of his; Harry reminded him more of himself. Especially, he thought with grim amusement, the long dark hair that hung about his face and the attention he was currently giving to his book.

In the following days they fell into a rhythm, getting up to breakfast early, walking half the day, sometimes getting a bus or a train when they chanced upon a small town with such services, shopping, then spending the afternoon or evening sitting outside the tent. They had moved roughly to the south as far as Harry could tell and had stopped the previous day near a mountain that Severus seemed to know the name of but which Harry had promptly forgotten. Harry was sure that Severus must be hiding a map somewhere but he was making sure he didn't see it, presumably just to keep the knowledge gap between them at the right distance. Harry was making slow progress on his book and Severus seemed to do very little but stare out across the scenery, his face giving nothing away. He didn't even seem bored; it was as if he merely existed. The book Harry was reading was the first part in a set of three, he wondered if Severus would ever let him have the other two. He was going to take his time just in case he didn't.

Severus was preparing breakfast again but instead of the usual can he appeared to have acquired a small pan. About time, Harry thought. He didn't mind strapping it to his own pack if it livened up meal times. He stirred constantly, but what was in there Harry didn't know, since he hadn't really been paying much attention. Finally Severus produced two jelly plastic coloured bowls and spooned the contents of the pan evenly into each. Harry saw that he had actually cooked something; he had made them some porridge.

Harry was almost happy, he loved porridge and he hadn't had any in a very long time. Still in the back of his mind was the fact that he had just had his most unacknowledged birthday in eight years; he tried to push the thoughts away. They were supposed to be in hiding after all.

"Come on eat up, you'll need a good breakfast for what I've got planned for today." Severus said cutting through the daydream Harry had fallen into.

Harry's heart sank. "Twenty miles today then?"

"No," Severus replied, "Bus and ferry."

By lunchtime they were getting off a ferry that docked in a town. A proper town as well, Harry thought, not the usual little villages with the corner shops they bought their food in. Harry was puzzled; they had been avoiding places like this for the entire journey so far. Not that there were that many places of note between Inverness and Dunoon, where they appeared to be now. It was overcast and altogether quite a dull day, which didn't do much for the decaying overtone of the place. There were rows and rows of guesthouses all showing vacancies; there was a promenade that looked ready to collapse. Severus really puzzled him sometimes.

Severus stopped Harry outside a pub called The Blue Bell Inn. It was just like any pub one might encounter anywhere in the country, Victorian and on a high street fitted between rows of shops.

"We're going in here?" Harry asked hardly able to believe it. "Why?" He asked, becoming suspicious. It didn't look like The Leaky Cauldron or any other wizard pub he had known.

"Lunch." Severus announced pushing the door open.

The pub wasn't at all full but there were one or two people sitting about here and there. They took a table next to an unlit coal fire and propped their rucksacks up against the mantle piece. There were menus on the table and Severus handed one to Harry.

Harry felt like he had entered some sort of surreal other world, he took the menu and scanned over the listings and shiny pictures not sure what to do next.

"Not the cheapest thing on the menu." Severus added.

Harry looked over the top of his menu and found Severus looking at one too.

He returned to the listings. Being required to choose something made him feel very nervous, it was as if Severus knew something the way he barked at him not to ask for the cheapest thing when his eyes had been drifting to the plate of chips. He only ever got a plate of chips with the Dursleys, usually only when they couldn't find anywhere else to put him and they didn't want him to spoil their dinner by sitting doing nothing. Harry would eat each chip in the knowledge that they resented having to buy them and let him have them. He now looked longingly at the large juicy steaks on the menu; it would be like being back at school again.

"Well I'm having a steak." Severus announced.

Harry looked up from his menu.

"Do you want the same?" Severus asked.

"Yes, please." Harry responded timidly.

Severus raised an eyebrow at Harry, which was a general look of disdain at his lack of decision-making capabilities, and went to the bar in a swish of black leather coat.

When Severus returned he was carrying two pint glasses full of beer and two single shots of malt whisky on a small tray. He placed a beer and a whisky in front of Harry.

"For the security of the mission we must engage in this ritual of social interaction, do exactly as I say." Severus said sternly, reaching inside his coat and pulling out a packet of cigarettes.

He pulled two cigarettes out of the packet and handed one to Harry, he lit the other one discretely with his wand and then looked expectantly at Harry.

Harry followed Severus' lead as best he could. Once he had the cigarette lit he took a drink of beer and then relaxed back into his chair for another long puff on the cigarette. He then took a sip of the whiskey.

By the time their meals arrived Harry was feeling very relaxed and just a little bit tipsy. He'd never done anything like this before. They ate in silence but it was more comfortable than usual.

Severus went back to the bar and got them some more drinks. Somewhere in the back of his mind Harry thought it was a bit irresponsible of them to both get drunk but it didn't manage to fight it's way through to the part of his brain that governed speech. Now that he had started, he found he had a bit of a thirst, for a while at least it drowned out the situation they were in and filled it with warm fuzzy feelings. He felt stuffed with good food and not in the least bit inclined to move.

"Come on," Severus said after an hour more, "We had better find ourselves somewhere to sleep."

Harry reluctantly dragged himself away; they would have to walk now, somewhere out of town to pitch the tent.

They left the pub and Severus had to reach out to grab Harry's arm in order to keep him on the path. He didn't flinch from the touch, yet he was still reasonably coherent, Severus was pleased that he had got him to drink just the right amount.

"Oh, I am so tired." Harry said as they walked along.

"Drunk."

"Am not." He protested almost playfully. "Your fault anyway."

After a few minutes they reached a street of large Victorian houses, Severus opened a garden gate and started up towards the front door. Harry hesitated.

"Come on," Severus called, "Let's hope business is bad enough so they won't mind how scruffy we look."

Harry warily followed wondering if this change in Severus was a permanent thing or a temporary lapse into humanity. He wasn't about to pass up the chance of a comfortable warm bed, however.

They entered the hallway through the open glass door; it had a sign taped to it saying 'vacancies'. They approached a desk where a plump middle-aged woman sat reading a magazine.

"We would like a room for the night." Severus spoke to her when she seemed to have failed to notice their arrival. The woman jumped as if it had been the fright of her life.

"Oh." The woman said dumbly.

"We are camping but it looks like rain." Severus continued having apparently prepared a speech to excuse their state and gain them entry. It was lost on the woman who stared with wonderment at Harry, then at Severus, then back again.

"Two beds, one room, a shower or bath." Severus prompted reining in his growing irritation.

Harry nearly laughed at the interaction but leaned against the wall instead.

"Oh," the woman said grimly shaking her head, "Hot water will be extra."

Severus sighed and Harry had to turn away to hide his smile.

"Two beds, one room, a hot bath for two, how much?" Severus asked of the woman as plainly and insistently as he could.

"Well," the woman said with a certain hint of disapproval, "A TWIN room will be £30 for the night, two fillings of the bath will be an extra £6, with £50 or credit card deposit returnable on departure."

"Right." Severus said reaching inside his coat and pulling out a VISA gold card.

"Breakfast will be at eight." The woman added.

The woman led them to a room on the second floor after the formalities had been dealt with. The bathroom was opposite the door to their room and they didn't pass or hear anybody else on their way.

The room was small; they might as well have got a double bed as the two singles were so close together that they couldn't have walked between them. Well, they were getting used to small and next to the tent this was massive. Harry flopped on the bed nearest the window having thrown his rucksack into a corner.

"Oooh, hot water will be extra!" Harry imitated giggling.

Severus turned away before he smiled, a force of habit.

"That means I could have a bath!" Harry continued.

"That was what I intended." Severus said, rolling his eyes at Harry but inwardly amused all the same. Harry smiled up at him and he froze. He hoped the boy didn't fall asleep and drown himself.

"Oh Sev, this is brilliant." Harry gushed.

"Do not call me…" Severus began to snap.

"Sevvie Snapey." Harry interrupted giggling again.

Severus ushered Harry to the bathroom and ran the water for him.

"I'm going to check on you every five minutes, just answer when I call your name." Severus said worried that he had got Harry just a little bit too drunk.

"Wouldn't it be funny though," Harry said through the closed bathroom door as he sank into the tub, "If, after all, I died taking a bath?"

"No," Severus answered glad that Harry couldn't see his face, "It wouldn't be very funny at all; you wouldn't have to explain it to Albus." Or live with the loss for the rest of your life, he added in his thoughts.

When Harry came out of the bathroom he was wearing only a towel round his waist and his washed hair was hanging down over his shoulders. Severus hadn't realised how thin he was under all the clothing he wore. Even before they had left the castle he had always worn a robe. He had scooped all his clothes up into his arms; it wasn't until a few seconds after he ran into Severus that he tried to make them cover something.

"All yours." Harry said walking straight off for their room.

Severus scrambled up from the floor resisting the temptation to watch Harry go.

When Severus returned from the bathroom he had pulled his clothes back on, the precious talisman once more bandaged round his waist within its little velvet pouch. Harry was still wrapped only in the towel, he was lying back on the bed and he had switched on the radio that sat on the bedside cabinet. Severus, whose hair was also hanging about his shoulders, twisted his face slightly at the noise.

"You'll get the pillow soggy." Severus warned Harry who sat up but not through concern for moisture.

"Old rock music." Harry said gesturing to the radio, "For the sake of the mission it is only right that we live up to that old crow's expectations regarding late night disturbance."

"Now you're interested in the mission?"

"Yes, it is of the utmost importance." Harry said quite seriously but the giggling that followed ruined it.

"Are you making fun of me Mr Potter?" Severus demanded trying to sound as stern as possible.

Harry stood up and looked up at Severus with his head tilted slightly to the side, "Why? What are you going to do about it?" he said smiling mischievously.

Severus froze again, what was the boy doing? He knew what it looked like. Harry turned and went to the window to close the curtains, seemingly giving up on Severus who had failed to respond because he had no idea what to say.

Severus stood behind him as he reached across for the right hand curtain. He raised a hand to touch Harry's shoulder but stopped just short. He held it there for a few seconds trying to decide what to do. 'What are you doing you idiot', Severus told himself sternly, 'like you would know what to do or have the nerve to continue even if he didn't smack you into tomorrow'. Harry reached for the other curtain, rather languidly Severus thought, before he mentally slapped himself. Harry started to turn and Severus quickly dropped his hand.

"I think we should go to bed now." Harry announced.

Severus lay on his own bed and Harry lay on his side, the music still playing.

"This track has allusions to the book you gave me, coincidence it should be playing." Harry announced.

"Really?" Severus said not hearing the song at all, "Are you enjoying the book?"

Harry nodded.

"You're not getting on with it very quickly." Severus commented.

"Just making it last, that's all." Harry said reaching to turn off the radio. "Hope this doesn't give me a hangover, I really want to demolish that breakfast."

They both climbed underneath the covers and Severus turned off the light.

The next morning they reluctantly packed up their things. Severus could tell that Harry did have a headache but he wasn't going to offer to take it away since Harry wasn't admitting to it. They were both quiet, for Severus' part it was because he had enjoyed the brief comfort very much. He watched Harry, he went about his packing without looking up or talking but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Severus smiled at the memory of the animated Harry he had so briefly and recently experienced. He had snuck another book into Harry's rucksack and he wondered when he would notice.

Harry sat in the breakfast room alone while Severus settled their bill. He could smell the bacon and the eggs and all the other things that were being lined up for his breakfast. The smell made the hunger he felt battle through the headache as if it was nothing.

There were some newspapers on a table next to the espresso machine. Harry went over and picked one up, it would be nice to reassure himself that there was still some kind of world out there. Sometimes when they hadn't seen a village for more than a day it felt like everything else had melted away.

He sat down with the paper and looked over the front page, none of it made any sense since he had been in his own world immediately prior to their trip. The woman they had seen the previous night shuffled over with their breakfast. He looked at the top of the paper and noticed the date, July 31st.

"Is this today's newspaper?" Harry asked the woman.

"Oh, no dear, sorry about that, that's yesterday's paper."

"Shit." Harry said, thinking of the possible implications.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." Harry said smiling but feeling all sorts of weird things inside. 'Get a grip', he thought, 'it's not real, and it's just for the mission.'

"Is your er erm…friend not joining you?"

Harry wondered what she was babbling on about, "My friend is at the desk waiting to pay the bill." Harry answered thinking that was what she wanted to know.

"Oh, oh." The woman said looking flustered and shuffling off.

Oh shit, Harry thought, Severus had remembered his birthday, or else it was a coincidence. Harry didn't believe in coincidences though. What was he to do, what if he thanked Severus for a birthday treat and he hadn't known and it was just a coincidence. He hadn't mentioned that it was a birthday treat, maybe he didn't want Harry to realise, and maybe it would be embarrassing for Severus for him to mention it. He couldn't just ignore it though. No, Dumbledore would have made sure Severus remembered, so he could make the gesture as part of the mission, that was most definitely the likeliest explanation. Harry looked up; Severus was about to join him at the table and he had made his decision.

"Thanks for all this, yesterday and this morning." Harry blurted out as Severus sat down and before he could lose his nerve.

"That's quite all right Potter."

"Richard," Harry began remembering the bogus name they had agreed on, "Friends do not call each other by their last names."

With a slight twitch of the mouth, which a good imagination could have made into a smile, Severus replied, "That's quite all right, Alex."


	4. How It Could Be

**Chapter Four - How It Could Be**

"You know, if we are to be proper tourists we really ought to do touristy things. So far we have just wandered around the countryside." Harry pointed out around midday.

"Isn't that what tourists do?" Severus asked as they walked along a roadside having already taken the ferry across the Firth Of Clyde to Gourock.

It was a bit of a joke to call it a ferry really, Harry thought, it was more like a large raft and he had been glad the weather was good. The one they had got from the other side of the Clyde at Helensburgh had been a real boat.

Gourock was where you could get a train to Glasgow if you really wanted to; Harry had noticed the rail timetable posted near to the ferry terminal. They didn't want to though; Severus was very against large cities for many reasons other than those related to their current troubles. So they were currently heading southeast along what was a fairly major road but still out in the countryside. They currently had a scary city on one side and un-walkable mountains on the other; Scotland was weird.

Before they had left Dunoon that morning Harry had noted that they were going to miss the Highland Games at the end of August and apparently the heather would be appearing on the hills about the same time, or so the poster in the newsagent window had told him. It would look nice, all the hills carpeted with the prettily coloured plant. He thought about mentioning this to Severus in the interests of touristy behaviour but decided against it. Maybe he would mention the heather later.

"Harry?" Severus called waving a hand in front of his face, "Do tourists go into mystical trances for no reason?"

"No, I was just thinking." Harry replied.

Severus raised an eyebrow at this but turned to face the way he was going and they kept on walking. They were spending more time walking side by side, except where the road was too narrow to do so. It was much more friendly, Severus had even bought them a bar of chocolate and a couple of bottles of coke for them to share as they walked. The look on Severus' face when he first tried the coke was worth the seven-year wait. The man had obviously never had a carbonated drink before.

They were heading for Kilmarnock where they would catch a train in a few days time.

"If we want to be more touristy we're going to have to enter more towns and stay there awhile, they'll have to be popular with people on holiday but not too busy." Harry offered.

Severus was pleased to see Harry finally getting more involved. "What does your Muggle experience have to offer regarding our route?" He asked, trying to draw Harry out a bit more.

"Well, the Lake District is popular." Harry began trying to remember all the places the Dursleys had visited while he had been dumped with the neighbours. "Carlisle has a castle, there's the Pennines and the highest market town in Britain, Alston. We could visit the roman wall, you have to walk along it and we're going to get quite good at that. Alnwick is further up, there's a castle there too; quite a lot of films are made up there when they need exterior shots of a castle."

"Is it a pleasant place?" Severus asked not remembering any happy holidays from amongst the Pensieve memories.

Harry shrugged, "I didn't go, sounds nice though." He didn't elaborate.

Severus wondered if Harry would ever broach the subject of what he had seen in the Pensieve. They kept on walking, heading for Lochwinnoch where they would buy some supplies before setting up camp just outside of town.

After a couple of weeks of travelling Severus' shoulders were aching and his feet were hurting long before they had completed their daily quota of walking. He could only assume that Harry fared worse, since he never complained of the slightest discomfort. The only indication he ever gave was in the precision he gave to arranging his rucksack properly before they set off each day. He always made sure the straps were tightened correctly and that there were no rumples of clothing beneath them that could produce pressure points on his skin.

Severus had thought about offering healing sessions each day to relieve each other's aches but he wasn't sure that he was brave enough for that, never mind how Harry would feel. So far in his life he had only received extensive healing when he had been too far gone to care. He understood Harry far better than the younger man might ever come to realise.

Harry trudged on, now matching Severus' pace with more ease than he had been able to do when they first started out. His shoulders were sore and his feet were raw with blisters but he had suffered pain before and at least this time there was an end in sight. Come September this would be over, Severus would return to the school and he would be doing something else. He didn't know what exactly but he wouldn't be wandering round Scotland pretending to be friends with their hated Potions and Psychic Healing Master, that was for sure.

Actually, it wasn't turning out to be as bad as he thought it was going to be. Severus really was very good at deception; it was easy to see why he had managed to fool the Death Eaters for so long. The birthday treat had been a nice touch and he found that despite the fact that he knew what was going on, he wanted to believe in it for real. With Severus being so solidly convincing it was easier for Harry to respond to it from instinct, as if they really were friends.

Harry turned to glance at Severus and allowed a smile of contentment to pass over his face as the sun warmed his brow, the heat enhanced by the burgundy bandana that covered his telltale scar. It really was quite a lovely day, he had heard that it always rained in Scotland but so far they had a lot of luck in that direction.

They had got as far south as the Southern Uplands of Dumfries and Galloway by the time Severus finally got round to approaching the subject of feet with Harry. They had pitched their tent a small way outside of Sanquhar with the intention of seeking supplies there in the morning. They had decided to go down into England to visit the Lake District so they needed to get near Dumfries, cut across to Langholm, and then down into Carlisle. From Carlisle they would indulge in a train day, they would take a train in the morning then set up camp without walking far, a chance to have a rest.

He needed the rest day now, Severus thought, it was this that was pushing him into finally mentioning healing to Harry. For all that he had tortured him during school time, Harry really hadn't been a bad student and Severus knew he was perfectly capable of providing the relief he now needed with a little instruction.

Harry now sat a few feet away from Severus using the can opener on what was to be their evening meal. It seemed to be letting him get the cans open easily enough, so he wouldn't be irritated already.

"I thought perhaps I could rub some salve on your feet for you later, it would help us keep up our pace." Severus said in what he hoped was a friendly enough voice although he was trying to be firm too.

"I have been keeping up with you." Harry replied looking back at Severus warily and on the defensive.

"I know, but I brought plenty salve and it would help."

"I am quite all right." Harry replied almost snapping at Severus.

Severus took a deep breath and readied himself to try again; even being nice to Harry seemed to arouse his suspicion. It made Severus very sad to see how untrusting the boy was.

"I was rather hoping that you might be able to return the favour." Severus said watching Harry's face to see what his reaction was. He didn't look very pleased at the idea.

"You are not worried that something disastrous might happen to them?" Harry said making reference to Severus' previous displays of disdain over his lack of ability.

Not for the first time Severus really wished he had never had to be scary Snape, it was proving quite hard to get away from.

"It's only a bit of foot ointment." Severus commented. It wasn't perhaps the best way of expressing his confidence.

"Fine, but after I've eaten, and I don't want mine done, I'm fine." Harry snapped in a reflection of how he must have come across, Severus thought.

After they had finished their dinner Severus shuffled into the tent, pealed his shoes and socks off carefully and then lay back on top of his sleeping bag. Harry was taking longer than usual, he noticed, despite the swarms of midges that had congregated outside. Severus sighed; it looked as if there never would be a good time to approach new things with Harry. He renewed his vow to kill the Dursleys personally.

Harry eventually came inside the tent carrying the Muggle camp light and zipping the tent behind him so that the insects couldn't get in. Severus had laid the salve jar open on the other sleeping bag and Harry kneeled at his feet.

Harry scooped up what he thought would be enough salve in his hands and warmed it by rubbing his palms together. He picked up one of Severus' feet and placed it on his lap. Copying Severus' method from what he remembered of lessons and the day Severus had rubbed his foot, Harry smeared the salve initially down Severus' sole then began massaging it in. He thought all the time of taking away pain and giving restoration to the tissues. He could feel the blisters as his hands moved; he could feel them smooth away as he kept working. Harry looked up and saw that Severus was still lying back and had closed his eyes. Harry felt better, it was almost as if Severus was asleep and he wasn't the Severus he was scared of any longer but the Severus who lay still while Harry played with his hair. When the foot felt smooth once more Harry swapped and started on the other one. Harry wondered if Severus really was asleep, he lay so still while he worked.

When Harry had finished he leant over to put the lid back on the salve. Severus still looked asleep and Harry sat watching him.

"Lie down and take off your shoes and socks, hand me the salve." Severus said quietly, the softest voice Harry had ever heard from him. Still he lay with his eyes closed.

Harry felt a shock of nerves but it dissipated as Severus lay patiently waiting for the salve to be placed in his outstretched hand. Hardly knowing that he had made the decision, Harry picked up the salve and gave it to Severus. His feet were in agony. The salve lay unclenched on Severus' palm as Harry loosened his boots and pealed the socks off. He lay down with his head next to Severus' feet and closed his eyes.

Harry could faintly feel the movement as Severus eventually sat up and lifted Harry's foot, when he applied the salve he tried his very best not to flinch away. He almost succeeded and Severus' gentle touch soon soothed his fear away, so that when he was finished with the one foot Harry willingly offered the other, lifting it up onto Severus' lap.

The next day Harry and Severus carried on in a southeasterly direction towards Dumfries. The weather was sunny and bright again and Harry found that there was no pain in his feet as they began their long daily walk. His shoulders were agony but there was no way he was letting Severus anywhere near those.

"Don't let your feet get into that state again." Severus spoke to Harry as they walked.

"Like you didn't!" Harry snapped back.

Severus cringed realising how accusatory he had seemed, "A few minutes a day with some salve should help us both, if you are willing to help." Severus amended.

"Fine." Harry responded.

"Would you like a bottle of coke?" Severus offered trying to patch things up.

Harry nodded, "Do you not want one too?" Harry asked and watched for Severus' reaction.

Severus twisted his face, "I think not."

Harry smiled, still finding amusement in Severus' disgust for something that wasn't his fault.

In the next few days the passed to the north of Dumfries and headed due east, through Lochmaben and towards Lockerbie where they had to negotiate the crossing of a large motorway. In the town itself, they came across a memorial that didn't date from the muggle world wars like the many others they had sat alongside, while they ate their lunch on a bench seat. The following day they reached Langholm and turned once more to the south. It would have been quicker and more obvious to follow the motorway southeast from Lockerbie but they didn't want to do anything too obvious.

They were nearing the English border now, the land was becoming flatter and they were only a few days at most from the much anticipated train day. Harry didn't mind so much, his feet were much improved by Severus' healing arrangement, since he never let Harry refuse his turn. The weather was still holding up but it was only a matter of time before they received their first soaking. Harry wasn't looking forward to that one bit. So far the temperature had fluctuated a bit and clouds had come and gone. Once or twice it had rained in the night but they were into August now, soon their luck would break and in Scotland, when it rained it really rained. They would be in England for a while now but since the Lake District had pretty much the same reputation, they were unlikely to be spared. They would have to break their magic ban to get dry; it would be the only way.

"Severus," Harry said trying to get Severus' attention since he had been staring ahead with his expression unreadable for a very long time, "Are we going to stop soon?"

Severus broke away from his thoughts, he hadn't realised that it was getting late.

"Can we stop now and make something to eat?" Harry asked.

"Yes, of course." Severus replied looking around for somewhere suitable. He pointed to a collection of trees, "If we go through there, we can pitch the tent on the other side and remain unseen from the road." He suggested.

They walked down the ditch to the fence and Severus climbed over without too much trouble. Harry was just a little bit shorter and worn out by their day's walking, however, and as he jumped down onto the ground his feet hit uneven ground and he lost his balance. Severus was right beside him and he grabbed Harry's arm as he stumbled into him, stopping him from falling.

"Sorry." Harry said looking at the ground, obviously feeling unnecessarily foolish but not leaping away from him as Severus had expected.

"Your centre of balance is severely affected when wearing that rucksack, it is hardly surprising." Severus tried to reassure Harry. He then let go of Harry's arm, which he realised, he was still holding.

After they had set up camp and had had their food Harry took out his book and Severus lay back looking at the sky.

"I was thinking that it might be to our advantage if we minimise the amount of time that we are both sleeping?" Severus suggested.

Harry closed his book, "How?" He asked, worried that this would mean starting the day feeling half dead as well as ending it that way.

"You could turn in early while I keep watch and then you can keep watch after lunch while I take a few hours."

"You can sleep during the day?" Harry asked amazed.

"Well, I used to have a cool dark place to hide, but I think so. Do you have any objections to the arrangement?"

"No." Harry replied, the only one he could think of was that he might not be able to watch the man sleep anymore, but he might get more time for that during a lunchtime nap anyway.

"Well, off to bed with you." Severus said gesturing towards the tent.

'Was he just trying to get rid of me?' Harry thought, wondering why he felt so offended.

Harry shuffled into the tent and started getting ready to turn in. He had just taken his shoes and socks off when Severus entered the tent also.

He sat cross-legged in front of Harry half way up the sleeping bag; he had the salve with him. Harry sat up and gave Severus his left foot. They had been doing this every night and he was actually beginning to enjoy the little ritual but Severus was much closer than usual. Harry tried to ignore his stupid nerves. When it was Harry's turn with the salve, Severus lay back and closed his eyes and Harry found his nerves disappeared again.

As soon as Harry was finished Severus went back outside and Harry was supposed to be lying down and getting to sleep. Harry turned on his side and where he would normally be facing Severus' back gently moving up and down as he breathed, all he saw was a flat sleeping bag. He turned the other way, trying to pretend that he was there after all; then he got irritated with himself. Ron would have such a laugh if he could see him now, Harry thought, 'how the hell did I get used to THIS?'

A couple of days later Harry and Severus approached Carlisle, it was their train day at last. They went straight to the train station not wanting to spend too much time in so large a town. Harry agreed readily, since it was a busy Saturday and he thought Severus might start to kill Muggles if they had to encounter any crowds. Besides, he had started to chill out a bit since they had been in the wilderness for a while and Harry didn't need reminding of what he was really like.

"I don't think we should go to the Lake District." Harry announced as they looked at the timetable board in the train station.

"And why is that?" Severus asked, he was standing close by looking at the times for trains going south.

"It would be a nice place to visit but it's getting a little late in the season and we may be lining ourselves up for a drenching." Harry replied.

"True," Severus surprisingly agreed, "Should we head east then?"

"Halfway by train? We could walk along the wall." Harry suggested.

"The wall?"

"Hadrian's Wall, it's a roman wall and, well, as a tourist you're meant to walk along it."

"Oh."

"There's a museum along the way."

"Really." Severus replied not looking the slightest bit impressed.

"Very touristy without being crowded." Harry added selling the idea to him.

"East it is then." Severus agreed placing a hand on Harry's shoulder in as friendly and brief a way as he could manage.

"Next train isn't for another hour and a half." Harry pointed out making sense of the timetable.

"Nearest supermarket gets our custom then." Severus said leading the way out of the station.

They got off the train at Haltwhistle and then followed the signposts away from the town and towards the wall. They needed to set up camp fairly nearby and rest otherwise there wasn't much point in having a train day.

Harry was feeling quite happy, they were heading east towards the rail line they had travelled north on, the summer break was nearly over and Severus would have to get back to school soon to prepare for the coming term. It was nearly over.

Snape might be a complete git if you're a student, but he always had his torture well planned out and they were heading in the right direction for a return to London. Looking at Severus now, it was hard to think of him as the same man. Harry could swear he hadn't had a snappy word out of him in days. He even thought he had caught the odd smile. Balanced against this was of course Severus' complete control of the money and consequently what could pass for his life. His life having become even more restricted since he left school. At least it would soon be over and he could find something or other to do until the Dark Lord came calling.

They managed to find a suitable place to pitch the tent and Harry sorted out their bedding arrangements while Severus got them something to eat, their usual routine.

Severus sat with his rucksack at his side and when Harry had finished eating he reached inside and pulled out a full size bottle of Jack Daniels and a packet of cigarettes.

"Having come so far I think we are due a little treat." Severus announced pulling the porridge bowls from his rucksack too.

"You're going to put it in those?" Harry asked.

"I did not realise you were so prim Mr. Potter," Severus responded in good humour, "Whatever we use we have to carry."

"But we can't both get drunk out in the open like this." Harry protested.

"Nice to see you developing a sense of self preservation." Severus teased. "It's your turn tonight, don't drink it all. I will have a couple a cigarettes and one bowl full."

Severus poured the liquor into the bowls and Harry took charge of lighting the cigarettes. Harry exchanged one of the cigarettes for his drink and took a nice big mouthful. He swallowed it and let the warmth flow down his body.

"So this is what you do in that dungeon all night?" Harry asked after his third bowlful.

"Yes." Severus responded noting how Harry was now slumped on the ground with his head on his rucksack, languishing. His eyes had softened and his smile came more easily.

"You sad git." Harry said laughing a little.

"Yes." Severus answered still watching Harry.

"So what's with all of this? Why are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Because you're nineteen, Harry. You deserve a little fun don't you?" Severus said, quite softly for him.

"Never thought of that." Harry said suddenly not smiling.

'No, you wouldn't' Severus thought to himself.

"Hmm, this rucksack is lumpy." Harry complained.

Severus himself was propped up against a tree with one of his coats to cushion his back, his legs outstretched. In a sudden wave of inspiration, or stupidity, he took Harry's woollen coat and folded it up on his lap.

"Come here." Severus said to Harry and when he looked up, gestured to the coat.

Severus was surprised but pleased when Harry took up the offer and shuffled to lie with his head effectively on Severus' lap. Severus hoped that Harry would remember lying like this come morning and also remember that he had been safe there, for all his fears. After all, they were going to be spending a very long time together and if fate was cruel enough, it may very well constitute the rest of their lives.


	5. The Keeper Of The Portals

Chapter Summary: The peace is shattered by Severus' revelations.

**Chapter Five - The Keeper Of The Portals**

The next morning Harry woke to find Severus awake but still in the tent.

"Don't move." Severus commanded as soon he noticed that Harry was awake.

Harry immediately sat up, wishing he hadn't but thinking only of possible danger. "What?"

"Define meaning of 'don't move'." Severus said shaking his head slightly continuing to attend to the stove that sat very close to Harry's feet and just inside the tent.

"More complete warnings more useful, 'please don't move Harry or you may end up with a cooked foot'." Harry replied almost snapping. His head felt like lead and Severus was looking at him.

"What?" Harry snapped at the man rubbing his forehead willing it to help.

"You have only to ask for healing." Severus replied, referring to his ability to remove headaches.

Harry remained resolutely silent and continued to watch Severus cooking up some porridge, he absolutely wasn't letting him touch his head. He could hear the rain hitting the fabric of the tent, which explained Severus' dangerous cooking practises. They ate their breakfast in silence but as soon as Severus had finished his he shuffled over to Harry. Harry was immediately apprehensive, knowing what Severus wanted to do. In the small tent there was nowhere to run, Severus had his exit blocked.

Harry had had pain taken away like this countless times, though not by Severus.

For Severus, the reason for Harry's reluctance hung heavy in the air between them. He wondered if Harry had been putting up a good pretence of friendship after all. Taking away a headache was a very simple matter involving the healer touching the head for only a few seconds; it wasn't worth any fuss at all.

Harry reluctantly tipped his head towards his chest slightly; he hoped this was enough of an invitation so that he didn't have to form words. He hoped that Severus would get it over with quickly and not take unnecessarily too long. He remembered the way this felt, the healer sliding their hands through his hair to contact with his scalp, the feeling of warmth as the energy was drawn between them. The idea of Severus doing this did make him want to back away, but strangely, he found he wanted him to do it too.

Harry found he was holding his breath as Severus raised his hands. At the initial touch he flinched from nerves, but then found as he felt Severus' hands slide into place and the warmth filled his skull that he had to fight not to lean into the feeling. Who would ever guess that the man could be so gentle? All his other experiences of healing had been abrupt and clinical by comparison. Even so, it was quickly over and Harry was left with a slight but pleasant fuzzy feeling in his brain as he looked up.

Severus was looking at him, "All better now?" he asked.

"Yes, thanks." Harry replied.

"Well, considering the weather I think I will take my afternoon nap now, if that's all right with you Potter?" Severus announced. It was hardly a question.

Severus retreated back into his sleeping bag and lay down before Harry had a chance to respond. Harry didn't mind Severus sleeping, unconsciousness improved him greatly, but it would have been nice, however, to just once be considered.

"Make sure you keep alert. Just because it's raining doesn't mean we can become too lax," Severus muttered from within his sleeping bag. "We are staying in one location longer than we should, the next time it rains we will just have to get wet."

Severus turned onto his side facing away from Harry and Harry reached for his book.

"Great." Harry muttered to himself, he didn't receive a response from his companion anyway.

If the end wasn't in sight, Harry thought that he would go out of his mind. Severus seemed to be getting more Snapey again, and Harry wished that he would just make up his mind to be horrible and stick to it.

Harry was really looking forward to a warm bed and having something to do. He had done nothing all summer but read and walk. Most disturbing was his behaviour towards Severus. He had heard that captives often developed feelings for their captors, but this was ridiculous. Harry wondered if everybody looked so harmless when they were asleep. So much more approachable, touchable, caressable, Harry thought sighing to himself. Harry pulled his hand back when he suddenly realised that it had been drifting towards Severus almost without him knowing. It was madness, he didn't even know if Severus was properly asleep yet.

The next day they moved on, now walking along the Roman Wall. The ground was much more hilly here and as they were following the wall they spent a considerable amount of energy climbing and descending. To stray from the wall would lead them into marshland, which, judging by the predicament of one Muggle couple they passed, would have left them knee deep in smelly mud. They walked side by side but Harry noted that Severus wore a deep frown reminiscent of the one he used for marking essays. It filled Harry with apprehension, as did the ominous looking rain clouds that passed by from time to time. Severus hadn't taken his turn to drink either, a bit strange for somebody who, the night before, had been making out that it had been his regular routine.

That evening, while they were sat round a small stick fire Severus had made, Severus produced the whiskey again.

"Want to finish this?" Severus asked.

"It's your turn." Harry made a point of mentioning.

Severus shrugged his shoulders, "Thought you might want to."

"Well I don't." Harry replied and watched with irritation as Severus put the bottle away, still not drinking it himself.

Severus sat cross-legged watching the flames dance in the fire. It surely could not be much longer before the Dark Lord began to make his move on Harry. As far as he knew the boy had not had any visions and although he was glad of it, it made him a bit nervous too. Surely the visions were the most logical way to try to get through to Harry, the Dark Lord could not know where he was. He looked up and observed Harry who seemed as tense as he was himself. He wished they could sit together, wished their relationship wasn't holding on by a thread. He dared not drink, afraid of what he might say or do in an unguarded moment that might put their fragile truce at risk. In Dunoon he hadn't been drunk, well, maybe just a little, it took more than that these days, but he had almost touched him. He wanted to get drunk and tell Harry everything but he couldn't. For the sake of their mission and their continuing safety he couldn't take any risks, he could not afford to loose control.

In another attempt to avoid major towns and cities Harry and Severus turned north and further up into Northumberland.

"So where are we going? Back to Inverness?" Harry asked as they joined a fairly major road out of Belsay and towards the town of Morpeth.

"Very good Potter, they will certainly not expect us to go all the way back up there." Severus answered.

"And then we can get the train all the way down to London." Harry added.

Severus was puzzled, "Why on earth would we want to do that?" he asked.

"It's only a week till the start of term." Harry said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why should that bother us Potter?"

Harry really couldn't be bothered with Severus getting all inexplicably Snapey again, as there were storm clouds on the horizon and they still had a good few miles to travel. They were in for a drenching. Harry's only comfort was that this would soon be over and he could get back to his normal life, whatever that was going to be, and Severus could go back to his dungeon.

"You have to get back to school don't you? You haven't even written any lesson plans yet."

"We're not going back." Severus stated rather tersely, "Don't tell me you thought that we were going back there for the beginning of term?"

"Terribly sorry, silly me." Harry snapped, starting to get very tired of Severus' games. He had really thought they had come along in the last few weeks, just a few lapses, but apparently he had been wrong. "You do have a job there you know."

"Danger does not end just because the term starts, Potter." Severus snapped back.

"I know that. Will you just stop this and talk to me like a normal person?"

"I wasn't aware that I wasn't." Severus answered.

"No," Harry said getting more annoyed, "You really do think your behaviour is acceptable don't you?"

"If anything, the danger is increased once the school is full of students again, what with the newly arrived first years as well."

"But we have to go back." Harry said beginning to think that Severus might actually be serious.

"You're not a student any more Potter, you do not have to go anywhere."

"Anywhere but nowhere." Harry muttered. "You do though, Potions and Psychic Healing Master."

"I was never going back, my time as a school master is over."

Harry stopped walking and stood in front of Severus glaring at him. "Over? Since when?"

"Not because of the mission if that's what you're thinking, I was not going to be there in any case." Severus continued.

"Why? How come nobody had heard of it? News like that doesn't remain secret."

"You wouldn't understand. Reasons and secrets can be kept very well with a little effort." Severus said shrugging his shoulders and attempting to walk on.

Harry could have exploded at the gesture, "I wouldn't understand?" He shouted, "And why the hell should that be? I'm supposed to be a member of the Order but I don't remember anybody asking me. I don't recall an initiation ceremony or a meeting where the confidence of the Order was given. I don't in fact remember anyone telling me anything much at all. All the talk of my joining the Order included promises of disclosure. Yet here I am on an apparently dangerous and important mission and I have been told precisely nothing as usual."

"There was no time for an initiation." Severus attempted to counter.

"There has been all the time in the world for you to tell me everything you know, weeks." Harry argued, getting more angry by the second.

Severus stared at Harry, seemingly conceding a point without a response, which only made Harry more annoyed. Harry glared at Severus till he was forced to say something.

"We can't go back, I am no longer a school master, you are no longer a student and it would be dangerous to do so. We must continue as we are. Why do you think Albus gave you three coats?" Severus said, maintaining his usual rock solid composure.

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "Continue as we are?" Harry spat, "We're living in a tent barely big enough to sneeze in, we're eating processed food out of cans. We're sleeping on the ground. What are we going to do when autumn comes?"

"I don't know." Severus said.

"Well you had better start telling me some of the things that you do know because this is the end of the road otherwise. You hear me? You tell me everything or that's it, I'm going."

Harry was pleased to see that this rattled Severus, he even thought he looked scared, he had obviously been ordered to stick with Harry at all costs.

"You don't know what you ask." Severus said his expression controlled again.

"Are you listening to me at all? I want to know everything and I want you to tell me right now. Got that?" Harry persevered.

Severus sighed and looked as if he was about to say something, then the look faded and only silence remained.

"I know, I'm destined to kill the Dark Lord, all I want to know is the rest, be a proper member of the Order, not little child Harry any longer."

"That's just the problem Harry." Severus began suddenly, "You're not destined to kill the Dark Lord at all."

Severus had Harry's attention, "Go on." Harry said.

"You are linked, one of you must kill the other. Either you kill him or he kills you. Fate really does not care which way round it is and the Dark Lord's followers now number in the hundreds."

"I've fought him before." Harry defended.

"A few followers in attendance on each occasion, not the kind of scale we might be talking about now."

"I am stronger now." Harry insisted.

"The Bond that kept you safe all these years dissolved on your nineteenth birthday. The link with the Dursleys was broken once you completed eighteen years of life. We were only able to make it extend a couple of years, we were lucky to get that for you."

"I have to kill him."

"Yes, you do, but we are only two men, Harry."

"And the Order."

"Less than forty members, some of which may pull out when the going gets tough and some may be killed."

"Destroy all hope why don't you." Harry accused.

"You wanted to know Harry." Severus pointed out weakly in his defence. "You must attempt to kill the Dark Lord but you must not seek him out on his own ground, he must come to you. All we can do is carry on, stay alive."

"Great!"

"So do you have any plans Potter?" Severus asked.

"I'll think of something."

"Which would be a 'no'."

"What do you expect?" Harry exploded. "I didn't even know what I was supposed to be planning for. You've known about this all this time, you tell me. Tell me, what are you going to do to help me defeat the Dark Lord, hmm?" Harry asked Severus with a sneer, turning on him like a wild cat, "Make him drink a potion? Can the psychic healing touch be reversed to infect the Death Eaters? I think not."

"I have managed enough killing curses in my time." Severus countered with as much menace as he could manage.

"Yes, you HAVE haven't you?" Harry snapped back, "Let's not forget that charming little detail."

Severus could only stand frozen to the spot, any words he might have choking in his throat with the truth of Harry's.

"This is great isn't it?" Harry continued with false and sarcastic cheer. "And I thought being a tourist was going to be fun. That's why they do this isn't it, to have fun? Maybe that's why holidays end when they're supposed to, when the summer ends."

"I don't suppose THEY have an evil army one step behind their every move." Severus commented.

Harry froze. "One step behind?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I don't recommend stopping to find out."

"Don't know much do you?" Harry sneered.

"What do you expect? I'm just the dungeon monster." Severus snapped.

"Of all the wizards in the world, why did Dumbledore shackle me with YOU?" Harry spat before turning away. "They didn't want to keep us away for our own safety did they?" Harry said with a sudden, dark realisation, "They want to keep us away for the safety of the castle. For all I'm destined to save them from this shit, they still cast me away to live like a vagrant with YOU. How much time will we have to summon help, if we get jumped on in the night?" Harry spoke more calmly as he looked beyond into the distance.

"There is more." Severus said his voice now a hoarse whisper.

Harry faced Severus once more and folded his arms, raising an eyebrow at Severus, waiting for him to elaborate.

"It can never be over, not ever. Even if you kill the Dark Lord it doesn't end." Severus continued unable to raise his voice above a whisper as he fought with himself to say what had to be said no matter what the inevitable consequences.

"What?" Harry asked impatiently and with a hint of alarm.

This was what Severus had been trying to avoid on the last day of term, the look in Harry's eyes that must surely follow the coming disclosure. He had always thought it would be someone else telling him, yet damn Albus, he was now in the unenviable position himself; it was like his own personal hell.

"It is not known by many, but it is without a doubt true, that there exists within the larger reality many dimensions in parallel to each other, access to which is only possible via selected portals sensitive to certain specific individuals, concentrated in specific locations." Severus began.

"I'm sure this will reach its conclusion sometime this century." Harry snapped, he was cold and tired and facing a limited future not at all to his liking. He was never going home. He certainly wasn't feeling very receptive to declarations that 'there is more'.

Severus tried to ignore Harry's impatience. This was something that needed to be told properly and could not be rushed.

"Each dimension of reality has the same basic fabric but has developed differently due to alterations and differences in historical and mystical progression. Indeed, certain dimensions have little or no metaphysical component. Whereas others have metaphysical realms existing within that single dimension, these are hidden by wards; like our own world." Severus tried to explain; "There is one dimension where the Germans won the Muggle second world war. Another where the Muggle Clement Attlee was assassinated prior to him ever becoming Prime Minister, as happened in some other dimensions. There is even a dimension where The Golden Dawn is a Muggle organisation, if you can believe."

"Is there a dimension where you get to the point before hell freezes over?" Harry asked with sarcasm and edge worthy of Snape himself.

"You WILL appreciate the detail later, I assure you." Severus snapped in return. "In every dimension there exists, however, the capacity for evil just as there is the capacity for all other things. We have our Dark Lord, others will have him too or some other wizard may have risen to his station instead. There are, perhaps, many hundreds of dimensions, all different; the vast majority, we have no knowledge of."

"So this is the Order's big secret?" Harry asked as Severus paused.

"No," Severus answered plainly, "This is something not even the Order is aware of. Not yet anyway. This is Albus's big secret, he told me, now it's yours too."

"So they exist there and we exist here." Harry said, "Where is the problem?"

"Think Potter!" Severus snapped; must he spell it all out?

Harry glared at Severus but eventually responded. "The portals."

"The portals exist between certain dimensions for specific purposes, all controlled through one single talisman, in this dimension at least. The Talisman Of The Keeper Of The Portals."

Harry rolled his eyes at the ridiculously long and unimaginative name.

"The Dark Lord knows the talisman exists. Certain rare documents which were thought to be lost came into his hands, and now he knows what it can do, and knows how it can be corrupted to his own ends. Fortunately for us he doesn't know how to activate it or where it is. Or how to create another." Severus continued.

"How do you know he doesn't know?" Harry asked.

"The entire world hasn't been destroyed yet."

"Oh."

"Once activated the talisman can give unlimited access to each and every dimension, control over where and when the portals occur and who can pass through them. Unlimited, unstoppable power, in the wrong hands, well…"

"And they know it exists."

"Yes, and they will not ever stop looking for it. Not ever. Even if only one Death Eater existed in our entire world, he would not stop because in front of his solitude would be the promise of another world, with like minded followers ready and willing to join him."

"But it's kept safe, the talisman? What if it were destroyed?" Harry asked, the magnitude of what Severus was saying starting to sink in and giving him a feeling of bone deep cold dread.

"Even if they never found the original, I know that they are also working tirelessly on another one. Sooner or later they will succeed. It is merely a matter of waiting."

"If this isn't an Order thing, who else knows? Who goes through the portals?" Harry asked.

"Albus, myself. You. No others. Certain associates can travel through but they are never permitted to know how it is achieved."

"Who can open it?"

"Albus and myself."

Harry took a deep breath, "So this talisman, it's kept safe right? Gringotts? A dungeon back at the school? Something like that?"

Severus shook his head.

"But this is quite possibly the most dangerous thing ever to have existed. Why hasn't it been destroyed?"

"They will find a way one day, we have to be able to use the talisman to try and counter act what they choose to do with the portals, the talisman can never be destroyed."

"I don't envy the person who has to guard that thing, almost makes our troubles seem like a holiday after all." Harry said with a thought, an idea already starting to trouble his mind. "I suppose without one of the two of you to activate it, it's little more than a trinket. Do they know that you know how to activate it?"

"Not yet, no, I don't think so." Severus answered watching Harry all the while.

"Why do you tell me all this? Surely the less people who know the better?" Harry asked.

"Nobody else will be told but I had to tell you." Severus said, "You wanted to know everything."

"That's why you are in so much danger, from the knowledge?" Harry asked a thought still fighting to get through into coherence in his brain.

"Yes, partly." Severus replied, "I hold the biggest secret that has ever existed."

"Shit." Harry replied, "I really am your escort? I have to keep you alive just as you must try to save me."

"Or kill me before they get the knowledge from me." Severus added.

"Kill you?" Harry repeated his eyes going wide.

"They must never know Harry. You must make sure they never know, even if you have to rip me apart with your own hands. When the time comes you must do it. Your main duty here is to kill me."

Harry could feel that he was breathing too hard yet he felt faint and didn't seem to be getting any air. To dislike Snape was one thing but to kill him was quite another prospect. The thought that had been hammering in his brain was reaching the surface. The book, it was the book. It was what it all meant, why Severus had given him the thing to read. 'Shit' Harry thought, 'shit, shit, shit'. Tears came to his eyes and he backed away from Severus shaking his head. "No, no." Harry whispered. "It can't be."

Severus was touched to see that Harry was having a problem with the concept of having to murder him for the greater good. "A swift killing curse would do, however, if you have the time." He suggested, hardly believing that they were now in this cold dark place together.

Severus could only look on in desperate sadness and confusion as Harry seemed to realise something one step ahead of his explanation.

"Where is it Severus?" Harry asked desperation on his face. "Is this what we're really doing? Where is it, what is it? Is it a ring or a pendant? Is it a ring? I know you have it. Show me! Tell me I'm wrong. Please tell me I am wrong." Harry shouted unaware of the tears streaming down his face unchecked.

Severus watched Harry, he was confused as to how he had reached this correct conclusion, but he knew what they were, what the two of them were doing; there was no winning, they were only running away from the inevitable. Severus pulled his black leather coat back and lifted his shirt up to reveal the bandaging around his waist. He pulled the bandaging back a little to show the little black velvet pouch that the talisman rested in.

Harry stood stunned and speechless, a calm sense of unreality settled over him. His heart felt numb. He saw Severus step towards him. He was the last person he wanted anywhere near him.

"Get away from me." Harry snapped, his face twisted in anticipatory grief for what was to follow. "Don't come near me with that THING."

Severus spoke, still thinking that he should tell Harry everything. "They will go for Albus first, they will do everything to draw you out, but you have disappeared. Once they find that Albus hasn't got it, they might think that you have the talisman. Albus thought that we should take the talisman, since they were always going to come for you anyway and nobody else was ever really suitable. He knew that you would possess the presence of mind to do the right thing when the time came. He has great faith in you, as do I. They might not know where you are but they will stop at nothing to get you to go to them, you must not. Whatever happens, you must make them come to you. Do you understand?"

"The Dark Lord will not make me come." Harry asserted bravely.

"He did it before." Severus pointed out.

Harry nodded. "The visions."

"Most likely." Severus confirmed.

"And when he does come?"

"You must fight him, but first you must kill me."

"Kill yourself." Harry snapped.

"I might not be able to, if they surprise us, you must finish it."

Harry turned away from Severus again staring out across the countryside. "We must find somewhere to rest for the night." Harry said but there was no life in his voice.

Harry started off again towards the town of Morpeth, walking steadily along the side of the road. Severus followed, keeping his other secret for another day.

Severus lay in darkness, awake and sure that he would never sleep properly again. Harry lay beside him and he was sure that the boy couldn't sleep either, but he lay stiffly resolute against letting Severus know it. The light had gone out of Harry's eyes, Severus hoped that he was just a bit upset but somehow he knew it was a little more permanent than that. Severus turned over in his sleeping bag feeling as if he had destroyed the most precious thing in the world, his most precious Harry.


	6. Blissful Death

Chapter Summary: Harry tries to cope with Severus' revelations but Severus isn't coping at all. Harry begins to get help from another mysterious source.

Chapter Six - Blissful Death

_And all I had done below the sun_

_Would count for nothing_

_In the turning of the world_

_When there is nowhere left to go_

_You walk alone and watch the void_

_Eclipse it all_

(Runrig – Nothing But The Sun - Mara)

Harry woke the next morning to a different world, primarily symbolised in that moment, by Severus still lying at his side and not stirring porridge outside like Harry had become accustomed to. Harry pulled himself up and looked down at his companion, remembering what had passed between them the previous day and feeling numb from it. Harry reached out and took a handful of hair lifting it up off Severus' face, holding it in his hand like he liked to do.

"I MUST hate you now," Harry whispered to him as he lay asleep, "Can you be scary Snape for me? Please?"

Severus continued to sleep, to breath in and out gently, Harry leant down to him and his lips touched Severus' forehead very briefly before he pulled away.

"So, you're awake then." Harry criticised as Severus finally emerged from the tent looking like he had never slept at all. "I have made breakfast, hopefully it won't be too hideous." Harry snapped.

"I don't suppose even you can ruin porridge." Severus snapped back.

Harry spooned the porridge out into two bowls having purposely burnt it slightly. He watched as Severus tasted it and waited for the continuing disdain. Severus said nothing and ate it all. Harry started to eat his too and found it tasted disgusting, there was no sugar either, it was all he could do not to grimace, still Severus said nothing.

As soon as they were packed up they started walking. There was fine drizzle in the air and the promise of more. Harry could feel the pull on his shoulders from his rucksack with every step and his feet were aching. The temperature had plummeted in the previous few days and there had been no mention of foot rubs or anything else from Severus. Harry walked ahead now; he had no desire to be near Severus or that THING. The greater the distance between them the better, Harry thought. The wind was blowing strong and it blew damp hair in Harry's face despite the bandana that he had tied low and firm. This was it, this was his life. Get up, walk, think how he was going to kill someone who he had always hated but now inexplicably didn't. Maybe try to annoy Severus into making him hate him again. Dry off a bit, eat, watch his victim sleep awhile, walk, eat, try to sleep but end up watching him again. Harry could not read the book now, he had no heart for it, he could do nothing but stare in front of him and keep on walking.

Severus resumed his cooking duties at lunchtime. Harry let him, fighting over it would be far too much interaction. Harry took his share and tried to eat but it kept sticking in his throat. He could feel Severus watching him, he always had been able to feel him, he couldn't bear it and wished Severus would stop.

They both retreated to the tent for Severus' nap because of the rain and Severus looked up at Harry as he lay down in the sleeping bag, his face lacking expression. Harry turned away and pretended to read, keeping his eyes unfocused so that he couldn't see the words, saying nothing; it was the only place he had left to hide.

That night Harry and Severus both lay down together, now exhausted from lack of sleep and a day's worth of exercise. They turned their backs to each other without a word and Harry fell into a fitful dreaming sleep.

'_My name is Alexian.' the man said, 'avenge me. Kill the Dark Lord and avenge my murder. Harry, they killed me, we were too powerful. Avenge my murder Harry.' the man insisted again. 'Kill the Dark Lord and every single last one of his followers. Take care of him, take care of HIM.'_

Severus woke after an hour despite his fatigue and nagging bone pain. He felt a hundred and there wasn't a joint in his body that didn't ache. There was a weight pressing on his side too, he raised a hand to see what it was and found Harry's arm round his waist and Harry's hand resting on his chest. Harry was lying on his side. Severus lifted the hand off his chest and held it, wondering whether to try and move Harry or let him be and pretend he had not noticed. He closed his eyes again, if he mentioned it, it would cause embarrassment amongst an already volatile situation. He let Harry be, he didn't want to give him any excuse to go running off somewhere. Besides, it was where he most wanted Harry to be.

Harry woke and remembered the dream. He had little recollection of images, only the appearance of this man named Alexian speaking in his head through his dreams. He had looked a little like he himself did now, Harry thought briefly. He remembered the words urging him to kill the Dark Lord. He shrugged to himself and put it at the back of his mind. He was planning to kill the Dark Lord anyway, so what did it matter that a voice in his head was telling him to do it too. He wouldn't bother mentioning it to Severus, it didn't change anything and he wasn't speaking to him anyway. Harry suddenly noticed that he had been sleeping with his arm round Severus' waist. He gently pulled his arm back hardly daring to breath as he did so.

Harry and Severus took a train all the way back to Inverness once they reached Edinburgh. Severus chose the journey because he didn't think he could walk much farther. He didn't particularly want the Muggle contact either but it couldn't be helped. He felt cold and feverish, something that would have been taken away in an instant back at the school or in any other reasonable wizard company but which now plagued him with no hope of release. He could not heal himself; though nobody liked him at all, anybody would have helped him because he was powerful enough to be invaluable to them in return. Harry wasn't, however, following any normal rules or any resemblance of wizard etiquette.

The rain and cold and the life they were leading had caused an infection to settle in Severus' lungs. Harry was irritatingly unaffected. They now walked east to Culloden Muir; a location of Harry's choosing which he said was of historic interest and would be a good place to camp. To Severus it looked very much like windswept moorland, peppered with gravestones.

"Culloden Muir." Harry stated reading from a plaque, the haunted look never leaving his face as he turned to Severus, "Where fifteen hundred highlanders, ill fed and exhausted from a long march, unsuited to open combat on flat land and hopelessly outnumbered, died fighting a futile cause against the English army, as their leader escaped to exile. April 1746. The defeat led to famine and the lairds betrayed their own people in their greed, the clan system and the fabric of the highlands were destroyed forever."

Severus looked out over the field with all its gravestones, it was a desolate place, eerie in the whistling wind. It was getting late.

"I will pitch the tent somewhere over there." Harry announced pointing to a nearby location.

Severus reached a hand out to Harry, desperate to reach him physically and mentally.

Harry flinched violently away, "What part of 'don't touch me' are you having a problem with?" Harry snapped, turning away to hide the tears that threatened to betray him.

"Can't we be friends again?" Severus pleaded, "I didn't do this, Albus gave us the mission."

"Is Snape in there at all? Friends again?! I pretended for the mission, but no more." Harry snapped still turned away from his companion, "Don't tell me that you thought it was real?"

"Harry I…" Severus mumbled unsure of what to say.

"What happened to you? At least Snape had some backbone, look at you, its pathetic. What are you going to do if we get attacked, plead them to death? You want to be my friend for real? You bullied me into pretending, just like you bullied me all those years. I've had it with pretending, so no stupid 'friends' crap from now on, just stick to walking and heating up cans. It doesn't matter anyway, do you really think they'll not realise it's us if you're being nice to me? Actually, you're right, that might well work."

Severus just stared, frozen to the spot, frozen in his heart. He shivered. The rain was falling heavily now and they were soaked. Water ran down both their faces, Severus sniffed as it plagued his nose.

Harry looked up at Severus with almost evil glee and a heavy heart. This was it; the line that even the Harry who hated Snape would never cross.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked gently, drawing Severus into his attention, "Snivellus, snivelly Snivellus? Would you like me to play with you for a little while?"

Harry waited, breathless now that he had said it. Just seeing this in the Pensieve had earned Harry a violent response before; this was the forbidden line, the ultimate card to play. Harry braced himself for an explosion, some anger and fury but there was nothing. Severus gave only a slight frown before he lowered his head slightly and turned.

Harry stood feeling somehow defeated as Severus walked away.

Harry didn't sleep much that night; he had Severus' cough for company. At first it had been once or twice every five minutes, now it just went on and on. Harry wished that he would go sit outside and let him have a little rest. Still Severus lay at Harry's side, flat on his back, making the cough worse. Harry thought once or twice about healing Severus in his sleep, but his resolution to make him beg for it won over by a narrow margin.

Harry fumbled around in the tent looking for his book; Severus was outside staring into space in a non-communicative mood. Not that communicating with him was ever easy, especially now. There wasn't enough room to do anything in the bloody tent, it irritated Harry so much, he was used to the space of the castle. He lifted up a corner of the sleeping bag where he thought he had seen a book shape lump and Severus' rucksack came down on his head.

"Damn it." He swore feeling even more annoyed with himself, the tent and his surly companion.

A small round crystal ball rolled out onto the sleeping bag, Harry picked it up and held it on his palm. He could see Severus' shadow falling across the tent; he wondered what he thought about when he just sat there for hours staring across the fields, as he had taken to doing since Morpeth.

Harry was suddenly overcome by a wave of crippling sadness, deep and penetrating despair, his fist closed around Severus' crystal ball._ 'I will take the potion tonight.' he thought, he won't miss me, why does he hate me so much.'_ Harry thought of cutting across his wrists with a knife then flinched from the thought of the blood. '_My secrets must die with me; one small mouthful and all this will be over. Blissful Death. Wait till he's occupied with his lunch and drink it then. Lie down for a nap, he will watch over you as he has been commanded to do. I wish he didn't hate me. I wish he didn't hate me. I have tried, I can not bear it, Albus, I cannot. Forgive me. I cannot bear the look in his eyes. I want, I want to…'_

"Harry!" A voice all but screamed at him.

Harry jumped and the crystal ball fell from his hands onto the sleeping bag. He was trembling and aware that tears were streaming down his face but the reason they had occurred was suddenly gone from him. He had felt suicidal but now he just felt like an idiot. Severus sat in the tent with a look of fury on his face, the fury Harry had wanted to evoke before now suddenly unwanted and dreaded.

Harry took refuge in his own anger, "What the hell was that?" he shouted back.

"One of my possessions and therefore none of your concern." Severus countered, shouting in pure rage.

"It fell out of your bag."

Severus snorted to demonstrate his disbelief.

"What the hell are you doing, letting things like that lie around? Anything could have happened." Harry accused.

"It was packed away."

"What is it? Some kind of weapon?" Harry persevered, wiping the tears away from his face.

"For once you will have to figure something out for yourself, give it here." Severus snapped.

Harry stood resolutely still.

Severus leant forward and snatched the ball up in his hand and scrambled out of the tent as fast as he could. When Harry reached the entrance to the tent Severus was already half way across the field and up the small incline towards the tree.

Harry caught his breath, he felt like he had been mangled inside. 'What the hell was that', he asked himself. He needed air and space and he scrambled out of the tent too. He wasn't supposed to leave their things unattended but at that moment he didn't care. Let Severus return if he cared about it that much.

Harry sat down on the grass a short distance away and turned back to Severus where he was leant against a tree and had slumped down onto the ground his hair completely obscuring his face like a curtain. He hadn't gone far, Harry noticed, he wasn't trying to run away. Harry tried to think whilst still keeping an eye on his companion; Severus had reacted with such ferocity, there just had to be something really big behind it all. The last time, Harry remembered, that he had seen him like that had been when he had stolen a look in Severus' Pensieve. He tried to remember what he recognised from the ball's thrall. Potions and Albus Dumbledore, the thought of suicide by knifepoint and the distaste at the thought, but no distaste at thought of death by potion.

Harry's mind chugged on knowing he was getting to something. 'Why does he hate me, wait till he's having lunch, he will look over me while I nap' had been the thoughts in his head. How many times had he watched Severus sleep after lunch while he himself was watched over in the latter half of the evening? 'Shit'. All sorts of pieces were falling into place.

Harry jumped to his feet and headed for the tent. Anger welled inside of him, 'don't you dare leave me', he thought passionately, 'you selfish bastard'. Harry scrambled into the tent and started pulling things out of Severus' rucksack, Severus wouldn't care; he was still by the tree. Finally he reached the bottom where the potion case lived. 'This is stupid', he thought, 'but if so, you won't find anything'. He pulled it out and opened the lid. He looked along rows and rows of the usual healing stuff then, suddenly tugged on the base. It came away to reveal a hidden compartment and to Harry's horror, there sat several phials of purple potion neatly labelled in Severus' own hand with the name 'Blissful Death' and the date they were bottled. 'You complete git Severus', he thought, tears coming to his eyes, 'how could you do this?'

Harry took one of the phials up in his hand and turned it round, and it was then that he noticed the date. 'Let my secrets die with me', the crystal ball had placed the thought in Harry's mind. It had been bottled the same day as the last Potions exam. The day Harry had puzzled over Snape hovering over him and failing to say anything; he had been giving up. 'I was not going to be there in any case', Severus had told him about the beginning of the autumn term that they were both going to miss.

Dumbledore had been stopping Harry from running away when he was called to his office that last day, he had known somehow. Harry had always wondered why Snape had ended up being the one to go with him, the one to be burdened with the talisman, for all of Dumbledore's excuses. Now Harry knew, he hadn't been the only one planning something that night. Now he understood the feeling of despair coming from the ball, he had wondered what Severus was thinking and the ball had shown him. Dumbledore might have stopped him from drinking the potion that July night but he hadn't taken away the wish to do so. 'Shit', Harry thought, 'shit, shit, shit'.

He had finally worked something out for himself and he wished he could have stayed in the dark. All that stuff about having to kill him wasn't Albus's idea, or part of the mission. It was Severus' idea, his addition, what HE wanted, what he thought about day after day behind that carefully composed expression. Severus' greatest wish after that was that Harry wouldn't hate him.

Harry had been so wound up with everything and he had taken out his anger the only place he could. He didn't hate Severus, he didn't. He had once but not now, Severus was all he had left in the world. It wasn't just some desperate, lonely thing either; Harry knew that if everybody came back and he had all his friends again it wouldn't change a thing. Severus had remembered his birthday, it would have been safer for the mission if they hadn't celebrated it, he now realised.

When Harry left the tent he found that Severus was still sat by the tree. He approached him, worrying that he would stay there until he died of exposure, and even more concerned now that he knew that Severus didn't care. He had been ill and hadn't asked for help, maybe not due to stubbornness like Harry had thought.

Harry knelt down in front of him, only a slight tremble of his shoulders gave anything way.

"I worked it out." Harry said boldly, somehow he felt he could not be frightened of Severus any longer. "It shows a person's thoughts and feelings."

"Yes." Severus whispered.

"Will you have some chocolate?" Harry offered reaching inside his pocket. Since they had both experienced the thoughts in question, he thought it was pointless repeating the specifics.

Severus shook his head. From what Harry could see from under the blanket of hair, Snape was like a lump of jelly with a blank expression.

"Maybe you should use it more yourself, then you would know that I don't hate you." Harry said softly.

"It wouldn't be fair." Severus muttered.

"Fair? Fair! Don't you ever dare leave me in this on my own, do you understand? What the hell did you think I was going to do with a dead body? Would it be fair to let me find you like that?" Harry said shouting. Severus flinched and Harry was alarmed at how quickly everything had been turned on its arse. All he had to do in the end was find out what was really going on in his head.

"I hate canned food, I hate that fucking tent," Harry continued, "I hate bedrolls and sleeping bags. I hate that I'm never going back to school. Most of all I hate cows and cow shit, but I don't hate you." Then added softly, "Can never hate you, not any more."

"You preferred the Dursleys." Severus accused.

"I preferred that everybody thought I was going to the Dursleys." Harry corrected.

Severus looked up at that. Harry was glad he had ensnared his curiosity.

"You weren't the only one who had plans that day." Harry pointed out.

Severus looked away but Harry was sure he was still listening.

"What were you going to do?" Severus asked.

"I was going to get out of King's Cross before they arrived and go sleep rough, under a bridge somewhere or other, I hadn't really settled on an exact location"

"They never came." Severus said.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, "Don't care, I was never going to be there anyway."

Severus laughed a grim laugh; it was as near to any kind of laugh Harry had ever heard from him.

"As it turns out my plans weren't too different from this, except that I have you." Harry added.

"What a comfort to you."

"Look, this whole situation is enough to drive anybody completely insane. We spend all day in each other's faces. I thought it was just for the summer. I'm sorry."

"I just couldn't go on any more."

"Take the ball in your hand." Harry commanded.

Severus slowly pulled it out from inside his coat.

"Now use it to see."

Severus thought of Harry and felt the warmth of friendship before putting it back in his coat.

"I don't think we can make anything seem all right, but we shouldn't be fighting with each other, come have some lunch." Harry offered trying to break the tension; he stood up.

Severus remained seated. Harry placed a hand cautiously on his shoulder. "I'll cook," He added.

Severus didn't shake off his hand but he didn't make any other movement either. Then Harry felt the rattle of the cough in his chest that was quickly followed by another. Severus wrapped his arms round his chest and Harry could feel that it was painful. He knew it had been going on since before Edinburgh and while Harry had still been angry he had been able to ignore it very well. To feel it in Severus now was something else entirely. He hadn't been this close to Severus for many days, even at night he had been keeping himself covered and away from Harry. Severus was sickly in colour and his chest felt like his lungs were severely congested.

Harry sank to his knees behind Severus.

"Take off your coat." Harry ordered.

"'S cold." Severus replied rather pathetically shivering.

Harry started to pull on Severus' coat not about to give up and he reluctantly complied.

Harry reached a hand up underneath Severus' shirt and he touched the bare skin of his back as he gently felt around searching for the correct spot, persevering despite Severus' flinch at his touch. Harry closed his eyes and thought warmth and thought about the pain and sickness coming up into his fingers, into his palm; felt the weakness travelling down his arm. Harry slumped against the tree behind Severus feeling drained.

"Looks like I succeeded in teaching you something at least." Severus said, very Snapey words, no edge to them at all.

"You should lie down, come have some lunch then you can have your nap." Harry said pulling himself up to sitting. He placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, testing himself. He felt comfortable with it and Severus didn't pull away from the contact. Harry shuffled over on the grass and rested his cheek against Severus' back. He still didn't feel frightened although he could feel Severus' muscles tense.

"I couldn't kill you, can't." Harry said quietly as he leant against Severus feeling the sickly warmth of his feverish body. "Can't do it."

"I should never have asked you to, sorry." Severus replied matching the quiet almost whisper.

"I didn't mean any of those things that I said, I thought it would be easier if I provoked you, got back the real you that I remembered. But it just got harder."

Severus buried his head in his hands; Harry could feel a slight tremble in his shoulders and remained pressed against his back. "It was all true, you should have meant it. This IS the real me." Severus whispered.

"Give me the crystal ball." Harry commanded.

"Why?"

"Because I need to know that you're not going to do anything stupid." Harry replied remaining firm.

Severus reached inside his coat and pulled the ball out holding it in his hand and briefly thinking of Harry's emotions as he handed it over, '_worry_, _concern_ and _affection'_. Severus thought of the night that he had found Harry's arm wrapped around him and hoped that it would happen again, sometime soon. Then Severus froze solid, realising what he had just done as Harry stared out across the countryside, his eyes wide with surprise and the crystal ball held firmly in his hand.

"Lunch?" Harry tried to ask more brightly, choosing not to draw any more attention to what had just passed, the feeling of affection he had received from the ball in particular. They would be talking some time very soon, but first Harry had to get his companion back to health before they overstayed their welcome on this grim and desolate little muir.

Harry helped Severus ease his coat back on over his shoulders; he was beginning to shiver. When they got back to the tent Harry heated their lunch, as Severus lay back with his head on his rucksack feeling quite drained and ill now that the tension between them had gone. It seemed like the atmosphere between Harry and himself had been the only thing keeping him going. Another bought of coughing tore through his chest.

"Should I try again?" Harry asked fearing that he hadn't been much help after all.

"No, later, don't wear yourself out." Severus replied between coughs.

Harry was keeping a hold on the crystal ball, although he had demanded it for suicide watch he found he needed to be sure about Severus once and for all. He didn't want to open up for real, give everything of himself, just to get hurt by the return of Snape.

"Can you get me the whiskey?" Severus asked pulling himself up a bit, leaning on an elbow.

Harry disappeared inside the tent to find the bottle and was confronted by the mess he had made searching through Severus' things. He heard another cough from outside; there was no time to fix things. Harry picked up the bottle and went back outside. He poured some of the whiskey into one of their breakfast bowls and handed it to Severus. His hand shook a little as he drank it but he seemed to find the drink a bit soothing at least.

"You've never been ill before have you?" Harry asked.

"Not for more than half an hour." Severus replied keeping his arms wrapped round his chest and now sitting up.

"No wonder you ended up in a state as soon as the weather changed." Harry commented.

Although Severus' regard for him didn't falter, Harry could sense some embarrassment creeping in after what had just passed. He could also tell that Severus was exhausted from lack of sleep.

"We'll eat our lunch, then I'll tidy up the tent, then you're having a nap." Harry stated handing Severus his can and a spoon. "And I'm doing the shopping next, I'm not convinced this is the best you can do."

Severus gave no argument and sank back down onto the ground and his rucksack, lying on his side so he could still eat.

To Harry's relief Severus stayed outside until he was told he could come in meaning that Harry didn't have to test his new found patience too soon. He had managed to get everything but the Blissful Death back into its proper place.

"Take your coat off," Harry instructed, as Severus was about to crawl into the sleeping bag fully clothed.

To Harry's surprise Severus complied without a question.

"I will try the healing when I'm ready again, I won't need to wake you." Harry explained although Severus had probably realised what he was doing.

Severus stripped down to his shirt and the leather pants then crawled into the sleeping bag. Harry took his patchwork jacket off and folded it up; it was softer than anything else they had. He offered it to Severus as a pillow. He then lay both of Severus' coats and his own leather one on top of the sleeping bag.

"Now, in Muggle land, you go to bed and stay warm till it goes away." Harry instructed.

"How primitive." Severus sneered but Harry could still feel the friendly warmth and mixed with that some amusement. Harry actually had to entertain the thought that Severus might not realise how sour he sounded half the time.

"Try and sleep." Harry instructed as he left the tent, only marvelling at the bizarreness of his situation when he was sat outside.

Severus lay with his head buried in Harry's strange little patchwork coat, the whiskey mushing up his brain a little, having become a bit out of practise at drinking since their adventure began. He wondered if he could manage to stay awake long enough to feel Harry's wonderfully soothing, healing hands on his skin once more. Severus closed his eyes, reminding himself that it would probably take at least a few more attempts; he could sleep through this one.


	7. Temporary Peace

Author's Note: Thanks to Daxed for pointing out the error in CH3 regarding Harry's birthday. Sev does remember it correctly in the story and I have now corrected the text to reflect this. 

Thanks also, to all of the reviewers who left messages for Chapter 6, your encouragement and appreciation is greatly appreciated and will get the chapters written and posted faster, it really spurs me on. This is my first HP fanfic and I am so glad you are all enjoying it.

In Chapter Seven - After two angsty chapters and a bit more in this one, Harry and Sev have a little wander around Edinburgh. The Waterstones bookshop mentioned in the text was the location of the midnight signing of The Order Of The Phoenix on 21st June. The maps are on the top floor, accessible only by stairs, poor Sev.

Chapter Seven - Temporary Peace 

_And there's so many many thoughts _

_When I try to go to sleep _

_But with you I start to feel _

_A sort of temporary peace_

After an hour Harry became fairly sure that Severus was asleep and crawled back into the tent to watch over him. Not to stop Death Eaters or stop him drinking potion but to make sure he didn't just die anyway. Harry wasn't sure how serious something like this could get and Severus didn't look well at all. He was desperate to lay his hands on Severus' chest again but he had been right, as always, it would be better in the long run if he waited. It didn't mean he couldn't straighten Severus' hair out though.

As Harry reached out Severus started to move and he had to pull away as he turned onto his back. Harry sat back a little; he could watch him now without being so near. Severus' left arm lay on top of the coverings, holding them just below his chin. His face was relaxed in a way it never was when he was awake. The crystal ball had shown Harry his affection; Harry leaned over and laid a hand over the slim elegant one lying on top of the covers. He could make up some excuse if he woke, Harry thought, be brave, you're supposed to be brave. Somehow, despite everything else, this felt a bit like happiness.

If Severus were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he hadn't really thought beyond September either. He had known in the back of his mind that this wasn't going to be over very quickly but he had no more idea than Harry what was going to happen or how long it would take. He had no idea what they were going to do once it started getting colder and there was a distinct chill to the morning air already. In addition to the weather problems they would also start to look more conspicuous wandering around the countryside allegedly 'on holiday'. Harry had managed to make him well again but it had taken a few days and they were still, rather recklessly, very close to Drumossie Muir, the top portion of which was Culloden.

"Now what?" Harry asked as Severus was fixing them some breakfast, resuming the duty after being banned from it for the last few days.

"Hmm?"

"We need to discuss where we are heading next." Harry announced more clearly, "That means you talking to me, telling me your thoughts, then I will reply, then WE will make a decision."

Severus frowned slightly, pretending to concentrate on the pan and stove.

"We also need to discuss our overall strategy for the coming months." Harry continued.

"I've been thinking about that." Severus announced at last.

"Yes?"

"We can talk about it while we walk." Severus replied buying himself time. He was supposed to know, Harry might think he wanted them to decide things together but he would still want him to know things and lead the way.

Severus fell silent again and Harry was psyching himself up to ask what he really wanted to know, before anything else.

"Were you serious when you said I might have to kill you?" Harry asked before Severus could look up and make him more nervous.

Severus stopped stirring with his spoon at the words but he didn't look up.

"I was wondering whether it was just something you thought about when you're not feeling too happy." Harry continued.

"Happy? What is happy?" Severus muttered to himself then looked up, "It might become necessary, I know no more than you do what will happen. They cannot know what I know, that's all."

"You know I can't do it." Harry reminded him trying to fight back the emotion that was threatening to break his resolve to get this matter discussed. He held the crystal ball in his hand and connected with Severus' emotions and found he felt the same but he remained composed.

"I know, you said." Severus replied.

"I have the Blissful Death, amongst my things, if ever the situation is looking seriously bad I will give you one to carry. I can't do any more than that." Harry told Severus looking down at the grass so that he could get the words out.

"That will have to do." Severus replied.

"But understand, Severus, I hold the rest." Harry continued feeling moisture on his cheeks but continuing anyway, "If you ever go before your time I swear I will take one myself, and then where will our world be and the precious prophecy and the bloody Dark Lord. Do you understand?" Harry demanded.

"Yes." Severus replied feeling more stunned than he ever had in his life. "I understand."

"We don't speak about this again." Harry announced wiping his face with his sleeve. "Give it to me."

"What?"

"The THING, whatever it's called." Harry continued, "Give it to me."

"The Talisman Of The Keeper Of The Portals? Why?" Severus asked.

"For the same reason you don't keep the key to your house under a mat in front of the door. Maybe being able to separate the knowledge from the talisman might buy us some time, if it ever came to it."

Severus could see the sense in the idea, though he knew how heavy it felt on him, the way it dug into his ribs every time he moved, and he didn't want that for Harry. But it seemed it was heavy on him anyway.

"In the tent." Severus suggested.

Severus shuffled over to Harry on the sleeping bag where he now sat, their breakfast forgotten. He took off his coat and started to pull his shirt over his head. When he had placed his shirt to the side and turned to Harry he had his shirt pulled up over his head but the braids in his hair were catching on the buttons. Severus reached out to help him gently freeing his hair from the tangle. Severus lifted the shirt the rest of the way off Harry's head.

They were sitting so close, Severus noticed, if it hadn't been for their most recent conversation he would have been enjoying the experience very much. He wasn't enjoying this at all, but one thing was the same as it would have been, he wanted to close the rest of the distance between them and hold Harry tight against him. Severus looked up at Harry at the same time as he felt for the tucked in end of the bandage round his waist and started to unwind it.

For what Severus thought was the first time ever, their eyes met and they maintained the look as Severus got the entire bandage unwound.

Severus eventually sat with the little velvet pouch in his hand, Harry looked down at it.

"It isn't very big is it?" Harry commented.

"No, it doesn't need to be." Severus replied.

Harry raised his arms above his head, "Do it."

Severus reached inside for a fresh bandage; he had been buying them from Muggle shops as they travelled, always changing it discretely away from Harry.

"This is a crepe bandage, you will find it fits very snugly but it will stretch as you move." Severus explained as he leant over and secured the talisman to Harry's waist, talking more to alleviate his nerves than anything else. "The talisman itself will dig in a little bit but you'll find it reassuring that you can feel it. You can't be checking all the time."

They put their clothes back on and went outside to salvage breakfast, letting the tension of current events ebb away till they reached a grim but companionable silence.

Once they were packed up Harry and Severus started on their days walking, Harry led the way south.

"So where are we going?" Severus asked gently prodding Harry into making the decision.

"South, let's go back to the south." Harry replied.

"But we've just got the train all the way up here, now you want to go back down?" Severus said catching Harry up and walking at his side.

"Yes, what a silly idea, who would think we would do that?" Harry replied.

"Exactly, south it is then."

"Besides I want to visit Edinburgh."

Severus gave Harry a disapproving look, "Big city."

"Been there already." Harry countered.

"To catch a train."

"Won't be expecting us back again so soon."

"Tent pitching opportunities?" Severus queried.

"We walk in, spend the day and walk out again or get a bus." Harry continued feeling determined.

Severus sighed. "All right then, Edinburgh it is."

"Thank you Sev." Harry said looking very pleased with himself.

'Sev'!? Severus thought, where had he heard that before, "Have you been at the whiskey?" Severus accused.

Harry didn't bother denying it. "Just a little bit."

"Harry, you can't do that, not during the day, not without telling me." Severus snapped more out of fear for the both of them than anger at Harry.

Harry stopped walking, the alcohol-induced cheer wiped from his face in an instant, "I just wanted to forget for a little while." Harry said his arms wrapped round his waist.

Severus placed a hand on Harry's arm. "I need to know so that I can look out for you." He tried to explain hoping that Harry would see his intentions.

"Sorry." Harry replied.

They had reached a fence and Severus climbed over it into the next field. As Harry climbed up Severus held out a hand to him.

"Come on, you usually ending up falling flat on your face, I don't suppose a skin full of Jack Daniels is going to help your balance any." Severus snapped, a look of Snapey disdain on his face.

Harry reached inside his coat for the crystal ball, _affection_, _amusement_, "You think you're being funny and you care." Harry said giggling a little.

Severus rolled his eyes in mock irritation. "Of course I care, I always did, take my hand."

Harry felt the chilly, smooth, slender hand close over his own, then jumped down from the fence, Severus steadied Harry's landing by pulling him towards him and letting him collide with his chest.

"Sorry." Harry whispered looking up sheepishly.

Severus straightened Harry up and pointed him in the direction of their destination. "Come on, ten miles to go before supper." He said leading the way.

Harry and Severus pitched the tent that night amongst the mountains in a valley a short way outside a village called Tomatin. From the first map Severus had ever bought for them they could tell that the mountains were called Beinn Bhreac, Carn na h-Easgainn, Meall a' Bhreacraibh and Carn a' Choire Mhoir. Severus seemed to find this sort of thing interesting but Harry thought it funny that the names of the mountains all sounded like the words used to cast dark curses.

"So we go due south till the names get less cursey?" Harry commented sipping on a bowlful of whiskey that Severus had given him.

"No, not quite." Severus said pointing to the Cairngorms on the map. "If we head into that lot, we might not see a town for days and I'm not prepared to carry enough food for that long."

"So we move east to the coast."

"Yes, we go round to the east, where the walking is a little easier and we can get supplies." Severus continued.

"It's going to rain," Harry pointed out looking warily up at the sky, "Next time it rains we're hiding in the tent."

It was getting very chilly at night now and Harry wore his patchwork coat over the grey wool one and Severus sat with his sleeping bag unzipped and wrapped around his shoulders. They both leant back against a rock they had found, which had a reasonably smooth side and sheltered them from most of the wind.

"I think we deserve a little treat." Severus announced dipping a hand into his rucksack after he had pulled it up onto his lap. He removed a small tin box.

"What is that?" Harry asked peering into the box and seeing what looked like dried grass.

"A little smoke." Severus replied rolling some of the stuff into papers.

"Oh, like the cigarettes."

Severus nearly smiled, "A bit like that. This isn't going to be much use for anything if we don't use it soon. Doesn't keep very long, especially in damp conditions."

Severus lit one with his wand and took a drag, and then he handed it to Harry.

"Do I not get one too?"

"See if you like it first."

"We're both doing this together, Mr Cautious?" Harry asked taking his first smoke, inhaling like he had done before in the pub.

"Well, you can clear it again with your wand. Bi sobarra."

"They don't teach that one at school."

"It's banned by the Ministry."

Harry smiled wickedly, "Naughty Sev." He took another drag on the smoke, "Oh, not quite like cigarettes is it?" He giggled.

"No, give it back. You like?" Severus said smiling a little.

Harry nodded and handed the smoke back, he received a new one in return.

Harry shuffled closer to Severus, "So cold now. But warm and fuzzy too." He said leaning his head on Severus' shoulder.

"So are we friends then?" Severus dared to ask.

"Oh yes," Harry smiled, "You're my biggest, bestest friend."

Severus leant towards Harry and let his cheek rest against Harry's head.

They smoked some more till a quarter of Severus' stash was gone. Then, tired of holding back, Severus reached out and took one of Harry's hands in his and gently held it, Harry's fingers curled round to make the hold firmer. Severus reached inside his coat and drew his wand, he passed it over himself whispering, "Bi sobarra." Before putting it safely away again. He then got Harry to go inside the tent and climb into his sleeping bag. After quickly shovelling all their things into the tent too he placed Harry's wand, which had so far been providing their light, beside Harry by his head. The gentle glow lit his features and Severus lay down beside him. He laid a protective arm over Harry's chest and Harry held Severus' hand again, eventually relaxing as he drifted off to sleep.

In the following days they travelled more towards Aberdeen than Edinburgh but at least the going was easier. After a week they found themselves pitching the tent near Brechin, finally heading south. The weather had turned warmer, almost summery despite the evidence in the browning leaves of the trees.

Harry lay back on the grass underneath the tree after a long days walk, Severus was sat up against the trunk and Harry looked up at him as he just sat there with his eyes closed feeling the late autumn sun, the Indian summer, on his face. They had just shared the last of the Jack Daniels, which amounted to only two mouthfuls each.

"Ho, ho, ho, to the bottle I go, To heal my heart and drown my woe, Rain may fall and wind may blow, And many miles be still to go, But under a tall tree I will lie, And let the clouds go sailing by." Harry recited from memory.

Harry saw that Severus actually smiled, "Think of that by yourself?" He asked.

"Like you don't know."

Severus opened one eye slightly, "Know what?"

"You bought the book."

"What book?"

"THE book."

"Oh, THAT book, well I didn't have time to read it all while I was waiting for you at the station you know."

"You don't know? I thought you must have chosen it for a reason, because of the ring."

Severus sighed, "What ring?"

"THE ring."

"This is quite possibly turning into THE most tedious conversation I have ever had with you, Potter. Now, please explain yourself or I shall have to deduct ten points from Griffindor."

Severus was joking, Harry thought, well, he couldn't possibly be being serious even though he still sounded as stern as ever.

"I thought you knew, one of the characters has to go on a journey with one of his friends, on foot like us, there is a Dark Lord and there's a magical ring which the Dark Lord wants but they can't let him have it. That's how I guessed we were carrying the talisman."

Severus sighed again, "Well that explains why it is called The Lord Of The Rings but I bought it because it had a nice cover, all black with glossy symbols that you couldn't see at first. I only had a few minutes and it seemed quite magically orientated for a Muggle work."

"Oh." Harry replied. "That's weird."

"Why don't you read it to me," Severus suggested, his eyes closed again, "While we sit and while we walk, sometimes I get tired of just sitting here."

"I thought you liked to just sit there."

"Oh yes, It's all I've ever dreamed of." Severus replied sarcastically. "I have been used to my time being taken up by teaching, marking and reading. My so-called spare time was often taken up with potions and detention. This has been very difficult."

"And any remaining time was used for getting drunk and stoned."

Severus' face twisted into a smile, "Yes."

"I would like to read it you." Harry offered.

"Good." Severus replied, "But you will have to start at the beginning."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I did realise that."

Severus remained with his head resting back against the tree, feeling pleased that at last they were getting on with each other. He had so desperately wanted it and now it looked as if at least they were truly friends now.

Severus sat looking out into the distance thinking about the other little secret he hadn't told Harry about. Harry was reading his book, burdened enough by the truths he did know; too much of that, to worry that there might be something else. Though, Severus knew, he had made an extra special effort to conceal this one. He would have to tell Harry, he would have to tell him soon but Harry would have to make a decision, and Severus needed Harry to make the right choice, make a lifetime commitment. The timing was everything. He needed Harry to be his friend; he thought he had that now. Severus knew his own regard was enough to make it work, but was Harry's regard deep enough for such a choice? Everything Severus thought he had with Harry was stolen from the neck of a bottle, or so it seemed to Severus' pessimistic mind.

Once they reached Princes Street in Edinburgh Severus unexpectedly gestured to a park bench a little way in from the main road facing towards the castle.

"Wait here," Severus told Harry pulling his rucksack off his shoulders and handing it to Harry, "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Harry nodded and sat with the two rucksacks as instructed. He watched Severus as he crossed the busy main street and approached a bookshop called Waterstone's, the shop's name in gold lettering over a black background. He was impressed by the way Severus seemed to tower above everybody else as if he was even taller than he actually was. Harry knew that he might be in line for the third part of the book he was reading. Although Severus might be only looking for a map, Harry felt fairly confident.

To Harry's eternal amusement Severus returned with a harassed and murderous expression on his face, but more importantly a little black plastic carrier bag.

Severus purchased two cups of tea in polystyrene cups from a man who was strangely selling hot beverages in the middle of the park. He sat down on the bench, gave one cup to Harry and pulled a map from the black plastic bag, which he had placed by his side. Harry could hardly believe he had been watching and waiting and hoping. He felt like a complete idiot for only a few minutes before Severus also produced a thick black covered paperback from the bag and handed it to him.

"So what do we do today?" Harry asked.

"This is your day, nothing to do with me." Severus replied as he fought with the map to get it unfolded.

Harry took his tea so he could use both hands. "Shall I read to you for a while?" Harry offered.

Although it was a bit cooler now the sun shone in a cloudless sky and they were wearing all of their coats to save carrying them. It was quite pleasant sitting out in the park.

"Let me work out where we're going next then you can read." Severus suggested.

Harry opened the new book at the first page and read to himself while he drank his tea. When he noticed Severus putting the map away Harry dug into his rucksack and pulled the first book out.

Severus sat on the bench leaning back slightly wanting to close his eyes but not daring to because of their location.

"Read now?" Harry asked.

Severus nodded; Harry gave him both rucksacks to hold then swung his legs up on the bench and laid his head back on Severus' lap. Severus knew Harry hadn't been drinking, they didn't have any left, he didn't say anything. He was a little unsure where he was meant to put his hands though.

After the reading Harry and Severus went for a walk around Edinburgh heading over towards the castle. Harry wasn't enjoying it as much as he thought he would. All the people, things going on, it was what he thought he needed a bit of. Now all he wanted was to get into the middle of nowhere and sit with Severus while they read together. The crowds were making Severus very twitchy, which was part of it. Part of it also was the way people kept walking into them, never giving them any room despite the fact they couldn't miss seeing the rucksacks. Time after time Harry was knocked into Severus and though it didn't happen so often people knocked into Severus too. Harry could tell he was getting more and more annoyed, he only hoped it wouldn't bring on a Snapey relapse. Harry persevered, this had been his idea, but he really just wanted to get out.

They eventually came across a street full of more interesting shops, little wizard statues were in display cabinets near the window of one. Some of the shops sold clothes that were similar to the ones they were wearing and their path through became less plagued by trouble. Harry thought he actually heard Severus start to breath again.

"Hey." Harry said noticing the people milling around the shops, "People like us."

"People dressed like us." Severus corrected, "Be careful, we have never been in danger of being approached before."

The potential assailants continued to mind their own business.

"I think you should have a bandana too, it might keep your head warmer. Plus your hair won't get in your eyes when the wind is behind us." Harry suggested.

Severus didn't exactly look pleased at the idea but Harry could see that he was considering the practicalities. "Did you see any of these bandanas in any of these shops?" he asked.

"Oh yes, over there." Harry said pointing back down the street; it was only a few doors down.

"Did you have a particular one in mind?" Severus asked regarding Harry with interest, he was starting to dress him up now?

They approached the shop and tentatively stepped inside, in amongst all the people that looked like them, but were apparently still to be regarded as the enemy. Harry picked up the one that had taken his fancy.

"Oh, burgundy." Severus stated, "Not black then?"

"You have too much black."

"My shirt is white."

"Not through your choice." Harry argued.

"All right, but you have to have the one with the little coins on the corners."

"I'll jingle when I walk."

"Maybe not." Severus said almost smiling at the idea of Harry jingling.

"Can I have some hair bands though? To tie it back with." Harry asked, he couldn't remember if he'd ever been brave enough to ask Severus for anything. Severus certainly looked a bit surprised.

"Of course, can you find some?" Severus replied looking around the little shop, which was quite dark inside and crowded with stuff.

After they had finished their shopping Harry and Severus took a bus out of the city and to the north. They were heading for Stirling next, going across country to vary their route a bit. They got off the bus at its terminus point and walked the rest of the way to the first spot they could find which was secluded enough.

Severus held the bandana in his hand after they had finished eating. Harry had picked out one, which was almost exactly like his own in colour.

"So how do you put this on?" Severus asked, "Can you show me?"

Harry came to Severus side and took the bandana from him, "I'll do it for you." He offered. "Turn around."

Severus shuffled round so his back was turned to Harry. Severus then felt Harry gathering his hair back so it lay behind his shoulders, completely un-phased by their proximity. He then folded the cloth into a triangle and wrapped the widest part round his head and tied the two ends at the back. The remaining point was tucked underneath the knot at the back. Harry shuffled round to sit in front of Severus and gave him a smile the likes of which he hadn't seen since Harry had been drunk in Dunoon.

Harry and Severus sat in the tent having had their breakfast, the temperature had plummeted over night and Harry was wearing everything he owned, having woken up shivering.

"We really need to do something about this." Harry said looking pleadingly at Severus, "I mean, why didn't Albus just get us a better sleeping bag if we were going to be here into the winter?"

"Maybe he didn't expect us to last this long." Severus pointed out grimly.

"Muggle tent, Muggle sleeping bags! Do you know, these sleeping bags actually came with instructions! They don't keep you warm but they come with instructions."

"You are ranting Harry."

"I don't care, I'm cold, it will keep me warm." Harry searched around in the bottom of his rucksack and produced the instructions in question, "Here, look at them."

Harry thrust the glossy little piece of paper at Severus.

Severus took the instructions from Harry wondering what he was supposed to do with them and settled for reading the text alongside the little photographs, if only to help calm his companion.

"Oh." Severus said with economy.

"What?" Harry asked wondering what Severus could have found that warranted any kind of response at all.

Severus handed him the instructions back, "See for yourself."

Harry read from the beginning, "'A set of two sleeping bags ideal for a camping holiday for two, also available in navy blue'. Fascinating to know that since we have two red ones, shall we get both and alternate? 'Both sleeping bags can be conveniently unzipped and placed together'… 'to form one single double sized sleeping bag'." Harry finished his reading with a flutter of nerves. Was this what Severus wanted him to notice? He couldn't look up.

"Bloody Albus." Severus said with the kind of irritation that Harry recognised as being mixed with amusement and fondness for the old man.

"Of course, it was one of the Order who picked it up from the shop, probably at random." Harry pointed out.

"I don't believe in coincidences." Severus stated.

Harry smiled, "Neither do I." He replied.

"Well."

"Well, we would be able to get all of the coats laid over both of us." Harry said daringly, still not looking up.

Severus didn't reply and Harry knew he had just suggested something so ridiculous that things would never be the same again. He had allowed their new found friendship to cloud his brain into conjuring up all sorts of silly ideas, but he was an idiot to even go near voicing one. Severus wasn't giving him any indication of how thoroughly horrified he was, he would have to look up. Harry slowly raised his head; Severus had unzipped one of the sleeping bags and was now unzipping the other. Harry smiled but didn't say anything; somehow he knew further words wouldn't add anything to the moment.

He wants to sleep that close, Severus thought as he zipped the two bags together, 'is that enough to make him say 'yes'?' he asked himself. Somehow he just didn't have the courage to ask, not yet.


	8. The Spirit In Dreaming

Author's Note 

Hi there. Thanks you loads for continuing support in the reviews. Your comments are invaluable. Thanks also for reminding me of some HP aspects I hadn't addressed yet, such as the situation with the owls, I will endevor to cover these issues in the coming chapters. I was aiming for a very isolated feel with the first few chapters but will now be getting into details of Harry and Sev's world a bit more, though this is Au so I will be messing with a few things. The magic will come into it a bit more and thanks to the delightful visions, so will a lot of the other characters.Snape makes a few guest appearances (chapter 10), I had been watching 'Kate and Leopold' and Sev was getting soppy, plus I really need to torture Harry a bit, it's fun (Sev will predominate however).Sev finally tells Harry about the secret in Chapter Nine.

In Chapter Eight - Here come the visions, plus the advice of a friendly spirit and some really weird dreams. Oh yea and slashiness :) Warning: Character death, but you won't care about it. I haven't killed Sev or anything :) also I suppose MPREG because of the dreams.

Chapter Eight - The Spirit In Dreaming 

Later that day as the sun went down, it became windier than the previous night. It looked like rain too. Harry and Severus finished their food as quickly as possible and got themselves inside the tent for the night despite the fact that Harry thought his nerves would eat him alive. This was the first night they would be sleeping together in their enlarged sleeping bag. To Harry Severus didn't appear to be nervous but then he was capable of hiding things so well even the Dark Lord couldn't tell, a fact that worried Harry from time to time; a fact that worried him even more on occasions when he had been thinking of Severus in a very intimate way. Could it all be a trick, could the crystal ball be misleading him? Harry didn't want to think like this, how could anybody pretend so intensely?

Harry suddenly noticed that Severus was looking at him.

"What?" Harry queried breaking out of his thoughts.

"I want some sleep now, get in." Severus commanded.

Harry wondered if Severus' sternness was supposed to irritate him beyond embarrassment. He pulled his bandana off and shook his hair, then ran his fingers through it to straighten it back out again. To Harry's amusement and in contradiction to his current manner, Severus did the same.

Harry snuggled down underneath the covers and Severus promptly joined him. They already had everything else piled up on top of them.

"Turn your back to me and get up close." Severus commanded turning away from Harry in his usual position. Harry did as he was told feeling very weird and trying not to remember that this had been his idea.

Harry hadn't thought he would get to sleep in such a bizarre situation but he was very tired and it really was a vast improvement on the warmth front. Harry dreamt.

'_I need to you to take care of him. Take care of my poor abused boy. Be gentle with him, he was badly used. Hold him, yes, that's right, don't let go.'_

Harry knew he had been dreaming when he woke the next morning but he couldn't remember what about. What did immediately grab his attention was the fact that Severus was now on his back. In addition, Harry noticed with a certain amount of horror, his head was resting on Severus' shoulder and his right arm was draped over Severus' chest. Severus' head had fallen to rest on Harry's and he really didn't know how he was going to wriggle free without Severus waking up. He reprimanded himself once more for having suggested such a stupid idea. Harry didn't try to move right away, he was warm, he felt safe. It felt right snuggled up against his companion with only their two shirts separating them, Harry's arm moving up and down as Severus' chest rose and fell. He didn't want to let go, he felt like he wanted to wrap his arm further round Severus' chest and squeeze tightly. Part of him wanted Severus to wake up and see, and end the stupid charade.

Severus' head lifted up and Harry had the presence of mind to use the opportunity to slide away from him, he would probably kill him if he found him there anyway. So why did he have drunken memories of Severus holding his hand? Harry thought, 'because you were out of your brain with weed' an unwelcome voice inside his head told him. '_Because he loves you'_. Another voice spoke to Harry as he lay watching Severus continue to sleep, he remembered now that it had been in his sleep again that night. It was daylight, why was Severus still asleep so late anyway, Harry thought. Harry leant over and stroked a hand down Severus' face, to his delight, Severus' head pressed towards Harry's hand and he breathed out in a kind of contented way.

Harry took the opportunity to take a turn at making breakfast; if he stayed in the bed any longer he was going to do something he would regret.

When Severus woke he found that Harry was not beside him but sat outside smiling to himself. What surprised Severus more was how rested he felt, he hadn't realised he had been sleeping badly but he felt much better. It would seem that Harry was feeling quite chirpy too.

Severus shuffled out of the tent and noticed that Harry was fixing breakfast.

"Stay where you are." Severus instructed coming up behind him with his bandana. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity Harry had unwittingly given him by tying his bandana the previous evening. Severus took it daringly slow. Reaching a hand up into Harry's hair and drawing it back, section by section. When he thought he couldn't make it go on any longer, Severus tied the bandana round Harry's forehead taking care to cover the entire scar. "There, you don't have to keep asking me if you've covered it all." Severus said, 'feeble excuse' his conscious remonstrated.

Within two weeks Severus and Harry reached Stirling. They weren't rushing now, they had been on the road since the middle of July and it was now near the end of October. Their sense of urgency to keep moving had diminished and they were making do with five miles of walking instead of ten, so far nothing unpleasant had caught up with them as a result. Severus dared to think that they weren't being followed or tracked but had successfully managed to disappear.

Harry now walked along side Severus all the time, most of the time they were walking Harry would read for them both and Severus had to keep a hold of his rucksack to steer him, he didn't then have to look where he was going. Severus had now made his mind up to tell Harry about his other secret but was trying to build up the courage to go through with it. There had been numerous occasions when Severus had woken up to find that Harry had snuggled up to him in the night. They healed each other now and did each other's hair with no fuss at all, it had to be time; they were at least the best of friends even if it had occurred due to complete isolation from any other option.

They were walking along a park area below the magnificent Stirling Castle. Severus looked over to Harry who was still reading and saw him raise a hand to rub at his bandana, underneath which was the scar they were trying to hide.

"Are you all right?" Severus asked as Harry stopped reading and rubbed his forehead some more.

"Yes, it's just itchy." Harry replied then continued reading.

They carried on walking and Severus kept an eye on Harry to make sure he really was all right. Tonight, when they set up camp, he would ask him, tell him the secret and ask him, Severus thought. Without thinking about what he was doing, Severus reached out and took Harry's hand. Without looking up but with a slight pause in his reading Harry closed his hand around Severus' with a light squeeze. They continued to walk holding hands.

Severus looked up at the castle as they walked but suddenly he felt a tug on his hand and Harry had stopped reading. The castle forgotten, Severus turned back to Harry to find the book Harry was still holding pressed up against his forehead his face twisted in pain. He still held Severus' hand and his grip tightened so much it nearly made Severus cry out.

Harry looked up briefly at Severus with a look of panic in his eyes before being gripped by another wave of pain. Severus realised what was probably happening and took the book off him with his free hand.

"Sit down, here on the grass, we'll just sit down till it passes." Severus suggested.

Harry pulled his hand away from his face and he clenched Severus' arm to steady himself as another wave of pain hit and he tried desperately hard not to cry out. They sank to the ground, Severus gathering Harry to him so he had something to lean on.

"Vision?" Severus asked.

"Not yet." Harry managed to reply.

Waves upon waves of pain coursed through Harry's scar and it seemed like all they could do was sit it out. Severus had his arm tightly round Harry holding him close, watching the people around them for signs that they might interfere. The stupid Muggles couldn't get away fast enough though, Severus quickly realised, and it was just as well they didn't actually want their help.

Harry's breath quickened and his head had gone limp in Severus' arms, his limbs began to twitch as if in a fit.

"No…no…." Harry muttered over and over. He was unresponsive to verbal stimulation now, Severus found himself rocking Harry and mumbling soothing nonsense to him at a loss as to what to do instead.

Harry started to cry and clawed at his scar, still muttering incoherently, but Severus held him firmly. Tears came down Harry's face as he moved his head backwards and forwards lost in whatever the vision was torturing him with. Harry limbs started to thrash more wildly and Severus quickly checked to make sure that nobody was taking an interest before cradling Harry in his arms and embracing him firmly.

After what seemed like forever Harry eventually lay still. He was becoming heavy to hold, especially since he still had the rucksack on his back.

"Harry?" Severus said trying to rouse him. They couldn't stay sat on cold wet ground for much longer and it was getting cold. Harry appeared to be completely unconscious, there was nothing Severus could do but wait. If they hadn't had the rucksacks he would probably have been able to carry Harry but it was impossible.

It had been getting late in the afternoon anyway, the number of people in their near vicinity had been low, but soon there was nobody within sight. The light was fading and Severus' arms were aching as he willed Harry to wake up soon.

Severus was thinking that he was going to have to try to carry Harry anyway when he felt him move in his arms. At first he was dazed and confused but within a few minutes Severus found Harry looking up at him, a bit puzzled. Severus almost smiled with relief.

"It's dark." Harry said in a slightly slurred voice.

"Well done, Potter. Your powers of observation astound me." Severus said hoping Harry would rise to his bait rather than become embarrassed at the position they found themselves in. Severus was surprised to find that Harry didn't try to get up, or say anything, even though he must realise that Severus the dungeon monster was cradling him like a baby.

"Can you stand?" Severus asked. "We need to find somewhere to rest."

"Sorry." Harry said still lying in Severus' embrace.

"Sorry for what?" Severus asked quite amazed still at Harry's complete lack of self worth.

"Collapsing on you, it came so suddenly."

"Shut up Harry, just try to stand." Severus said realising too late that he probably sounded snappier than he had intended. Harry had given him quite a fright and he couldn't quite shake his nerves.

Severus pulled Harry to his feet and although he was unsteady they managed to start walking with Harry's arm wrapped round Severus' waist.

They would have to walk for a mile at least and Harry just wasn't up to it, Severus thought as they passed a very inviting bed and breakfast. Well he had been planning to treat Harry soon anyway and if there was ever a night they needed a nice warm bed it was this one.

"Stand up straight and try to look awake." Severus instructed Harry as they approached the entrance.

The landlady of their current establishment wasn't quite as weird as the last one had been and when Severus asked for a twin room she pressed a key into Severus' hand and informed him that they only had a double left, she hoped that would be all right. Then she winked, which was a little bit weird, Severus thought. Harry still clung to his waist, but Severus was glad to see he had avoided causing suspicion by successfully appearing to be perfectly alert.

When they got behind the closed door of their room, however, Harry collapsed on the bed looking thoroughly exhausted. Severus lay down beside him. He noted that even with his best efforts to obtain two beds, fate had flung them together again beneath the same sheets for the night.

"I need to know what happened in the vision, then you can go to sleep." Severus said wishing that he didn't need to ask.

"Oh," Harry replied formulating his thoughts into a coherent story. "It was a family from our world though I didn't recognise them, they were all killed by the Dark Lord's followers as the Dark Lord himself stood by watching. It'll take more than that to make me come running." Harry ended bravely.

"I could teach you again, block the visions." Severus offered.

Harry tensed, "I don't think so."

"It won't be like before." Severus persuaded.

"I've been learning to block his access to me instead, Dumbledore was teaching me. I can keep the visions." Harry replied, "They won't see where we are that way."

"I was thinking of you." Severus countered. "I am concerned for the effect that they're going to have on you."

Harry shrugged his shoulders in resignation, "It's the only contact we have with our world. I need to see what's happening, we need to know."

Severus couldn't argue with that grim reality. "Well that will do for now, let's take full advantage of our lodging." He suggested sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"It's so hot." Harry commented.

"Take off a few of your coats then." Severus said feeling quite amused; the vision seemed to have mushed up Harry's brain a little.

"Oh." Harry replied, "I suppose I must be getting used to sleeping rough."

They sat on opposite sides of the bed facing away from each other as they tentatively peeled a few layers of clothing off. Even though they had been so close for a lot of the time they certainly had never undressed together. Severus waited till Harry climbed in underneath the covers before he turned to get in too. He found Harry respectfully turned away, lying on his side with his eyes closed.

Severus turned away from Harry too, there were no excuses he could think of for snuggling up together and the mattress was a good one so there wasn't even any accidental rolling to consider. He had to tell Harry his secret now, now the visions had started. It could only mean they were running out of time and it might take the power of the Kin to help Harry cope with the visions that would soon now follow. He would tell him when they next set up camp in the cover of darkness; they could not risk being seen with the swords.

'_Severus came up behind Harry and wrapped his arms round him placing his hands on the large round bulge that was his belly. They were both wearing robes like Severus had worn as schoolmaster; only Harry's clothes were larger to accommodate his size._

"_Can you feel it?" Harry asked nestling his head back on Severus' shoulder._

"_Yes." Severus replied kissing Harry's neck, "Not long to go now."_

"_Now I will have a family at last." Harry said to Severus, turning so he could hug him back and kiss those tender lips…'_

Harry woke up trembling and sat up in the bed "What the…?" He gasped to himself. "Bloody hell!"

Harry tried to control his breathing; fortunately Severus was still asleep lying next to him. Harry looked at Severus, his face lit by the streetlights outside shining through the open curtains they hadn't bothered to draw. The memory of Severus' hands resting on him came into his mind, of him using his healing power to sense something else there, a life. Harry flopped down on the pillow lying on his back. Any more weird dreams like that and his life would start to seem sensible, Harry thought. He turned over onto his side and shut his eyes tight, willing sleep to happen again, it took a while.

'_Harry was standing in the Headmaster's office by one of the bookcases, reading one of the books and Severus came through the door wearing his school robes and his stern Professor expression as Harry looked up. A small girl with dark ringlet hair, about four years old and wearing a pretty velvet dress, ran from Harry's side and as she approached Professor Snape he bent down and scooped her up in his arms. The girl giggled and he twirled her round till she shrieked with joy and a smile played upon Severus' face.'_

Harry pulled himself up from the bed feeling thoroughly exhausted, "One night in a comfortable bed and I can't even have that can I?"

"Huh?" Severus enquired still half asleep.

"Nothing just weird dreams."

"Dreams? Sure?"

"Yes, just stupid weird dreams." Harry confirmed falling to the pillow again.

Severus turned over and Harry reached a hand up to rub his scar and succeeded in only making it more itchy, or else… "Shit."

"What?" Severus asked turning to face Harry.

"Scar is itchy." Harry stated.

"Do you think they know we have a mattress tonight?" Severus said sighing.

"I usually scratch my forehead to bits and that didn't happen with you there, whatever you did can you do it again?" Harry asked.

"Yes, of course." Severus said as Harry curled up and pressed his hands to his forehead as the pain began.

Severus sat up against the headboard, "Lie across my lap and let me hold your arms." Severus said.

In between waves of pain Harry managed to shuffle over to Severus and do as he asked.

Once the pain subsided Severus noted that Harry's reaction to the vision hadn't been as violent though it had been a lot longer before Harry eventually lay still in Severus' arms. Severus pulled the bed covers up over both of them ensuring their warmth.

Severus held Harry close to him, when he eventually started to come round again it was a lot more slowly than before. He lay still in Severus' arms and the only favourable indication was that Harry had moved his head to the side a little and swallowed.

Severus was relieved to see Harry coming out of the fit once more, he wondered if he was ever going to get used to it. Feelings of tenderness washed over him as he looked down at Harry lying in his arms, seemingly so peaceful now.

"You're safe now." Severus whispered rather pointlessly. He was so close; Severus' lips closed the last few inches and lightly brushed with Harry's. Harry's mouth parted slightly, to Severus' irrational brain, it seemed like an invitation. He leant down and made their next brief contact most definitely a kiss but still very light. Harry sighed and his lips parted a fraction more. Severus leant down again to deepen the kiss and was pleasantly surprised when Harry, still lying otherwise limply in his arms, responded by letting him do so, accepting and returning the kiss. Severus took him into another kiss, stroking Harry's back with his hand, it lasted a few minutes but seemed like five seconds as soon as it had ended. Harry was beginning to move more and Severus couldn't risk another kiss and so began being annoyed with himself without further delay. What did he think he was doing anyway, Severus thought, it could hardly be described as necessary comfort, in such a situation as theirs? In their very tenuous situation, how could he risk such lunacy? He needed to keep Harry with him through the visions, not scare him off; just as well he was virtually unconscious.

When Severus looked down again, Harry had pulled himself round to consciousness, no trace of their recent intimacy showing in his expression, he was looking up at Severus.

"What was it this time?" Severus asked noticing that Harry didn't really look upset, just a little dazed.

"The Durlseys." Harry replied shrugging his shoulders. "He really will have to do better than THAT."

Severus was curious at Harry's complete lack of emotion for them. He knew about the abuse, but surely the boy would still feel something. Maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet, Severus thought.

Severus had bought another bottle of whiskey and he thought now was as good a time as any. He offered Harry some in a glass, which he had found in their room.

"It might help you sleep." Severus told him.

The next morning they enjoyed a full breakfast in the bed and breakfast which was huge beyond belief. Harry ate like he hadn't seen decent food in weeks and it unfortunately wasn't far from the truth. Apart from that, Severus thought, all was not right. He had expected Harry to be upset but after all they had experienced together on their trip he hadn't expected Harry to withdraw. Apart from Harry's ferocious appetite it was almost like their first day. Harry wouldn't look at Severus; when he spoke to him he got one-word answers, the ultimate in economy. Harry didn't make any attempt to speak to him but sat silently stuffing himself with everything he could get his hands on.

Severus couldn't think of his stolen kiss without linking it to the change in Harry. He could have argued that it was grief from the visions causing Harry's change in mood but he couldn't ignore the look in Harry's eyes and the meticulous way that he was avoiding him. It all pointed to a problem of a more personal nature that existed solely between them.

They started walking out of Stirling as soon as they had finished breakfast and Severus had paid the bill. Harry still felt very tired but he couldn't wait to get out into the fresh air, even though it was bitterly cold. There was no wind to speak of but the ground was frozen solid, the grass crunched underfoot as they walked. Harry had fastened the buttons on all his coats and had buried his hands in his pockets. He found himself walking in front of Severus and didn't even attempt to read, he would get his hand cold and he wouldn't be able to warm it up again.

Harry didn't want to look at Severus, it was strange to have all these thoughts going round his head and have the object of the ridiculous fantasies walking beside him. After the most bizarre night of his life, all Harry could think about were the weird dream scenarios involving himself and Severus, and how good the happy ones had felt. Not that he wanted anything like what they had shown him, what he wanted was the feeling of contentment and safety, how it had all felt to him, they hadn't been wandering the wilderness any longer, they had had a home and had been together. Coupled with the knowledge of the Dursleys deaths he thought his head was going to explode. He hoped Severus was in an understanding mood and would dismiss his demeanour as grief, after all, he couldn't possibly know how much he didn't feel or why, or how much he felt about the dreams. The last dream after the Dursley's vision had been the worst and that was after the whiskey. He didn't want the image of that one in his head at all. Harry had been lying on a bed with Severus and he had been hugging Severus' head to his chest, as he lay drenched in sweat and screaming in pain with only Harry to sooth him. Harry couldn't tell if the dreams were supposed to be telling him something or were part of the Dark Lord's plan to drive him completely insane. They were certainly causing some embarrassment. The memory of the kiss came back to him again; it was more vivid than the rest of the dreams, almost like a vision in intensity, but it had been a dream he was sure. Harry wouldn't mind a real life repeat of that one but he would have liked to get the memory of the last one out of his head, Severus had been dying in his arms and he hadn't looked any older.

Severus had been planning on telling Harry his secret but now he wasn't sure that it was a good idea. The fact still remained, however, that he must, the visions changed everything for them. The last few months would soon feel like a game by comparison.


	9. Crimson Serpents

Chapter Nine 

In Chapter Nine - Here it is, the time for Severus' delaying is over. Sev spills his secret and Harry gets a little surprise. Also, some insight into Sev's history, in the coming chapters I am going to be filling in the events between the Pensieve scene, which Harry witnesses in Ootp and the Snape that Harry first meets when he is eleven, going some way to explain Sev's behaviour in my AU. The revelation of the extent of what happened should coincide with the final battle chapter.

Harry and Severus will have some spare time in amongst all the visions and angst so if there is anything you would like to see let me know, if it fits in with the storyline I'll write it in. I am setting a slow progression pace for the slash, as it fits with the angst, but there will be action at their current level and the full works later on.

Warning: Sort of MPREG, apparently,even though nobody is getting pregnant. Fertlilty issues, no gory details, Sev is too squicked to talk about it. Then the story will progress as before, references to possibilities of MPREG in later chapters.

Please review loads and loads, I got this chapter ready double quick, because of all of the wonderful interest from you all, hope you enjoy it :)

Chapter Nine - Crimson Serpents 

Severus led them into a wood somewhere to the east of Dunblane, and as soon as they were away from the road he lit his wand tip. Harry dragged himself away from his thoughts and broke his silence. "Why are we going in here? It's creepy." Harry complained. Apart from the light from the wand there was no way of seeing where they were going despite the clear sky and the moonlight.

Severus was just glad to be spoken to, "I need us to be very secluded tonight." He had begun to think there was something more serious going on instead of Harry just wanting some time to think. He had been so withdrawn all day. Severus wished that he could persuade Harry to turn to him during these times instead of turning away. Although he was a bit of a hypocrite for expecting that of Harry since he understood the tendency to turn away from comfort only too well.

"May I ask why we need to be secluded?" Harry asked his curiosity ignited.

"You may." Severus replied. "And I'll tell you after we've eaten."

Harry sighed in mild irritation and continued following Severus, starting to become very curious as to what he was up to. It must be something big, Harry thought, Severus looked, for want of a better word, a bit jumpy. If it had been anybody else he might have said he was extremely nervous about something. But this was Snape, right? Professor Severus Snape didn't do nervous. Harry sighed to himself, but what about Severus, what about the man who lay beneath the mask?

Eventually they found a clearing and Severus set the stove up for their meal. Harry started to unpack their tent as per usual but Severus asked him to leave it. They would put it up later, for some strange reason yet to be revealed.

Harry sat watching Severus at work with the stove and felt wretched from the silence he had created, once started it was proving infinitely hard to break, Harry couldn't think of a thing to say which wouldn't sound stupid. He wanted nothing more than to be close and friendly once again. He considered trying to fake a vision, but since he was fairly unaware of Severus' perspective during an attack, he was ill equipped to be convincing. It was grossly unfair anyway and if he did have a vision no doubt Severus would put off whatever he was planning anyway.

"Brr, it's cold tonight." Harry said cursing himself for his stupidity even as he said it, it was a pathetic ruse and it wouldn't work. He couldn't believe how pathetic he had become around this man. Without waiting for Severus' response, which he didn't expect to be positive, Harry shuffled over to sit beside him. To Harry's surprise Severus didn't even twitch an eyebrow but reached over for the blanket they had just bought and wrapped it around both their shoulders.

"Are you all right now?" Severus asked. "I mean, of course you're not all right but…"

"A bit better now." Harry answered knowing it was pointless and insulting to try and deny anything.

"I thought you would need some time today." Severus continued in his efforts to draw Harry out.

"I did." Harry said feeling something approaching peace; Severus had only stayed away from him as long as he thought Harry wanted it.

"When people we care for die it is bad enough, but what do we do when we didn't care for them? Try to feel something that we don't, to defend ourselves against criticism? You will get no censure from me, whatever you feel." Severus said insightfully, handing Harry his food, they ate quickly from hunger.

"They were family, the only family I had, but all I have is emptiness. I didn't want them dead but I can't feel sad. I would have been quite content with never seeing them again." Harry replied feeling for once in his life as if he could talk a little about the Dursleys. Maybe it was the intimacy of the dark, most likely it was because it was Severus.

"You look sad." Severus said gently reaching an arm round Harry's shoulders beneath the blanket, hugging him in close.

"There were other things going on last night. I think it is that, I'm not sure. Feels more like it's that." Harry started to explain.

"The weird dreams?"

"Yes." Harry said suddenly feeling the sadness welling up inside him, irrationally, not for the deaths but for the dreams. He didn't understand it, he felt that he would cry if he had to speak again, he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, drawing his knees up to his chin and turning his head away from Severus but leaning into his warmth.

"What happened? Where they prophetic in any way?" Severus asked.

Harry laughed bitterly. "No, they weren't prophetic, definitely not." He said, more to try to convince himself than Severus.

"What did they show you?" Severus asked realising how deeply they were affecting Harry, for some reason.

Harry felt the tears come to his eyes and stream down his face as his chest tightened. He felt Severus' arm holding him more firmly but it only made the flood of emotion more intense. "Happiness." Harry managed say, the tears were unstoppable and he didn't really understand why; he couldn't bear to say much more, he hadn't wanted to tell Severus all the ridiculous details anyway. "It felt like happiness." Feeling that he was already making a big enough fool of himself, Harry shifted his position to where he really wanted to be and Severus, without hesitation, gathered Harry into his arms as Harry came to him and held him tight against his chest, rocking him gently as he stroked his back.

"Are we still friends then?" Severus asked as Harry began to calm.

Harry couldn't help laughing a little as he remained snuggled against Severus' chest.

"Try not to hide away from me." Severus said gently. "You don't have to say anything, just come to me and I will help, if I can."

"Who died that you didn't care about?" Harry asked.

"See if you can guess." Severus teased not sure he wanted to get onto that topic, it was too late however, he couldn't fob Harry off with lies.

"Well you hated my father and he's dead." Harry said.

Severus groaned inside, he had expected Harry to be a bit less perceptive than that, had been relying on it. "Yes." Severus admitted, wishing he had never started. "And he saved my life, apparently, though I was in no state to know about it."

"You felt nothing when he was killed?" Harry asked, verging dangerously towards accusation.

Severus berated himself for not having chosen something safer to talk about. He was going to have to be very careful. "Harry, what you saw in the Pensieve, it didn't start that day and it didn't end there either. I saw little of your father after I left school, that's all I remember of him. We met briefly when he came to see Albus and I was present, but when he died, that was all I remembered."

"But you were expected to be upset?" Harry asked.

"Well, by that point, I was the Death Eater who got away with it, and probably only alive because Albus guarded me. Not that many people at that point knew my true role, that I had been spying for the Order at the end, not working against it." Severus said sighing. "To everyone else your father was a hero, the outpouring of grief following his death was overwhelming, people who had never even met him, wandering the corridors of the castle crying. I felt nothing and with every accusatory stare, I felt as if it condemned me. I could not pretend, not with that."

Harry had tensed a little and wasn't looking up at Severus, but he hadn't moved away from him either. "Well at least nobody will be calling my Uncle Dursley a hero." Harry commented.

"Do you mind if we get something to eat now?" Severus asked, thinking that if they continued on their current topic, they might get much closer to the truth than Severus could cope with.

"I would be very upset if you died." Harry said suddenly, turning his face away, hardly believing he had actually said it.

"I would be upset if you did." Severus replied. "However would I keep warm at night?"

Harry got up from Severus' lap and turned, he hit him on the shoulder with the back of his hand. "Git." Harry accused, "I was being serious."

Harry looked into Severus' eyes and Severus took hold of Harry's hand and held it tightly, smiling a little to show the truth.

"Oh." Harry said realising what had just passed between them.

After they had eaten and sounding beyond just nervous, Severus suddenly took the blanket away and spoke. "I have something I need to show you, I have waited long enough, I must show you, follow me." He said, the decision made, determined to get it over with. He would show Harry what he needed to show him and then he would ask. He had to do it and quickly before he lost his nerve.

Harry stood up and Severus got to his feet and led Harry to a tree trunk that was turned on its side. They sat on the tree trunk with the darkness upon them, moonlight their only source of light. All their things were piled up in one big heap. Severus reached inside his rucksack and started to pull out what looked at first like a letter opener but which expanded out into a full size sword. He then pulled out an identical one and laid them both on his lap.

"Wow." Harry said, observing the intricate metal work on the hilt of both swords, the detail of the serpents.

"These are a pair of Bichun Kin swords. On their own they are little more than ordinary swords, in the hands of someone who knows how to weald one and holds the Kin Bond, they can transmit large amounts of power. When I hold this weapon I have a powerful wand and a lethal blade but without a Kin Bond the power is weaker than it could be, a lot weaker. There is a special way of wielding it, to give its best effect, unique spells that harness its powers as well as the usual ones. The owner may draw on its power to jump and turn at amazing heights."

"You want to train me how to use one of these?" Harry asked.

"Yes and no." Severus said feeling beyond nervous still, scared in fact. "The greatest power lies in the fact that each sword always has a brother and if two people who are Kin with each other wield them together the power can be quite breathtaking, devastating to an enemy."

"But not just any two people then, it must be a relative?"

"Not quite." Severus tried to explain. "The Bond is not forged with blood but with genuine and deep regard. The kinship must be true; the swords can see it. It's a similar concept to the kinship bond you had with your mother and therefore the Dursleys, except that one WAS a blood connection, there was no need for them to actually like you."

"Just as well." Harry added bitterly. "Who did the other one belong to?" Harry asked.

"My brother, until he was killed on a mission." Severus answered.

"A mission for us or them?"

"For the Death Eaters, Harry. It was when we were both Death Eaters." Severus said feeling the all-familiar shame burning his heart. "The Bond can only be broken by the death of one of the pair." Severus continued. "The power is only as strong as the strength of the Kin Bond between them. When my brother died, the power was lost and I never found anybody else who was worthy, never had the heart to look. Not that Albus would have allowed it to happen, I don't think." Severus added, steering the conversation back to the topic.

"Why are you telling me this, if I can't use one?" Harry asked.

"Well, I think Albus would approve of my using them now, I think perhaps, that he might have intended it to happen. These swords could provide us both with fighting power, which could be what we need to help in the war with the Dark Lord. Our friendship could help form the Kin Bond; provide the united strength. With the right training we could fight together, complementing each other in battle. While we both held our swords neither could harm the other, no matter what curses or blows were wielded from them. I need to ask you if you will form a Kin Bond with me, before we can use them together."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Harry asked with burning curiosity.

"If you had known, you would have tried too hard and our friendship would have been hindered by the pressure, not helped. It's not an easy choice either, to take the sword places you in the Kin Bond with me until death, and unlike a brother or other family member, where a blood bond exists also, you must remain at my side to maintain the power, we must live in proximity. You don't have to make your mind up today, this week or ever if you don't want to. If you accept the Kin Bond, it also means that you will be unable to kill me to save our secrets, for the power to remain I must live. You see why the bond must be strong, so we are strong enough."

"Will you ever stop going on about me killing you? I can't and I won't." Harry insisted.

Harry looked at Severus and thought of the kiss and how the love had surged through him then and every time he thought about it. Even if it was only a dream, it was real for him.

"What if the regard is unequal?" Harry asked knowing what he must do.

"The power is the sum." Severus replied.

"Is there a weird initiation ceremony?"

"No," Severus said, "You just have to pick up the sword and it will choose you, or not, as it wishes. The sword knows what lies between us."

"Show me, enough talking, show me what can be done with the sword, but without the Kin power." Harry commanded.

Severus placed one of the swords on the tree trunk beside Harry and took the other one in his hands. Metallic snakes wound round Severus' hand holding his grip; nobody could ever summon it from him. Severus made a few fighting moves then jumped up and spun in the air landing again on his feet without effort and in a starting pose the sword displayed before him. If Harry had been an enemy, he would have been very worried at the sight, the glint in Severus' eye and his whole demeanour said, 'I want to kill'. His clothes and coat swished with him as he moved, creating a swordsman's ballet, Harry watched in awe at the lethal gracefulness of Severus as he rose a few feet off the ground as he wielded the sword. He watched in fascination as Severus took off a branch from a tree with a ball of fire from the tip of the blade.

Harry had already made his mind up; to him there was no choice to be made. He had sent Severus away so he could do it, no more talking. Brother, friend, whatever, he was already irretrievably bound to Severus in ways that could never be severed. No other person lived for him; he was his world, only when he was by his side, did he feel any kind of peace. And love, Harry thought, no, knew, that it was love, for him at least.

"You are mine, as I am yours, forever." Harry whispered to himself as Severus continued his demonstration. Harry took the sword up in his hand and held it by the hilt. The sword responded to his touch, the shimmering serpents glowing crimson as they wound round his arm. He could feel the power of their Kin Bond flowing through him, flowing through the sword. For the first time in his life he thought they might be able to fight back the darkness after all.

"Something I didn't have before." Harry said smiling to himself and looking proudly at Severus, his new Kin.

"Tannio ennyn!" Severus called pointing his sword at a large and ancient tree, presumably not noticing that his sword glowed crimson now too, too absorbed in his activities to have noticed the Bond.

The explosion knocked Harry backwards over the back of the log; the noise of the bang was enough to make his ears ring. There was fire everywhere, burning embers flying through the air like darts. The whole tree collapsed and exploded and then exploded again until all there was left was a crumbly ruin of charcoal.

Severus had been blown back by the blast too and he was surprised to find that he only felt a little bit sore. He scrambled to his feet as best he could.

"Harry!" Severus called in desperation as he noticed the completely destroyed tree and the unoccupied tree trunk.

"Over here." Harry called as he tried to disentangle himself from the roots he had got twisted round in the undergrowth. Severus helped to pull him up and immediately pulled him into a tight embrace that nearly squeezed the life out of him.

"Hey, leave a bit of me for the Dark Lord." Harry joked. He sobered when he saw the distraught look on Severus' face. "I'm all right." He added holding up his sword arm.

Severus' face turned a sickly shade of white and he looked as if he might pass out, he stared at the sword, now at one with Harry's arm.

"I have never seen anything so…you?…I…oh." Severus mumbled.

"I did it," Harry said feeling pleased with himself. "You can start training me tomorrow."

Severus continued to stare at him, and then he looked down at his own sword, then back at Harry.

"I hadn't finished explaining everything," Severus gasped.

"Well I had heard enough," Harry replied smiling proudly at Severus.

Severus suddenly pulled Harry back into another embrace but not so roughly. Harry allowed himself to lean into the hold, feeling what he thought was warmth and tenderness. Severus' cheek rested in his hair, Harry wrapped his arms round his new Kin.

"I feared you only wanted me as your friend because we were alone with nothing else." Severus spoke to Harry with barely checked emotion. "I could only hope that my part would be enough."

"Seems the sword knows more about it than either of us." Harry replied prolonging the embrace.

Severus showed Harry how to make the sword let go of his arm. It stayed a glowing red colour to show the existence of their Bond and Harry put it away in his rucksack watching with fascination as it shrank to the size of a paper knife as he did so.

Harry erected their tent while Severus started making them a hot drink to have before bed, having that afternoon discovered the joys of instant Horlicks sachets and bottled water. It was a bitterly cold night and the wind was hitting them hard despite the supposed shelter of the trees. Harry wrapped himself as well as he could in his three coats and rubbed his hands together.

When Severus handed him his drink Harry cupped his hands around the bowl to warm them first then drank when he could feel the tips of his fingers again.

"Oh, it's so cold tonight, brr." Harry said glancing up at Severus who was still drinking his Horlicks.

"You do not need to complain how cold it is, using it as an excuse to sit close to me." Severus said in what Harry recognised as mock irritation. "We are Kin now after all."

Harry didn't waste any time trying to defend his intentions and moved up closer to Severus. Severus rearranged their coats and wrapped the blanket around both their shoulders. Harry felt a hand go round his waist as he was pulled in close. He found that Severus was shivering as much as he was.

"Was the Kin as powerful as it was with your brother?" Harry asked not sure he wanted the answer.

"Yes, it was." Severus answered not elaborating further; hardly daring to think of the only explanation that was possible, the only way the Bond could be as it was.

They went back inside the tent as soon as the stove had cooled enough to be left.

Later that night Harry woke. At first he didn't know why, but then it happened again and he recalled the feeling occurring as he had woken. A strange tickling sensation swirled deep within his lower abdomen as if he had two snakes writhing around in there; he hoped that wasn't what it really was. Harry hoped it would stop soon, it wasn't painful as such, just achy and not particularly explainable. He was putting off having to wake Severus for what was probably something to do with what they had been eating. He decided he would have to, however, when a prolonged minute or so of wriggling turned to gripping and intense pain deep within him and it didn't want to stop.

Harry reached out a hand to Severus' shoulder and shook till he got a sleepy response from his companion. First of all Severus looked unhappy at being disturbed, then as sense prevailed he abruptly sat up, "What's the matter, did you hear something?" He asked.

Severus reached inside his coat for his wand and gave them some light. It was then that he encountered Harry's pale and pained expression peering up at him from a body curled up in a foetal position.

"I have pain, but it's really weird, I don't know what it is." Harry said expecting Severus to be annoyed or at the very least, a bit puzzled.

Severus turned as white as the shirt he was wearing and Harry could see the look in his eyes.

"What!? Tell me." Harry demanded, dread sinking through his body, Severus knew what it was and Harry could tell it wasn't good.

"I forgot." Severus said still staring at Harry, shaking his head slightly. "You wanted me to show you and I did, you took up the sword, I should have told you before that, but I didn't have time. You took up the sword and I was too awed by it, I forgot that it would happen. I can't believe that I forgot."

"Forgot what?" Harry asked starting to get very worried as the pain was still there, though not so intense. Severus wasn't making any sense; it just wasn't like him to babble.

"The thing, the thing to do with the Kin Bond."

"Severus, I am in pain here and I would like you to tell me why, RIGHT NOW!" Harry demanded.

"With a Kin Bond you wouldn't be expected to form a bond with anybody else, yet the line of powerful wizards must be maintained, cannot be lost by such a thing. It was the same when I made the Kin with my brother. Though I was too badly injured to notice when it happened, when he gave me the sword I was barely conscious, it was just there when I became well. I never used it before he died."

"Severus!" Harry warned again.

Severus swallowed and looked into Harry's pleading eyes. "Don't worry, the pain will pass soon, then you can kill me for not telling you sooner." Severus paused, cringing inside. "You now have the capacity to bear a child."

"So I'm not dying then?" Harry snapped at Severus.

"No."

"Well couldn't you have just said so? That was what I thought was happening."

"Sorry." Severus offered, then waited for the information he had given Harry to sink in.

Over the next few minutes the pain subsided leaving only a vague tickly feeling. Harry uncurled slightly and felt able to breath again though he still felt different somehow.

"Bear a child? You said I could bear a child? That was what you said wasn't it?" Harry asked as he remembered.

"Yes." Severus replied, "The youngest of the Kin can."

"And the pain and everything, was what exactly?"

"Growth, sudden magical growth." Severus replied steering away from having to spell out the gory details.

"Of…of…hmm…right." Harry replied figuring it out for himself.

"You don't have to use it." Severus added. "I would never expect you to."

Harry curled back down into the sleeping bag as if to go back to sleep. "Was your brother older than you?" Harry asked, curious.

Severus lay down next to Harry. "Yes."

"So you have…? All this time…?"

"Since I was seventeen or so." Severus answered.

"And you never…used it?"

"No, I never did. I was only compatible with my Kin anyway."

"Your own brother?" Harry asked in amazement.

"I know, I know, probably wouldn't have happened even if he had lived." Severus said feeling very strange about talking about this with anybody. Albus had always known about the details of the Kin Bond with his brother, so they had never talked about it and he had been the only other who had known at the school. Anybody who bothered to research Bichun Swords in the restricted section of the school library could have found out all about it, but nobody had ever been that interested in the truth about Severus. Soon, nobody even remembered there had been a Bond at all, his whole reason for coming to the castle, to defend the loss of it.

"So, I am only compatible with you?" Harry asked looking a bit dazed.

Severus broke away from the thoughts he had drifted into. "Yes, though I don't know whether it goes the other way round or whether I am still linked to my brother, in spite of the fact he is dead and I have my new Kin. I am fairly certain I won't be, it is always the youngest that, you know… I have never read of it happening differently. Not that it matters." Severus added trying to judge Harry's reaction. "We're hardly in a position to be considering such things, living as we are. I just wanted you to know the whole situation, in apology for the way you found out."

Well, it didn't matter really, Harry thought, Severus was right, it wasn't as if they were going to use it. The memory of the dream came suddenly to Harry's mind and he pushed it away. Then something more amusing occurred to him. "Now I know why you were so grouchy, all this time you had…" Harry said.

"Shut up, Potter." Severus said a little snappily, but out of the embarrassment Harry had set out to provoke, not anger.

"No, I won't." Harry replied, "You owe me the right to torment you now." Harry added turning on his side and not saying anything further anyway. Harry tried to comfort himself with the fact that Severus had been very keen to point out that Harry didn't have to use at least one of his new abilities. Well, if HE doesn't want to, Harry thought, it's not going to be much of a problem.

Harry lay awake with his eyes shut, thinking. Thinking about the dreams and the strange coincidences that he didn't believe in. There was the book getting chosen by Severus, the voice in his head when he slept encouraging him to get close to Sev, the crystal ball rolling out of the rucksack just at that critical moment when Sev had insisted he had packed it away, the dream about being pregnant right before he was offered the sword. Something, no, somebody was helping them along.

'Alexian?' Harry thought. 'I can hear you; I know you're there. Who are you?' There was no answer that night.

Severus was awake long after Harry fell asleep wondering why he hadn't been as shocked as Severus thought he would be, or as disgusted. Maybe there was no shocking Harry any more, Severus considered. When you believed you were as good as dead, what was the point? It had been different when it had happened to him all those years ago, Severus remembered as he tried to settle back to sleep.

Character's Note: Harry and Severus Snape would like to announce that they will be far too busy defeating evil in the foreseeable future and can not at present contemplate anything to do with the enhancement of the wizarding population. However, should the Dark Lord be defeated...then...maybe...

Author's Note: Thanks again for all your reviews, some of the things you have mentioned will feature in coming chapters.

A note on MPREG, although I don't want to give anything away plotwise, if you don't like MPREG you should still be OK with this, since it is in fact more like Mfertility/angst, no preg, very briefly.IN THE CHAPTERS FOLLOWING THIS ONE THEIR 'ABILITY' WILL ONLY BE REFERRED TO BRIEFLY, NO GORY DETAILS. This is why I have not rated as MPREG from the beginning (though I have now changed the ch1 page to mention it).The sequel WILL be mpreg, but that's QUITE a while in the future. Hey, it worked as a surprise though didn't it:) :) hee hee.


	10. Crying On The Wind

Author's Note: This one is dedicated to everyone who was concerned about Harry and Sev's personal hygiene, I managed to turn it into a yummy moment, also the matter of owls, whiskey, France and Severus' shopping. Bi sobarra is gaelic for 'be sober'. 

Personal notes to reviewers at the end of this chapter.

Warning: mushy bit in the middle (yes, Harry and Sev are progressing in their relationship, kissies and cuddles), cliffy ending, hee hee.I am rating MPREG now, apparently, even though nobody gets pregnant, because of a few mentions of fertility and the possibility of an MPREG sequel should I be able to resist from killing everybody in THIS story. Q: Who is more evil than the Dark Lord? A: I am! And I think it is about time somebody DIED.:) :) :)

In the coming few weeks:

Chapter Eleven: Aftermath of a vision. Shopping and a new bed.A surprise but not like the last one. Mushy bits.

Chapter Twelve: We join Harry and Sev on a sword training session to explain all that stuff and get some magic into this thing.

Character's Note: Harry and Severus Snape would like to announce that they will be far too busy defeating evil in the foreseeable future and can not at present contemplate anything to do with the enhancement of the wizarding population. However, should the Dark Lord be defeated...then...maybe...

Chapter Ten - Crying On The Wind 

The next morning they set out on their travels again. Harry's head was filled with thoughts and he knew he was being a bit quiet. He couldn't help thinking about the Kin Bond and the life he could have if they prevailed over the Dark Lord. He would no longer be alone, he would have a family even if was just with Sev. Sev couldn't leave him. It was as if his mind had suddenly decided that his life wasn't measured in weeks after all. He made an effort to look up every now and then to connect with Severus briefly so he wouldn't worry about his silence.

For the first few hours after waking he was very conscious of how he moved, feeling as if the new part of him would twist or snap if he tested it too much. After a while he realised that it didn't feel different any more, the tickling had passed and it was a part of him as any other part was. Severus had given Harry a potion from the potion case, which would apparently mean he wouldn't notice any other difference at all for the duration of the mission. Harry didn't want to think about the forethought that would have been involved in packing such an item.

As they set off along the road, Severus held out a hand to Harry and he took it.

"Will you read today?" Severus asked and Harry took out the book and opened it at the page they were on, glad to return to their routine. Sev would warm his hand if it got cold, Harry thought.

They were heading north now through the mountains again and heading for Loch Earn, apparently. By lunchtime they had reached a town called Callander. They were going to be heading off along Loch Lubnaig and although they would pass through Stathyre, there wouldn't be too many shopping opportunities after that. Sev wanted them to head further into the mountains so that nobody would notice if they destroyed anything, not that there was much to destroy. Harry wondered if they were strong enough to blow up granite. Harry was to begin his training and although he had the power he didn't have the skill to use it. He also had to consider that he had hardly practised any magic since he had left school, lighting cigarettes and illuminating the tent didn't really count.

"Will you get some chocolate?" Harry asked Severus as he put his rucksack down beside Harry in preparation for going into the shop.

"Anything else?" Severus asked.

"No, just chocolate, big bar." Harry answered.

Harry watched Severus disappear into the shop, and then leant back against the wall he was stood in front of and tilted his head to the sky to watch the clouds. So much for stupid dreams about being huge, Harry thought, he was losing weight and he really needed to keep begging Sev for chocolate. Still, he hadn't lost as much weight as he would have done at the Dursleys, he didn't think so anyway. Harry smiled to himself, 'they can't do anything to me any more', he thought, then immediately felt guilty. He tried to concentrate on the clouds as they floated by, he didn't want to feel guilty; it just wasn't fair.

"FUCKING HIPPY!" A male voice yelled in Harry's ear making him jump. Laughter immediately erupted.

When Harry looked at his assailants there were five of them all gathered around him in a semi circle. The one that had shouted reached out and took hold of some his hair. "Urgh, disgusting. Stinky, little, hippy." The youth felt compelled to comment, spitting the words in Harry's face.

'Are these Death Eaters in disguise?' Harry immediately considered, though they looked too moronic to be anything other than Muggles. They were far too close and Harry could smell the stench of a lot of alcohol. There was only one person he wanted touching his hair, or anything else for that matter, and where was he anyway? Harry couldn't draw his wand, he could have made casserole meat out of them with his sword, but he couldn't draw that either. If they decided to instigate a brawl, it would be over in seconds. They weren't leaving. The youth who had a hold of Harry's hair leant in even nearer to him. "BOO!" he shouted and another bout of laughter erupted.

Harry suddenly heard the clunk of boots striding on pavement and the youths ran off down the street. Harry looked to his left to see what he knew they were running away from and found Severus approaching him with a face like thunder, Snape reborn in all his glory, for want of a better word. The look of it made Harry's insides scrunch up, even though somewhere inside his head he knew that it hadn't been resurrected to scare him.

Severus came to stand beside Harry as he started to feel a bit shaken by events.

"Why did that man have his hand on your hair?" Severus asked frowning and looking down the street after them as they continued to run away.

"He was trying to intimidate me, because of my appearance." Harry replied, really hoping Severus would soften all the way down into Sev sometime really soon.

"They are lucky they ran away, I really will not tolerate anybody touching my Kin." Severus announced.

Harry filled with warm fuzzy feelings despite Severus' tone, he was being fiercely possessive of him, it made Harry feel quite safe and all he wanted to do was hug him. Only Severus was still looking a bit scary.

"Did you get the chocolate?" Harry asked trying to break Severus' relapse.

"Yes." Severus said still stern with a glint in his eye. "Is this big enough for you?" He asked pulling the largest bar of chocolate Harry had ever seen out of the carrier bag he was holding.

Harry laughed.

"They appear to have the Christmas confectionary in stock, which amounts to the same thing but at least eight times as big." Severus commented. "Very strange."

"I am sure I will cope with the challenge admirably, but you may want to help me out." Harry said pulling their rucksacks off the ground.

Severus lifted his rucksack onto his back and Harry helped him get it positioned correctly then Severus returned the favour. Severus then handed a ration of chocolate to Harry and took his hand. "Come on, let us get out of here before I have to kill somebody."

"Severus?" Harry said as they walked along the road out of town.

"Yes?" Severus prompted pulling his mind away from what he had been thinking about.

"Do I smell horrible?" Harry asked.

Severus nearly laughed. "What?"

"They said I was stinky, do we not notice because we're together all the time?"

"Did you notice when you got dirty before, without anybody's help?"

"Good point." Harry conceded.

"You believed those drunks? Most likely they were the ones who smelled disgusting."

"Yes, they did actually." Harry agreed feeling a bit silly. "I just thought, it's been so long, even a potion wouldn't last so long."

"So you were paying attention after all." Severus commented referring to their former status as teacher and student. "Do I smell horrible?"

Harry was sure he blushed. "No." He tried to say as plainly as possible. 'Oh, not at all!' Harry thought.

"Albus's potions will last forever, very powerful wizard you know. I would have to brew a reversal to make you get dirty again."

"You didn't make them?" Harry asked, surprised.

"I knew as much about this mission the day before, as you did. I am not solely responsible for every decent potion in that castle you know."

"Hmm."

"He knew me well." Severus said with fondness. "I still get the smell of the soap I used to use every morning."

"I don't." Harry added. "I like it, but it's different."

'You sly old dog', Severus thought, he had suspected but hadn't known till Harry confirmed it. Albus had made Harry smell like he did on purpose, 'coincidence my arse', Severus added in his thoughts. Severus had recognised Harry's scent as soon as he had got on the train that first day in London. Not from previous memories of Harry, however, hardly. Severus hadn't even been aware that Albus had known and now he couldn't work out how he had. And those ridiculous little braids in Harry's hair, just like his brother's too.

They moved through the mountains and Severus continued to train Harry. He suffered no more visions after the Dursley's death but Harry could be sure that it was very far from over. It was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord tried something more inventive.

That evening Harry found that Severus had acquired wood from somewhere while he had been putting up the tent. Harry suspected sneaky wand usage, since there wasn't a tree in sight. He wasn't about to say anything about it since Severus was making them a fire to sit round. They would shield their backs against the wind and would actually be warm.

It wasn't long before the fire was glowing and the flames were dancing high. Severus produced some bread and used a knife to hold it to the glow of the embers to make toast.

"Do you have any contact?" Harry asked suddenly as the thought surfaced in his brain. It often had but he hadn't felt able to ask.

"No, I don't. The whole point of the mission was to make a complete disappearance."

"I just wondered if you had some sort of arrangement that I didn't know about." Harry pursued.

"Just the spell we will use to get the Order when the time comes and you know about that." Severus answered.

"We really are alone then?" Harry asked drawing his knees up to his chest.

Severus smiled grimly, his face illuminated in the firelight. "Yes."

"What about owls?"

"You won't see any, they can't find us, the link has been broken." Severus stated. "Too traceable."

Harry could only agree, his owl had been intercepted in the past.

Harry thought of his friends and of them sending him owls and the owls merely returning a day or so later, the letters undelivered. Nearly five months had passed since they had left him at the train station waiting for his relatives. December was approaching. How many owls was that? Harry sighed with a heavy heart, they would all have jobs, school would have started with a new Potions and Psychic Healing Master, and Harry could not begin to imagine whom they could have got. A new Defence Against The Dark Arts Master too, but that went without saying. Surely Ron and Hermione would have tried to find him when they discovered that he wasn't at the Dursleys, Harry thought.

"Do you think Albus would have told Hermione and Ron what happened to me?" Harry asked.

"I've no idea what his intentions were, it all happened very quickly for all of us. I am sure he would have told them something, though I haven't seen any flying cars so far." Severus attempted to joke.

"I hope they don't think I have given up." Harry told Severus starting to feel a bit upset.

"You miss them." Severus stated.

"Of course I do." Harry replied. "Do you think they know you're with me?"

"There are only three people on this planet who are supposed to know I am with you, yourself, obviously, Albus and the man you met at the train station from the Order. I don't suppose anybody will guess." Severus answered. "As far as I understand it, Albus was going to conceal my absence till the start of term. I often used to disappear down to the dungeons for days on end anyway; I wouldn't be surprised if nobody even notices I have gone. The other staff may well have been told I am elsewhere, some mission or other for the Order, they may have been told I've gone over to the other side, who knows what Albus has done. I suppose I could have just failed to return in September, from wherever I was supposed to be. Missing, presumed Death Eater, no doubt."

"Do you miss anybody?" Harry asked feeling sad for Severus who probably wasn't being over grim about how others viewed him. He had been there himself.

"Albus." Severus said staring into the fire, thinking of one other, and handing Harry some toast.

Harry eyed Severus warily as he produced the bottle of whiskey. Was this just going to turn into another 'get Harry drunk' session? It was most definitely Severus' turn and Harry was going to make sure that, this time, it played out that way.

Harry had been thinking about the way they behaved with each other now, how Severus had managed to bring down a whole tree the second Harry's hand took the Bichun Sword. The way he had felt Severus through the Bond when they had been practising with the swords just now. He wondered about the kiss and how it had seemed so real. 'I really hope I'm not wrong about this', Harry thought as he steeled himself for what he was about to do, he didn't want to wait any longer to find out.

"Let's get inside the tent, it is getting too cold now for sitting out." Severus suggested.

Harry had no argument with that part; he could barely part with his blanket long enough for them both to get snuggled underneath everything. Harry pulled the sleeping bag up to his chin and lay on his side facing Severus. He had both the little bowls underneath the covers and he was pouring some out.

"You are doing really well." Severus praised referring to their progress so far with the swords. "We'll keep working on it as we have been, build on what we've done each day. The power in the swords should keep us from getting too tired."

Harry accepted his whiskey and took a large mouthful to begin with. Severus, he noticed, sipped at his.

Harry took charge of the whiskey and filled Severus' bowl up as soon as there was any room.

"I didn't want any more." Severus complained.

"Don't you deserve some fun too?" Harry pointed out echoing what Severus had once said to him.

"No, I don't. You ask anybody, they will tell you." Severus countered.

"Oh well, there's nobody here to ask. Anyway, you like to drink, you told me so."

"Never in front of anyone else. Anyway, somebody has to keep watch."

"Just like when we're both asleep?"

"Not the same." Severus insisted.

"How is it different?"

"We can still wake up if something happens."

"Bi sobarra, you told me remember." Harry said.

Severus knew when he was defeated, he would give in to Harry and drink, and he would quite probably enjoy it. He hoped, however, that Harry had some idea of what he was asking for. That was the trouble with drink, too much truth.

Severus took the bowl in his hands and drained it down, Harry refilled for them both.

Harry slowed down to taking sips and now that he was persuaded, Severus readily sank into the bottle.

"I won't drink as much." Harry said. "I'm not completely irresponsible."

"Fine." Severus answered his whole body starting to feel fuzzy. It had been so long, he was drunk on hardly anything; they weren't even likely to finish the bottle.

Harry waited a while, watching Severus' face, gauging him, waiting for him to relax. Harry reached out a hand and stroked it down Severus' face; he closed his eyes and leant into the touch just like he did when he was asleep.

Harry smiled and stroked his hand through Severus' hair next, "Don't go to sleep." Harry said softly. "There are some things I want to ask you."

"Hmm?"

"How strong is the Kin Bond?"

Severus smiled and answered readily. "Very."

"Am I like a brother to you?" Harry asked hardly believing he had the nerve.

Severus reached a hand up to catch hold of Harry's and they both became entangled in Severus' hair. "No." Severus answered.

"Because holding hands as we walk, isn't being a friend."

"No?" Severus said shrugging his shoulders. "Oh, well."

"How do you feel about the Dursley's death?" Harry asked changing topic swiftly.

"It'll save me the trouble." Severus answered not missing a beat.

Harry was a little surprised by the answer but he carried on. "You wanted to kill them?"

"I've thought about it." Severus confessed.

"Why?"

"They weren't very nice to you."

"YOU weren't very nice to me." Harry accused.

"Not like that." Severus continued.

Harry's heart jumped into his mouth despite his share of the whiskey. Could Severus know? It wasn't possible. He hadn't shared the secret with anybody, not even Albus.

"I dreamt that we kissed, a short while ago." Harry said trying hard to push the Dursleys away from his thoughts.

"Oh." Severus responded.

"Was it a dream?" Harry asked.

Severus shook his head. "No. Felt like it." He smiled again.

Harry lifted himself up on an elbow and looked down at Severus.

"This is your drink night, do you want to decide what we do?" Harry asked. "Or we could just do it the way you do it when it's I who's drunk or unconscious in some way. I could sneak the odd affection, hoping you won't remember. Because I have that little faith in myself and I have that little faith in you."

"I'm sorry." Severus said in an inebriated and pleading voice.

Harry sighed.

"I just wanted to be close." Severus defended looking really upset by Harry's accusation. "I've never kissed anyone before."

Harry's heart filled with warmth for his companion and sadness for him too. 'Never'? "Well, I take advantage of you too." Harry confessed. "I've been stroking your hair while you sleep since the first visit to Inverness."

Severus' eyes opened wide at this.

"And I kiss you on the forehead at least once every couple of days." Harry added.

Severus just stared at Harry, speechless.

Harry lay back down and reached out to stroke Severus' hair again.

"You don't need to get me drunk you know." Harry whispered softly as Severus leant into his touch.

Harry saw Severus looking at him as if he couldn't allow himself to believe in it.

Harry leant forward and let his lips brush with Severus'. It felt like it had before. Harry pulled away again and picked up his wand, which had so far been providing their light. He cast it over himself and said the words. "Bi sobarra."

Severus reached for his wand too but Harry snatched it from him.

"Not yet." Harry said holding it out of Severus' reach. "You deserve to stay where you are for now."

Harry looked into Severus' eyes and was suddenly almost crippled with fear now that his head was completely clear. He had to stay true to his word, he could do it, and at least he knew he had a willing victim. Harry leant towards Severus and let their lips brush again.

'_Take care of him for me', the voice spoke in Harry's head._

'_Trying to.' Harry replied in his thoughts._

Harry closed his eyes and tugged lightly on Severus' hair to encourage him to come closer. Harry could remember last time and tried to let it happen the same way, he stayed still and let his mouth open slightly, breathing out deeply but gently. Then waited. When he felt Severus' lips brush with his, Harry leant in a little and deepened it into a kiss. Severus responded to this, deepening it further. The Harry felt a hand gently on the back of his head stopping him from pulling away, as if.

Harry had been kissed before, before Severus. It had been nothing like this, fumbling and disappointing by comparison. When they parted slightly, Harry's head was feeling mushy again and he felt like had lost part of himself, now that they were no longer joined.

Severus hand was still on Harry's head and he shuffled so that he was lying on his back. Severus lay on his side with his eyes closed tight.

"Come lie with me." Harry encouraged.

Severus shuffled over to Harry and rested his head on his shoulder. Harry wrapped his arms round his Kin. "Are you all right?" He asked noticing moisture around Severus' eyes.

"Yes." Severus answered not offering anything further.

"Go to sleep then." Harry said kissing him on the forehead.

Once Harry knew Severus was asleep he passed his own wand over him and whispered. "Bi sobarra." To ensure that his companion would wake refreshed in the morning.

Harry woke the next morning to find that Severus wasn't lying beside him. He had really hoped that Severus would sleep in; he longed to share a waking up moment with him. Especially after the previous night, he wanted nothing more than to confirm the progress they had made. Harry sat up and saw Severus sitting outside wrapped in a blanket tending to the stove as he always was. Except, Harry thought, he looked more stern than usual.

Severus stirred the porridge, willing his hands to stop shaking; he had forgotten that it was likely to be like this. Harry had kissed him and it was the beginning of something. He would want things, he would want him to do more, it was different when Harry had been unconscious, this time the kiss was a promise and a demand. Oh how he wished he could stop shaking, how he wished that Harry would kiss him again and his fear would be magicked away with his touch, rather that than this. This irrational panic, which gripped him even though their Bond was so strong.

To Harry, Severus seemed to be lost in thought; he crept up beside him and put a hand on his companion's shoulder. To Harry's surprise Severus flinched at his touch.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked feeling his heart sinking. He had done something wrong, but it had seemed so right.

Severus forced a smile and turned to Harry. "I'm fine." He lied.

When the porridge was ready Harry tried to sit next to Severus but he inched away so that they weren't touching. Harry could feel his heart going chilled within him; he considered many things from trying to get him to talk, to pushing him on the ground and jumping on him. He couldn't think what to do for the best and so had to choose inaction. Maybe Severus just needed some time, Harry told himself.

Severus set a fairly quick pace as they began their daily walking. They had headed north through the mountains, now they were walking west to Tyndrum, before turning north again, their current goal was to reach Fort William before the end of December, with no train days to be had. Severus stayed at Harry's side but didn't offer his hand. Harry wondered if there was something about the night before that perhaps Severus was awkward about, but he hadn't told Harry any great secrets and they had only kissed.

"Maybe we should go to France sometime, what do you think? It would be warmer." Harry asked trying to draw Severus out after three hours of walking in silence. "I mean, we are heading north as the weather turns colder."

"Do you have a passport, Potter?" Severus asked his voice expressionless.

"No." Harry had to admit. 'Potter'?

"Then how do you propose we go to France?"

Harry wanted to shake Severus and make him stop it. How could Severus be so cold after the intimacy they had shared?

"You don't need a passport to get into France." Harry pointed out, proceeding now against his better judgment.

"But you will need one to get back into this country." Severus snapped.

"That's ridiculous!"

"Life is ridiculous, Potter!" Severus snapped again.

"Sev?" Harry said, panic filling him. What on earth had he done to deserve this? It was as if Severus had melted away with the sunrise and he was left with Snape all over again.

"Do not call me 'Sev'." Severus snapped, moving to walk in front of Harry.

Harry's anger started to rise, where the hell was the voice in his head when he needed it. Harry was too annoyed with Severus to get the crystal ball. Besides, he had put it back in his rucksack since they had been getting on so well without it.

"It was just a suggestion." Harry snapped at Severus.

"Even if we did have passports, it's hardly wise to go leaving an official trail like that, is it?" Severus continued to criticize from in front.

"Well maybe we could find another way, I bet you've got a broomstick tucked away in there as well as all those other little secrets that you keep sneaking out, one after the other." Harry snapped.

"I certainly have not." Severus fumed, suddenly swinging round to face Harry. They had stopped walking. "This is not a game, this is war. We are bound to remain in Scotland for a reason. We will not be going to France or following any other ill thought out, juvenile plan of yours."

"You haven't got a broom? Well you sound to me like you've got one stuffed up your arse." Harry shouted at Severus then stormed off up the road to hide the tears that spoilt his angry stance. After a few minutes Harry could tell that Severus was following behind him, he could always feel him.

Harry slowed their pace, Severus matched it, Harry was glad that he could feel Severus there behind him because there was no other way of knowing, without turning around. It suited Harry's purposes too since Severus would not know that Harry didn't need to see him to know he was there.

Around lunchtime they entered the town of Crianlarich and walked down the high street. They hadn't travelled a great distance but had zigzagged around the mountains for training purposes, still seeming to walk just as far every day. They were just passing a grocery store when Severus called to Harry. Harry stopped walking and slowly turned to find Severus pulling his rucksack off his back and avoiding Harry's gaze. He looked crushed and broken. Harry suddenly felt like hugging him and forgetting everything. He was his Sev once more, Harry could tell. It will take more than a sheepish look, Harry thought, as his resolve threatened to melt. Severus could not be allowed to treat him like that; he had to make sure that it didn't happen again. No matter what some stupid Bond told him, he couldn't live like this.

Severus gestured with a hand to indicate his intentions to enter the store and Harry approached him and took charge of their possessions. Severus went into the store without a word.

Harry knew he looked a mess, no stupid cleaning charm could hide how upset he was. Severus would have seen and known, Harry didn't care. He rubbed his eyes and sniffed a little, trying to think of something else to calm himself now that they were amongst considerable population. When Severus came out of the store, Harry turned so their eyes met for a brief second before Severus turned away.

Severus walked on ahead but setting the pace a lot slower, slower even than normal. Severus suddenly stopped outside a pub and silently suggested they go in.

Harry shook his head. "You are not getting round me that easily." Harry said carrying on up the road.

They walked out of town and when they reached a location of suitable seclusion Harry detoured off the road to find them somewhere to put the tent. Harry was tired and he didn't care that they hadn't covered their ten miles.

Harry got the tent up and all their things arranged inside and when he looked back outside Severus was just sitting there staring at nothing. Harry shuffled outside and took a look inside the grocery bag.

"The usual then." Harry muttered half to himself.

"You could have had a meal." Severus replied blankly.

"Oh yes." Harry replied. "Half starve me to death, and then use it to get round me with the occasional proper meal." Harry accused.

"I am not trying to starve you."

"No? That would be why I am losing weight."

"You are? I didn't know. I have asked you from time to time, if there's anything you want, I thought we were doing all right."

Harry laughed grimly at that. "Yes, I suppose you did. I suppose at your age your metabolism slows down doesn't it. You would probably get fat if you ate more."

Severus sat in silence once more.

"I can't live like this." Harry announced. "I have opened up to you, trusted you, and you throw it all back in my face."

"I'm sorry." Severus muttered.

"You got me to make a commitment, I'm your Kin for life, I get that. I'm not running away, I would just prefer, no, I need you not to spend too much time making me regret it. I have to be able to trust you, Sev. The Dursleys weren't very nice to me; I know that isn't your fault. But I can't live with you like this, expecting you to turn on me at any minute and not knowing why. Making me feel like I'm eleven again. Is it too much to ask to want you to treat me fairly?"

Severus drew up his knees to his chest and turned his head away.

"Sev?"

No answer.

Harry sighed.

'_He was raped'. The voice spoke in Harry's head. 'Very badly hurt, he's just frightened.'_

'_Where were you?' Harry asked in his thoughts._

'_Couldn't get through.'_

'_What can I do?' Harry asked with a lump in his throat._

'_He gets anxious and panics, lashes out, you know the feeling, just stroke his hair and hug him.'_

'_What? Now?'_

'_As soon as you can, let him see that you are frightened too, he understands you more than you think.'_

'_Who are you?' Harry asked._

No words came into his head.

"Sev?" Harry called in a more determined voice.

Severus slowly looked towards Harry with heartbroken eyes.

"I'm sorry." Harry said knowing that he knew what he was sorry for but that Severus couldn't.

Harry started to crawl over to where Severus sat and he had nearly reached him when the sharp and intense pain shot through his scar and seared through his whole body causing him to cry out. He tried to be brave and not cry out again but the waves of pain just kept on coming. Harry was vaguely aware of being lifted up and of the warmth he ended up leaning against. He tried to fight the oncoming vision. He didn't need this just now. He needed to talk to his Sev and make things right. He tried to open his eyes, he tried to make some part of his body move with his own free will, but the vision was taking him anyway. Already he could see himself approaching a wizard house with a group of men in dark hooded cloaks. Lights were on in the house, the curtains drawn back, and as they got closer, Harry could see a young family sat down at the their kitchen table, having their evening meal, a young boy, barely a year old, being spoon-fed by his mother. Soon Harry could hear their screams as the Death Eaters cursed them down one after the other. Inside the vision Harry felt himself laughing and promising, 'one a day'.

to be continued, look out for chapter 11 on Saturday folks :) Harry and Sev patch things up.

Thanks to all who review, your comments remain invaluable and all suggestions are seriously considered.


	11. After The Storm

Personal notes to my fantastic reviewers are at the bottom of the page. 

In Chapter Eleven: Some stuff about the swords and Harry and Sev make up and hang out together and go shopping. Harry and Sev's relationship progresses in a nice way. Language Warning: For Sev's response to seeing snow.

Chapter Eleven - After The Storm 

Harry woke feeling warm, though his head felt fuzzy and he was so exhausted he didn't even want to lift his head to see where he was. He could tell where he was anyway, he could feel it and smell it. He could have cried with knowing. The surface he lay on was soft and warm and rose and fell gently. He could hear a heart beat and smell the familiar scent. Whatever had happened in between, he had ended up lying on his front, draped over Severus, inside their sleeping bag with Severus' arms wrapped around him. They lay as if Severus had been cradling Harry in his arms and he had lain back pulling Harry down with him. It was probably what had happened, Harry thought, he had no idea how late it was but Severus had probably become tired waiting for him to come round. He had made sure he would be safe first.

Harry thought of what Severus must have done so soon after their biggest fall out yet. They had been outside and fully clothed, now they were warm and everything was neatly laid on top of them as if it were any other night. He knew from before, from what people had told him, that he thrashed about as if in a fit when he was having a vision. He cringed at the thought of Severus having to see him like that. Harry knew that he had often become violent depending on the vision's intensity. In addition to this was what Severus must have done to stop him scratching his forehead to bits. He didn't know the details, nobody ever seemed to want to talk about it afterwards, looking embarrassed and frightened and retreating from him when he woke, when he was his self again. Even Ron usually took a few days to get over it and he had been his best friend. Nobody had ever held him like Severus did. Severus would endure anything, he would never leave, he would look after him, never cease to be his Kin, but no wonder he looked so tired.

Harry wondered if he could stay awake long enough so that Severus wouldn't be able to run away from him as soon as he woke in the morning. Harry looked at his Kin, lying propped up on his rucksack the strain of the previous day still evident on his face. Harry thought he could hardly bear to wait any longer or run the risk of falling asleep again, he was so tired. Maybe he would wake Severus under some pretext, and then they could fall asleep again together. But what excuse could he use? Maybe, he had heard something outside, Harry considered.

'Why don't you try the truth?' The voice inside Harry's head led him.

Harry smiled at the strange intrusion.

"Yes." Harry whispered to himself. "Wakey wakey Sev, it's the middle of the night, but I just thought I would wake you up because…what exactly? A hug, because I want a hug, and to know that we are all right, and a kiss, hmm, nice yummy kiss."

"Hmm?" A voice said sleepily beneath Harry.

Where had he got the idea that Severus would be able to sleep deeply under such circumstances? Harry reached a hand up to Severus' hair and stroked it like he often did. Severus was soothed by Harry's touch and appeared to go back to sleep.

Harry pulled himself up a bit, having an idea. He reached into to his rucksack and unearthed the crystal ball. Sev had fallen asleep again, Harry knew, he was getting nothing from the ball at all. Harry lay on his side and took one of Severus' hands; he placed the ball in his palm and wrapped his fingers round it. Then he shuffled towards Severus pulling himself up on one elbow, making sure Severus' hand remained grasped round the ball. He then wriggled a bit to make sure Severus woke up. Then, allowing his fear to have full reign, Harry leant forward despite it, to kiss Severus lightly on the lips. Then Severus, having become awake enough to notice, opened his eyes to look at Harry. He didn't say anything, merely looked a bit bewildered. Harry brought Severus' hand, still clutching the crystal ball, up to his line of sight so that he would guess what Harry was doing. Harry then leant in for another kiss and to his relief found that Severus responded. Severus wound his fingers through Harry's hair with his free hand and they continued the embrace. Severus gripped Harry's hair a little too tightly and he couldn't help the resultant flinch. Severus felt Harry's panic through the ball and released his hold.

"I'm sorry." Harry said immediately pulling away from the kiss but not from Severus, really wanting to remain with it while Severus was losing himself in the kissing, but knowing what he must do to ensure their ongoing relationship progressed, as he would like. He didn't want Severus getting scared and withdrawing again.

"What for?" Severus whispered, resuming his attention to the stroking of Harry's head, lightly, carefully.

"I am so nervous." Harry explained. "I don't want to rush this, you are everything to me but I need you to understand. This is the first time I have felt anything anywhere near like this for anybody. The first time I have gone so far. I am sorry if you wanted more last night, it's just I have never… you know. I want you to be happy with me."

"Oh, Harry it wasn't that, please, it wasn't that. Don't worry, I will not rush you." Severus said kissing Harry again. "It was just old stupid memories. It's all right Harry, I understand."

'Hmm', thought Harry darkly, 'you certainly do.'

"Promise you won't turn on me again?" Harry asked kissing Severus again. "It was like suddenly seeing a stranger in your place. Or you as you used to be, to be more precise."

"I have been very hurtful with you Harry, I hear you. You can't even guess how sorry I am." Severus said bringing his hand round to stroke Harry's cheek; Harry leant into the touch as he had seen Severus do.

"Promise me Sev. This has to change, I am not your pet, and I'm not something you can lash out at for whatever reason. I am your Kin."

"I promise." Severus said burying his head in Harry's shoulder. Harry could tell that he had shaken Severus more than he realised. However, Harry had managed to get Severus to take things easy and he had no idea that it had been done mostly for his benefit.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked.

"Yes, anything." Severus said hugging Harry firmly.

"Can you stay with me in the morning, not go running off before I wake up."

"Yes, of course I can." Severus said kissing Harry lightly on the forehead.

"Sev?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for looking after me."

"You can tell me all about it in the morning." Severus said holding Harry against him and closing his eyes.

Severus didn't fall asleep immediately, however. Earlier, he had passed out from sheer exhaustion and against his better judgement. Now, as he held Harry close to him, he found he was quite awake. Having to watch Harry writhing in pain disturbed him greatly but he knew he would have to get used to it, he didn't know how he was going to achieve that. He had felt so helpless, there had been nothing he could do but hold Harry, even with the Kin Bond that didn't change. This time, however, later, they would both hold their swords, feel their shared power, and Severus hoped that he might be able to take away a portion of the aftermath, share out the emotions and memories, and help sooth Harry a little.

After a while of listening to Harry's relaxed breathing, Severus began to feel tired again. For the first time Harry and Severus slept knowingly in each other's arms with no alcohol fogging the experience.

When Harry woke again it was still dark but then it was winter now and if the sky was cloudy it might never seem to get light at all. Both Severus and Harry were lying on their side, they lay with their knees drawn up and touching, their arms draped possessively round each other but still with some space in between. Severus was asleep still and Harry lay watching him by a gentle wand glow. Harry was glad that he didn't know who had hurt his Sev, his Kin. If he ever found out who had been responsible, most likely a member of his family Harry could only assume, he would hunt them down, kill them, and take pleasure in it. He would make it his personal mission; nobody would ever lay a finger on his Kin ever again. Harry leant his head forward and as their foreheads touched Harry closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and the proximity to his beloved Kin, his Sev.

Harry slept a while longer and when he woke again it was to the wonderful sensation of feeling Severus' hand running through his hair, a wonderfully slow and sensual touch. Harry smiled and tilted his head.

"You are like a little kitten." Severus commented.

Harry's eyes flew open. "A kitten?"

Severus was unrepentant. "Yes, I can almost hear the purr." He said fondly.

Harry glowered at Sev but he didn't mean anything by it.

"I'm going to make breakfast now, all right?" Severus said. "I remembered you wanted me to wait."

They still lay side by side; Harry snuggled into Sev, unwilling to let his warmth leave him. Severus put his arms round Harry and hugged him. "We can't lie here all day." Severus said. "I need to get you some breakfast then we'll go shopping."

"Again?" Harry asked.

"We do need to revise our supplies plan."

"Buy something different, you mean?" Harry asked smiling.

Severus sighed. "You really are getting thin Harry, I should have noticed. I don't want you to fade away to nothing. But first, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Porridge would be nice."

"I'll try and make a bit more than usual, though the pan isn't very big."

Harry leant in for a kiss and let Severus slide out from the sleeping bag. Harry pulled the covers tight around himself. Severus put his coats on and crawled to the tent opening and pulled down the zip, a drift of snow promptly avalanched into the tent.

"Oh fuck." Severus said in an uncharacteristic lapse of language, made more expressive of his state of mind, by the rarity of it.

Harry immediately sat up, feeling a bit dizzy as he did so, to see what had caused Severus to use such a word. When Harry saw what had happened he laughed.

Severus scowled. "I am glad you think it is funny."

Harry was still smiling, after everything that had happened in the past fews days, it was funny.

"You won't be laughing when you're helping me dig us out of here." Severus warned.

It didn't spoil Harry's mood. "Come back to bed then, we'll stay here till it thaws. It's too early in the winter for it to last long."

To Harry's surprise Severus did come back to bed. He snuggled next to Harry after he put his coats back on top of them.

"You can tell me about the vision, then maybe we can clear a space inside the tent and use the stove. Then we really will have to dig ourselves out, we are going shopping today whatever happens to try and stand in our way." Severus announced.

Harry wanted to shrink from having to talk about the vision; he had just started to enjoy his day. He had to share it with Severus though, for the good of their mission and for his own sanity.

Severus reached into his rucksack and pulled out his sword, the serpents eagerly grasping his wrist.

"Get yours too." Severus commanded.

Once they were both holding their swords Severus lay on his side and manoeuvred the sword beneath the covers.

"Watch what you're doing with that thing." Harry warned.

Severus was a little disappointed; he had thought that Harry understood, he vowed to schedule a training session on the subject in the near future.

"While we both hold our swords I can't hurt you and you can't hurt me, you will be fine, now get your arm under the covers now, you're letting the cold in." Severus said.

Harry did as he was told, smiling to himself, feeling the warmth of their Bond through the sword despite Severus' snappy words.

"All right." Severus began, as they got as comfortable as they could. "This is actually a sword training session."

"Can't they all be like this?" Harry asked playfully, nestling his head against Severus' chest.

Severus smiled in his own subdued way. "Unfortunately not, but this is an important technique which we will be required to practise."

"Oh goody." Harry added.

"It is so I can help you with the visions. In a minute you will begin to tell me what happened and as you do so we will both concentrate on sharing our experiences and I will also be sending you my strength." Severus instructed. "Hopefully I can help you bear the burden."

"It wasn't a very big one, I didn't even know who they were." Harry began. He felt the connection as Severus joined with him. Harry thought of his experience travelling to Severus and he felt the warmth of a small amount of Severus' strength flowing into him.

Severus smiled. "Good, that worked quite well for a first attempt. Keep going." He encouraged.

"It was a family, reminded me of my parents because they had a young boy that would have been about the same age as I was when they died."

Severus felt a portion of Harry's grief for his memories flowing into him and he returned with a little bit of comfort.

"Go on." Severus prompted.

"Nobody was spared, they were all killed, one after the other. All very cold, the Death Eaters had been given a list and they just turned up and did it. There was pleading and screaming and the little boy saw his mother and father fall to the ground. The little boy screamed and called for them. But the Death Eaters, who never lowered their hoods to show their faces, silenced him swiftly without hesitation."

Severus was breathing deeply, taking as much of it as he could, he was right there with Harry in the vision, experiencing the memories as he remembered them. Harry didn't say any more but they maintained their connection, Harry leading Severus through the vision, both of them inside the memories.

"One a day." Severus said eventually as the sharing connection faded and although they could still feel each other through the Bond they were no longer communicating with as much intensity.

They both breathed in and out deeply and looked at each other simultaneously.

"I think that was a good vision to begin with, not too overwhelmingly personal but intense enough for you to need to release it." Severus commented.

"It hasn't made it go away but I feel like it sits on my shoulders a bit easier." Harry added.

"And I'm right there with you." Severus added. "We do this together. I cannot help you very much while you're having a vision, but I can do this."

"Yes, we must do this."

"You were very good, you mastered the technique straight away." Severus praised.

"Any house points?" Harry teased.

"I think we will abolish that system in exchange for a system of kissing points." Severus said surprising Harry. He surprised him even more when he leant in for a kiss when they were both still holding their swords, resulting in an intense shot of feeling not too dissimilar to an electric shock.

Severus smiled at Harry's expression knowing exactly what he had just done. "I think we can put these away now." He said removing his own sword from his arm.

"One a day, Sev."

"I wouldn't count on the Dark Lord to keep his word on anything, but we'll face it when it comes."

"One a day, unless I go to him and turn myself in." Harry added.

"Whereupon he will proceed to kill everybody anyway, with nobody to stop him." Severus added. "Just in case you were thinking of doing something heroically stupid."

Harry shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I won't ever leave you. It's just hard that's all, to stand by and watch this happen. Sometimes I wish he would just come for me and then we could finish it, one way or another."

Severus beckoned Harry into his arms and Harry went gladly. Severus wrapped his arms round Harry and held him close not wanting to let him go even to make breakfast. They had to move though, there was a reason why Severus could wrap his arms so completely around his Kin and he didn't like it.

Harry had a double helping of porridge in the end; Severus opted to make two batches to get round the fact that their pan was so small. At least now that it had got cold they didn't have to worry about the milk not being very nice in the morning, they were only relieved it hadn't frozen over night. Harry was very glad of his breakfast as he attempted to pull the guy pegs out of the frozen ground, his hands through necessity plunged deep within the snow. It hadn't even snowed that much, the wind had blown it all across the field and into their corner. Harry made a note to himself to pay more attention to the wind direction when pitching the tent.

"We'll have to go back." Severus announced as he packed everything else away.

"Hmm?"

"The gas has started to splutter and the High Street yesterday had a camping shop, I have no idea when we will come across another and we can't run out." Severus said, silently berating himself for not having the presence of mind to realise it was running out. Well, he had had a few other things to think about.

Harry grimaced at the thought of having to eat cold food on top of everything else. "Shame they're so bloody heavy." Harry commented. "Or we could carry a spare."

They reached the town just before lunchtime almost exactly twenty-four hours after their previous visit. The smell of good food and beer drifted out of the pub as they passed but Severus didn't stop to go in even though Harry slowed down as a hint. They went straight to the grocery store and Harry pulled his rucksack off his back and stood dutifully by the wall, leaning himself against it.

"You asked me not to treat you like a pet." Severus said standing beside Harry. "Which means I am not going to leave you tied up outside any longer. Besides, you need to tell me what you want. We'll find a way of managing the bags."

Harry smiled and followed Severus into the store.

They came across the fruit and vegetable section first, their bags in a shopping trolley with a basket perched on top to hold the grocery items. It became apparent very quickly that this wasn't going to be easy. Severus made Harry choose some fruit, but only enough to last a few days; this was the easy part, some bananas and a bag of little satsumas soon lay in their basket. The vegetables came next, and Severus picked up a swede.

"What exactly am I supposed to do with this?" He asked Harry with a raised eyebrow, which, for some reason, Harry found adorable.

Harry was able to utilise some of his Muggle experience. "It's the same as the orange mushy stuff we sometimes got next to the potato. It comes like that, you have to take the skin off, cut it up and boil it." He informed Severus.

"What about the rest of these?" Severus asked gesturing to the vegetable shelves after discarding the swede.

"Pretty much the same." Harry said shrugging his shoulders. "Apart from the tomatoes I suppose, although technically they are still a fruit."

"Do you like them?" Severus asked.

"Yes, fortunately." Harry answered picking some up and placing them next to the fruit.

They were getting enough for both of them but Severus didn't really seem to have any preferences.

They picked up another packet of oatmeal next, to make the porridge with.

"We can't really do much better than this for breakfast." Harry commented.

"Get two bags, I need to make sure I fill you up." Severus instructed fondly.

Two old Muggle ladies glared at them both as Severus put an arm round Harry and briefly squeezed his shoulder. Harry glared back at them, like it was any of their business, he thought.

They made sure they got the milk next; the oats weren't much use without it. Then Severus led Harry to the aisle where the cans were. Harry walked up and down getting more and more downhearted as he went.

"You were doing your best weren't you?" Harry was forced to admit.

"I was trying, it's not easy with just a little stove." Severus replied. "Should we get some bread? You could pick up some jam and something else, maybe."

Harry smiled. "Actually, peanut butter is a very good idea, nuts have protein and it comes in a jar AND you don't have to cook it. Would go nicely with the jam."

"Sounds disgusting." Severus said looking as if he would rather drink one of his first year student's potions.

"I know, but it won't be, you'll see." Harry reassured as they headed for the correct aisle.

"We should have done this before, I'm sorry." Severus said softly, creating some more attention by putting his arm round Harry's shoulder. Harry glowered again; didn't these people have anything else to worry about?

"It's weird hearing you apologise all the time." Harry commented, not that he minded.

"It's not like you're going to run off and tell your friends is it?" Severus said, leaning down to a shelf to pick up the jam.

Harry gave Severus a disapproving look.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…" Severus backtracked, worried about upsetting Harry again.

Harry laughed. "Well, there's another one noted down to tell them if we ever get home." He joked.

When they were sure they had enough for a few days they approached the troll behind the counter. Not a real troll of course but a Muggle who looked very much like one. The troll raised both her eyebrows at them as they approached. Harry felt Severus stiffen his composure in preparation for the encounter.

"We don't get your sort in here very often." The troll felt compelled to comment.

Harry stifled a grin as Severus continued to place one item after the other onto the counter his face expressionless and aloof.

"Really?" Severus said handing her cash from his wallet. Severus only used one of the credit cards when they were getting a bus or a train immediately afterwards. He was fairly sure of their security, the cards had been obtained through the Order, but they couldn't be too careful.

"No." the troll woman said clearly twisting her face as she scanned their attire.

Severus strode out of the shop as soon as their transaction was completed the rucksack slung over one shoulder to make a quick exit. Harry hurried along behind him, just as keen to be on the road again.

"Right, just the camping shop to go." Severus announced. Harry could still feel the tension coming from him. They crossed to the other side of the road.

"Is it always like that?" Harry asked.

"Mostly, yes." Severus said striding up the street towards the camping shop.

When they got there it was empty apart from the proprietor. Severus didn't look pleased.

"I hate it when they just sit there following me with their eyes." Severus said pushing the door open.

They entered the shop and Severus quickly scanned the aisles looking for the camping stove gas so that they could make a hasty retreat. Harry wandered around browsing.

Then Harry saw something, it appeared to be a small something sitting on a shelf, but Harry realised it was a big something that he very much wanted. Harry looked at the price but it didn't mean anything to him after so long in the wizarding world. He picked one up anyway. If Severus had any sense at all, he would want one too.

Harry approached Severus who was holding a gas canister in his hand and was already approaching the proprietor of the shop.

"Sev?"

"Yes?" Severus said stopping and turning to face Harry.

"Can we have one of these?" Harry asked thrusting the item in question in front of Severus.

"Oh." Severus said looking down at the picture on the packet. "Only if you are volunteering to carry it and blow it up every evening."

Harry felt a little worried; Severus didn't even look slightly interested. He didn't know what to do. He ended up standing still and saying nothing.

Severus sighed and prised the item from Harry's hands and approached the man they needed to pay.

"Oh." The man said to Severus. "You'll find that difficult to blow up on your own."

"I am sure we will manage just fine." Severus replied.

They left the store with their purchases and Harry was a little bit irritated with Severus. They obviously needed a device to help them with the inflatable bed they had just bought but Severus seemed to find it amusing to let Harry do it on his own. No matter, Harry thought, even if it took him all evening to blow the damn thing up, for the first time in forever they would have something comfortable to sleep on, each and every night.

Harry walked alongside Severus again and they crossed the road and were heading back out of town when Severus suddenly stopped.

Harry noticed that they were stopped outside the pub with the nice food smell. Severus gestured for Harry to step inside.

"It doesn't mean anything." Severus said. "I just think you deserve it."

Harry gave no argument and when they got inside the pub they found a welcoming bar, clean and tidy in appearance and in the fireplace burnt a huge and very real log fire. Surrounding the hearth area were a number of deep leather sofas with a coffee table in between.

"Take the bags and find us a seat." Severus said. "I'll get us some drinks and the lunch menu."

Harry took both the rucksacks and headed for what seemed like a dream, after all this time. He had taken it for granted in his time at school, in the common room. Now it seemed like nothing short of heaven. He sank into one of the sofas to await Severus' return, feeling the radiant heat from the fire glowing on his cheek, the fire warming him all down one side.

Severus returned with two beers and a packet of cigarettes. When Harry had chosen for the menu Severus briefly left him to place the order and then they settled themselves in front of the fire.

"I've ordered tea to come with our meal, it'll help against the cold." Severus told Harry as he lit him a cigarette and passed it over. "Make sure you get decently warmed through before we have to leave."

"I have no problem with that order." Harry smiled at Severus, the irritation over the inflatable bed forgotten for now.

"I am glad we are here today, with the snow falling." Severus added. "The sweets are compulsory by the way."

"If you say so." Harry said raising an eyebrow at Severus.

"No, really." Severus said gesturing to a blackboard addendum to the main menu. There was an all-inclusive special price offer consisting of a main meal, tea and a sweet. "Though they only had apple pie and custard."

"Damn, how will I cope?" Harry commented, smiling and taking a long luxurious drag on his cigarette. "Do you think it would be better to give these things up, now that we might not die after all?" Harry asked.

"You've had less than a whole packet the whole time we've been in Scotland, I would hardly call it an addiction."

"True, and we ran out of weed ages ago."

"It would have gone off anyway and I can't get any more."

"What about the drink? It didn't exactly help much did it? Just a temporary and inadequate mask to hide behind, with everything there once again, once it wore off."

"It let us overcome our nerves enough to begin something together, for that, I will always thank it."

Harry wondered if Severus had been sneakily drinking, he had never been this open in conversation before.

"Not a bad mask to choose, though, when all that lies before you is your own imminent death and the world's destruction. To be honest I wasn't particularly concerned about the long term consequences." Severus added morbidly but truthfully all the same.

"What about now?" Harry asked.

"I find that you are enough of a drug for me." Severus said sipping his beer, smiling slightly but entirely serious. "Note, I didn't get spirit chasers."

Right at that moment, as Harry sat quietly watching Severus as he gazed into the flames of the fire while they waited for their meal to come, there was only one other place he would rather be. Only that place wouldn't have allowed him to sit watching Severus gazing into a fire, so, in this moment, Harry found contentment and the world outside and their troubles, for a while, seemed a million miles away. Severus looked up and his eyes met with Harry's and he smiled, a really real smile. Severus was enough of a drug for him too.

They reluctantly left the warmth of the pub and started off on their daily walk stuffed with food. Harry could feel the bandages around his waist straining against the bulge of apple pie. If Severus thought he could get round Harry with a meal, he was right, it would seem he really was that easy.

Severus had been fiddling about with the map but now that he had put it away Harry reached out a hand to him.

"There is something important I need to teach you about the swords. Maybe later today, or tomorrow, we'll see how you feel." Severus announced taking the hand offered to him gladly.

Harry knew what he meant; they would train if he weren't writhing in Severus' arms in excruciating pain, locked in another vision.

"Not a big secret thing?" Harry asked.

"No." Severus answered but in too good a mood to be irritable. "A thing I've already mentioned that we haven't covered yet."

"All right." Harry readily agreed. He always felt like he had a bit more energy after they had been training and the exercise kept them warm. "Are we walking far today?"

"No, probably not, it's getting quite late already." Severus answered.

Harry was glad, he felt a bit wobbly after the previous night's vision and he was really looking forward to an evening lying on their new bed. He tried not to think about the visions, if it came, it came, 'One a day' didn't necessarily mean he would have to see it every day; at least Harry hoped it didn't.

Coming soon (Sat 11-08-2003) in the next chapter:The Year Is Old

Harry and Sev train with the swords and they test out their new bed, Sev and Harry love,Harry's hand develops a mind of its own, relationship progressing. Also, another vision.

Thanks to all who review, your comments remain invaluable and all suggestions are seriously considered. Answers to specific queries can be answered by email.


	12. The Year Is Old

Author's Note: Reviewers questions answered below. 

A note on the Bichun Kin Swords - the idea for the swords partly came from the Korean movie 'Bichunmoo: Warrior Of Virtue'(the DVD cover would make a lovely Harry and Sev photo if I could stick the heads on), the sword fighting is great in this movie, they fly about and the sword the main character uses has magic, it can kill without landing a blow. The Kin Bond aspect was my own addition.Although it might not seem like it at times, I AM going for a happy ending here :) :) There will be more about who the mysterious voice belongs to in the coming chapters, well clues anyway. Ok,ok, I won't kill Sev, I love him too you know!

In Chapter Twelve - Sev calls Harry 'Potter' one last time, Sev casts a deadly curse, Sev and Harry get all snuggly and uh oh a vision. This is a shorter one, due to a natural break in the storyline, next one will be the biggest so far.

Coming this Wednesday (12th Nov I think) in Chapter Thirteen (the biggest chapter so far) - Harry and Sev talk about their Kin Bond and what it means for them and things get VERY serious on the vision front. Brief aspects of MPREG (discussion) and the Dark Lord deals out muchos character death (not Harry or Sev).

Chapter Twelve - The Year Is Old 

Harry unfolded the inflatable bed after he had erected the tent. They had veered off the road and along a dirt track in a valley to camp for the night. Sev sat by his stove, doing his best with the food they had bought. Harry popped a segment of satsuma into his mouth and prepared to begin blowing the bed up.

"What do you think you are doing?" Severus asked, apparently amused, as Harry prepared himself for a second blow, the first having not done much at all.

Harry glared at him, Sev was obviously in a funny mood but it only seemed to relate to the bed for some reason.

"Surely you don't think you're going to blow it up like that, Potter?" Severus continued to criticize.

Harry glowered at Sev again, but obviously he wasn't taking the hint. "You can't call me 'Potter' any more." Harry warned.

"No, you are quite correct." Severus said looking pleased that Harry had pointed it out. "Surely you don't think you're going to blow it up like that, Snape?" He amended.

Harry would have choked on the satsuma segment, if he hadn't already finished eating. Fortunately he had just swallowed the last piece seconds before Severus spoke and he was fine. He would have glowered again but Severus had turned away and was searching through his rucksack. Snape? Surely he could not be serious. Could he?

Severus held his sword and placed the tip in the air inlet valve of the inflatable bed. Then he leant down and blew gently down the blade. Within seconds the bed was fully inflated. "There." Severus said going back to his pan.

"Thanks." Harry said his heart sinking as he observed the width of the bed compared to the width of the opening in the front of their tent. He really hoped it would bend a bit. "I thought we weren't supposed to be using magic." Harry observed as he lay on the bed to test it out.

"The sword magic can't be detected like wand magic can." Severus answered.

"So, that's what you've been doing all this time?"

"Not that much." Severus answered. "I'll teach you everything." He made sure Harry knew.

"So, were you serious?" Harry asked.

"About what, Snape?"

"About THAT!"

"Well, you don't think I would allow my Kin to carry the name of another man, do you?" Severus answered sounding perfectly serious.

"Suppose not." Harry said feeling warmed by Severus' possessiveness and a little freaked out by it too. Mostly he liked it, even though it was more than a little bit weird.

Harry wasn't going to allow himself to be overcome by nerves, not now. A Snape he would be, if that were what Severus wanted. He felt just as possessive about Severus; he just hadn't verbally expressed it so far. He couldn't demand that Severus called himself Potter; Harry had a feeling that it didn't work like that. He would find a way of showing Sev, Harry decided with himself, somehow. Harry took another satsuma out of the bag and tore the peel off. He needed to keep his Sev healthy too. He had been a bit overweight to begin with, so it didn't show so much, but he probably wasn't faring much better.

Harry shuffled over to Severus and pulled off a segment, holding it out to him. He was holding a spoon in one hand and the pan's handle in the other; he couldn't take it from Harry and raised an eyebrow at him to show his lack of amusement.

Harry smiled. "Open up." He said, deciding to ignore Severus' grumpiness from that point on.

Severus glowered a little bit, but he did as he was told. Harry placed the segment in Severus' mouth and his lips touched Harry's fingers as he took it. Harry froze, not lowering his hand. He looked into Severus' eyes and Severus chewed the fruit and looked at Harry right back. Harry found that his fingers developed a mind of their own and they traced along Severus' lower lip and Harry didn't want to think what his fingers wanted Severus' to do next. An image of Severus licking and sucking on each finger in turn entered Harry's brain and he could hardly dare to breath, he HAD thought about it after all.

Ignoring the potential dangers of the stove and pan, Harry found himself leaning in for a kiss, which they both prolonged. Harry's wayward fingers traced down Severus' neck, feeling along the supple skin, down to his shoulder where the many layers of clothes prevented them from going any further. Harry's mouth parted from the kiss and followed where his fingers had travelled, gently kissing and sucking as Severus tilted his head back slightly to allow it.

Suddenly Severus had abandoned his stove and pan and was trying to get Harry to stop. Harry withdrew feeling the crush of disappointment. As he sat back facing Severus, Severus took his hand and looked into Harry's eyes.

"Later." Severus promised, squeezed the hand he held tightly and then returned to his stove before it got knocked over, or worse, he burnt their dinner.

It had turned into a bitterly cold night but at least he was vision free, Harry thought, so far. The sky was clear, the ground adequately moonlit for their purposes. Harry was holding his sword but not holding it to use, neither was Sev. This was their pre-training briefing. They both wore their grey wool coats and their hair was tied back into a ponytail.

"The usual warm up routine?" Harry asked.

"Yes, to begin with." Severus answered. "But there is something else we need to do, something very important, essential in fact."

"That would be?"

"You have to try and kill me tonight."

"What! Oh no, Sev, not this again. I thought we had got over the whole 'you must kill me' thing."

"Not like that." Severus began to clarify. "You can't hurt me while we both hold the swords, you think you know that. I don't think you REALLY know it. One of your potential strengths lies in not hesitating. You see me standing next to a Death Eater. Your power lies in the ability to turn and see us both, take your sword and cast the curse right at the both of us, without hesitation. In fact you should have known I was there before you turned."

"Oh, Sev, not this. If a Death Eater was there I am sure I could do it, but not now, not when's it's just the two of us."

"Not good enough, but very well." Severus said. "Show me your sword, hold it so I can see."

Harry took the sword in his hand, the serpents gleefully wound round his wrist knowing they were about to play. He raised the sword and displayed it in front of him, ready for battle as Severus had taught him.

Severus' expression turned to stone and fury, worse than a Snape relapse by far. "Bas aithghearr." Severus shouted pointing his sword at Harry. A huge bolt of blue lightning emitted from the tip of the sword and struck Harry full in the chest. Harry staggered backwards a little and was more stunned by what he had seen Severus try to do to him, rather than the effects of it itself.

"That was the bloody 'sudden death' curse!" Harry managed to splutter eventually. "Are you mad? You bloody lunatic!"

"Now do you see?" Severus asked calmly. "How did it feel?"

"You scared me half to death, the look on your face, like you really meant it." Harry added still sounding panicked.

"But the curse did what exactly?" Severus asked.

Harry was beginning to regain his composure, "Absolutely nothing." Harry replied. "Well, it tickled a little bit."

Severus stood still for a little while, feeling the power of the swords and their Kin Bond flowing through him. He sent Harry some comfort and Harry returned some affection. He understood now.

"Can we play?" Harry asked eager to get into the air, it was almost as good as getting on his broom and flying, he had found.

Severus shook his head with affection. "It is not playing, but yes, you need the exercise."

They stood side by side as they had done on several occasions now, and held hands. When Severus let go of his hand he would know it was time to go, a simple code not likely to be obvious to an enemy, as they stood before them, perhaps unaware of the Kin Bond that existed between them. They had their code for emergencies too, for when something eventually caught up with them, whenever that might be.

Severus dropped Harry's hand they both jumped vertically into the air, Harry only a fraction of a second behind Severus. Severus was setting the lead with Harry following him from the Kin Bond sensing. It was something they practised as often as they could; the delay was getting shorter and shorter with each passing session. Sometimes Severus would require him to make moves on the ground, and then they would go airborne, completely random, and impossible to anticipate without the Bond.

When they had done enough to make Harry slightly breathless they put the swords away and walked back to their camp. Severus put an arm round Harry and Harry leant into him readily. He was feeling a bit wobbly still, from the previous night's vision he assumed.

"Are there many of these swords in existence?" Harry asked as they walked.

"No, not many, I can't say how many pairs to be honest, but certainly quite rare."

"Hermione would be able to find a book on them." Harry said fondly.

"She certainly would, it is all there in the restricted session if one were to take the care to look."

"Hmm. She's probably already read about it then."

"Horlicks?" Severus asked.

Harry smiled. "Thought you would never ask."

Harry loved Horlicks. Harry loved what led on from it, off to bed they would go and they had a nice new cushioned bed to look forward to. Now Harry could lay whichever way he wanted without getting some stone or other digging into his leg or his hip, he didn't know why they hadn't thought of it before.

As Sev made their bedtime drinks Harry wondered again who the voice belonged to, to whom he should give his deepest thanks. Whoever Alexian was, he seemed to know Sev pretty well; he would never have got it together with Sev if he hadn't been there. Harry had been tempted to think that the voice must be that of Sev's brother, he seemed to be the only other person who had ever cared for him. Only, though it was a nice idea, Sev's brother had been killed by the Order and Alexian knew who his murderer was, who he wanted dead to avenge his own death, and that was the Dark Lord. It just didn't add up, no matter how much Harry wished it were true. At the time of his death Sev's brother had been a Death Eater and Alexian quite clearly hadn't been.

Harry snuggled down in the bed next to Severus, now it was 'later' and Harry could have sworn that Severus looked more nervous than he himself felt. It was strange how knowing a little about what had happened to Severus made him just that little bit calmer, Harry thought, being the one to take the lead seemed to make all the difference to him.

"Close your eyes." Harry spoke softly to Severus as he lay on his back.

Severus did as he was told and Harry stroked his cheek with a hand then leant in to claim a kiss. Then he moved lower, lightly moving down Severus' neck till he reached the shirt again. Harry daringly undid a few buttons and eased the fabric back to reveal a bare shoulder just begging for Harry's attention. Severus' head flopped to the side, conveniently giving Harry better access to his exposed shoulder and neck. Harry traced small light kisses all over Severus' shoulder and back up his neck, then came back down making them deeper, sucking every now and then, listening to the rhythm of Severus' breathing change. Harry's hand stroked over the top of Severus' shirt, over his other shoulder and over his chest. Severus swallowed and looked as if he was enjoying it. He reached further down and felt Severus tense, he was obviously trying not to, but Harry could still feel it and knew when to stop, to retreat for a while.

Harry flipped over onto his back. "My turn." He announced. "Only fair."

Severus took up the challenge and utilised the attention paid to him, as guidance on how best to deal with Harry. Harry lay back, a willing victim as he felt Severus mirroring everything that had been done to him that evening, and he found himself wishing that Severus would dare to go further. He could hardly believe he had reached this moment. He had never thought he would be able to let anybody touch him at all, not ever. Not after his Uncle Dursley. Yes, he really needed to be thinking of his Uncle Dursley right about now, Harry thought; after all, officially, Severus was going slowly for his benefit, it wouldn't look right if he over did it. Harry was breathing deeply, Severus stroked his hand down Harry's abdomen and he breathed in sharply. Severus' hand withdrew and, not wanting it to be over, Harry encouraged Severus to continue with the kissing. He placed a hand underneath Severus' chin and led him up so there lips met once more. Severus deepened the kiss as Harry stroked a hand through his hair, soothing him so he wouldn't freak out and stop.

When they finally parted to sleep and Harry was lying nestled for the night in Severus' arms, Harry thought he never wanted to leave their tent again, if staying there meant they could remain as they were in that moment. Somewhere not a million miles away, however, reality was preparing to pay them a visit.

A furiously intense pain in his arm suddenly woke Severus, he reached out to grasp the source of his agony and found a hand already gripped tightly around it, the nails digging into his skin.

"Harry?" Severus called.

No answer.

"Shit." Severus said fumbling around for his wand so that he could have a little light to see by. "So, it's going to be like that is it?" Severus grumbled angrily. "Can't even let the poor boy have his sleep now?"

Severus gathered Harry into his arms, prising his hand away from his own arm as Harry screamed and writhed. Severus did his best to take charge of Harry's arms to stop him harming himself or anything else. Harry resisted him with strength but Severus was able to manage. It was just a little bit worse than the previous time. Severus held him firmly against his chest so that he wouldn't be able to get his arms up but without having to risk bruising him by holding his arms. They really didn't need any lasting reminders of the visions to see all through the day too. Severus was in a way glad of all the clothes they wore, he would certainly have a bruise on his arm and he really didn't want Harry to be able to see it.

Eventually Harry calmed and lay limp in Severus' arms. He didn't try to rouse Harry, he had tried to use his healing to bring him round quicker the last time, and he now knew that Harry was immune to it, after the visions at least. When he was sure there would be no more restraint needed Severus eased Harry down onto his back and settled down as if to sleep with all their covers in place. Then, with more ease than last time, Severus managed to turn Harry onto his side so that he could hold him close with Harry's head on his shoulder. Severus leant down to kiss Harry's forehead and he lay stroking his back hoping that, on some level, Harry would know he was there for him.

When Harry woke Severus was asleep as last time. His arms were wrapped around him and he lay in a comfortable position more reminiscent of how they usually slept. He wished that he could just lie there, feeling the comfort of Severus' warmth, but this time he had to wake him. This time he had recognised the person who had died although not his family. He was sure that it didn't place them in imminent danger, not yet, but it certainly led Harry to believe that their time was now running out.

"Sev?" Harry said gently rocking Severus' shoulder. Like the last time, he wasn't deeply asleep.

"Hmm?"

"Sev, I need to tell you something." Harry persevered.

Severus made his best effort to wake up and after a minute or two they lay by wand light, Severus waiting anxiously for Harry to tell him.

"About the vision?" Severus asked, already knowing the answer.

Harry nodded. "It was the man who was with you at the train station, his family as well I presume."

"He was a known member of the Order." Severus tried to rationalise.

"And suddenly you believe in coincidences?" Harry challenged.

"Ah, you remember. No, just trying not to think the worst, Harry." Severus said softly.

"He knew." Harry added. "He knew about us and now he's dead."

"And the person in your last vision didn't. In any case, he might well have unwittingly killed off one of his chances of knowing and nobody knows where we are now. I bought the ticket to Inverness on my own, we were the only two who knew where we were starting off from."

"Oh, Sev, I'm almost starting to believe it." Harry said a tear forming in his eye.

Severus leant forward and kissed it away, then pulled Harry into his arms.

"We can try and head a bit nearer to civilisation tomorrow, see if we can catch some obscure little village bus to somewhere. Sound all right?" Severus suggested.

"What else can we do?" Harry replied taking refuge in Severus' arms, wanting him to know what to do and to lead the way.

"I don't know." Severus replied holding Harry tight. "Though it is worth baring in mind that you are seeing only what the Dark Lord wants you to see, not the whole picture by any means. We cannot be sure what has really happened." He added.

Harry found Severus' neck was very close to him, as he lay nestled into his shoulder. He nibbled at the skin not knowing what else to do, but knowing now where he could find some comfort. Severus brought one of Harry's hands up to his lips and he gently kissed the palm.

Note: Gaelic - Bas aithghearr sudden death

I will be posting the next chapter midweek this time (around 12th Nov).

Thanks to all who review, your comments remain invaluable and all suggestions are seriously considered.


	13. The Castle Wall

Author's Note: This one's a bit earlier than advertised, but it was finished so I thought I might as well post it. 

Kristine Thorne - This one is for you, well the bit before the nasty stuff anyway. I seem to remember Harry and Sev buying some bananas, hmm...

LeeLeePotter: Hi, I kind of stole a phrase from one of the reviews, hope you don't mind, it fitted nicely.

Warning: Character Death and plenty words to do it with :) Not Sev ok, NOT Sev. Or Harry. Character Damage: temporary, this just means there is a bit of TLC in the next chapter.

Next chapter will be posted by Saturday 16th Nov.

Reviewers list at the end.

Chapter Summary: A bit of sword stuff and the Dark Lord uses his stunning and persuasive social skills to win Harry over to the Dark side.

Chapter Thirteen - The Castle Wall 

Despite the promise of 'one a day', the Dark Lord was truer to his reputation and Harry found that as they walked towards Fort William, he suffered no further visions. They were nearly there now. He couldn't forget about the visions, however, he was always waiting, knowing without doubt that they would soon come. It would be Christmas soon, Harry thought as they continued on their daily walk, the snow falling at their feet. Harry found himself thinking of his friends more and more, they had shared Harry's only happy Christmases together, and they hadn't been parted from each other for years. This would be their first year apart since he had left his old life behind. There would be no Christmas sweater from Mrs Weasley this year. This was the first year that he could really have used one.

It was freezing cold and had been snowing off and on for a few days. For some strange reason they were still heading north, though Harry supposed it didn't matter, since he thought he would have to reach Spain before he would be warm again. He found he lived for the evenings, too cold and too dark to do anything else, invariably they found themselves snuggled up in bed after their training, it was a hard life. Well, it WAS a hard life; actually, snuggling was the best bit with little competition from other activities.

Harry was holding Sev's hand, which was a nice bit too; they walked really close now that it had got cold because Harry's hand was in Sev's coat pocket along with Sev's own.

"Did you feel possessive towards your brother?" Harry asked, rather suddenly it would appear, judging by Severus' surprise.

"Why do you ask?" Severus replied making it clear that he was open to conversation on the topic.

"I was just wondering how much of our relationship is due to us and how much is the Kin Bond."

"Without an 'us' there is no Kin Bond, yet once the Kin Bond is formed it has power, mostly only when we hold the sword. We feed off it and it feeds off 'us'. Part of the power remains within us as long as we both live, some comes to us only when we connect with the sword. When we are both holding the swords you will kill anybody who threatens me, without a second's hesitation. Without the sword you will be very possessive, but will be capable of reason, hesitation. You will make the decision to kill anybody who threatens me and I may have the opportunity to stop you, but nobody else could once the decision was made." Severus explained. "Well, perhaps Albus, he could." Severus added on reflection. "As for my brother, the answer is yes, as the eldest he was fiercely possessive of me. Our relationship was a lot more intense than it had been before the Bond, though it was brotherly still, not like it is between you and me. You will feel intensely possessive of me; I am your power in addition to everything else that exists between us. When my brother died I felt like I had lost everything, I was a hollow shell. Without power, without love, without hope, everything was gone. All I wanted was to kill the one responsible and die myself; there simply wasn't anything else, no reason to continue. With a Kin Bond there is very little room for anybody else, a few friends, maybe. Hence the necessity for two Kin to be able to have a child together, there is no room for an additional spouse, and in the interests of the preservation of the wizarding world, you can't have too many powerful wizards dying without issue."

Well, Harry thought, he had asked and Severus had certainly answered him. "But there aren't that many swords, why does it matter?" Harry asked while he had Severus talking.

"Do you think it fair to deny someone the joy of bringing a life into this world just for the sake of a little power? When the devotion they have for each other is so unwavering, so strong?" Severus defended a bit snappily. "In addition, the children born of such a Bond are quite exceptional, gifted." He added.

"So I must, if we survive." Harry said hardly believing he was having this conversation.

"No, you don't have to. No." Severus replied. "We already said we weren't going to, don't worry. I was just talking about the theory behind the swords, not about us in particular."

Harry couldn't remember when they had decided for sure that they wouldn't. It was more like Sev had decided for them, he couldn't understand either, why he felt so disappointed. He didn't even understand what Sev actually wanted, one minute he was defending in favour, the next, backing away as if he couldn't bear to consider it.

They soon came across a fence and letting go of Severus' hand for a short while, Harry climbed over and landed safely on his feet despite the snow and the ice.

"Well, that should answer a few of your questions regarding the Kin Bond, the power and the sword." Severus commented as he took Harry's hand again.

"I retain some of the balance and coordination from the sword, so I don't fall flat on my face any longer." Harry said smiling up at Severus.

"Yes." Severus answered amiably. "Would you like a banana?"

The conversation clearly at its conclusion anyway, Harry gladly accepted the offer of fruit. Bananas were very handy for walkers, in that they came with their own cover so they didn't get your hand sticky when you ate them.

Harry pealed the skin back and took a small bite. Harry looked up at his Kin as they walked, and saw that Severus had inserted his banana into his mouth by nearly three inches before he bit it off. Oh, how his mind wandered sometimes, Harry thought, as he looked at the ground, feeling his face turn a little red at the thoughts suddenly running through his brain. Severus, being merely hungry, remained oblivious to the excitation he had caused.

Severus had only just managed to fall asleep when he felt the excruciatingly painful grip on his arm again. Harry had already been lying against his chest and since Severus had only just fallen asleep he still had his arms wrapped around him.

"Sev." Harry managed to say as the pain surged through his body. "This is really bad."

Severus tried to place a hand on Harry's skin, to take some of the pain, but the force behind the visions repelled his attempts. Although he could only take a small amount of the pain, he could feel it dramatically draining his strength as he did so. It appeared that there really was nothing that Severus could do for Harry. Accept hold him, that was something.

"I won't let go of you, you'll be all right." Severus tried to reassure though he didn't believe it himself.

"This is killing me." Harry managed to say pressing his forehead against Severus' chest, barely audible as he fell into the unconsciousness that always preceded the seizures taking over.

As before, Harry suddenly went limp in Severus' arms after the pain ceased. He quickly sat up, pulling both the rucksacks over to support his back, getting Harry into the position that was most effective for the coming attack. There was just a few seconds of calm before the seizures began to make Harry's body jerk violently. His hands tried to claw at his scar but Severus already had him in the hold he needed to prevent him succeeding. Every muscle in Harry's body contracted one after the other as the convulsions continued, Harry had been right, this was very bad.

As it continued, Severus found that he was having difficulty holding him as he tried to claw at his scar much more strongly than he had before. Instead of reaching their target, Harry's fingers pressed into Severus' back, somehow his hands had got beneath his shirt but there was nothing he could do about it. He felt the nails cutting through skin, drawing blood, and then re-scratching at open wounds that had been clawed before. It was agony. but he had endured worse and he was determined to endure this now. Though some time in the near future, he may suggest that Harry started to bite his nails like every other normal teenager.

The convulsions didn't ease off; when they had reached their previous peak of intensity they got even more violent. It seemed like it had been going on for a very long time. but then Harry didn't get calmer, he began to shake so violently that Severus was losing his grip. His legs were kicking as if to pull away from Severus and his arms had ceased to wound him but were trying to get round Severus' chest, pushing palms into his ribs. It was becoming much more like determined movement, than the random twitching of a fit, though Harry still trembled as well.

"You, you get away from me." Harry suddenly mumbled, the trembling having stopped and the movements definitely determined.

"Lie still Harry." Severus tried to tell him but Harry didn't respond to his words.

When next Severus saw Harry's face he noted that, although his eyes were now open, they were blank and staring, wild and unseeing, obviously he was still locked in the vision somehow, in some way.

"Get off me you bastard!" Harry suddenly yelled trying to pull away from Severus with a determined effort. Severus managed to hold him but he was really hoping that it wouldn't last much longer.

"I don't want to hurt you, but I can't let you go. Please be still." Severus said trying in vain to reach Harry.

Harry continued to struggle. "You killed them, you killed them all!" Harry screamed.

"Harry, calm down love, shh, be still." Severus persevered pointlessly.

"You will not hurt my friends." Harry continued, Severus using all the strength he had to hold him. "I will kill you first." Harry's hand shot down Severus back, his nails digging into and gouging through the wounds already inflicted. Severus flinched, his hold relaxed for a split second with the sudden pain. Harry took advantage and the next thing Severus knew Harry was kneeling before him, a murderous expression on his face, his eyes still staring. He swung his arm back and struck Severus across the face with the back of his hand. The strength of it knocked Severus backwards so he was ill prepared for the second fisted blow. Harry was towering over him as he lay on his side when he attempted a third. Severus put his arms up to his head instinctively and the next successful blow was a fist to his abdomen instead. He forced himself to sit despite the pain; he had to get hold of Harry again. Locked in the vision Harry seemed to think that Severus was the Dark Lord, at least that was how it appeared. Not good, considering what Harry wanted to do to the Dark Lord, if he could.

Severus didn't have much time to think, he had managed to get hold of Harry's wrist as he aimed to hit him again but Harry's other hand had grasped a handful of his hair. Severus really hoped that Harry wouldn't go for a wand or the either of the swords. He was having enough trouble with the physical strength without adding magic to the mix. Harry struggled to get his wrist back, his eyes still eerie and black, staring at nothing, as if blind. Severus took hold of his other wrist as well but couldn't think of how he could get him to let go of his hair.

"You can not have me, I will not come." Harry shouted at whatever he thought he saw. Harry's hand loosened off Severus' hair and Harry twisted his arm making it impossible for Severus to keep a hold of his wrist. Severus tried to grab at him again but he lost his grip on Harry's other wrist too. Harry didn't try to beat him again; he scrambled out of the tent, opening the zip with horrifying speed.

When Severus had managed to get outside too, he found that Harry was running away through the snow and into the darkness. Fortunately there was enough moonlight to see by and Severus ran after Harry, glad that they had gone to bed with their boots still on. Harry's unseeing eyes couldn't help him much with the terrain and he stumbled a few times. Severus managed to catch up with him, grabbing Harry round his waist and his shoulders.

They wrestled to the ground, Severus trying his best not to hurt him but not seeing how he could avoid it now. Harry slipped from his grip easily and stood up. He brought his foot back and kicked Severus in the chest as he lay still curled up on the ground and then again. The pain took his breath away and Severus could do very little as Harry ran off again across the rocky ground. He managed to pull himself to a sitting position, his hand pressed to his side where he knew a rib or two must be broken. He had no choice, he had to get up, and he had to stop Harry somehow.

Severus had an idea of how he could stop him, if only the vision's power would let him and if only he could catch up with Harry again. Severus pulled himself up onto his feet and tried to run after Harry again, bracing his hand against his chest. Fortunately Harry was tiring; Severus gave up thanks to whomever, for Harry's weight loss and the day's walking they had put in. Harry ran still but he was stumbling more, as Severus got close he fell, having tripped on a rock.

Severus pounced on Harry, managing to ignore the pain in his determination not to let him run straight into the Dark Lord hands. Harry struggled fiercely but he did not know what Severus was trying to do and so could not prevent him effectively. Severus didn't try to restrain Harry by his arms, he let him punch him as much as he liked. He grabbed Harry round the waist and pulled his shirt up. Severus ignored the writhing as Harry tried to struggle free and concentrated on his goal.

Severus' hands were touching Harry's skin; he could use his healing if the vision would let him. He tried to concentrate, there was a technique for controlling pain in an emergency, when there was severe trauma, it would last about eight hours then gradually wear off over the following four. It wasn't interfering with the vision's power directly so he thought it might work. He made a fist with one hand and pressed it firmly to Harry's spine with the other, and then he connected with the flowing nerve energy, slowing the energy travelling from the spinal cord, but unlike how it would usually be done, leaving that flowing to it alone to allow sensation. He slowed the energy till it barely moved at all. He was glad that he had become as skilled as he was in the healing arts, this wasn't something just anybody could do, not safely. Although Harry continued to struggle with his arms, opting to scratch Severus' back again, his legs had gone completely still.

"What have you done to me, you bastard? I was coming to you." Harry shouted, tears forming in his lifeless eyes, as Severus prised Harry's arms away from his back and tried to cradle Harry, as he was accustomed to do. Harry struggled in the hold; trying to scratch at anything he could get contact with.

Severus quickly came to the decision that what he had done so far was not enough, though he couldn't risk the same technique higher up. He considered briefly that Harry wasn't going to be very happy with him when he came round, but he couldn't face having to restrain him any longer. He couldn't bear having to watch him being like this any longer. Knowing that Harry couldn't now go very far, Severus let go of one of his arms and held the other in both hands. He held him just below the shoulder and using his ability to drain strength he massaged the muscles all the way down to the fingertips, the arm going floppy in his hands as he did so. He tried to ignore Harry's crying as he did the same with the other arm.

"Forgive me." Severus whispered, shivering as he suddenly noticed the biting cold and the snow he was sitting on and that Harry was lying amongst. He really needed to get them both back inside the tent and somehow they would have to take one of the potions to warm them, before they died of nothing more than the cold.

"Let me go, I have to stop it, let me go." Harry said, the tears streaming down his face, his eyes still blank. "You can have me! I tried to come to you, take me, not them."

Severus lifted Harry's limp body up in his arms despite the intense pain in his side and began the walk back to the tent. Harry was still locked in the vision pleading with the Dark Lord to kill him, in order to save, as yet, nameless others. Tears came to Severus' own eyes, as he listened to it all, so close to his ears as if said solely for him.

Severus managed to get Harry back into bed, resorting to a little sword-powered levitation in order to do so as quickly as possible. He then took the potion case out of his rucksack by wand light, as Harry lay still unable to move, and continued to denounce Severus as if he were the Dark Lord. Severus only had a couple of phials; he wished that he had known they were going to be travelling in the winter, so he could have brought more. He was lucky that he had thought to pack any at all. It was a warming potion that he had intended for use if one of them had fallen in a river or something like that, an unexpected accident. He swallowed one phial down himself and climbed into bed so that he was lying next to Harry. He could feel the warmth flowing through him already, warming everything but his emotionally chilled heart.

Somehow Severus had to get Harry to drink the potion despite the fact that he thought he was the Dark Lord. 'Open up' wasn't likely to work. Harry lay staring blankly past Severus, the crying and the pleading now stopped. Severus grabbed at Harry's hair, remembering the rough treatment he had had at the hands of his Uncle Dursley from the Pensieve. Harry reacted instinctively to the touch and gasped, Severus tipped the potion into his open mouth, and then held his head in both hands; so that he couldn't spit it back out. After as much resistance as he could put up, Harry eventually swallowed.

"I hate you!" Harry shouted, the crying beginning again as soon as Severus released his hold. "You bastard. You bastard. You killed them all." Harry sobbed over and over.

Severus lay next to Harry, he had positioned him on his side, Severus had wrapped an arm round him but lay with his head at a distance, since Harry had tried to strike him with the only movement that he had, as soon as Severus had got close enough. All he could do was wait till it was over, he could not risk sleep, and it promised to be a very long night.

Severus' eyes were just beginning to close, despite his best efforts to stay awake, when Harry cried out in pain. It was more like the cry of pain prior to a vision, rather than the sobbing of emotional pain that had preceded it. Severus pulled himself up slightly to look down at Harry, his eyes were closed and his chest, neck and head were all convulsing as if inside another vision. The healing magic he had used was still effective in stopping any other movement. Severus sighed, another vision, he really hoped that Harry came out of this one all right. He didn't know what else he could do, he didn't know what he could do if Harry didn't come back to him. He couldn't help thinking that it might not happen, Harry seemed so far away from him now. Severus wondered if he would have the strength to put an end to it, if all he was left with was a breathing corpse.

Harry's Perspective

"This is killing me." Harry managed to say to Severus, he pressed his forehead against Severus' chest, trying to fight the unconsciousness that always preceded the seizures taking over but knowing that it was pointless. This was going to be a bad one and he had tried to warn Sev, but he didn't think he had communicated it very well and he knew that Sev didn't understand.

It all began in a familiar enough way, a group of cloaked Death Eaters, a field, a garden; a house and inside a family. Harry saw them all killed and didn't recognise a single one of them, he wondered at the Dark Lord's lack of imagination.

Then the scene changed, a castle wall, no, not just any castle wall. The school, it was the western wall of the school. Harry could see the Quidditch pitch, the edge of the forbidden forest and the outline of the lake in the moonlight as they flew overhead, swooping down towards the battlements. They rose up again; Harry flew with over a hundred Death Eaters. The wards didn't prevent the attack, no alarm sounded, nobody became alerted, and the grounds were empty, only a few rooms had illuminated windows. Harry watched in horror as they circled the Headmaster's tower, everybody below them completely oblivious.

The scene changed again, Harry was marching across grass with a group of twenty this time, a larger number than the group sent to kill the family. A few of the Death Eaters laughed as they approached the house, Harry recognised it, and he knew where they were. He knew why they numbered so many.

"The Weasley household." One Death Eater said laughing. "Do you think there are enough of us to kill them all?"

Harry tried to grab one of the Death Eaters but he found that within the vision he had no tangible existence. He could see his own hand but it went straight through the Death Eater when he tried to make contact. Harry tried to reach for his sword but he was wearing the clothes he had planned to sleep in, just his shirt, pants and boots. Why hadn't he taken the boots off? Harry pondered for a second.

The Death Eaters were at the front door; all the lights were off, they were attacking in the dead of night. Suddenly Harry found himself within the body of a Death Eater, peering out from beneath a black hood, and wand in hand. The door flew open and they all rushed inside, winding round the familiar clutter of the kitchen till they found the staircase. They flooded up the staircase in a swish of cloaks, Harry headed for Ginny's bedroom. As Harry burst into her room he found that she was reading by wand light underneath the covers. At the intrusion she pulled the covers back and stared in terror as Harry the Death Eater raised his wand. Harry couldn't understand why Ginny was there, she should have been at school.

"Moran craidh!" Harry the Death Eater called pointing the wand at Ginny and laughing. Ginny doubled up in pain, her face contorted in agony for a matter of seconds. It was just a game, he was playing with her, and Ginny knew what was coming next, it was clear from the expression on her face.

"Bas aithghearr!" Harry the Death Eater called.

As the curse struck Ginny she crumpled back onto the bed, her face expressionless and dead.

Harry separated from the Death Eater's body as he turned to go, not even bothering to check that Ginny was dead because there was no need. Harry rushed behind him as he joined the others, their task complete in a matter of minutes, all the bedroom doors were open except for Ron's, the Death Eaters were not interested in that room.

As they left the house Harry briefly wondered where Ron could have gotten to, he didn't want to consider that they had merely switched room allocation in The Burrow; Ron had to be alive, he just had to be. But he should have been there and yet wasn't.

The scene switched again, Harry was flying high above the castle once more. He knew, being in a Death Eater's body again, that it was still term time, nearly the Christmas holidays, but not quite. The castle would be full of students all tucked up in the dormitories, thinking they were safe. They were circling the Headmaster's tower again. All of the Death Eaters had their wands drawn ready to strike. Harry couldn't understand why it was happening, the castle was protected, had been at least. They were going for Albus; surely he would know that they were. Surely Albus wouldn't still be there to be taken unawares.

Harry saw himself raise his wand and point it at the tower, he was to be inside a Death Eater again for the attack.

"Sgain!" Harry the Death Eater called and the other Death Eaters followed his lead from their respective positions surrounding the tower. Bolts of blue lighting were emitted from the wands and hit the tower almost simultaneously. All the Death Eaters swooped out of the way as explosion after explosion blew the tower apart till all that was left was a doorway and the open air. Chunks of rubble and broken furniture flew in all directions and Harry could see very little detail of what happened next, as they were flying away from the castle to escape the debris.

Suddenly they were heading back to the castle again. As they flew closer Harry could see people in the grounds, scenes of panic. His vision went black and when he could see again he found that he was standing in a stone walled room and the Dark Lord himself stood before him, smiling an evil and triumphant smile. The Dark Lord advanced on Harry, approaching him.

"You, you get away from me." Harry said desperately trying to back away, he couldn't move much though for some reason.

The Dark Lord reached out to him and grabbed Harry's arm, he tried desperately to shake him off.

"Get off me you bastard!" Harry shouted struggling in the grip as hard as he could, he could not get away. They were in a sealed room anyway; he didn't know where he thought he was going to go. Harry continued to struggle even though he knew it was pointless. "You killed them, you killed them all!" he said feeling the tears come to his eyes.

"I haven't killed anybody, my Death Eaters did the work, and you Harry, you killed Ginny. How did it feel? To play with her first then strike her down. She was a sweet first for you, she didn't even scream. It's much more fun when they scream, you will find that out soon enough. Now, who next I wonder? We are circling the castle, who might be there do you think? Any of your friends, perhaps?

"You will not hurt my friends." Harry said determined. "I will kill you first."

"And how do you propose to do that, little one?" the Dark Lord asked.

Suddenly Harry was free and he reached for his wand but he didn't have it with him. He stared at the Dark Lord in horror, he didn't even know if they were really having this conversation or not. It was like a vision but they could touch each other, this was different to anything he had ever experienced before. Could the Dark Lord be killed like any other person Harry wondered? Could he do it here in the vision? Was this vision different enough from the others? He lashed out at the Dark Lord, even if he could stun him a little he might be able to find a way to get away. He couldn't just stand there and do nothing, no matter how futile his actions were. The Dark Lord merely let the blows rain down on him and laughed.

"You will come to me now, you will know the way." The Dark Lord commanded and the scene changed. They weren't in the room now; they were both standing in a field out in the open air beneath a cloudless sky.

"You can not have me, I will not come." Harry insisted as he turned to run.

Harry didn't know where he was going but he knew that he must not stop, not for anything. Behind him, he could still hear the Dark Lord laughing. All he knew was that he mustn't stop. He fell to the ground and struggled to his feet, he began to run again, it was all that mattered. The Dark Lord was suddenly in front of him.

"You can't run away from me, whichever way you turn, it will lead you to me, this is my vision after all. If you keep running, if you come with me everybody will be saved, otherwise I will kill them all and you will watch. Actually, I think you will do it yourself, inside one of my loyal servants. If you want your friends to die, just stand still, it's all you can do."

Harry kept on running, he wasn't even aware he had made a decision, he just kept on running. It was much easier to keep on going than to make a decision to stop. He fell to the ground.

Harry tried to get back onto his feet, knowing that the lives of everybody he knew, and many who he didn't, depended on him. He must run, he must give himself to the Dark Lord. He had to get up but his legs wouldn't move. The Dark Lord stood before him shaking his head.

"I see you have made your choice, very well." The Dark Lord said turning and walking away.

The tears came to Harry's eyes as he struggled against his suddenly weakened body.

"What have you done to me, you bastard? I was coming to you." He sobbed. The tears wouldn't stop; Harry felt his arms becoming weak too. As he watched the Dark Lord disappear in the distance he found that he could barely move. He could lift his head but nothing more.

"Let me go, I have to stop it, let me go." Harry cried out to whatever, whoever was preventing him from moving. "You can have me! I tried to come to you, take me, not them." Harry tried to call out to the Dark Lord who he could no longer see. Still he lay on the ground unable to move.

"Please come back and kill me, please. Please come back." Harry sobbed over and over as he floated above the ground somehow. He was moving away from where he had seen the Dark Lord, he still couldn't move, something else was taking him away.

"I hate you!" Harry cried out to whatever was controlling him now. "You bastard. You bastard. You killed them all." He directed at the Dark Lord, knowing it was futile, but knowing also that the Dark Lord could hear him still. Harry was moved onto his side and his head began to feel and his sight began to fade to blackness again, he fought it, repeatedly denouncing the Dark Lord to save himself from falling into the oblivion that threatened to take him. There was pain, pain in his head that would not cease. Pain that seared through his body till he felt his sight get worse and he reluctantly gave himself up to the darkness which readily engulfed him.

Harry was with the Death Eaters again, circling the castle, some of the inhabitants spilling out onto the grounds in panic. Some had been struck by flying masonry and lay dead already. He felt joy at it all. They swooped down amongst the panicked crowd and cast curses in every direction, many of them fell to the ground, some in pain, some with a surprised look on their faces. Harry recognised some of the older students from amongst the crowd, he recognised some of the teachers. Harry was still a Death Eater and they outnumbered the castle inhabitants many times. It was all out war and Harry didn't know how many he killed or who they were as they struck curses all around them again, then landed on the ground and advanced on the castle doors.

The Death Eaters swept into the castle, spreading out. Some went up the stairs, some to the great hall. Harry followed the group into the great hall, his wand ready to cast down anybody he should meet. They were only five in number; maybe they hadn't expected to find anybody in the hall at so late an hour.

They flooded though the doors and Harry saw what he had dreaded seeing. At the end of the hall in front of the teacher's dining table stood Ron, his wand drawn. Behind him stood a class size of timid first years, they all stared at the onslaught of cloaked Death Eaters with a terror so intense that they couldn't move.

Ron stood bravely before the children as the Death Eaters approached, his wand raised, ready to do battle if he could. Harry wanted to shout to him, but instead saw his wand hand rise to take aim. What was Ron doing at Hogwarts anyway? They had all graduated. Harry thought as he braced himself for what he was about to see.

The other Death Eaters had their wands aimed too. The children began to scream and one Death Eater directed a curse at Ron and a Death Eater standing further away diffusely directed another at the group. Harry couldn't hear what curses they used for the piercing screams of the children's cries. Harry watched as his friend Ron and a couple of the children fell lifeless to the ground. More curses followed, although the children had found their feet and began to retreat, it was too late and they were all lying dead on the floor of the great hall within seconds. The hall had gone quiet; all Harry could hear was the breath of the Death Eater standing next to him. Harry felt himself separating from the body of the Death Eater he had been inside and his sight faded to blackness.

Gaelic - Sgain blow up; explode

Moran craidh much pain

Coming in Chapter Fourteen: Aftermath: TLC after the biggie vision and Harry discovers the ideal way to relieve his distress and show his appreciation for his protector, is to ravish a sleeping Sev.

Chapter Fifteen: It's Christmas Eve and while searching for a place to camp Harry and Sev meet some Muggles.

Reviewers: Thanks again for your support, comments and advice :)


	14. Aftermath

Author's Note: I would like to confirm at this point that there will be a nice yummy, happy ending. Things will pick up a bit soon as Harry and Sev discover something unexpected and harry unravels a bit of the mystery surrounding the voice. Chapter Fourteen - Aftermath 

The vision had eventually ended and no more had followed. Harry now lay unconscious and all Severus could do was wait. He couldn't risk sleep, he no idea whether it would all start up again or even if Harry might die. Severus was lying on his side, holding Harry close to him, he could feel him breathing, slow and even, he didn't have to check. Harry hadn't been unconscious any longer than before but Severus couldn't help being very worried. It was clear that the vision had been a lot more severe; Harry himself had thought so before he fell into it.

The first indication that Severus got that Harry was coming round was from the tilt of Harry's head as he tried to look behind him. It made Severus jump since he didn't know if he really had Harry back, or if it was just part of the vision still.

"Sev?" Harry said softly and sounding a little bit panicked.

Severus remembered about what he had done to control Harry. "It's all right, it will wear off." Severus tried to reassure, expecting a bit of trouble from his Kin over the matter.

"Sev, I feel really sick." Harry said.

Severus pulled himself up as quickly as he could and lifted Harry, turning him over onto his front just in time. Severus couldn't help twisting his face a little; grimacing at the pain it caused him, he hated this sort of thing. He reached for his sword so that he could clear all the mess away as quickly as possible.

When Harry was sure that he was feeling a lot less nauseous Severus turned him over onto his back and pulled the rucksack under his head so that he was raised a little. Harry looked up at him and Severus saw his expression change and tears form in his eyes.

"I can give you some strength back in your arms but the rest will have to wear off on its own, and it will over the next few hours." Severus said taking up one of Harry's arms.

Harry nodded still staring at Severus. He was biting his lip. Severus massaged his arm, looking down at his work even though he didn't need to, not wanting to see how upset Harry was, not yet. Then he took up the other arm and massaged some strength into that one also.

Harry tried to raise his hand up to Severus as he worked on the other one. It wasn't completely back to normal though and he found that he could only move it so far and it felt like jelly. Severus finished with his other arm but it felt the same.

"Sev?"

"Yes."

"Lift my hand up to your face." Harry commanded.

Severus took one of Harry's hands and placed it against his cheek.

Harry rolled his eyes like he had seen Severus do countless times. "To the hurt side." Harry said not quite matching Snape's legendary snappiness.

His hand might feel useless, but he still thought he could heal with it, if Severus would maintain the contact for him. He couldn't bear to look at him like that any longer, knowing that he had been the cause of it. He had to reduce the swelling and the bruising for Severus' comfort as well as for his own guilt.

Severus had almost forgotten about what he would look like, with all the worry over Harry, he had forgotten about himself. He felt the warmth of Harry's healing as he held his hand to his face, he could feel the swelling go down and the pain ease. He didn't tell Harry about his other injuries, he didn't want to tire him out.

"Do you have any pain?" Severus asked as he lowered Harry's hand again, his face back to normal.

"No, just achy, nothing much." Harry answered. "You should have done it sooner."

"Done what?"

"Whatever it was you did to stop me running away." Harry said.

"I didn't want to." Severus said snuggling back down underneath the covers to keep warm.

"I think you must. If you do it before we go to bed it will have worn off by morning, is that correct?" Harry suggested.

"Yes, by the time we have had breakfast, it may have done. It lasts about twelve hours."

"Then that's what we will do. I do not want to wake up in the middle of nowhere, not knowing where I am or where you are."

"Yes, with your permission, I will. Though you would most likely die of the cold before you woke up, at this time of year."

Harry smiled grimly. "He doesn't even need to come anywhere near me does he?"

"He will have to, because I won't let it happen any other way." Severus asserted, lying once more with his arm protectively round Harry's waist, the palm of his hand resting on the Talisman that still lay beneath the bandaging. "Though he might not try that method again, if he knows he can't get you that way."

"Maybe, but will you do it for a while, till we're sure?" Harry asked.

Severus stroked a hand through Harry's hair. "Of course I will, I don't want to lose you either."

"I need to tell you about the vision." Harry told Severus, he already knew it had been a serious one and he needed to know as soon as possible.

"You should be able to show me, you don't need to talk." Severus suggested. "I'll get the swords and you will just have to say a little before we connect. You were so good at this the last time."

"If you're sure you want this living and breathing inside your head." Harry warned.

"You have it in yours, that's enough for me to want it too." Severus said pushing himself up a bit so he could get the swords from their coat pockets.

Severus placed Harry's sword in his hand for him and although he couldn't grip it very well the serpents didn't seem to mind and they wound round his wrist anyway. Severus took hold of his sword too and they pulled the sleeping bag so high it was nearly over their heads. Then Harry began to tell Severus about the vision, trying to make the connection and it wasn't long before he could stop speaking and let Severus experience it for himself as they relived it together.

As they finished the exchange and Severus broke the connection, the tears were flowing down Harry's face unchecked. Severus certainly joined with him in the emotion but could not express it as dramatically. He tried to send Harry some comfort.

"Oh, the children, Sev, the children." Harry sobbed against Severus' chest his breathing difficult. "And Ron, the great hall, all the screaming children huddled behind him and a wave of curses. He fell, Sev, I saw it. He was telling the children to run but they couldn't move, they were so frightened. Ron stood before them all and fell. They came past curfew, everybody had gone to bed and suddenly they came."

Severus knew better than to interrupt him or try to calm him. He just held him tightly in his arms and let him tell whatever he needed to say even though they had already connected through it all. Severus gently rocked Harry as he clung to him, his grip still a little weak but returning, the tears still streaming down his soft pale face.

Harry eventually calmed and then slept for a while. Severus kept watch over him, feeling exhausted but as yet unable to sleep.

When Harry woke he could move a lot easier, but chose to remain where he was in Severus' arms.

"I don't think we're going anywhere today." Severus said kissing Harry on the forehead.

"I'll try, I might be all right for a short distance." Harry offered.

"No, just rest." Severus said more worried about his own ribs than Harry's ability to walk. If Harry had been a bit unsteady, normally he would have been able to support him. He didn't know if he could bear to carry the rucksack until his ribs stopped screaming at him though. He had to face it, he was going to have to tell Harry, there was no way it was going to heal itself before morning.

They were facing each other and Harry wrapped an arm round Severus and he felt comforted by it. Harry tried to rub Severus' back a little as he rested his eyes once more. His hand touched the unhealed wounds and Severus couldn't help the flinch. The cleaning charm had taken care of most of the blood but it hadn't healed the scratched wounds.

Harry pulled himself up and pulled Severus' shirt up to take a look, there was no point protesting. At least, Severus thought, he wouldn't need to confess any longer.

Harry looked horrified when he lay back down. "What else?" He demanded.

Severus took Harry's hand and placed it on his chest where the broken ribs were.

Harry didn't say anything, he just pressed his hand on the skin and healed Severus again.

"You'll weaken yourself." Severus tried to warn him.

"I don't care, we're not going anywhere today anyway." Harry countered. Severus gave in and let Harry do what he was beginning to be quite good at. Harry healed Severus' back next, using both hands, then flopped back down onto his rucksack feeling thoroughly drained.

"Are you still feeling sick?" Severus asked.

"No, you can make me something to eat later." Harry replied.

"I will certainly do that, just say when you're hungry." Severus replied, drawing Harry into his embrace once again.

"I think Albus must be dead." Harry said suddenly.

Severus could only agree, though he was certain that he could not have been sitting in the tower waiting for it, as Harry was meant to believe from the vision.

"I think we need to go over what you've seen so far, make some sense of it." Severus suggested.

"It seems pretty clear." Harry commented.

"He's only showing you what he wants you to see, we can make use of that and perhaps figure out what is really happening."

"You agree that Albus is dead."

"But I doubt it happened through the destruction of the tower. Think about it."

"I don't want to." Harry complained.

Severus hugged Harry close. "I know, so I'll start, just listen." Severus began. "At the Weasleys, Ginny was home but she should have been at school. In the school grounds, following the destruction of the tower, you saw older students and teachers. Inside there was your friend Ron and a small selection of children you took to be first years. They were dressed for bed."

"Yes, that's what I saw."

"Well, let's assume for a moment that it really did happen like that. It hardly sounds like a regular school term. I doubt as many have died as you think."

"Still too many."

"I know. I think they were going for the Talisman. I don't think that killing was their primary objective, not this time. I think that the school wasn't running as normal and that most of the students were at home. They will have known you were missing after the attack on the Dursleys. So the Death Eaters think that either you have the Talisman or it's somewhere in the Castle. Hence the Dark Lord is trying his best to draw you out. I think you saw the only children that they did find there. Why would all those teachers be out on the grounds if they had left a whole school's population inside? There would have been panic; you would have seen a lot more. The Dark Lord probably knows now that you have help."

"Does he know it's you?"

"Not from the visions no, but if you were ever holding your sword during a vision he would certainly guess."

"I am blocking him from knowing anything from me."

"It would be in your behaviour." Severus explained. "He would remember from before."

"Would they not think you had the Talisman?" Harry asked.

"A former Death Eater with questionable allegiances? No, they know Albus wouldn't be that stupid."

Harry almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. "Oh Sev." Harry said kissing his Kin. "I just want to go home, I want to see what the truth of it all is. I just want to go back to school."

"But you remember why we can't?"

"Yes, yes. I have to be ready, really ready, because it isn't just about now, or even about our own world. We have the Talisman and when it comes to the Dark Lord I will only have one chance, I must kill him, I must know I can for sure. Otherwise all may be lost."

"If any of them gain possession of the Talisman then you might as well leave the Dark Lord alive."

"Oh Sev."

"You'll be all right Harry." Severus tried to reassure. "I know it sounds grim now, but we are becoming very strong. We just need the time."

"The Bichun Kin was our only hope." Harry said.

"Yes." Severus replied. "So it's probably just as well you don't hate me any more."

Harry answered Severus with a kiss. "But what of Albus?"

"I don't know, not yet, I just know that he must be gone." Severus answered.

Severus had eventually allowed himself to sleep a little, Harry watched over him as he slept. It was growing dark again and Harry was feeling rested although he had a heavy heart, which he didn't think would ease for anything.

Although Harry had no way of knowing how true the vision had been, and he couldn't understand why the Dark lord would have placed Ron separate from his family if it hadn't been real. But he couldn't really think what Ron would be doing at Hogwarts just before the beginning of the school holidays even if the term hadn't been progressing as normal. Especially since Harry hadn't seen Hermione anywhere, they wouldn't be apart surely. It had all been so fast though and through the perspective of a single Death Eater. Hermione could quite easily have been anywhere else in the castle getting killed as well.

Harry watched over Severus who looked strained and tired, though more peaceful than he had been when awake. Thinking of how he had hurt his Kin, hurt him inside nearly as much as knowing that Ron must be dead. Sev hadn't looked at him like everybody else had done after they had witnessed the full horrors of a bad vision. He hadn't shrunk away from him, despite everything that had happened. There hadn't even been the slightest hint of blame in Severus' countenance.

Harry had given Severus quite a good beating for somebody who had been unaware of what he was doing. Usually his random thrashing, hurt people who tried to restrain him, Harry remembered, but Sev looked more like he had received an intentional beating. It looked like there had been something very different about this vision, from Sev's perspective as well as Harry's own.

Harry noticed that Severus' lips were parted slightly. Despite everything, or perhaps because of it, he wanted to join with those lips and make Severus feel something entirely different to pain. Maybe just a little kiss, gently, wouldn't wake him too much and would show him how much the real Harry felt for him.

Harry leant forward, placed a hand on Severus' cheek and lightly kissed him. Severus moved slightly at the contact and his lips parted more. Harry deepened the kiss and his wayward hand reached down to pull Severus' shirt up a little, reaching inside to stroke his chest, to risk a bit lower sometime very soon. Severus' hand was suddenly clamped on Harry's wayward one. Harry gasped, feeling as if he had just been caught stealing.

"At least, my Kin, have the decency to wake me up first." Severus growled at Harry, claiming another kiss and letting Harry's wayward hand continue on its journey.

It wasn't right, Ron was dead and he was kissing Sev, enjoying the feelings that were flooding through him from the contact. No, that wasn't correct, it wasn't mere enjoyment. He needed to feel something, feel like this, just to keep a grip on his sanity, just so that he would want to carry on. So that he wouldn't start screaming and not know when to stop.

Sev understood, he must do, he was answering every advance of Harry's with just as much need and Albus was gone too. Ron was dead; Albus' tower blown to bits, there was nothing they could do. Harry melted into everything that Severus was prepared to offer.

Harry reached round to caress the area that he had so recently healed; it was still a little sensitive, now covered as it was, in fresh new skin. Harry reached up Severus' back as they kissed, gently stroking.

Severus eventually broke off from the kiss, exhaustion threatening to overcome him. Severus took hold of Harry, and after making sure they were lying as they wanted to be, he made sure that Harry couldn't run away again if he had another vision. Harry felt his legs go limp and useless, he confirmed to Severus that he couldn't move, hardly being able to believe that it had come to this. He knew though, that he couldn't allow himself to hurt his Sev again, not if it could be prevented. Severus then snuggled his head into Harry's shoulder as Harry continued to soothingly stroke his back, eventually falling asleep. After a while Harry fell asleep too.

The night had been thankfully vision free and come morning they managed to set off on their travels once more. As Severus had made sure that he had used his healing early enough in the evening, it had successfully worn off by the time they had finished breakfast. They were going a little more slowly, but they were managing.

"Is it nearly Christmas?" Harry asked Severus as they walked, Severus with his arm round Harry so that he could lean into him a little.

"Yes, very nearly, we can check in the next town." Severus suggested.

"They killed all those children so close to Christmas." Harry said the emotion threatening to overwhelm him.

"I know." Severus said knowing that all he could do was be there.

"We can't go on like this much longer." Harry continued. "It is so cold and it can only get colder. We're going to freeze to death before any Death Eater gets anywhere near us. I won't put on any weight if I throw up every morning. He will kill them one by one till there is nobody left and I will see it all."

Severus tried to hug Harry as they walked but he couldn't argue with what he had said. However, they had little choice but to keep on going.

It was getting dark even though it was only late afternoon; they walked down the high street looking for a newsagent shop, so that they could check the date from a newspaper. Severus thought that they were in Onich but for once, he wasn't entirely sure. Sev just wasn't his usual self at all. Well, Albus must have been like a father to him, Harry thought.

"More fucking hippies from that bloody place." An old man grumbled at them as they passed him on the street. They both ignored him, too concerned with their own troubles to even hear. They both went into the shop together, despite the bags and Severus bought them a bar of chocolate while Harry had a quick look at the papers.

"Well?" Severus asked as they stepped outside and he wrestled with the chocolate wrapper.

"Christmas Eve." Harry answered as he took a lump of chocolate from Severus. "All that I saw the other night must have already happened. A week ago maybe."

"So you know you couldn't have stopped it, even if you had gone to him." Severus reminded him.

Harry nodded and sighed. "Stuck out here in the wilderness on bloody Christmas Eve." He grumbled starting to walk down the street.

"It is just like any other day."

"I know." Harry said trudging onwards as Severus took his hand.

"Come on, let's find us somewhere to rest for the night and I'll make you a nice huge bowlful of Horlicks to take to bed." Severus offered.

Harry tried to smile, but it didn't seem to want to come. It was illustrative of their predicament in itself that the promise of a malted hot drink seemed like complete heaven.


	15. Sgoil Dhubh Lodge

Author's Note: This is rated R and I am soon going to be getting into some snuggly stuff between Harry and Sev, if anybody thinks it goes beyond the R rating let me know as this is my first fic on ffnet and I'm not sure what the boundaries are. Really don't want to find it disappearing one day. 

I have been complemented on my research, I would like to fess up, I didn't do any. All details to do with muggles and places in Scotland are real life memories and experiences which I have written into this. That includes the awful muggles on the way to Inverness on the train, especially the drunk men in the kilts. The people of Sgoil Dhubh Lodge are completely fictitious, however, I am assured by somebody I know who grew up in the Highlands, that such places do exist and you might find one not so very far from Fort William.

Chapter Summary: Cold and exhausted, Harry and Sev are facing a grim Christmas Eve night, until the voice of Alexian leads them off the main road and towards a house.

Upcoming chapters - The start of a bit of mystery and a bit of R and R before the final battle looms. Also, Sev has an encounter with Albus which leads to us finding out a bit about Sev's past and his intentions towards Harry.

Chapter Fifteen - Sgoil Dhubh Lodge 

The road led along the side of an expanse of water, on the other side the mountains rose. It was hardly ideal for finding a suitable place to camp. Harry and Severus had been walking for an hour without any luck, growing more tired and despondent by the minute. Harry didn't think he had ever been so cold. He had had no feeling in his fingers for some time and that was in spite of him holding Sev's hand. They had got chilled eating the chocolate and couldn't recover their warmth. Bloody Christmas Eve, Harry thought to himself again, as they trudged onward and he couldn't help remembering about a story he had heard in Muggle School long ago.

"A barn? An Inn? We would settle for a bloody piece of grass if there were one to be found set away from the road. Bloody mountains." Harry muttered to himself, the sound being carried away by the wind.

It was even more important now to choose somewhere completely secluded. Although Harry wouldn't be able to run away during a vision, he wouldn't have much luck combating a Death Eater in the middle of the night either; Sev would be on his own. By the grim look Sev had adopted since the last vision, he knew it too. All they could hope for was that they had done a decent enough job of disappearing.

During waking hours they had the Bichun Swords, but only when they wouldn't be seen. During the night, as they slept, they would have nothing to protect them at all. One of them would have to stay awake and watch over the other, though they felt so tired. If they both slept one after the other then they wouldn't be able to travel the distance they needed to cover. Any one thing done for their safety, merely opened up vulnerability in another area. This was starting to feel very much like the end.

It was completely dark now. Harry was suddenly pleased to hear the return of his other, more mysterious, companion.

'Turn right, off the main road.' The voice inside Harry's head instructed him.

'What?'

'You heard.'

Harry looked to their right. The biggest distance between the road and the mountains existed here. But an area of private land enclosed by a tall hedge took it up. There was a small track leading away from the main road in between two rows of trees, it led into the private land. Beyond the track Harry could see lights shining in the windows of a house. It was a large old manor house. They couldn't camp there. Even if it were a bed and breakfast or a hotel, it would be closed for the winter. Surely the voice couldn't be serious.

'Why?' Harry asked.

'You'll see.' The voice insisted. Harry hadn't realised that mysterious voices could have annoying moods. Turning to the right wasn't the main problem, however, getting Severus to follow him was. What was he going to say, 'the little voice in my head says it's a good idea'?

'You'll have to tell him about me sooner or later.'

'Shut up.'

"Are you all right Harry?" Severus asked, Harry had stopped walking and for no reason as far as Severus could tell.

"Yes, I'm fine." Harry replied looking up at Severus and forcing a smile.

'Liar. You're exhausted. Frozen. On the verge of tears.'

"I just think that we should try up that way." Harry said pointing up the lane and wiping his eyes with his sleeve, wishing the voice would keep his conversation strictly constructive.

"There's a house up there." Severus pointed out.

'Beyond it.'

"I think there might be a suitable location if we get past the house." Harry suggested.

"How do you suggest we do that?" Severus grumbled.

"Walk through the garden and make no noise?" Harry answered.

Severus gave him a look.

"It's dark, unless they're looking out, they're not going to notice." Harry insisted now trying to think round his problem with no more help from the voice that had got him into this situation in the first place.

Severus was too tired to put up much of a fight and Harry didn't come up with silly ideas that often. "Lead the way." He instructed.

'Don't go beyond the house.' The voice instructed, as Harry and Severus crossed the road. Harry sighed, what was this voice getting him into now?

The gardens surrounding the house were strange, for a manor house anyway. Harry had expected shrubs, space for flowers in the summer and large expanses of grass. What they were faced with was land given over to vegetable growth. Rather like a market garden though not big enough to be a business. As they walked round the right side of the house they had to stay as far away from the windows as the perimeter hedge would allow, so that they wouldn't be seen. Harry could see through a window though. The room he could see was a large lounge and a considerable number of men and women sat on low sofas, some sat on the floor. Most of them had long hair and wore loose shirts and scarves. Not since Edinburgh had Harry seen so many people who looked a little bit like he and Severus did.

"This hedge goes right the way round you know, we can't get out the other side." Severus complained.

Harry couldn't blame him; he didn't know what the hell they were doing either.

'Keep going round.'

Harry kept walking. "Maybe there's a gate." Harry said to try and make Severus keep following. "We could camp behind the hedge, nobody would see us." Severus followed but Harry hoped that something would happen soon to make it all worthwhile. He couldn't think up many more stupid reasons for continuing.

There was a collection of fruit bushes growing near the corner of the house and nearly extending to the hedge. They walked round it, squeezing through the gap. Neither Harry nor Severus saw the man standing round the back of the house, the kitchen door wide open and the light steaming out through it and the adjacent window, not until it was too late. He had a cigarette or a smoke of some kind and was dressed in a large wool coat. He had long wavy dark hair and from what Harry could tell, was in his early forties. All this Harry observed as he stood frozen to the spot as the man noticed the both of them and stared in surprise right back.

"Happy now?" Severus snapped, as the man came out of his trance and approached them.

Harry could feel Severus drawing himself up into full Snape mode beside him. The man who approached them didn't look hostile though, surprising, since they had just been caught wandering around on his obviously private land. The smell of an evening meal drifted out towards Harry, it seemed like torture to know they would never get their hands on it. A full, large, freshly cooked evening meal, probably on plates with a knife and fork and a little pudding to follow, maybe a steaming hot mug of coffee after that. No, tea, Harry thought, he could murder a cup of tea.

Harry managed to draw his attention back in time to see the man extend a hand to him. Harry accepted the handshake not knowing what the hell was going on. Were they being mistaken for somebody else?

'Tell him your name.' The voice prompted Harry.

"Hi, I'm Alex." Harry said hastily remembering their cover names. Severus remained silent. "This is my friend, Richard."

"Well, well, Richard and Alex, what brings you here on this cold and dark night? Certainly didn't expect anybody to be wandering around out here in this weather." The man asked with a friendly and light Scottish accent. It was almost as if this kind of thing happened all the time.

'You are travellers.' The voice prompted again.

"We are travellers." Harry echoed, noting that he wasn't getting any help from his Kin. Severus could deceive the Death Eaters, but put him in front of a Muggle and he might as well be a tree trunk.

The man laughed. "Well I can see that by the look of ye! Are ye on a spiritual journey of some kind, Buddhists maybe? Getting back to nature?" the man babbled. "Anyway come on in. Where are my manners? My name is William, though mostly I'm known as 'Will'. Welcome to Sgoil Dhubh Lodge."

Will went through the door into his kitchen and Harry took Severus' hand and dragged him in too. They were immediately treated to a blast of hot air. Harry shut the door behind them. A few lamps sitting on the bench at various intervals gently lit the room. Christmas tree lights were strung across the ceiling, glowing pretty colours.

The floor was made of stone and slightly uneven. Along one wall was a big black range; against another was a large cooker with at least eight hob rings. The rest of the wall space was lined with cupboards and benches. In one corner sat a single armchair, a throw draped over it. In the middle of this large country house kitchen was a huge solid wood table with wooden chairs of different designs and ages scattered around it. On the table were two trays littered with numerous mugs, a huge teapot and other tea making things.

Will had taken off his coat and flung himself into one of the chairs. He looked a bit like Sev with the shirt and pants he was wearing.

"Well, take your bags off then." He commanded. "I'll make us a brew in a minute. Ye'll take a bite to eat at least?"

Harry nodded, hardly believing their luck and too stunned to speak much. He slid his rucksack off his back and he could feel that Severus had done the same.

"So where have ye travelled from?" Will asked companionably.

"We have come up from Stirling." Harry answered. It was the last place he could remember the name of.

"Well, we're a bit full up tonight, Christmas and everything, but you're welcome to a place by the fire. The rules are simple here, everybody works, does their bit. Give me a break from the cooking and the cleaning tomorrow and you're both welcome to join us for dinner and lunch tomorrow of course, OK?"

"Yes, thanks." Harry said trying not to sound too desperate. Noting with amusement how Will drifted between colloquial friendliness and a more refined and correct speech and then back again without even noticing. He was obviously educated but had returned home instead of joining the ratrace. As Harry and Severus were both well-spoken southern English but were dressed a bit scruffily, and Severus was obviously much older, Will was clearly finding it hard to place them into a comfortable category.

"Cool." Will said in response to their agreeing to stay, springing to his feet. "There was a couple who were handling the domestic side of things but they left recently, civilisation called. Actually, ye can begin tonight by making everybody a mug of tea, which would be twenty-two including yourselves. Then you can join us in the lounge and I'll introduce you to everybody. Sorry about the heat by the way, the fire has to be kept going in here to heat the water, just open the back door if it gets too hot."

"Right." Harry said feeling a little bit bewildered and as if he was inside some strange, cruel dream from which he would soon wake. "Where's the lounge?"

"Across the hall, just follow the noise." Will said departing through the door to the aforementioned hallway.

As soon as Will had closed the door behind him Harry turned to Severus. Severus had kept his coats on and had slumped down in a chair.

Harry reached for the teapot and looked around for a kettle. He found a large one on the range, but although it was full of water and being heated, it hadn't come to the boil yet. Harry returned his attention to the teapot; the tea bags lay beside it on the table.

"How many tea bags for twenty two cups of tea do you think?" Harry asked.

"What do you think you are doing?" Severus asked in a snappy tone.

"Making tea. What are you doing?" Harry snapped back, really not feeling in the mood for a Snape attack.

"I am just wondering why we are still here and not making our retreat."

"Which would be why you just sat down." Harry countered. He really didn't need this.

"We don't know who these people are, it goes against everything we agreed upon regarding Muggle contact." Severus continued to argue. "We cannot stay."

Harry remembered that he had resolved not to play this game any longer, Sev was his Kin now, things were going to change. He picked up the empty teapot and slammed it down hard on the table making Severus jump; fortunately it was made from aluminium and merely clattered rather than shattering.

"Whoever they are, they were quietly enjoying their evening, minding their own business until we showed up." Harry began. "We came to THEM, Will didn't have to do anything other than chase us off his property, and he didn't have to ask us in. HE has no idea who we are, which ought to please you. He didn't have the slightest clue who I am. Yet he has offered us a roof over our heads and nice hot food." Harry came to stand behind Severus, mainly to hide the tears that threatened to flow, thus ruining his argument. "I will not go out there again tonight, I absolutely WILL NOT."

Harry reached up a hand to Severus' hair and stroked his fingers through it, aiming to sooth Severus rather than prolong the argument. Severus relaxed a bit into the touch. "Think about it Sev." Harry continued in softer tones. "A warm fire to sleep in front of, dinner in the cooker, nice hot mug of tea. If I were a Death Eater, I wouldn't think I would find us here."

The sound of an acoustic guitar reached them, presumably coming from the lounge. They both silently listened for a minute, and then Severus flopped forward with his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the table.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked hoping it was Severus giving in to his pleas.

"Yes." Severus answered running his hands through his hair. He was tired, really tired. Harry had just lost his best friend and, if the visions were to be believed, countless children had died too. He felt that they had definitely lost Albus, how else could the rest have happened. He didn't want to make a stupid decision that could risk their safety, just because they were too tired to think straight. Even so, he had to admit that they were holding on by a thread.

And the music, the familiar tune, almost seemed like an invitation in itself. Harry was right, everything he had said was right. This was weird, but it wasn't particularly threatening. It was so bitterly cold out there. It was dangerous to stay, but perhaps no more dangerous than going back out into the cold with no prospect of a camping location any time soon. They would only be able to stay one night though, Severus thought, it was all he could allow himself to risk. He reached a hand out behind him, hoping Harry would take it. When he felt Harry's hand touch his own, he closed his fingers round it.

"I think the kettle has come to the boil." Severus pointed out, releasing his Kin so that he could go and tend to it.

Even though Severus had been their cook, Harry dealt with all the tea making since Severus had never had to deal with a proper kitchen before. Harry took a guess at the number of tea bags, estimating that slightly less than ten were necessary for their number. Once all the mugs had black tea in them, Harry fetched the milk and placed it on the tray.

"Now, be nice." Harry warned Severus playfully as he picked up the tray, having just managed to squeeze all of the cups onto it. Severus followed with their rucksacks since he didn't want to leave them unattended.

As they entered the lounge Will stopped his guitar playing and everybody looked up at them. Harry felt a bit nervous from the attention, since the only person he had talked to since July was Severus. Harry placed the tray down on a clear coffee table in the middle of the room and Severus rested their bags against the wall. There was a big welcoming fire burning in the hearth and the room was as subtly lit as the kitchen had been.

All the seats were taken and most of the floor was already sat on, but Will threw over a beanbag and they managed to find some room to sit. Severus leant his back against the beanbag as he had often leant against a stone or a tree trunk and Harry took up his usual position at his side, leaning against him. Harry felt Severus' hand go reassuringly round his waist, holding him close.

Will dispensed the milk into the mugs and handed them out.

"Right everybody." Will spoke as Harry took his first heavenly sip of tea. "This is Richard and Alex, they have come up from Stirling." Will announced.

Everybody said their 'hellos' and said who they were, Harry tried to smile; he hoped that Severus was trying too.

"How long have you been travelling?" Will asked.

"Since July." Harry answered hoping to keep it as Muggle like as possible.

"What did you do before?" Will continued to quiz.

"Richard was a school teacher." Harry told them.

"Oh." A woman named Judith spoke up. "Were you his student? Oh, that is so romantic!"

"Are you running away together?" Will asked a happy glint in his eye. "Here was me thinking you were on some sort of mystical religious journey, silly me."

"You'll be safe here." Judith added. "I tried to run away from my ex husband for two years and he always caught up with me, I came here, and I haven't seen him since."

"We're not running away together." Harry tried to protest, then changed his mind, perhaps it was a good cover story. "Well, not really, I graduated." Harry even managed to blush.

"Oh, I knew it. That's why you started out in July." Judith gushed. "That is SO romantic."

Harry could only wonder what Severus was thinking of all this.

"Tell me." Severus suddenly spoke and rather sternly too. "Why is this place named Black Magic Lodge?"

Harry cringed and felt surprised at the same time; he hadn't known that Severus understood any of it beyond the usual curse words. Though it shouldn't have surprised him, his Sev was a skilled and experienced wizard, not fresh out of school like himself. Harry hadn't realised about the name, since the wizard community always used the term 'dark arts' rather than 'black magic'. Black Magic? Well, if they were with the other side in some way, they wouldn't have been so obvious about it.

"Ah, you know the gaelic." Will said laughing. "Don't worry about that, that's just to wind up the stupid locals. Doesn't mean anything. Works though, even the postie leaves the post at the bottom of the drive, by law they should be putting it through the letterbox, idiots the lot of them. It has its uses, for all the harassment in town, they never disturb us up here."

Harry couldn't help a smile, though the voice in his head had wandered off, he somehow knew this place was what they were meant to have found.

They continued to sip their tea and Will started playing the guitar again. Harry lay back against Severus, closing his eyes as he listened to the music, feeling wonderfully warm and safe.

The music changed, a song called 'Holiday', some of the women joined in with Will, one taking another guitar. It was soothing, Harry thought, very soothing.

"Exchange your troubles for some love." Will sang.

Harry turned on his side and snuggled into Severus, he was almost asleep when Sev rubbed his arm and told him it was time for dinner.

If the meal had had any formality to it, it might have felt awkward or embarrassing to be dining amongst strangers. As it happened, it was rather like being with the Weasleys, though on a larger scale if that could be believed. Harry felt a bolt of sadness at the thought, but did his best to fight it back. They were like one unruly family; they sat at the table without ceremony. Everybody helped themselves to food from the dishes in the middle of the huge dining table but they all made sure that their guests got their share too. A couple of bottles of homemade wine were on hand to wash it all down; Elderberry apparently. They all had a glassful and Harry thought it was quite strong, though he didn't have much experience. From the amusing expression on Severus' face when he took his first mouthful, Harry concluded that Severus thought it was quite strong too.

The chatter went on around them, the inconsequential conversation born of familiarity. Only Will didn't join in, turning instead to his guests.

"Do you have family?" Will asked Harry in particular.

"No, my parents are dead." Harry answered.

"Messages can be sent out from here you know, they can't be traced, if you wanted to just let somebody know you're OK." Will added, revealing what he had been getting at.

"No, my parents really are dead, I'm not hiding from anybody in particular." Harry explained. "Richard IS my family."

Harry felt Severus' eyes on him.

"Have you been using the tent since July and all though the winter?" Will enquired turning his attention to Severus.

"Yes, since July." Severus answered stiffly.

"Oh, well, you're both either brave or stupid." Will commented.

"A little of both I think." Severus said turning to Harry. "Be sure that we both appreciate your kind offer tonight."

"Very kind, since we just wandered by." Harry added, Severus was trying but he was still a bit stern.

Will shrugged his shoulders. "I reckon we're too far into the middle of nowhere, only those with good intentions would be mad enough to make the journey. I have never refused anybody a place for the night; neither did my parents before me. We haven't had any trouble here since about 1974, if I recall correctly. You're both very welcome to stay. You'll realise what a good deal it is for me, however, when you see how much washing up there is to do."

Harry could feel Severus tense beside him. "I'll do it." He whispered to his Kin. "It was part of my chores at the Dursleys."

The mention of the Dursleys didn't help Severus relax; he was treated to the memory of watching Harry wash dishes as a young boy and the trouble there had been when a drinking glass had been broken.

After the meal Will settled down to play the guitar again and some of the women looked like they were going to sing.

"I'll do the dishes now before everything dries on." Harry offered, feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the activity and wanting to be alone with Sev for a while.

"Ok." Will shouted over from his beanbag. "Join us after though, we were going to put a movie on."

"We will." Harry called as they left with the rucksacks.

They stacked the rucksacks in a corner of the kitchen and then cleared the dining table. Harry filled the sink and Severus considered confessing about the Pensieve, only for a minute. It would force Harry to think about something he would rather forget, at a time when he was feeling vulnerable enough already. He imagined having to talk about his own personal nightmare under the same circumstances and immediately pushed the idea from his mind. He opted to wrap his arms around Harry as he stood at the sink instead. 'Exchange your troubles for some love', indeed, he would try that later.

Harry leant into Severus' embrace and Severus rested his chin on Harry's shoulder.

"Later." Harry said softly. "This is hardly getting the chores done is it?"

Severus pulled away reluctantly to let Harry scrub a pan.

"I'm not doing everything though." Harry added. "I'll do this, but you will help me tomorrow. You could do the cooking."

"Hmm."

"It's not that different to what you used to do."

Severus sat down in one of the chairs by the table.

"Sev?" Harry persisted.

"I'll help." Severus insisted, still not looking pleased about it.

"Well, start looking like you will." Harry snapped placing two mugs in front of Severus.

Severus had a go at making some more tea while Harry finished washing the dishes.

"I bet you have never seen a movie." Harry said as he started to dry.

"You are quite right." Severus replied taking up another towel and drying a cup by Harry's side.

"Hmm, I have never seen one either." Harry confessed. "Not like this, not properly, the Dursleys didn't like me cluttering up the living room."

"I suppose tonight we find out what we have been missing all these years." Severus added.

As they were heading back to the lounge to join the others for the film, Severus suddenly grabbed Harry's hand. They were halfway across the hallway.

"Listen." Severus said.

Harry could hear a whole orchestra playing a piece with a beautiful melody. "That has to be a CD." Harry commented.

Severus took up Harry's hands and unexpectedly pulled him into a dance hold.

"A waltz. Listen to the music and move when I do." Severus instructed as they stood in the dark hallway.

"Oh, I have seen everything now. You and I, waltzing?" Harry said laughing a little.

"Shh, listen." Severus insisted.

Severus took a step back and Harry moved towards him, doing as had been told and listening to the music, moving with it, moving with Sev. It was fun, Harry was enjoying the dancing and he was fairly aware that they danced well together, perfect even. Unexpectedly perfect considering Harry's complete lack of experience.

As the music came to its end Severus pulled Harry into an embrace.

"Just a pleasing side effect of the Bichun Kin Swords." Severus explained. "I had forgotten about it, till I heard the music."

"That was amazing." Harry enthused, it was important to tell Sev when he was being nice.

Severus took up a strand of Harry's hair in his hand. "Though I think the tango might suit you better." He said raising a suggestive eyebrow.

"I wish it could always be like this." Harry said.

"Like what?" Severus asked letting a slender hand stroke down Harry's face.

"Like this, with you, like now. You are amazing."

Severus regarded Harry, his eyes shone not with tears but with the enjoyment of a moment. Severus still held him in his arms and he bent his head to land a kiss on Harry's forehead, though it was still covered by the bandana because they were in company.

They waited a while to see if another track got played but no music came. The group had started to discuss the film they were going to watch.

Harry and Severus joined the others but Harry was already hatching plans to borrow the CD and the player before they had to leave, so that he could dance with Sev again. The coordination and the connection with each other, the swords had given them this, and it worked on them to make the dancing like a dream come true. Just one more time, Harry resolved, before they had to go back out into the cold.

Author's Note: 'Exchange your troubles for some love' comes from the Scorpions track 'Holiday'. Earlier Sev hears Will singing Zep's 'Stairway To Heaven' but more about that later. Harry and Sev dance to track 16: Kate Goes To The Awards (US release) of the Kate and Leopold soundtrack, it has quite a sad section to it, which, I think, suits them and their situation.


	16. Exchange Your Troubles For Some Love

Author's Note: Got a bit mixed up, the Sev and Harry nookie wasn't in the last chapter it's in this one :) Thanks as always to my wonderful reviewers, glad you all liked the house and the dancing big sigh of relief, felt a bit nervous about introducing Muggle OCs. Really need to get Harry and Sev out of the cold though, but more about the Dark Lord's next cunning plan to get to Harry in the next chapter. 

Chapter Summary: Harry and Sev make use of their night lying by an open fire, they find that they don't need so many clothes indoors grins.

Chapter Sixteen - Exchange Your Troubles For Some Love 

In the lounge all the seats had been turned round into a semi circle facing a large widescreen TV flanked by an array of speakers on stands. Harry and Severus took a position to the side of the group choosing to lean on a beanbag even though they had been offered a portion of a sofa.

"Kate and Leopold." Will announced when everybody was seated. "That was the final verdict, that OK with you two?"

"Oh yes." Harry responded trying to look like he knew the movie they had suggested, he didn't have a clue.

"Whatever Alex would like is all right with me." Severus added giving Harry a light squeeze; he didn't have a clue either.

Harry managed to stay awake this time, even though he was warm and snuggled beside Severus.

"I think we should turn in now." Severus said as the film finished. He recognised that Harry must be really tired, it was getting quite late, and there was also the problem of the visions, they needed to be alone before any of that started.

"Ok, everyone. Richard and Alex are going to be in the kitchen tonight, so can you all go get a drink now so they can sleep undisturbed?" Will announced, there was a mini exodus to the kitchen, leaving Harry and Severus alone in the lounge.

"That was a lovely movie." Harry said to Severus, feeling quite mushy inside.

"Yes, quite charming, but nothing like the reality of things."

"Oh, shut up. It's not meant to be reality, that's the point."

"The father was awful." Severus commented, more in the spirit of things.

"Yes, family!"

"And their expectations." Severus offered.

Harry seized his opportunity. "Did you get on well with your family?" He asked.

"Better now they are dead." Severus replied coldly, and then smiled a little. "No, really, I did get on with them all. They were very proud of their little Death Eater and they never found out that I had switched sides."

"Oh?" Harry prompted, encouraging him now he had the chance.

"Hmm, I couldn't show my true cards, not even with them. So I kept them at a distance, cut myself off. Using every excuse to stay away, then they died. As you know my first Kin was already long gone by then."

"Oh Sev." Harry said not knowing what else to say.

Severus shrugged his shoulders slightly and squeezed Harry's hand.

"Sev, do you believe the dead, our families, your Kin, are still here somewhere?" Harry asked.

Severus looked at Harry, showing his surprise. "Like the ghosts?"

"No, not stuck here like that, but somewhere near." Harry continued. "Somewhere where we can still hear them."

"I know that Professor Trelawney believes so, but then she is the Divinations teacher who has produced only one credible prophecy in her entire life."

Harry's heart sank. "And look what it was she had to be right about." Harry said grimly commented, it was obvious what Severus' opinions were on the matter.

Harry thought of Professor Trelawney's sage smudged tower, and of the times he had been there when she hadn't been wailing about his own imminent death, few though they were. When she had spoken of things that came to pass. Of course Sev wouldn't know about these. Harry wondered if Trelawney had a 'voice' too, only coming to help when HE wanted to, erratic in character and possessed of mood swings like his own mysterious Alexian.

Will returned and told them that everybody had gone to their rooms. About five people came into the lounge with sleeping bags and took up the sofas.

"I wish I could offer you better." Will apologised.

Harry smiled. "Compared to how we have been sleeping it will be like heaven and we do have an inflatable bed." He said standing up, quite happy to be going to the kitchen.

Harry and Severus set up their bed in front of the range, the fire still burning with a radiant red glow. They had moved the big table over to make some room, and they were once more faced with the prospect of having to undress to go to bed, it was warm enough. Severus had seen him at his very worst but Harry still felt mortified at the thought of him seeing his skinny little legs. He was thankful his shirt was so long; it wasn't just about his legs. A memory from Severus' Pensieve, when he had been hanging upside down, came to Harry's mind as he sat in the chair by the fire and looked round to find Severus loosening the belt on his leather pants. Harry quickly looked away again. This was ridiculous, he told himself, after everything they had shared, the intimacy, the visions, absolutely ridiculous. Severus was his Kin; an intensely strong lifelong Bond existed between them, yet Harry was shy of him still. Harry noticed that Severus wasn't exactly studying him as he undressed either; it made him feel a little better.

Harry slid into the bed first and when he looked up Severus had their blanket wrapped round his waist and was rinsing their teacups under the tap in the sink.

"I presume you would like your usual?" Severus asked.

Harry smiled up at him. "Horlicks? Oh, yes."

Severus lit a gas ring on the cooker since the range wasn't quite up to boiling water at that time. He made the Horlicks using the milk they had left from their supplies and for once was able to supply it in a cup instead of a bowl.

Feeling quite silly, Harry averted his eyes after he was handed his drink because Severus was about to remove the blanket to get into the bed. They lay on their sides, propped up on one elbow to have their drinks. Harry was facing Severus and he had turned the lights off. They didn't need their wands though, as the fire still glowed enough for them to be able to see each other. Although the coals were mostly just glowing there was some flickering of flame and it flickered every now and then across Severus' face as Harry watched him. Harry wanted to get down to his last mouthful of Horlicks and have Severus take him in his arms, and kiss him, and stroke him and make him forget that he was supposed to be too bloody nervous.

But, Harry remembered, it was Severus who really was nervous about going further. Even though he wore the mask of confident elder Kin, Harry thought, he must not forget that.

They both finished their drinks and set the cups down on the floor by the hearth. They snuggled down into the sleeping bag, now with no coats or blankets piled on top since they were indoors. They lay facing each other, their legs, which neither dared to look at, touching beneath the covers as if that was entirely different.

Severus wrapped an arm round Harry as if to embrace him, but he drew his hand into a fist and pressed it into Harry's spine. Harry felt the effects of Severus' healing touch begin. They weren't just snuggling down to sleep, they weren't merely preparing for intimacy; they were also preparing for and awaiting the next vision. Severus had his eyes closed as he worked and Harry thought about how he hadn't minded Sev doing this in the tent and now suddenly he did mind. He fought his silly thoughts away, it was necessary, and there was nothing to be done about it.

Severus finished and changed his hold on Harry to a hug, stroking his hand up and down Harry's back. Harry had been expecting Severus to fall asleep straight away, since they were so tired, but it seemed that his Kin had other ideas. Harry wasn't about to begin complaining.

Severus claimed a kiss. "Now I have you under my evil power, I may deal with you as I wish." He said with a perfectly serious face, but then leant over to nibble at Harry's ear. "Resistance is futile." He whispered, the breath falling on Harry's ear and making him shiver.

Severus turned Harry over onto his back, his head resting on one of the pillows that Will had loaned them for the night. Did Harry truly and deeply trust him, Severus wondered, he was about to find out. Severus looked up; Harry was smiling slightly, looking up at him in expectation, so far so good.

The game Severus was playing had dominance to it, though he meant it possessively, he was treading a sensitive line and he hoped that Harry had been his Kin long enough to enjoy it. He hoped that it wouldn't be obvious that he didn't know what he was doing and was merely making it up as the fancy took him. He had hoped that the movie would help him; he had heard that Muggle movies were full of sex. Trust 'Kate and Leopold' to be different, he thought with bitter amusement.

Severus would watch Harry and withdraw if it seemed to be frightening him. Harry lay with his eyes closed, completely submissive; Harry could still push him away with his arms if he wanted to. Severus leant in for another kiss and found it enthusiastically received.

Harry wrapped his arms round Severus' neck. Severus now leant on an elbow so he was leaning over Harry. He reached down underneath the sleeping bag and raised Harry up a bit while he tugged at his shirt. Severus unwrapped Harry's arms from around his neck and eased the shirt up over his head.

Severus stroked Harry first with his hand, then with his lips. Over Harry's chest and shoulders, then up to his neck. Back down to his chest again, and then back to his neck, nibbling, kissing. Severus used his hand again, stroking over Harry's chest, down over his abdomen. Severus looked up then, gauging Harry. Was he just tolerating it? Severus stopped all contact and watched Harry's face. He still lay with his eyes closed now but frowned slightly when Severus stopped touching him.

What he did know a lot about, Severus thought, was nerves. Nerves and where they were, what they controlled. He knew the effect that was possible when he used his finger to press lightly upon one, and used his healing techniques to send energy down it. Slowing down the energy, or making energy exist where none flowed was possible. Restoring what he had just recently slowed down, the defence against the visions would exhaust him quickly and would only have a momentary effect. Sending just a little bit of energy down one nerve in particular for a short period of time, however, would hardly tire him at all.

Severus lay on his side with his head on Harry's shoulder, gently stroking up and down his chest and a bit lower, not knowing yet if he dared to go further. Suddenly a hand was gripping Severus' hair and he could feel Harry's breathing getting deeper from the rise and fall of his chest. Whatever Severus did, it had been their unspoken rule so far, that the other would reciprocate. It wasn't just a matter of what Harry wanted or what Severus was prepared to do. He had to expect that Harry would at least try to do it with him later. The last time, Harry had got very close. Severus decided that it was about time one of them had the nerve to go further.

Severus reached down, over to one side, caressing the skin over Harry's pelvis and down over his leg, then back again. He looked at Harry; he looked as if he was doing all right. The hand in Severus' hair was tugging it, trying to pull him. Severus leant in the direction of the tugging and found himself pulled into a kiss, it had an urgency to it. Severus continued to stroke Harry's leg as they kissed. Harry's arm had gone round his shoulders locking him in position.

Eventually pulling away slightly to concentrate, Severus traced a finger across Harry's skin, looking for the right spot and finding it fairly easily. He pressed down gently, sending energy.

"Oh shit." Harry whispered.

Severus took it as encouragement and continued, passing his hand over Harry more centrally, touching him, holding him and giving out a small amount of healing warmth as he did so. It was clearly an abuse of his healing skill and Severus didn't care one bit, it served his purposes beautifully. Severus' hand was barely touching now, hovering and not so intrusive, achieving its goal nonetheless, using the healing energy, assuring that Harry was comfortable with what they were doing. He continued to move his hand over Harry, up and down. He didn't seem to be getting any complaints from his victim, Severus was pleased to see, Harry lay with one hand in his Kin's hair and the other gripping his shoulder rather firmly. Harry's next breath in was almost a hiss, which he didn't then immediately breath out, and Harry's fingers dug into Severus' shoulder with a force so strong that he would have thought it was an oncoming vision if he hadn't known any better.

They lay together for a while, just breathing in and out. Severus had rested his head on Harry's chest again. Harry still had one hand tangled up in Severus' hair and the other now lay relaxed on his shoulder. Severus had an arm across Harry's waist. Severus felt Harry's lips on his forehead, a kiss.

"Your turn." Harry whispered.

Severus now found himself in the very position he never thought he would be in, not in his entire life. Harry pushed him up and Severus lay dutifully on his back having first removed his shirt. Harry pulled himself up onto an elbow and Severus looked up at his Kin hoping that he didn't look terrified.

Severus didn't know if he was going to be all right with this, but it was too late now. Harry's hand was on his chest, copying what he himself had done for Harry. Then there were lips making kisses everywhere on all the parts of his body that weren't currently covered by the sleeping bag. Harry got his hand on Severus' head again, stroking this time, so soothing. Their lips met, deeply kissing as Harry continued to stroke his head. If he had been anything like as good as Harry was being, Severus thought, he must have done quite a good job.

Harry pushed Severus' head to the side and sucked on an ear, and then he reached down beneath the covers of the sleeping bag. Severus held his breath, waiting for what he knew was coming next. Determined not to flinch and needlessly put Harry off. He felt a hand on the inside of his thigh, just resting there. Harry's breath was in his ear. Severus found that he had successfully managed to lie still and not pull away or jump.

Severus breathed out slowly, mentally willing Harry to go further. He really wanted him to and without any delay. His new Kin had blown all the fear away, he had carried it with him for so many years, and Severus doubted that anybody else could have helped him conquer it. Severus waited as Harry delayed, letting his hand continue to rest unmoving on Severus' thigh. If Harry didn't move soon, Severus thought, he was going to be forced to beg.

The hand on Severus' thigh suddenly curled into a fist and he heard Harry cry in pain. Severus grabbed Harry's hand, realising what was happening, and pulled it back up from beneath the covers and wrapped his arms round him.

"I am so sorry." Harry said slumping down onto Severus and pressing his forehead firmly into his chest as another wave of pain hit. Severus could only be glad that it hadn't happened a few minutes later.

"It's all right." Severus said stroking Harry's back. "He can't get you and you'll still be here in my arms when you wake up." He continued, trying to reassure him.

The pain didn't last long and Harry was soon lying unconscious in Severus' arms. After the last vision Severus was really worried about him and not at all sure that everything would be all right. This one at least didn't seem to be so severe though. Severus checked Harry's arms, making sure that he was lying in a good position. Then all he could do was keep a hold of him and wait for the vision to start.

When Harry eventually woke from the vision Severus soothed him back to sleep again. Then he allowed himself to sleep too. There wasn't much of the night left.

There was a loud thump on the floor above them. Harry jumped a little as it woke him. He wasn't used to other people and when he saw Severus lying beside him it took him a good few minutes to realise that it probably wasn't a threat. Harry looked at Severus, he looked so peaceful but he knew that he probably should wake him. Somehow they had both ended up wearing their shirts again, he couldn't remember that happening.

There was more noise from above; people were starting to get up even though it was still dark outside. Being winter it wouldn't be light until well after normal breakfast time. One night's opportunity to sleep inside and they still hadn't managed to get a good night's rest, for one reason or another. One of the reasons Harry felt quite pleased about.

Harry tried to wriggle out of the sleeping bag without disturbing Severus. They were supposed to be making breakfast for everybody. His legs were slow to move though and although he managed to pull himself out, Harry knew that it would be a silly idea to try and stand.

"Sev." Harry spoke softly next to Severus' ear, trying to wake him up. He stirred a little.

"We need to get up, everybody else is." Harry continued rubbing Severus' shoulder.

Severus looked up at Harry and smiled faintly, showing that he would rather remain where he was for all eternity. He got up though and put a light on.

"I'll make a cup of tea." Severus announced pulling the blanket round his waist, raising an eyebrow in amusement at Harry's averted eyes.

"We left it a bit too late last night." Harry added. "I can't get up."

"Well stay there then." Severus said putting the kettle onto the hob having filled it with water from the tap.

"I can't, we have to make breakfast. We'll have to clean out the hearth and relight the fire." Harry explained. "There are so many of us, there's no way you can do it all."

Severus thought for a minute.

"Shuffle off the bed onto the floor." Severus instructed handing Harry his pants. "Then get dressed."

Harry struggled with his clothes while Severus pulled the bed out of the way and dragged the armchair, which had so far been residing in the corner of the room, to a position in front of the range. Harry shuffled over to the chair.

Severus leant down to him. "Put your arm round my neck and try to stand up, if you get into the chair you can clean out the fire and do the toast from there."

Harry put his arm round Severus and tried to stand. He would have fallen flat on his face if he had been alone but with Severus' help he managed to get himself up off the floor and into the chair with one attempt. Severus retied Harry's bandana next; it had slid up and was threatening to reveal the lower part of his scar. They certainly didn't want the Muggles seeing that.

Severus then knelt down beside Harry and took him in his arms, holding him close.

"You can tell me all about the vision when we're on our own again." Severus said to Harry.

"Not much to tell." Harry replied. "Another family."

Severus held Harry close for a while longer, ignoring Harry's dismissive tone, taking it for what it was, a brave face.

Once all the essential things were taken care of Severus returned to the tea making and Harry scooped out the dead ashes from the range with a small shovel and tipped them into the bucket used for the purpose.

Severus made a huge pot of tea and gave Harry his cup along with a handful of kindling wood and the bucket of coal, which he placed on the hearth in front of him. Harry made a fairly good job of lighting the fire and got hardly any coal dust in his tea.

Severus wasn't doing too badly either. They had been given a list of breakfast requests, so they knew exactly what they were meant to be preparing. With brief instructions Severus had managed to find a frying pan and was now cooking up a selection of bacon, eggs, sausages, fried tomatoes and herbed potato cubes. The smell of it all was actually making Harry feel quite nauseous, though he could appreciate how it was supposed to make him feel.

They would have to leave soon, the thought entered Harry's brain suddenly and he fought to send it away again. He didn't want to think at all. He didn't want to consider how nice this all was, sitting by a warm fire watching Severus cook. Catching him steal the odd little nibble of potato just before he tipped the food onto a plate and then slid it into the pre warmed oven to keep it hot.

Harry could see from where he sat that all the snow had melted overnight, there was little point protesting against their departure.

Will was still stood outside with his morning cigarette, having left the house by the front door to give their guests some privacy. After he had finished the first cigarette, Will had felt like having another, well it was Christmas after all. He could enjoy his break from the cooking if he wanted to.

He wandered round to the back of the house, mainly to check the patch of sprout plants to see if there was enough for lunch. It was getting a bit late in the season for them, but he could just fancy some. He passed by the kitchen window. Taking a long drag on his cigarette, Will glanced up and saw that a light was on. He wasn't surprised; the noise of everybody else getting up was enough to wake the dead. All of them adults and yet they were still excitedly scampering about in the wee hours of Christmas morning.

Will stood watching from the garden, knowing that he shouldn't, but doing it anyway. He watched as the man who had been introduced to him as Richard pulled the armchair over to the fire and then leant down to Alex. The boy Alex, who Will had thought looked a bit sickly, was pulled up from the floor and lowered into the chair. Richard remained kneeling by the boy's side for a while, holding him. Will contemplated a third cigarette. The boy had seemed OK the previous evening; sickliness didn't necessarily mean anything much at all. Richard came over to the cooker and Will was struck again by a feeling of strange familiarity concerning the appearance of the boy but he couldn't place it.

The man Richard wasn't familiar at all, on the face of it quite scary looking in fact. He was about his own age, Will guessed, but so aloof and stiff. At least that had been how he had seemed the previous night. Now though, with a blanket wrapped round his waist like a sarong and without anybody but the boy watching him, he looked completely different. He looked almost calm and relaxed, warmth literally oozed out from him when he turned to the boy and spoke to him.

Will turned away from the window and went back round to the front of the house, smiling to himself. He certainly wouldn't mind those two sticking around a bit longer if he could persuade them, and they looked like they needed it. As long as Richard didn't steal absolutely ALL of his little potato chunks that was.

Harry looked up from his chair by the fire as the door to the kitchen from the hallway opened. It was Will, Harry was pleased to see, it made it easier if it was the person they had spoke to the most.

"They'll all be flooding down here shortly." Will commented sitting down in a chair by the table. "We do have a toaster." He pointed out to Harry.

"I like it done on one side." Harry hastily thought up his reply.

Without prompting, Severus took a plate out of the cooker and poured a cup of tea. He placed them both in front of Will complete with knife and fork.

Harry smiled as he watched Sev work. With the blanket round his waist he looked almost like a really huge house elf. Harry certainly wasn't going to confess his thoughts on that one and he tried to stop himself from smiling before he was asked about it.

"I could get used to this." Will said tucking in to his food. "You two don't fancy staying a bit longer do you? Another night?"

Harry looked at Severus longingly but if he saw he certainly didn't acknowledge that he had.

"I'm afraid we must be on our way." Severus said.

"Hiking on Christmas Day?" Will asked amazed at Severus' dedication.

"We have to reach our destination by New Year." Severus continued to explain.

Harry would have been impressed by the Muggle proficiency Severus was managing, if it hadn't been for the sinking feeling in his heart.

It hadn't seemed so bad when the offer hadn't been there, Harry thought. But now Will was asking them, wanting them to stay, it seemed cruel to be trudging out into the cold. He didn't know why he wanted to stay so badly, they had managed to stay in warm places before without Severus having to drag him back out. Harry just knew that he really didn't want to leave, not just yet.

Harry didn't know what he could do to change Severus' mind though. The fact that Will wanted them to stay may well be used as a good reason to leave. The weather certainly didn't seem to want to cooperate in Harry's favour. Where was the bloody voice when he needed it?

Harry looked over at Severus, who continued to cook and at Will, who continued to eat. Each oblivious to how wretched Harry suddenly felt. Harry rubbed his eyes, he was so tired, and he just didn't think that he had the will to carry on any longer. The vision hadn't been so bad, but only by comparison with the mega vision of two days previous. A boy and a family had died; Harry had known the boy from school. Was this how it was going to be, he wondered, night after night? On and on, till nobody that he had any connection with remained.


	17. Tango

Author's Note: Responses to specific reviews at the end of this chapter.Glad everyone who reviewed liked the Lodge. I had already intended that it wouldn't just be for one night.Thank you for all the reviews, chapter 16 got the most so far. Great motivation :) :) and you all point out what you want to hear about and what I'm missing out which is cool. 

Chapter Seventeen Summary - Things begin to look up for Sev and Harry. Tango anyone?

Chapter Seventeen - Tango 

Christmas Day lunch was finished and all the dishes were cleaned. Harry and Severus' job was done. They both sat at the table, Harry nearest the fire. Harry was still feeling wobbly and shaky, presumably from the vision. He also felt a bit nauseous but he remained determined to keep his meal down.

"Finish your tea, then we'll pack up. We need to set off soon if we're to find somewhere to camp, we need to be far enough away from here to be safe." Severus announced as he sipped his tea.

Harry took a very small sip. "Will said that we could stay another night." Harry reminded Severus in the faint hope that he would relent, suddenly feeling miserable again at the thought of their imminent departure.

"But you know that we can't." Severus pointed out firmly.

They had never considered staying in the same place for more than one night. Necessity had made it unavoidable on a few occasions, not through choice, nothing had changed and they had to move on. This didn't stop Harry wanting to curl up into a little ball and cry. He turned to face the fire in an attempt to hide his tears. It was ridiculous to feel like this, Harry thought, he was a grown man and he was supposed to be defeating the Dark Lord, he had had more strength than this back when he was eleven.

Harry didn't know why he felt so upset. They had stayed in Bed and Breakfasts before and then left the next morning. Maybe it was because he felt so tired, drained and shaky, he could hardly hold onto his mug without using both his hands. The visions had never left such lasting residual effects before. But then he had never been in circumstances such as these, and the attacks had never been so frequent. Harry was sure walking ten miles a day played its part.

Harry remained with his head turned to the fire, resigned. He wanted to get as much of the warmth as he could. He had never been so disinclined to leave somewhere in his entire life. It was milder outside now, the snow melted. It wouldn't be so bad; Harry tried to convince himself as he continued to make slow progress on his tea, inexplicably now reaching the halfway mark all the same. Sev would look after them both, he always did Harry reminded himself.

"I'll get my things together in a minute." Harry said to Severus.

'You must not leave." The voice spoke in Harry's head, picking his moments as usual.

'Why?'

'You will both die if you go out there tonight.'

'How?'

'The cold, you will both freeze to death, you must stay.'

Harry sighed and looked towards Severus, he had drained his tea and nothing in his expression gave away an inclination to a change of heart. Why should it, he didn't have an annoying voice in his head making things even more complicated.

'Have I misled you so far?' The voice asked.

Harry looked up at Severus again and wondered what the hell he was going to do. If the voice was right, it was a matter of life or death.

Harry took a deep breath. "I want to stay another night." He announced.

"We can't." Severus replied, unmovable.

"I need to, can't we? Just for one night?" Harry asked with his best pleading voice.

"This is precisely why this was a bad idea. One more night leads to another 'just one more night'. Do you really want to risk our safety for the comfort of an open fire? Besides, we have already delayed our journey in this vicinity, staying an extra night after the vision."

"Sev, I really want to stay. I've never asked you before."

"We can't."

"You said that whatever I would like was all right with you."

Severus sighed looking irritated. "Regarding the choice of movie if I recall correctly." He snapped.

Harry knew that Severus was right as far as he could know. He didn't know what to do. If Harry simply refused to budge, he knew that Severus might decide to call his bluff and walk out. Harry knew that he would immediately get up and go running after him and Severus knew the power of the Kin better than he did.

"Please Sev?" Harry now pleaded. "Just one more night?" He continued feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself regarding the tone of his voice, he couldn't stop the tears, the nausea built up in his stomach and his hands were shaking. He felt light headed and suddenly very shivery.

'That was pathetic!' The voice broke in.

'Who asked you?' Harry managed to snap at the spirit in his head.

'You have to think of something, you can't go out there.'

'It's milder than it was, what do you suggest?'

'You're ill.'

'I know that.'

'Use it, stupid.'

"Sev, I don't feel well, I feel sick. I need to rest." Harry said, feeling how true it was.

"I can heal you." Severus countered.

"From the visions." Harry answered him. "You can't heal when it comes from the visions."

"I can give you strength with the sword, we will manage, we always have."

'Useless.' The voice criticised. 'You are useless, try again.'

Suddenly Harry could hardly keep his head up, never mind think straight. 'You do better then.' He challenged the voice.

'Right.' The voice replied, apparently accepting the challenge but saying no more.

Severus regarded Harry, he had been crying the whole time, trying to hide it and failing. He didn't understand it, they had stayed in the warmth before and Harry had never made such a fuss. It had been a lot colder outside and yet Harry had always just got on with it. He never complained and he always got back on the road. Sometimes he grumbled a little, but that was it. He did look ill, but that wasn't at all new. Severus would have liked nothing more than to give in to his pleas, why couldn't Harry see how much it hurt him to refuse him. He didn't want to be made to play the bad guy, but he would keep Harry safe, whatever it took. He simply could not lose another Kin.

"Come on, get your things together." Severus encouraged. Maybe Harry would feel better once they got out there.

Harry pushed his chair back and levered himself to his feet with his hands on the table. He took one step forward and then crumpled to the floor.

Severus jumped to his feet and rushed to Harry's side, panic engulfing him. Harry wouldn't pull a stupid stunt like this, it had to be real, he thought. It couldn't be a vision though; there had been no pain, no tremors. Severus knelt down and pulled the blanket of dark shiny hair away from Harry's face. Severus pulled the bandana off, aware that any of the other residents could walk in at any moment. He placed his hand on Harry's head, the fingertips connecting with his scalp. He tried to bring him round. Severus noted that the unconsciousness hadn't been the direct result of a vision; he was being allowed to heal.

Severus could have kicked himself, Harry never complained or obstructed things unnecessarily. He did have a tendency to understate, however. He should have remembered, he should have known that when Harry said he was feeling ill, he was likely to be feeling very ill. The visions seemed to be taking their toll; Harry was in no fit state to be hiking in the depth of winter.

Severus checked Harry's breathing and as he contemplated lifting Harry up off the floor, he moved slightly as he began to come round. Although Harry was coming back towards consciousness he still looked ill and dazed. Harry tried to pull himself up off the floor.

Severus reached out a hand to touch his shoulder. "Lie still for a minute." He said, Harry flopped back down onto the floor.

"I'm sorry." Harry said, sounding thoroughly miserable.

Severus waited a few minutes and Harry seemed to be getting more alert. "I'm going to help you get up and get you sat in that armchair by the fire before anybody comes in here and sees this. I need to get your bandana back on." Severus said. "We'll stay another night." He added.

"Thank you Sev." Harry said looking like he appreciated the danger of their situation fully.

Severus turned Harry over onto his back and got him sitting up. Harry then put his arms round Severus and he supported him as he tried to stand. Harry managed to get back into the armchair without losing consciousness again. Severus quickly retied the bandana and then Harry slumped back into the comfort of the chair.

"How do you feel now?" Severus asked his eyes full of concern and worry.

"I don't think I will pass out again."

Severus put a hand to Harry's head. "I'll make you another tea and we'll tell Will we're staying, then I want you to try and get some rest."

After Severus had finished making the tea he sat in a chair by the fire. He was really worried about their situation now. It was still dangerous to stay. They were merely stuck with little choice. He would have to try and put up some protection with the swords somehow, a ward perhaps, which would go some way to keeping them safe. It would be a lengthy process and he would have to do it without being seen, that was the difficult part.

After a while Harry settled enough to close his eyes and Severus topped up the coal on the fire.

Severus thought of Albus. In their rushed conversations prior to leaving the school, he and Albus had never had time to discuss all the possibilities. They hadn't thought beyond the summer. Hadn't considered that Harry wouldn't be able to take the pressure of camping in winter and relentless visions. Albus should have realised what impact the visions would have on Harry, even if Severus had little idea. They had both been such fools. If Severus was honest with himself, he was worn down too, he couldn't afford to allow himself to get comfortable for that very reason, even if it would be safe for one more night. They were at a fatal disadvantage, the Dark Lord could wait forever, but he and Harry still had three months of snow to endure.

Will came into the kitchen.

"Are you two ready to go?" He asked.

"We would like to stay one more night, if that is still all right?" Severus asked.

Will even looked quite pleased. "Yes, of course it is."

Severus watched Will's eyes wander to Harry. "Alex is feeling a little unwell."

Harry had not been asleep and had opened his eyes when he heard Will's voice.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Hiking for five months solid. It was bound to catch up with you both." Will commented seating himself at the table. "You would be all right, sort of, as long as you didn't stop. Now that you're in the warm, you relax. Then woosh, it all catches up with you."

"I am fine." Severus insisted.

Will looked sceptical. "If you say so."

Severus didn't bother arguing. "Would you like me to take care of the evening meal?" He asked.

"Now you're talking." Will replied looking pleased. "I don't think Alex looks well enough to be going out for a while, why don't you both stay till New Year?"

"I'll see how Alex is in the morning." Severus replied, also considering the ward issue. If he could get up enough protection, a few nights may very well be worth risking, for the effort involved in setting it up.

Will had offered to help with the cooking but Harry, knowing that he would rather be alone with his Kin, offered to peel and cut the vegetables instead. Harry was instructing Severus on the making of a stew from the aftermath of a Christmas Day lunch. One thing he had learnt from the Dursleys was how to make use of everything and make it taste nice too.

Harry now sat at the table, he felt a little better, enough to function in a domestic capacity anyway. He didn't think that he could eat much but the smell of the food wasn't disturbing him at all.

Severus looked worried, Harry thought, probably with good reason. He knew his Kin was only trying to keep them both safe. Harry hoped that it really would turn colder, just so he would know that the voice was true. Although he couldn't fault the spirit of Alexian so far, Harry had a nagging doubt over the voice urging them to stay put, when they should have travelled.

Everybody else was happily sat in front of the television in the lounge. As Harry watched Severus putting pans on the cooker and adding the ingredients as he passed them across the table, he watched him like he had never been able to before. Before they had embarked on their adventure, he had been dressed in long flowing robes, after that he had been wearing more than one coat.

There had only been a brief period when Severus had only worn the shirt and the pants and they hadn't exactly been friends then. Now he had rolled his sleeves up even though they wouldn't stay dirty for long if he got food on them and Harry continued to enjoy watching him, looking up every now and then from his vegetables.

Severus' hair was now drawn back in a ponytail after Harry had watched him for an hour, noticing him constantly pushing it behind his ears and seconds later watching it fall forward again as soon as he leant over. Severus had been getting more and more irritated till Harry had passed him one of his bands.

Harry passed Severus the last of the vegetables and then watched him stirring. Last of all he added the cooked meat left over from lunch and some cornflour to thicken. Severus had to watch the pan constantly now, making sure it thickened enough but didn't end up burning. Harry picked up his mug and let his mind wander into thoughts of what he was going to persuade Severus to do after everybody else had gone to bed.

Severus left Harry with a small bowlful of food and some buttered bread while he served up the meal in the dining room. Harry didn't want to be left without his Kin, but he hadn't really felt up to the trials of the dinner table. His stomach felt just a little too delicate to watch everybody making pigs of themselves and still remain remotely hungry himself. Left alone in the kitchen, however, he managed to eat nearly everything that Severus had left for him and he didn't feel nauseous afterwards.

Eventually Severus returned with the dishes and Harry watched as Severus cleaned them and handed them to him to dry, one by one. Soon all the dishes were piled up on the table. Harry felt a little strange, falling back into the role he had had at the Dursleys. It was so different to how it had been with them, enjoyable even.

"Do you want to join them in the lounge for a film?" Severus asked as he got the large pot of tea filled for the after dinner beverage.

"I could do, I feel a bit better." Harry answered, half afraid that if he sounded too well, Severus might decide they were leaving after all.

"They were all asking after you." Severus added sounding mildly irritated. "Nothing changes, they don't know who you are and you still get everybody's attention."

"Maybe if you didn't scowl so much." Harry began, then wished he hadn't, he was unsure if he had criticizing privileges with his ex Potions Master now.

Severus merely shrugged resignedly and folded the tea towel that Harry had been drying the dishes with.

"Will did show concern for you too, if you remember." Harry suddenly remembered. "If you recall you dismissed it, you said were 'fine'."

Severus conceded the argument with a slight apologetic smile. "Let's see what romantic fluff is in store for us tonight." He said holding a hand out to Harry.

They took the blanket with them and Harry linked arms with Severus as they walked across the cold hall and into the lounge where a strong fire burnt in the huge fireplace. They were ushered to a place on one of the sofas this time, in consideration of Harry's sickness. Severus sat at one end, Harry curled up beside him resting his head on Severus' shoulder and Severus laid the blanket over his Kin to make sure he was warm.

"We're watching 'True Lies' tonight." Judith informed them both; she was sat at the other end of the same sofa.

Severus offered to get up and make another tea when Will stopped the film to do the honours himself, it was an opportunity he had been waiting for. If Harry was a bit surprised at his enthusiasm, Severus couldn't tell, he didn't make a fuss about it. His Kin would have been right to comment on it however, Severus thought as he crossed the hall. He did indeed have an additional motive that he didn't want the Muggles, or for that matter Harry, finding out about.

After Severus got the kettle onto the range to boil he stepped outside the house and into the garden.

The temperature had begun to drop again, Severus observed as he studied the crystal clear sky and his breath billowed in the air in front of him, there was not a single breath of wind, not even a light breeze, it was eerie. The ground crunched beneath Severus' feet as he walked, the ground was frozen hard. Severus quickly checked the windows for lights and people looking out, before he drew his sword from his inside coat pocket. The serpents eagerly wound round his wrist, impervious to the cold.

Severus didn't have the time to set up any kind of protection while the kettle boiled but he would scout the area quickly, get prepared. He would return to do the job once Harry was asleep. There were natural energies that Severus needed to take into account that could affect the way a ward would work and how he should cast it. The mountains would certainly contribute to the way magical energy flowed around the house. He smiled a little to himself at the memory of the tango scene in the film they were currently watching. He had nudged Harry slightly when the dance had begun on the screen and told him to take notice. Severus would try to have a little fun with his Kin later.

Severus held the sword in front of him, feeling the trickles of energy and how they subtly changed as he walked towards the hedge. As he reached the hedge he felt a sharp hum through the sword. He jumped back a little in surprise. In the wizard world that he was used to, this wouldn't have surprised him at all, but surrounding a Muggle house it was the last thing he had expected to find.

Severus approached the hedge again and the same thing happened, he felt a strong magical current running through the hedge. Severus traced along the hedge for a few yards and found that it continued round. If he wasn't mistaken there appeared to be a ward already in place and a strong one at that. Rather than waste valuable time seeing if it went all the way round, Severus assumed it did, he tried to analyse the ward next to find who had cast it and how it worked. His curiosity was ignited.

Whoever had cast it, Severus found, they had made sure to conceal their identity but he could read what the ward covered. Wills assertion that there had been no trouble at the house since 1974 held true with the age of the magic. Judith's experience with her ex-husband and the behaviour of the locals all confirmed what Severus read from the ward.

Anybody with either neutral or dishonourable intentions merely became disinterested with whatever purpose they had had and walked away. Judith's husband had probably got as far as the gate and then had forgotten why he was there. The postman left the mail at the gate because he couldn't think of what else to do with it. They had both been in desperate need of food and warmth and meant the inhabitants no harm, Severus thought, so the ward had let them through. As far as wards went, it was suitably discrete for the residence that it covered.

Severus put his sword away. At least he would be able to get some sleep that night. If any Death Eaters came, they would very likely not even notice that there was a house there at all, the stronger the evil the stronger the ward's deterrent. Severus couldn't have placed a more appropriate magic himself. Although the magic was strong, the Muggles had no idea it was there beyond a vague sense of superstition, it appeared. Severus returned to the kitchen to make the tea, at least reassured that they would be relatively safe.

Will had popped upstairs to get an extra sweater while Richard was making the tea. As he leant over the bed to grab it, he caught sight of something out of the window. The man called Richard was wandering around in the garden and was brandishing what looked like a sword. So they ARE into some weird religious thing, Will thought. He hoped the man would relax a bit now he had performed his little blessing ritual. Will pulled the sweater on before returning to the group in the lounge.

Severus returned with the tea. Finally, Harry thought. When everybody had a cup, Severus resumed his position, functioning as Harry's pillow. Harry couldn't help noticing that Severus was quite cold for somebody who had only been in the kitchen. He had probably been getting some fresh air, Harry thought as he snuggled back onto his Kin's chest without any concerns. Harry also observed that Severus seemed to be a little more relaxed, but he wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking.

It was getting late when Severus and Harry were finally left alone together. As had happened the previous night, everybody got their drinks before they went upstairs and promised not to disturb them, only this time Harry and Severus received a few winks and some grins as the others left the lounge.

Severus finished collecting all the mugs on the tray and made for the door. Harry grabbed his arm, not wanting the evening to be over just yet. He didn't want to go to bed and lay awake, thinking about the morning.

"Let's push the chairs over." Harry suggested. "Dance with me again."

The fire still burned in the hearth and would for an hour or so, keeping the room warm enough.

"We'll keep the music volume down low so they aren't disturbed." Harry continued to persuade a seemingly reluctant Severus.

"No, no music, not unless you can find a tango." Severus suddenly insisted pushing a sofa over to the wall.

Harry was pleased, a tango would be intimate, bodies touching and moving as if one. He didn't know if he would know what he was doing but he wanted to find out. The lights and the TV were switched off, the illumination came from the flickering glow of the fire.

Harry came to stand in front of Severus and Severus suddenly and possessively pulled him close, so there wasn't even a breath of air between them. He held both Harry's hands in a dance hold like the night before.

"Slide down so your head rests against my chest." Severus instructed.

Harry did, he bent one leg and stretched the other behind him as the woman had done in the film, he pressed his head against Severus' chest and he could hear his heart. Severus tapped a rhythm on Harry's shoulder.

"You don't need to hear the music, remember it. Just think of our Bond and of the power and how you move with me when we have the swords. Imagine it is as if we are connecting, through our hands this time." Severus continued.

Severus drew Harry back up so they stood face to face, then cupped Harry's head in one of his hands whilst maintaining a handhold with Harry using the other. Severus moved only slightly at first, Harry finding it easy to move with him, matching the steps.

"I can feel it." Harry announced as he began to feel a milder version of the power flowing between them. In his head Harry maintained the beat but he needn't have done so as Severus was keeping it for them and all he had to do was follow him.

They danced for a long time; at least Harry thought it must have been a long time. The rest of the world had disappeared for a while and he had enjoyed it. He had really really enjoyed it. Harry could still feel some of the energy flowing through him even though Severus was no longer touching him.

"Come, we must get to bed, long day tomorrow." Severus said reminding Harry of the very thing he didn't want to think about.

Suddenly Harry had his arms round Severus and he was crushing him against his chest, searching out his lips, kissing him firmly.

"Yes! Bed now!" Harry said parting from the kiss at last, he grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him in the direction of the kitchen with a large degree of possessive urgency.

Once in the kitchen Severus and Harry got the bed ready then both undressed quickly, facing away from each other still and both berating themselves for doing so. When Harry turned to Severus he had the blanket wrapped round his waist as he had expected him to. Severus was making them their bedtime drink by the stove.

"Not yet." Harry called to Severus suddenly letting the heat of the dance chase his modesty away. "I want to dance some more."

Harry approached Severus before he had a chance to think too much, turned him away from the stove and pushed his Kin up against the bench then pressed himself close to him. Harry gasped a little as he realised that there were no longer two layers of leather lying between them, only a single woollen blanket, making all the difference sensationwise.

Harry didn't move but glanced up at Severus who raised an eyebrow at him in a suggestive manner, showing that he wasn't about to complain, far from it. Hardly knowing what he was doing, only knowing that they no longer had any intention of doing the tango, Harry reached up to Severus' waist and tugged the blanket loose. Harry eased away from Severus only long enough to let the blanket fall to the floor, and then Severus pulled him back again before he had a chance to think better of it.

Severus wrapped an arm round Harry, keeping him in place. He used his other hand to tilt Harry's chin up so he could kiss him. Then they retreated to the bed, so Harry could finish what he had started.

Harry woke suddenly, he could have sworn that he had heard something, Sev was asleep by his side and he realised that he was having a vision free night so far. It was still very early in the morning, completely dark except a slight glow from the fire. Harry was about to rest his head back down to sleep, when the door to the hallway opened and a tall, cloaked figure entered the kitchen. Harry froze at the sight.

TBC very soon

Coming up in chapter Eighteen - Memories and Dreams Part One - Part One of a two part montage of scenes from the past in which Lucius Malfoy, James Potter, Sirius Black and Sev's brother (it's about time he got a name) are introduced into the story for background info. It will be a bit shorter than usual but chapter nineteen will follow a few days later, above cliffie will be resolved in the next chapter.


	18. Memories and Dreams Part One

Author's Note: I have been very naughty with that cliffie. I have mentioned before that I am more evil than the Dark Lord :) You lot are so going to kill me when you read who the cloaked one is, it was meant as an illustration of Harry's nerves or lack of them. Be sure that Lucius will be popping by soon though. 

This was originally going to be a chapter called Memories and another called Dreams. However this would have left the cliffie hanging until chapter nineteen and would have been very naughty of me. So, I'm going to be a little kinder, I have put it all together and have alternated between past and present, the change denoted by five little stars. The memories are flashbacks and not visions, so Harry is not aware of these events, Sev's encounter with Albus in the kitchen is a dream which he fully remembers after the event but Harry know nothing about this. Hope you can keep track of what's going on. It is in two parts, the second part will appear on Monday.

Chapter Eighteen - Memories and Dreams Part One 

James Potter and Sirius Black were standing in the hospital infirmary with Albus Dumbledore. The doors to the infirmary suddenly swung open. Two men strode through the door and stood together. James Potter nudged his friend Sirius.

"Well if it isn't the elder brother Snape." James commented loud enough to be heard. "Lucius's shadow."

Sirius grinned.

Lucius Malfoy stood by the door of the infirmary as his friend approached Albus Dumbledore and a bed at the far end of the room. The two friends were both dressed alike, one in black, the other wearing a dark burgundy, which in the night time light might as well have been black also. Both wore a full heavy fine spun wool cloak, the cloaks would billow about them as they walked, a pleasingly dramatic effect which they both favoured. There the similarity ended, Lucius had straight, almost white, long hair. Valarius had hair as dark as ebony and wavy about his shoulders, sections of it wrapped tightly with Slytherin coloured threads, finished with a bead at the end of each one. He strode down the room, his boots heavy and buckled, his burgundy knee length tailored robe draping perfectly over his well proportioned, muscled shoulders, the robes complemented with close fitting leather Muggle pants.

Valarius shot the two boys a look as he past them which was meant to be threatening, but seemed to cause only giggling amongst the two, despite his height advantage over them and obvious seniority. He paid them no notice; he was there for only one reason.

"I have come for Severus." Valarius announced to Albus. "I am taking him home." He continued eyeing the two boys with undisguised suspicion.

"I'm afraid it would be unwise for you to take him." Albus objected.

"What are they doing here?" Valarius asked gesturing to Sirius and James.

"These two boys found Severus in the Forbidden Forest, James saved his life." Albus replied.

"Did he really." Valarius was unmoved. "I wonder why Severus was in the Forbidden Forest to begin with." He said not taking his eyes off the two Gryffindor boys, standing there in their school robes, faces as sweet and as innocent as could be.

"So do we, but I am afraid only he can tell us that." Albus responded.

Valarius turned to the object of his visit, lying on the bed. "I will take him with me now." He announced.

"He has been badly hurt, some creature of the forest must have attacked him, he needs rest and we have a regime of potions and healing prepared which should…" Albus began.

"I know what he needs." Valarius snapped. "I am taking him home. Has he had anything for pain?"

"He has a concussion, broken ribs, bruising, both legs are broken in several places, you can't move him." Albus tried to insist.

"Has he had anything for the pain?" Valarius demanded.

"Yes, an hour ago." Albus said deciding not to stand in the way of the boy's determined relative any longer, he knew Valarius intended to take Severus away from the school for good. Albus suspected that the boy was destined to become a Death Eater by his family connections, but there was no more that he could do to stop it.

Valarius reached into a pocket in his cloak and pulled out a phial, he administered more pain potion. Even though his brother was barely conscious enough to take it, Valarius managed to get him to swallow. He then swung his cloak off his shoulders. He wrapped the cloak around his brother and lifted him into his arms. Lucius came to stand beside him, a small cauldron in his hand. Severus' hand was placed on the cauldron, which was to act as a portkey, Valarius touched it too and in a flash all three of them were gone.

"This is turning into a bit of a Snape family tradition." Sirius commented.

"Yea?" James Potter prompted his friend, he was intrigued.

"Doing a bunk long before the end of school, Valarius only lasted a little bit longer than this."

"Really?"

"I'll tell you later." Sirius added hastily as Albus approached them.

Albus turned to James Potter and Sirius Black. "Your efforts will not go un-rewarded." He announced. "Ten house points to each of you."

"Thank you Professor." James chirped, even though he thought that ten points was a little bit mean.

"A word of advice too." Albus added. "It would take a very foolish man indeed, to knowingly upset a Snape, or a Malfoy for that matter. If either of you happen to know who had a hand in this, please warn them to watch their backs and they best not venture out after dark."

Harry woke suddenly, he could have sworn that he had heard something, Sev was asleep by his side and he realised that he was having a vision free night so far. It was still very early in the morning, completely dark except a slight glow from the fire. Harry was about to rest his head back down to sleep, when the door to the hallway opened and a tall, cloaked figure entered the kitchen.

Harry froze at the sight, his blood ran cold, the figure stepped forward and the remaining glow of the fire illuminated his face. It was Will, looking like he had wrapped a large wool throw blanket around himself without considering proper dress. It had swished just like a cloak and in the dim light Harry had mistaken him for his worst fear.

"Sorry, I know we said we wouldn't disturb you but you need to keep the fire going tonight. It's as cold outside now as I've ever known." Will announced when he noticed that he had woken Harry. "We've all decided to sleep in the lounge in front of the big fire but you two will be just fine here."

Harry tried to recover from his shock and began breathing again. "Yes." Harry tried to reply but found himself unable to formulate anything more complex. He was glad that Will wasn't trying to persuade him to join them in the lounge.

Will scooped some coal out of the coal bucket and threw it on the fire; he then added a few sticks of wood to help get it going more quickly. Harry could feel how cold it was in the room, almost how it had been when they had been outside.

"Do you have anything else you can cover yourselves with?" Will asked.

"We usually lay the coats over the top." Harry answered still feeling a little bewildered, he wasn't at all used to being addressed by somebody when he was in bed with Sev. It was almost as if he was expecting to be chastised for the compromising position.

Will fetched the coats for them and laid them over the top. "Stay close to keep warm." Will said to Harry smiling suggestively before leaving them alone again.

It would be a few minutes before the fire began to let out some heat and Severus was lying with the covers pulled away from his shoulders. Harry touched him and he did seem quite chilled. They had fallen asleep with the warmth of the fire upon them and Severus hadn't moved since. Harry pulled the covers further over his Kin and snuggled up to him.

This was all Alexian's doing, Harry thought, this was why they were struggling to stay warm indoors and not lying dead already, somewhere outside. Will had lived at Sgoil Dhubh lodge all his life; he wasn't likely to get into a flap over normal winter weather.

'Alexian' Harry called to the voice in his head. 'You made me ill didn't you?'

'I did? I am no more likely to possess the power to make you ill than the Dark Lord is to change the weather.'

'Does that mean that you did or you didn't?' Harry asked getting annoyed with the voice once more.

'I didn't make you ill, I might have made you pass out, but only because you were going to anyway, sooner or later.'

'Did the Dark Lord change the weather?'

Harry could feel the voice laughing.

'If you don't answer my questions I won't kill him for you.' Harry threatened.

'No, although it was very convenient for him, for you to die in that way, he did not do this.'

'So who are you anyway?' Harry asked.

There was no reply from the voice.

'If you don't tell me, I won't follow any more of your suggestions.' Harry threatened again.

When the voice still didn't answer him and had obviously gone off again, Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of the rise and fall of Severus' chest to help sooth him to sleep.

Severus lay in bed, in the room that he used when he wasn't at school. He was home. He looked up and found his brother leaning over him, he hurt all over; he hurt so much. Valarius placed a hand beneath his head, raising him up slightly and pressed a potion phial to his lips. Severus drank recognising the familiar taste of the pain-relieving potion. Not the kind they got at school, but the nice tasting kind that his brother brewed at home.

Severus was eased back down onto the pillows and Valarius twisted a strand of his hair between two fingers, smiling fondly but disapprovingly.

"What's this? Hmm?" Valarius commented on his brother's uncared for appearance, his greasy hair.

"Don't care." Severus muttered.

Valarius sighed. "I can see that." Valarius passed his wand over the bed muttering a charm. Severus' hair was suddenly wavy, soft and shiny like his own. "There." Valarius said gently stroking his hand over Severus' head, trailing fingers through his hair. "As it should be."

The pain-relieving potion was doing its job, Severus leant his head into his brother's soothing touch as he felt the pain float away. He didn't think he would be able to let anybody else but Valarius near him ever again.

"I think it's time." Valarius said gently.

"Yes." Severus answered his brother knowing that Valarius meant to make him his Kin. They had talked about doing it once school was over, now it seemed to be over early.

"You're not going back to that place." Valarius reassured him.

Severus didn't want to think about school or the people who were there and what had happened. He was never going back. "Do it now." He said.

Valarius opened a velvet-lined case, which appeared to hold two paper knives. He lifted them both out and they turned into full size Bichun Swords. Valarius held one in his left hand and placed the other in his brother's outstretched palm. Severus willingly closed his hand around it. The serpents wound round both men's wrists and accepted them both as Kin to each other. The serpents glowed orange to show the Kin Bond that now existed between them.

When Severus woke he found Harry still asleep but wrapped round him as if he had been clinging to him. Harry was completely underneath the covers with his head on his chest, Severus reached a hand out of the sleeping bag and understood why, the room was freezing cold. It was nearly light and Severus could tell that the sky was free of clouds even though the windows appeared to be misted over.

Severus didn't want to get up but he knew he had to get the fire lit. If it were nearly light then it must be getting quite late in the morning. He eased himself out from underneath Harry who didn't wake at the disruption. Once standing on the kitchen floor he was immediately struck by the chill on his skin, he took the blanket and his wool coat from the bed and covered himself quickly.

Next priority was the fire, he had seen Harry cleaning it out and he followed what his Kin had done the previous day, a little surprised to find that it hadn't completely gone out. Once the coals were on and it was giving off a little heat, Severus approached the cooker; it would take the fire a while to start producing any significant heat so he lit the burners on the hob. Next thing was to make a hot drink for them both, and then he would start on the breakfast.

Severus took the kettle to the sink and turned on the cold tap, nothing happened other than a splutter and a gurgle within the pipe. Severus frowned and tried the hot tap, nothing from that either at first, then after a few seconds water came through. Severus filled the kettle and placed it over one of the burners.

While the kettle boiled Severus leant over to the window, he found that it wasn't misted over at all, it was covered in frost, moisture from the room frozen onto the inside of the pane of glass. The castle was heated in the same way as this house, but he had never seen anything like this.

Severus couldn't hear anybody moving about upstairs but he thought that he heard music coming from the lounge. He opened the door to the hallway and found Will entering through the front door, dressed in a long wool coat and a garishly coloured wool hat. He held the empty ash bucket from the lounge in one hand.

"Bloody water pipe has frozen solid and burst. You two sleep ok?" Will called across to Severus as he walked towards him.

Aware that Harry still lay in bed, Severus stood in the doorway guarding against entry. "Yes, fine, thank you." Severus replied in what he hoped was a friendly manner. "I will bring tea over in just a moment."

Will smiled. "That would be very nice. I could do with a cup before I have to go back out there and chisel some more water off the side of the house so that we can have another."

"Do you need any help?" Severus asked.

"No, you just stick to making the breakfast." Will said wandering off into the lounge.

Severus returned to Harry who seemed to be sleeping so peacefully for once that he was loath to disturb him. Everybody else was up though. Severus knelt at Harry's side and rubbed his shoulder gently till he turned over to face him and looked up.

Severus pushed Harry's clothes under the covers.

"Get dressed in there, I'll get you your tea." Severus said returning to the stove.

"Well you two had a lucky escape last night, a very lucky escape." Will said when he entered the kitchen a while later, carrying a roll of silver coloured tape in one hand and a chunk of ice in the other.

Harry was sat in the armchair dealing with the toast whilst Severus stirred some porridge.

Will dropped the ice into a pan and placed it on the range to thaw. "The wind's getting up now. If you have any plans about leaving today, I strongly suggest you forget about it." Will insisted as he began to apply tape to the back door, sealing it shut. He was still wearing his coat and the hat.

"Yes, we'll stay." Severus said without hesitation, he was also now wearing his coat.

Severus finished making the breakfast and the others soon joined them at the kitchen table. Judith brought a radio and plugged it in.

Severus sat at the table with his bowl of porridge and Harry tucked into his bowl too as they all sat listening to the local news for the area.

'Last night, exceptional low temperatures were experienced over Scotland and much of the North Of England. The freeze is set to continue tonight, with strong winds in the west of Scotland bringing with them heavy snowfall. In Glasgow a record low overnight temperature of minus 19 degrees centigrade was recorded with an unconfirmed report of minus 32 degrees centigrade in the highlands. Drivers are strongly advised not to travel unless it is strictly necessary and to adequately stock their cars with supplies. One couple died last night when their car broke down on the M8 in Southern Scotland; their bodies were discovered in their vehicle in the early hours of this morning. There were no suspicious circumstances.'

Harry turned to Severus and found him looking right back, Severus looked apologetic and Harry smiled to dismiss the apology. Severus was feeling bad for trying to get them back outside, Harry knew, but there was no way he could have known.

Author's Note: The radio broadcast was adapted from a report of the House of Parliment debate on 17 Jan 1996 on the severe weather conditions that prevailed in Scotland and the North East of England between Christmas Day and New Year 1995 (in my AU it happens now in the present day), the report gives stats on the temperatures and the number of homes without water or electricity during the crisis. The bulk of the debate focused on blaming someone for the chaos which followed. Though I note the homeless people who died on the streets don't even get a mention. It's amazing what you can find on the internet isn't it:) Thinking of Harry's predicament brought to mind memories of 1995 and what it waslike, I decided to use it to make Harry and Sev stay put.


	19. Memories and Dreams Part Two

Author's Note: Summary for chapter: More of Sev's past and Sev gets a 'voice' too. 

This is AU,somewhere in another dimension the Harry Potter we know from the books still exists but in the dimension I am writing about things are a bit darker. The main differences are that the Dursleys were physically abusive and the Marauders relationship and events with Severus are completely different, as is the relationship between Severus and Lucius with the addition of a brother. Warning: some of the characters do nasty things in this chapter.

Coming Soon in the next chapter: knitting, shopping and a Christmas present for Harry. Will and Judith try to find out a bit more about Sev and Harry. Harry makes a pleasing discovery.

Chapter Nineteen - Memories And Dreams Part Two 

James Potter and Sirius Black wandered through the Forbidden Forest both their wands lit to light their way. All the senior students had been sent out as a search party when Severus Snape's disappearance had come to light at curfew. A few hours had passed while the heads of house had patrolled the corridors of the castle and when that failed to produce results, they had been forced to look elsewhere. Now it was the early hours of the morning and everyone was resenting the lack of sleep.

"I don't know why we're bothering. The little runt will be long gone by now and we certainly don't want him back." Sirius grumbled.

"We'll just wander about a bit longer then we'll head back and we'll be able to tell Albus that we did our bit." James insisted.

"Right." Sirius said walking ahead. Suddenly he tripped on something soft and fell flat on his face.

As Sirius was still getting to his feet James leant down to investigate what it was.

"Oh shit, it's him." James said observing, through smears of blood and claw marks, that it was Severus Snape lying amongst the undergrowth.

"Is he dead?" Sirius asked peering down at the unconscious body.

"No. Regrettably." James answered with a look of distaste. "Leave him."

"You can't do that."

"Are you suggesting that we take him back?" James demanded as if it was the silliest idea in the world. "Then he can recover and then we're finished."

"We have to. Nobody ever believes Snivellus anyway."

James thought for a minute. "Actually you're right. We'll take him back. He's obviously been attacked by something; we can be lauded as his saviours long before he gets a chance to talk. Then anything he says will be too much of an embarrassment to the school to be believed."

"I'm just waiting to see how you're going to pull that off."

"Well I, the brave Gryffindor, have just fought off the beast, thus saving his life." James announced. "All we have to do is figure out what it looked like before we get back."

"Are you going to do something to make sure he remains unconscious?" Sirius asked.

"No." James said kicking Severus with his foot and getting no response. "He seems to be pretty much out of it as it is."

"Well you had better pick it up before anybody else comes this way."

James and Sirius managed to get Severus hoisted up over James' shoulder and he staggered a little as he walked towards the edge of the forest and the castle.

"Yuk, and you don't know where it's been." Sirius commented and the two boys burst into simultaneous laughter.

Severus sat in his bedroom awaiting his brother's return. It was late now, way too late. Valarius would no doubt be staying out longer than usual. Severus would have run after him now, if he had known where he was. Valarius would never know how much strength it had taken for him remain true to his argument and not go running after his Kin. Everything in his body had been telling him to go to him but he hadn't.

Suddenly Severus heard the sound of the front door opening and closing. He sprang to his feet and rushed to the stairs and down into the hallway, he would run to his Kin now and no amount of strength could stop him. He knew that within minutes he would be knelt at Valarius's feet.

From the hallway Severus rushed into the dining room where he encountered Lucius as he slid a little on the stone floor and came to a stop. Lucius's expression was grim and Severus' gaze passed from his face to the body lying on the living room table.

A feeling as if somebody had cut him in two with a freezing sword passed through Severus and he could hardly remain standing. Valarius had been laid on the table by Lucius and was quite clearly dead. Severus reached inside his robe pocket and drew the sword. The serpents wound round his wrist as they ought to do, but there was no glow, no glowing orange to show the Bond. He crumpled to the floor.

Valarius's friend Lucius stood as haughty as ever, it was his way, and he stood over Severus.

"He was killed in the service of the Dark Lord." Lucius said. "I will tell your parents."

"Who?" Severus demanded the sword still in his hand.

"A member of their 'Order', I believe." Lucius replied.

A seething fire glowed in Severus' eyes; he knew what he had to do, even if it was to be the death of him, especially if it was to be the death of him. Revenge. Within seconds Severus had grabbed Valarius's sword from his lifeless body and fled the house.

Severus stood by the bookcase in Albus Dumbledore's office, flicking through a text, watching Albus's visitor. The visitor noticed Severus watching him and glowered at him.

"Can't you keep that thing in the dungeon where it belongs?" James Potter asked Albus making no effort to hide his distaste at finding himself in the same room as Severus. "Better still, get rid of it altogether."

"Now, now, James. You may no longer be a student here, but I still require a little respect from you." Albus replied with his usual calm. "I will do whatever I like with the boy, and that includes allowing him to read the Potions texts from my private collection."

Severus glowered back at James Potter. "I am no boy." He hissed.

"No, you're a Death Eater, who by rights should have had a little 'kiss' by now. I should have left you in the forest where I found you." James Potter pointed out with a smile.

"Tea? James?" Albus asked firmly.

James turned away from Severus and returned his attention back to the purpose of his visit. "I would love a cup, thank you Albus." He said pleasantly.

Severus moved closer to Albus's desk as they enjoyed their tea. There were bookcases all the way along that wall, so he had enough of an excuse. He spotted a letter opener lying on the desk, casually placed. James Potter said that he should have died, as if the Gryffindor thought Severus was grateful that he hadn't, he thought grimly. James Potter knew nothing; only Albus and he himself knew that it was no mercy to be kept here. Without his Kin he was merely half a person, his soul ripped in two, the pain was always unbearable. Severus watched the way the light reflected off the knife, as it lay unused, if he dashed forward suddenly as they talked, he could have it.

Severus looked up and saw what James Potter held in his arms, he froze, all thoughts about stabbing himself to death with the knife forgotten in an instant. He stood like a statue, his limp and greasy hair framing his face, his heart filled with an aching more intense than anything else he had ever felt before. He could not draw a breath. James Potter held the one thing he would always crave for and could never have, as long as he lived, however short he managed to make it. Even when his Kin had still been alive, he could not have had this, not as brothers as well as Kin. His Kin Bond had given him all the intense yearning, the physical abilities, but none of the fulfilment and even now his Kin was dead, it didn't cease to torture him. Albus could force him to live, giving him commitments and tasks, playing on his sense of honour and guilt, but he could not give him the one thing that would make him want to live.

Severus could not stop looking at the bundle in James' arms, the baby, he was sleeping, the little hands curled round the edge of the soft blue blanket that he was wrapped in. A single foot kicked loose from the blanket and stretched contentedly, the little tiny mouth moved slightly as he lay nestled against his father's chest.

"So what are you going to name him?" Albus asked, smiling down at the baby James Potter held in his arms.

"Harry." James answered, and then glowered up at Severus, noticing the way that he looked at his child. "Could I respectively ask that you get rid of that thing while my son is here?"

"Severus? Could you leave us alone for a while?" Albus asked turning to Severus.

Severus couldn't form words, somehow he made himself turn and walk away to the other side of the room. He took out a book and bent his head to the pages but he didn't see a word of it. He remained resolutely turned to the text, till Albus was once more alone. When their guests had gone, Severus closed the book and placed it back on the shelf, then stood silently awaiting for Albus's next instructions.

Severus stood in front of Albus's desk.

"The boy will be placed with his Muggle Aunt and Uncle, Hagrid is seeing to it, I must go." Albus announced.

"Surely he would be better off amongst his own kind." Severus suggested, feeling the all-familiar ache within him still.

"Blood is blood, Severus. Who else could I place him with?" Albus continued, making ready to leave.

Severus swallowed hard but looked down, defeated in a battle that nobody else knew existed.

"I will come with you." Severus insisted.

"You will not." Albus returned just as firmly.

"I could help you."

"Severus, you will stay in the dungeons. The Dark Lord has killed two of the Order's heroes; this is no night for a known Death Eater to be roaming free."

"James Potter was no hero." Severus spate in his anger.

"He saved your life! He saved you from whatever it was that attacked you in that forest."

"James Potter was no hero." Severus repeated more calmly and more pointedly, then turned for the door, knowing that even in Albus he had no audience on that subject. He returned to the prison of the dungeons, his drink, his smokes and the comfort of his fire.

Severus stood outside the classroom door. He felt sick, he felt so nauseous that he thought it would be a better idea to retreat to the nearest bathroom, than to force himself to open the door in front of him and enter. He could hear them, chattering. He could only imagine what they found to gossip about.

He could imagine very well what they could be gossiping about despite Albus's ban. Albus could ban words from reaching the ears of teachers but he couldn't ban thoughts and whispers.

Half the children he was about to teach in his first year as a Potions teacher had been there the day he ran into the Forbidden Forest. The other half, no doubt, had brothers or sisters who had been there. Here he was, outside the Potions classroom door, about to be confronted with the teaching of a group of third years and they all knew.

However could he command respect, maintain control, hide everything that was inside of him? Albus wouldn't be there for much longer, sitting at the front of the room beside him. He was meant to be there to supervise his teaching but Severus knew that that was only a very small part of it. Albus kept their silence.

He placed a hand on the door. Their fear was all he had, their fear that he was a Death Eater still and their assumption that he could wield the same power that he had had with his brother. As far as every respectable witch or wizard was concerned, he might as well have pointed his own wand at the little boy and spoke the curse himself. They had no wish for the truth.

Severus drew himself up tall. There was only one way that he could see and it would suffice, to begin with anyway. He took all the force he could and put it behind his hand as he swung the door open so violently that it hit the wall and rattled on its hinges. They all turned to watch and, completely dressed in black flowing robes, Severus strode down the side of the classroom and swooped into position behind the desk. Yes, he had their attention and silence now, he thought, as the third years cowered behind the cauldrons set out on the bench in preparation for the lesson.

After breakfast Will had a number of jobs that needed doing, chipping ice for water, only one of them. Severus had a few pans full of melting ice now but with the anticipation of snow that evening, they weren't over doing it, he had enough to make their evening meal.

Some of the others were sealing up the drafts with tape and others were making sure they had a good supply of coal indoors. Although the temperature had hardly risen all day, it would certainly fall lower come nightfall and they didn't want to have to go out when that happened. Of course nightfall would be around four in the afternoon, so they didn't have much time to prepare.

Severus sat at the table in the kitchen with two joints of lamb in the oven roasting. Harry was slouched in the armchair by the fire with his feet up on one of the chairs and the blanket covering him, he had fallen asleep and Severus was letting him get the rest. The fire was burning brightly in the range and the oven door had been left open to allow the range to heat the room better. There was little point getting the hot water heated since the tank couldn't refill if the water was drawn off.

Severus felt sleepy himself, with the drafts sealed by the tape the kitchen had warmed up nicely and he had several hours before the meat would be ready. He allowed himself the luxury, just this once. Severus slumped forward and laid his head on the table, turning his head to the fire so that he could feel the warmth of it on his face. He cushioned his head with his arms and allowed his eyes to close.

"Albus?" Severus asked in disbelief.

Severus was sat at the table in the kitchen of Sgoil Dhubh lodge but it was dark now. Severus was watching over Harry. Harry still slept by the fire, curled up in the armchair, wrapped in their blanket, one foot protruded from the bottom. His long hair was draped over his shoulders and his mouth moved slightly in his contented sleep. His position reminded Severus of how he had seen Harry as a baby in his father's arms all those years ago.

Severus turned back to Albus who was now stood at the opposite end of the table. Albus gestured to Harry.

"Now, isn't it better this way?" Albus asked smiling faintly.

Severus could only stare.

"You got what you always wanted, in the end." Albus continued. "If I had let you have him then, he would have grown up thinking you were his father." Albus pointed out.

"Have you any idea what the Dursleys did to him?" Severus suddenly spat at Albus.

"Yes." Albus replied sadly. "In my situation you see things much more clearly, whereas before I couldn't, I saw things quite well but apparently not well enough."

"He is all right now." Severus relented.

"Yes, and so are you."

"You know then, what happened?" Severus asked.

"Yes." Albus said looking suddenly regretful. "You should have told me."

"Even you didn't have enough faith in me, to listen to that." Severus remarked grimly.

Albus changed the subject swiftly. "You are doing a good job of looking after him and he looks after you. But tell me Severus."

"Yes?" Severus allowed him to alter course.

"Blissful Death?" Albus smiled grimly. "Trust you to invent your own suicide potion."

"You knew I would find a way one day." Severus said.

"But why on earth did it taste of raspberry?" Albus asked.

"Sev!" Harry called rubbing Severus' shoulder as Severus was fond of doing when he wanted to wake him. The smell of cooking meat now filled the room and it was dark again. Poor Sev, Harry thought, he was so tired too.

Severus lifted his head up from the table. He was not quite awake, he looked a little confused when he looked up at him, Harry thought.

Harry was kneeling at Severus' side and he leant over and planted a small kiss on Severus' forehead.

"It's snowing outside." Harry announced like an excited child.

Severus couldn't help smiling back but then frowned. "I hope you don't think you're going out there?" he scoulded.

"I didn't want us to stay here just so that I could go out in the cold anyway." Harry replied.

"You just seemed so pleased."

"Yes, but remember I wasn't when it was falling on my head, watching it through the window is entirely different." Harry added.

Severus got the meat out of the oven and Harry made a start on the vegetables.

"At least if it's snowing now we might have enough water for tea later." Harry commented brightly, giving a more practical slant to his recent enthusiasm.

Will came into the kitchen via the hallway door.

"That smells good!" He commented. "I think we'll eat in here again, the dining room is just too bloody cold."

"It'll only take another half an hour." Harry informed him.

"Good, good, I'm famished. We'll put a film on later, normal work day tomorrow though, that's if the power doesn't go off. We don't just sit around watching movies all the time you know." Will chatted.

Much later in the evening Severus and Harry eventually lay in their bed by the fire. It was past midnight as they had ended up watching two films, and then listened to Will sing for a while. They were all bedding in the lounge again and it had turned into a bit of a slumber party. Severus wondered if he were the only true adult amongst them, since a snowball fight had also been scheduled for the following morning, despite the piercing cold.

All the pans the kitchen possessed where now lined up along the hearth, catching the heat of the fire so the snow contained within them would be liquid by morning. Severus had already passed his sword over them to remove the impurities. The Muggles may be happy to drink snow water, but he certainly wasn't going to let his Kin do so.

His Kin was now snuggled in his arms again, settled for the night, as he would be night after night, for as long as they both were alive. Severus felt the warmth in his heart that had been missing for too many years. He kissed Harry on his forehead and squeezed him.

"Hey, leave a bit of me for the Dark Lord." Harry joked softly.

He had known not to go out there, Severus thought of his Kin. He wondered if the spirits of dead people had appeared to Harry as Albus had just appeared to him. If so, it certainly hadn't been the spirit of James Potter in Harry's dream, that man would certainly have done something to separate them if he was able.

"You knew to come here, didn't you?" Severus asked.

Harry lay quiet in his arms.

"I know now, what you mean about the voices, what Trelawney believes." Severus added. "Though she also believes it is unlucky to tell another the name of your spirit guide."

"I had help." Harry now admitted. "And we need all the luck we can get, so I won't tell you."

"I had a dream yesterday, at the table. I spoke to one we both know."

"Shh. Don't tell." Harry insisted.

Severus pulled Harry close to him. "It's quite late." He announced. "I think we ought to risk letting you sleep as you are. I think it's unlikely the Dark Lord will try to make you come to him tonight. It's been quite a few days now."

Harry nodded sucking slightly at Severus' neck. "Hmm, I've got something else for you to do with your hands." He replied.

"Really? What?" Severus said sounding innocent but reaching out to one of the pans.

"Use your imagination." Harry said smiling and turning over onto his back submissively.

Severus took his hand from the pan, shook the moisture off then reached beneath the covers.

Harry shrieked. "You complete git, you complete and total git." He said giggling all the same. Harry made a lunge for the snow himself but Severus grabbed him and wrestled him back into his arms and claimed a kiss to silence the protests.

Severus caressed up and down Harry's back with his cold hand, Harry shivered a little at the gentle touch but didn't pull away. Severus pulled Harry towards them so they were touching in more places than not.

"Stay close little one." Severus instructed. "Keep warm."

Severus tried not to think of the dreams he had had about Albus that day, he had been reminded of how he had wanted Harry when he was barely a week old. It had been because he wanted a baby, not Harry in particular, Severus told himself, and he refused to feel weird about it now. Severus felt the more grown up Harry moving against him now. No, Albus had been right as always, this was infinitely better, Harry had certainly not come to think of him as his father.

Severus was walking in the school grounds, he was approaching the Quidditch stadium, night time was approaching and the light was fading fast. He had a book in his hands and he read as he walked. He didn't have to be so wary at this time of the evening; everybody else would be inside doing homework, preparing for bed. He would enjoy his walk then rush back inside just before curfew. It was the only peace he got.

James Potter and his friends were suddenly surrounding him. His guard had been so well down that he hadn't even heard them, not even when they had got close up. They all had their wands drawn and James Potter held a Quidditch broom in his other hand.

"Hello Snivellus." James Potter greeted, cheerful yet menacing.

Severus woke suddenly, he was shaking and his breathing was tight, he still held Harry in his arms.

Harry moved slightly. "Sev, are you all right?" he asked sleepily.

Severus buried his head in Harry's hair. "Yes."

Harry's hand reached up to Severus' head and he began to stroke his fingers through his hair. "I smell bad dreams." Harry said.

"Hmm." Severus said leaning into Harry's touch. "All better now."

TBC


	20. Knitwear

Chapter Summary: Sev goes shopping and Harry has Judith for company. 

Author's Note: Although it seems a bit fluffy, this sets up a few things that need to happen before the next chapter as was the case with Chapter 19.

Thanks as ever to all my reviewers some of which are doing a very good job of keeping me on my toes. Thanks you guys :) A lot of the loose ends I have, will be tied up in the final battle/end chapter.

Does anybody have any idea what would be a good name for the sequel? This has been bugging me for a while. It will involve the MPREG stuff. but will mostly be about Harry and Sev's reintegration into the wizarding world and the role they play in rebuilding it. I am searching for a line from a song but no luck so far.

I don't currently have a beta reader, would anybody like to do it?

Reviewers notes at the bottom :)

Chapter Twenty - Knitwear 

Will approached Judith in the hallway.

"I've got a little job for you, will you do me a favour?" Will asked brightly.

Judith had an armful of thick knitting wool in her arms, she gave Will a withering look. "I'm busy knitting today, normal work day remember."

"Oh, no, it won't disturb that. I merely ask that you decamp to the kitchen."

"The kitchen?"

"Yes, I would like you to sit with Alex and talk to him." Will replied.

"Talk to him? What are you going to do with his boyfriend?"

"I am going shopping in Fort William and I hope to take Richard with me."

"Why?"

"I wish to have the opportunity to talk, perhaps with the aim of getting to know our visitors better so that I can ask them to stay."

"So why do I have to talk to the boy?" Judith persisted.

"The way you're going on you'd think you didn't like them." Will accused mildly.

"No, I just like to give you a hard time."

Will sighed. "There is something wrong with him, something weird about them and we are going to find out what it is."

Judith smiled. "Oh, I see."

"So?"

"Yea, deal." Judith said wandering off with the wool. "Let me know when I'm wanted."

Harry sat with Severus at the table enjoying a post breakfast cup of tea. It was still freezing cold outside but the snow water tea didn't taste too different.

"If we're staying here till New Year." Severus began. "We're going to have to think up an excuse for the visions. The first one you had in Stirling occurred during the day."

"It's all right Sev, I know what to say." Harry said calmly.

"Really?" Severus asked, a little surprised.

"Yes." Harry said preparing to elaborate. "I have been told that the visions look like epileptic seizures to anybody who doesn't know what they are. Nobody here is a Muggle doctor, and even they can't tell one thing from another most of the time. It will be fine. My parents are dead, most likely reason would be a car crash, which I barely survived. I don't want to take the bandana off in company because I have a nasty big scar and I don't like people staring at me or fussing over me. Not that far from the truth." Harry shrugged.

Severus took a sip of tea. "I am a little disturbed that you have thought this all through."

"Most of it was what the Dursleys used to say about me when they had to explain themselves. It's amazing how much you can manage to damage yourself having a seizure you know." Harry said looking into his teacup.

Severus felt a little speechless, Harry had virtually admitted to being beaten but he wasn't sure if he was meant to notice or not. No, Harry said he didn't like to be fussed over, caring for him was enough.

"Richard." Will said brightly as he entered the kitchen.

"Will." Severus replied warily, sensing that the man was up to something.

"I am going into Fort William and I would like you to come with me." Will announced.

"Oh." Severus replied immediately running through all the consequences of complying in his head.

"We really need to stock up on food and I need a hand."

"All right." Severus agreed, his mind failing to think up a good enough excuse not to go. He could feel Harry panicking from across the room.

"Judith can keep Alex company." Will added feeling the tension between the two. They were really nervous about being out of each other's presence. Will had gathered that their relationship was quite intense but this went beyond what he had so far imagined. "We'll be there and back in a couple of hours." Will added.

Harry looked to Severus with a pleading look, but he knew that there was little Severus could do without arousing suspicion.

"I'll be fine here, you go, make sure you bring me back some chocolate." Harry said putting a brave face on it, knowing that Severus understood and that he didn't have to spell out to him the bit about being careful and coming back in one piece or else.

Judith came into the room balancing a selection of knitting wool balls on top of two large photo albums. She attempted to place the items on the kitchen table but had to retrieve several balls of wool from the floor.

Severus pulled both of his coats on and placed a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder as he turned to leave the kitchen, and subsequently the house, with Will.

Harry stared at the door to the hallway, as it swung shut. This was the first time they had needed to be apart since Sev had still been Snape.

"I'll make us some coffee shall I?" Judith asked making for the kettle on the stove.

Harry didn't particularly want to be fed by anybody other than Severus but he agreed to a cup of coffee.

"I have to get on with some knitting." Judith explained. "That's part of what I do to earn my keep around here. During the winter I make 'designer Highland knitwear' and in the summer I sell it to tourists for a handsome profit. It's not a living as most people would see it, but it gets me all I wish for."

When the coffee was ready Judith handed Harry a mug and sat herself down at the table. She took out a piece of knitting suspended from some knitting needles and began to work. It was a small piece and was made up of lots of colours of wool. Harry drank his coffee and felt pleased that Judith wasn't about to barrage him with questions in order to force conversation.

"Is that for a child?" Harry asked as he began to feel a little more comfortable with his change of company.

"Higher profit margin. I can makes loads of kids stuff and they're so interesting to do. Men want plain and boring and that's plain and boring to knit."

Harry noticed something that didn't quite fit with the rest of the items, a small ball of soft pink wool and a single knitted baby's bootie. Judith was knitting away at quite a speed; Harry picked the bootie up and held it in his hand.

"I have to knit another one, it's for a cousin, she's just had a baby." Judith suddenly explained, having seen Harry holding it.

Harry quickly placed the bootie back on the table, his mind had begun to wander as he held it and he was half glad that Judith had brought him back to reality, he couldn't afford to think in that way.

"It's really sweet, so small." Harry said despite his resolve not to think about it.

"The wool is really thin and fiddly to knit, I prefer the chunky Aran wool." Judith said briskly, she was a woman, but baby cuteness was definitely off topic said her tone of voice. "Why don't you look through the photo albums?" She suggested.

Harry picked up one of the albums, it was old and thick with dust.

"Those ones are from when Will's parents were still alive. A lot of the guests who've stayed here over the years have left a picture with the family behind. Will had kept up the tradition, but it's not compulsory." Judith explained.

Harry flicked through. They were all faded colour Muggle photographs, no animation. It was as if life had never been in these people. Harry flicked the pages, hardly paying attention after a while.

"Oh, that is a picture of Will when he was about ten, and beside him is a visitor who he says was his special friend. Until he left that is." Judith pointed out, still somehow knitting at the same time as scanning the photos along with Harry.

Harry couldn't think why Will at the age of ten should be so fascinating but he dutifully paid attention to the snap anyway. It wasn't as faded as the rest and was dated May 1974. What caught Harry's attention most of all though, was the rest of the caption below the picture. 'Alexian and Will May 1974' it read in a calligraphic hand. Harry felt the smile spread across his face and really looked at the picture. The Alexian in the picture was exactly like the Alexian he had seen in his dream the first night the voice came to him. He was about eighteen years old and stood beside a clearly ten year old Will. Alexian wore a patchwork jacket and he wore braids and beads in his shoulder length hair.

"He does look very like you, about the same age then as well. Quite tall, but gangly like a teenager often is." Judith commented.

Harry could see the similarities between Alexian and himself but it was more to do with the hair than anything else and that had been Albus's doing, with his mysterious spy potions.

"You seem a little nervous." Judith commented.

Harry had been feeling fidgety despite his best efforts and he had been watching the door too, unable to settle to anything much. Judith had noticed but it was as good a time as any to introduce the story that he had discussed with Severus that morning.

"I don't like being on my own, I mean, without somebody who knows me." Harry began.

Severus pulled his coat tight around him as they stepped outside. It was colder than anything he had ever experienced; he could feel the heat being sucked from his body despite his many layers of clothing. Will led him to a tarpaulin covered Land Rover and they carefully pulled the cover off to minimise the amount of snow that fell onto them.

Severus was feeling very nervous but was using his experience as a spy to cover it. Unfortunately this was nothing like pretending to remain a Death Eater. Will was at ease and was eager to be friendly, he expected the same in return, it was beyond any experience Severus had ever had. He had needed to get away from the house though, for one reason, and away from Harry, for another.

Will climbed into the driving seat and Severus joined him on the other side. The vehicle started first time and Will made off down the drive without bothering to clear it of snow. The vehicle rocked wildly from side to side and Severus held onto the seat as if that would help.

"This old girl may look like a clapped out old tank, but I could drive it up one of those hills there, no problem." Will said with mischief in his eyes.

"Please don't." Severus said stiffly.

Will smiled at Severus' terror. "I'll keep to the road."

The vehicle swung out onto the main road, which hadn't been cleared of snow either, the wheels losing their grip for only a second as it turned. They continued to bounce along over the irregularities in the snow-covered road; it had drifted into mounds in places.

"This Land Rover belonged to my parents, remarkable, in production since the 1950s and over seventy percent of them are still on the road." Will chatted.

All Severus could see was a tin can on wheels, which scarcely seemed road worthy at all. He hoped that it had been covered by the ward when it was cast back in 1974, thus minimising the risk he was taking, should they ever reach Fort William in one piece.

Eventually they arrived in Fort William and Will parked in a small supermarket cark park. They were on the High Street, which appeared to be quite long.

"Need to do anything while we're here?" Will asked.

"I need certain things." Severus answered looking down the High Street, trying to tell what was available. Looking for the right bank in particular.

Will gestured to the supermarket. "Meet me in there." He said.

Severus strode off down the High Street. It was mercifully quiet; presumably the cold had driven all but the brave off the streets. He looked around him, scouting for potential threats, there were just Muggles walking the street, going about their business.

Severus walked up the street, soon locating the bank, he withdrew the daily maximum and pushed all the cash into his wallet. The less he used the card the better, even if he had been assured of its security. Then he surveyed the shops; he needed to get a present. He didn't want it to be like the books had been, a peace offering which had only coincidentally been appropriate. Severus wanted to give a proper gift this time; it had to say a whole lot more. There were quite a few clothing shops and the usual selection of newsagents and grocery stores. He headed back to the supermarket while he had a think about it.

Will was pushing a trolley up and down the aisles. Severus took his own basket so that he could get things specifically for Harry; he was determined to provide for him, despite their strange living arrangement. Will had a list and was obtaining the things required for their meals, along with cleaning items.

"I need to buy a present, what could you suggest?" Severus asked.

Will looked a little surprised but overcame it well. "Fort William has the best range of woollen clothing in the Highlands but not an awful lot else."

"Sweaters?" Severus queried, thinking that sounded like a very good idea if they were suitable.

"Yes, amongst other things, do either of you have one already?"

"No."

"Then I think it would be essential, how on earth did you expect to survive without decent clothing?"

"We were all right." Severus defended.

"Although a sweater is a bit practical to be a present." Will commented.

To a Kin, though, a practical present was the most valuable sort, it meant the most, if Severus gave Harry something that would keep him safe it would be a symbol of his protection, much more significant than some frivolous trinket. "A sweater will do very well, could you show me the best shop? There appear to be several." Severus asked.

Judith was making them another cup of coffee when Harry found that his hand had reached across the table again and was holding the bootie. He quickly dropped it again as soon as he realised, he certainly didn't want Sev walking into the kitchen and seeing that.

Judith returned to the table with the coffee.

"I will have to tell Will." Judith said.

"Will he still let us stay?" Harry asked, suddenly thinking of the potential problem.

"I doubt that he will let you go out into the cold, whatever is going on, you're safer having it happen here. I think it was a silly idea to try to travel like you did."

"I could hardly wait till things were better, and Richard was looking after me." Harry replied trying to think on his feet as the conversation evolved.

"I'll have to tell him just so I can keep some control over the puddings. Will laces them all with sherry for New Year." Judith explained.

"Hmm." Harry responded, not quite knowing what she meant.

"I am presuming that alcohol will clash with your medication." Judith continued.

"Yes, it will." Harry agreed, accepting the necessary sacrifice, even though he would have liked to get drunk with Sev again.

Will and Severus entered one of the woollen wear stores. The rails along both walls were filled with kilts and cardigans. The centre of the store was covered by a number of tables upon which were stacked a plentiful and varied supply of sweaters. There had to be just about every colour and pattern that it was possible to buy.

Severus felt a little overwhelmed by the choice; he thought he would have felt better if he hadn't had to make a decision.

"What do you think?" Severus asked Will.

Severus had resolved to try and be a bit friendlier with Will; he didn't seem bad at all, for a Muggle. That was, if he could figure out how to be friendly.

"Well the patterned ones are a bit granddaddy and the Aran ones a bit too thick if you're not used to wearing wool, a bit scratchy around the neck. I would say a plain colour would be best and pick one in lambswool."

Will pointed to a table across the store, which Severus was very grateful for. He approached the waiting heap of sweaters and cast his eyes across the selection of colours.

"It wouldn't be such a bad idea to buy yourself one too." Will suggested.

Severus agreed with him wholeheartedly, since, after only being outside for a short time, he was frozen through. He picked up two sweaters, one was the colour he chose for Harry and the other was a colour that Severus hoped Harry would find amusing to find him wearing. Severus used the gold card for the second time in one day after Will had corrected him on his choice of sizes.

Harry still had to force himself not to jump when the kitchen door to the hallway opened for the fifth time. Every time it had been someone coming in for a cup of tea and not Sev. Harry was sure that if Judith hadn't noticed so far, she soon would do.

On this occasion however Harry saw a snowy boot first and then the rest of Will. His heart was in his mouth when Severus entered the room behind him, quickly followed by a relief so great it felt like it was washing over him. Harry couldn't help smiling, no matter what would be thought of it.

Sev was carrying several bags of shopping, which he laid on the table. Severus gave Harry a subtle and controlled look, which nevertheless told Harry that he was glad to be back too.

Judith started to pack up her knitting things, it was starting to get dark anyway, another snow cloud was fast approaching, turning day into night.

"I'll put the kettle on." Harry said jumping to his feet. "You must be frozen."

Harry made a large amount of tea but his main concern was to comfort his Kin, he handed Sev his steaming mug of tea personally, then took up a chair beside him.

Judith and Will put the shopping away in the cupboards and Severus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Were you all right?" Severus asked.

"Yes, I told Judith about my little problem." Harry explained.

"Good." Severus said, almost in a whisper. "I have a little something for you, but you'll have to wait."

"When they've gone to bed?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Severus said noticing that both Will and Judith had their backs turned to them. He leant over to Harry and drew him into a kiss, which held promises for later too.

Harry watched as Severus stood at the stove preparing dinner and thought about how far they had come. He again had the vegetables to peel and cut. Although he felt much better, it was an arrangement that worked, so they had decided to stick to it.

Sev looked quite relaxed, Harry thought, something that he hadn't seen in him much. It suited him, though it was a world away from the Snape that he had thought he knew before. It was hard to remember that they were the same person sometimes, especially at moments such as these.

A mischievous thought suddenly entered Harry's brain, he didn't have them often at all, but this one was particularly irresistible. Harry stood up and stepped quietly towards Severus as he worked. He was stirring some stew and he held the pot of pepper in one hand. He reached over the pan with the pot and tipped the pot.

"You can't put that in yet." Harry said loud and clear from his position just beside Severus. To Harry's delight Severus jumped at the surprise and the pepper pot slipped from his hand and tumbled down onto the hob and thankfully not into the stew itself.

Harry jumped back, trying to hold in the laughter that was threatening to choke him. Severus swung round to face him; his face was perfect rage apart from a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. Harry couldn't hold back any longer.

"Oh, so you think that's funny." Severus tried to snap, he was really trying to look angry but was now failing miserably.

"No." Harry managed to squeak.

Severus couldn't help feeling the warmth of the situation, the conclusive proof he had, that Harry was no longer scared of him on any level. "I'll take that as revenge for the ice." He commented.

"Not for the ice, no." Harry said to himself as he regained his composure and Severus returned to the cooking.

Harry and Severus found themselves alone in the kitchen after the evening meal had been eaten.

"Will has the film version of the book we've been reading, he says he'll put it on for us." Harry said to Severus as they finished the washing up.

Severus wrapped his arms round Harry and felt for the talisman, which was still held in place against his skin, Severus stood with his hand over it.

"Somewhere, in some dimension or other, the story of the ring exists for real. It is said that wisps or echoes of each dimension pass through all the others, manifesting as ideas and culminating sometimes as stories. Somewhere, in a dimension assessable by the talisman, there may be a book where our story is told. Not exactly the same, but the basic structure of our lives will survive. Maybe in another dimension we exist for real, but differently, and I never get this opportunity, you never learn to stop hating me. I never stop making you hate me." Severus said.

"You've come to think of this as an opportunity." Harry stated leaning into his Kin's hold.

"I always did, I just didn't think it could go well, I didn't have any hope."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." Harry replied smiling grimly. "How did this catastrophe turn into the best part of my life?"

Severus bent his head to Harry's neck, pulling the shirt to the side a little so that he could kiss him. He knew that he could take it no further till later, but he stole a bit more anyway.

"I could give you the thing I got." Severus announced forcing himself to pull away from Harry.

Severus went into the hallway and returned with a large bag. He felt more than a bit nervous suddenly. He wasn't accustomed to the giving of gifts and didn't really know how to conduct himself.

"Will said I should have one too." Severus said pulling the burgundy sweater from the bag and pulling it on.

Harry approached him he held out the other, a particular shade of green.

To Severus' relief Harry's eyes lit up and he put his sweater on too. They stood looking at each other for a moment or two. Harry's eyes filled with tears before he flung himself at Severus.

Severus was more than a bit puzzled as Harry settled his head against his chest, closing his eyes and still looking upset.

"What have I done?" Severus asked knowing that there was no other way of knowing.

"I always get a sweater for Christmas." Harry explained.

Severus wrapped his arms round Harry. "I didn't know." He said still wondering why that should be a problem since he certainly hadn't brought any of them with him.

"Mrs Weasley." Harry said, explaining everything.

Will and Judith sat enjoying a whiskey in the living room while everyone else was getting ready for bed.

"So how did your day go?" Will asked Judith.

Judith knew that he meant her little chat with Alex. "A little sad." She answered. "There is something wrong."

"And?" Will prompted when Judith seemed a little reluctant to continue.

"Epilepsy, fairly well controlled he says." Judith answered eventually.

"Better here than out there." Will replied noticing that Judith was watching for his reaction.

"They didn't want to tell us." Judith added.

"Well, I understand that."

"Also, this is perhaps the saddest bit."

"Hmm?"

"The baby booties, he couldn't keep his hands off the one I've finished."

"Right." Will said feeling suddenly a little uncomfortable.

"Just think, to want something like that and know it is beyond your reach." Judith continued.

"He's only a boy." Will replied, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yes." Judith said then changed the subject in a brighter tone. "So how did your morning go?"

"Well, he didn't talk much. I think I frightened him with my driving." Will answered. "Very nervous about being away from young Alex, though now we know why. He's bought him a present, the sweater you saw him wearing."

"Oh, that's so sweet. So are you going to ask them then?" Judith asked.

"Do you want me to?" Will asked in return.

"Yes."

"Then, all things being as good as they are now, I will ask them come New Year." Will answered downing the rest of his drink and getting ready to lay out all the bedding for another night in the living room.

TBC


	21. Death Eater Snape and The Kin That Never...

Author's Note: I was going to put the following summary at the bottom of the last chapter but that would have been really evil.Hope you have all been enjoying nice fluffy Sev :) looks below at summary with evil grin oh dear, not so fluffy Sev. 

How about 'Tango At The End Of Winter' for the sequel name. It's the title of a play Alan Rickman was in and it's been rattling around in my head as a chapter title for a while.

Much thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Reviewer's notes below.

Chapter Summary: Severus Snape reports to the Dark Lord on the whereabouts of Harry Potter and Lucius Malfoy makes sure the weather claims a few more victims. Will proves to be more than your average Muggle.

Chapter Twenty One - Death Eater Snape and The Kin That Never Was 

Harry climbed into bed. Severus was still stood in the kitchen with all his clothes on and both his coats on top of the sweater. He leant over and picked up the coal bucket.

"I need to fill this before we turn in." Severus said heading for the door into the hallway, from which he would step outside and walk to the coalhouse. "I won't be long."

"Famous last words." Harry said, only joking but with an edge of wariness.

"I'm only going to the coalhouse." Severus said, thinking that he really ought to tell Harry about the ward sometime soon. He left the room and headed for the front door.

Severus had barely been gone half a minute when Harry's scar started to itch. Then with unprecedented speed, the pain followed. Harry gripped his head, knowing that Severus was too far away to be called for. He would be back in a minute though, Harry told himself as the pain increased and his head started to feel fuzzy as the vision took over. Though Severus had developed a talent for wandering off lately, something that made Harry feel very anxious indeed.

Harry was a servant in the Dark Lord's household this time. He walked around a large hall serving drinks to Death Eaters. A meeting was being held and the Dark Lord sat in a chair at the top of the room. He looked around at the guests, looking to see who needed a fresh drink. He was aware that as a servant, the lowest of the low, he would be in a lot of trouble if he wasn't quick enough at his duties.

Beside the Dark Lord stood Severus Snape. He was dressed in the dark coloured robes that he always wore as a Potions and Psychic Healing Master. Over the top of these he wore a cloak and his hair hung lifelessly down, only just touching his shoulders. He suddenly knelt at the Dark Lord's feet as Harry the servant approached the two.

A door opened at the end of the room and Harry the servant looked towards the noise. Lucius Malfoy had entered and now approached Snape and the Dark Lord. Snape stood to greet his friend and they interacted with each other, in a stiff and aristocratic manner. Lucius then went on his knee before the Dark Lord also. The servant got closer to the group and offered the new arrivals a drink, allowing Harry a much better viewpoint. Somehow Harry knew that Lucius was allowed to greet his friend first, though he didn't know the reason, the Dark Lord certainly seemed to be untroubled by the behaviour of the two men.

As Lucius stood up, Snape turned to the servant. Harry felt himself wanting to shrink back from the cold look but found the servant didn't want to move. As Harry was in the servant's body he was forced to stay too. Snape reached a hand out to take a glass from the tray that the servant had balanced on one upturned hand. Snape didn't lower his gaze and the servant looked directly back into cold dark penetrating eyes as Snape took a first sip from the glass. Harry was very relieved when Snape returned his attentions to the Dark Lord, what had been only a moment had seemed like forever.

"Any news on the Potter boy?" The Dark Lord asked his most loyal followers.

"No, my Lord." Lucius replied. "I have come to tell you of the disappearance of Albus Dumbledore. He is no longer at Hogwarts."

"One by one, they crumble and desert." The Dark Lord said smiling darkly. "Severus?"

"Surely Potter can only be hidden at Hogwarts? We will turn the place upside down." Snape suggested. "He would not survive long outside the protection of the castle without coming to our notice."

"He certainly has some help from somewhere, yet everybody is accounted for. The only teacher who isn't at Hogwarts is you, dear Severus. All the students are either dead or else their locations are known to us. Apart from young Draco that is, though he will be in no state to help by now, is that not correct Lucius? Whoever he is with cannot be of any consequence." The Dark Lord added.

Lucius grimaced at the mention of his son's name. "You are quite correct." He answered. "And Albus has only just recently gone, my lord."

"Tomorrow." The Dark Lord demanded. "We will take the castle tomorrow. No doubt the Potter boy will be there, or else he is alone, or better still with Muggles. No, this will be over quite soon."

"Yes, my Lord. We will see to it personally." Snape and Lucius replied simultaneously.

"At last, Severus, you may get your revenge yet."

Snape replied with a cold smile. "Yes, my Lord." He agreed. "I certainly think I will."

"If Potter isn't at Hogwarts, you will tear up every last fragment of their 'Order' looking for him. You have the whereabouts of their premises?" The Dark Lord continued.

"Yes, we have all the locations, some very interesting information has already been retrieved." Lucius informed the Dark Lord.

Severus Snape held his arms behind his back and played with the potion phial in his hand as the meeting progressed.

"Severus?" The Dark Lord continued. "You still have access to Hogwarts?"

"Certainly. They are as yet unaware of my defection, officially I have been on a mission for the Order during my lengthy absence." Snape replied. "There have been many rumours about my allegiance, but that is nothing new. As long as I still have Albus's trust there is little they can do. Although that might change now that he is gone."

"You will go there tonight and search the tower. We must make sure the Talisman has not been left behind; it would be just like Albus to leave it lying around like nothing of any consequence. I have plans for that tower."

"Certainly, my Lord. Consider it done." Severus Snape replied the sneering smile once more upon his face.

the next day

In Fort William a man with long blond hair and a long flowing coat, it could have been a cloak to anyone who looked closer, walked down the long High Street. He held a piece of parchment in his hand.

Lucius Malfoy scanned the parchment, smiling smugly to himself. Finally all their efforts were paying off. On the parchment were details from a muggle credit card account, which they had been tracking since they had found the documents amongst a trunk full of other 'Order' items. There had been no activity since they had found the account, not for a while, but Lucius had waited, patience certainly was everything. Just the day before there had been two transactions, both in a town called Fort William.

Although it couldn't be guaranteed that this card had been created for the use of the Potter boy, the onset of the spending activity and the erratic travel that the account indicated, certainly pointed to it being the case. Lucius had apparated into a back street as soon as he could. The man who had been standing there as Lucius appeared was later found by a local couple returning home from the pub, a verdict of death by hypothermia would be recorded on the death certificate a few days later. Lucius smiled to himself, he had always been proud of the fact that his curses invariably fitted the occasion and had a certain sophistication, subtlety and imagination to them.

Lucius crossed the road and entered a shop, having checked the name of it above the door beforehand. He approached the woman with the name badge on her blouse, presuming her to be the proprietor.

"I am looking for a young man, perhaps he was dressed differently to what you might expect, he came in here yesterday. Have you seen him?" Lucius asked the woman, trying his best to sound like a Muggle and not liking the turn his duties to the Dark Lord had taken at all. He regretted that mixing with these people had become necessary, but the glory would soon be his.

"No, I saw no young man in here." The woman said with certainty.

Lucius could not doubt the woman's memory, since the shop was otherwise empty apart from himself. She would not have forgotten a customer.

"Though, if it's different you're looking for, there's Sgoil Dhubh Lodge, a few miles down the road from here. The man who owns it was here yesterday." The woman added, knowing that the house of hippies always had a turnover of visitors; some of them she had always suspected might be runaways.

"Sgoil Dhubh? Indeed." Lucius replied, suddenly thoughtful.

Lucius quickly made sure that the women wouldn't be able to tell anybody of his visit and left the shop.

Lucius turned towards the south once he was back on the street. He would walk it. The woman had said it would be a few miles but he didn't want to risk passing it by, as he was unsure how accurate her estimation of distance might have been.

An hour or two later Lucius approached an old Muggle man clearing snow from his garden path.

"Do you know where I might find Sgoil Dhubh Lodge?" Lucius asked him.

"Yes." The man said amiably. "That would be the next house down but one."

Lucius approached the man and drew his wand. The man looked a little puzzled. Lucius pointed his wand at the man.

"Solas suarach." Lucius spoke with a hiss.

The man dropped to the ground, the warmth of his body sucked from him, rapid and painless death sure to soon follow. The warmth now enriched Lucius's own body, drawn up through the wand and into his hand.

Severus would have been so pleased to see this day, Lucius thought, suddenly remembering his fellow Death Eater and all the work they had put into finding the Potter boy. If only he had managed to resist the power of the Kin just a few more weeks, Lucius considered, but it was not to be. He had resisted longer than anybody had ever thought he would, all those years. Severus had been expected to take his own life within days of his brother's death, but in the end, no matter how well he had resisted, it had claimed him still.

Once the powerful, obsessive, possessive hold of the Kin had taken over them, there had been little chance for either Severus or Valarius to lead any kind of normal life, not that they had then wanted it. Family and friends were essentially distanced; nobody dared try to come between them. While they were together Severus and Valarius had been awesome and powerful, but without his Kin, Severus had been little more than a shell, craving revenge and death.

Clearly power wasn't everything. Yes, Lucius shuddered at the memories, he should be glad that he had not himself been chosen for the Kin after all, time had shown him how wrong it had been to crave it. Yet he did still crave it.

Lucius recalled finding the already cold body slumped in an armchair in Snape's private quarters in the old Snape house. He had been dressed as he always had been, the same style of clothes since his Kin had died, the empty potion phial in his lap and a neck chain, from which hung an hourglass pendant, clutched in his other hand. 'Blissful Death', the label on the potion phial read.

How very Severus, Lucius thought now with a grim smile, he had never seen nor heard of such a potion before. Although they had not been great friends, Lucius could acknowledge the determination of the man and he didn't mind admitting to himself that he felt a little saddened by Severus' passing, just as he had been saddened by the death of his brother, Valarius. It was a long hard road they all travelled in the service of the Dark Lord, Lucius knew that as much as anybody.

Lucius walked a short distance further and soon came to stand in front of a gate and an area of garden enclosed by a high hedge.

earlier that morning

When Harry woke the next morning Severus wasn't there beside him. When Harry sat up he could see clearly that Severus wasn't even in the kitchen. Then he remembered the vision. Severus Snape had been with the Dark Lord and had been a loyal follower.

Harry became desperate, surely it couldn't be real, Severus had been with him the whole time. Where was Severus now?

Sev was different with him though, not at all like the Snape who had been his teacher. The Snape in the vision had been very like the Snape who had been his teacher, identical. Panic was setting in, where the hell could Sev be?

The kitchen door opened and Harry's heart was in his mouth as he willed it to be nobody else but Severus.

Severus entered the room carrying a tray laden with mugs.

"You're awake." Severus said smiling gently down at Harry. "I just went to get the dirty ones. Need to get them cleaned before we can have breakfast." Severus placed the cups down on the kitchen table.

Harry wriggled out of the sleeping bag as quickly as he could and launched himself at Severus nearly toppling him over.

"What did you say to me the day of the Potions exam, when you stood over me and I dropped my spoon?" Harry asked as he held his head tightly against Severus' chest.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry. "Nothing. I never spoke to you." Severus answered feeling justifiably puzzled. "Do you intend to tell me what this is all about?"

"Stupid bloody vision." Harry replied holding Severus tightly. "Just a stupid bloody vision."

"Who was in it?" Severus asked.

"You were." Harry answered.

"I was?" Severus asked, his head trying to formulate a way that it could be possible.

"You, the Dark Lord and Lucius Malfoy, you were all planning the attack on Hogwarts together." Harry tried to explain.

"This is definitely one for the swords, but we can't do it now."

Harry was beginning to panic, despite Severus having answered his question. He took a step backwards away from Severus, now at a more conversational distance. "Was it real?" Harry asked.

"I think it might well have been. To deceive by changing details is one thing, but to create a whole scene is something else. As far as I know that only happened once."

Harry tensed at the allusion to Sirius but fought his feelings to continue with the matter at hand. "Then how can it be possible?" Harry asked.

Severus could see the fear in Harry's eyes. "You have some experience with the use of Polyjuice Potion, I recall." He began.

To Harry's panicking mind, Severus sounded quite stern. His heart was sinking. It was obvious, this was why Severus was so different to the Snape he knew. He was such a fool, to be taken away from all the people he should have stayed to help. "Oh shit." Harry whispered feeling as if his whole world was about to crumble.

Severus' mind was catching up, he saw the horror on Harry's face, the slight shake of his head, the small step backwards, the sudden sickly pale face. "Not me!" Severus snapped, hoping to shake Harry out of going any further with his thoughts. "The man in your vision! I have neither the storage capacity, nor the time, nor the ingredients available to me, to keep up such a deception for what must be over five months now. However, my private stores at Hogwarts certainly contain everything you could possibly need, in order to pull off such a trick, as well you know."

Harry started to breath again, his Sev knew about his school day adventures, all was right. "One of the students?" Harry asked.

Severus took a breath and remembered that Harry was distraught and vulnerable from the vision. "No, Albus, I think it must be him. When I look at the vision, no doubt I will be able to tell then for sure."

"He would do it to protect us." Harry stated, feeling still stunned from the recently passed threat of his whole world collapsing.

"Yes, he may well have been impersonating me, to some extent, from the day we left." Severus agreed. "He was the only one who knew enough to do it."

"All the while giving out the impression that he still trusted you, and at the same time making you behave as if you were drifting off to the dark side after all, proving him to be mistaken. Albus disappears and Snape devotes himself full time to the Dark Lord and finding me, nobody noticing that both happen at the same time." Harry said working the idea through. "That'll take some explaining if we ever get home."

Harry came to stand closer to Severus and Severus took him into his arms again, ignoring Harry's obsession with referring to Hogwarts as 'home' even though neither of them had any connection with the place any longer, Dark Lord or no Dark Lord.

"What you saw in the vision was the Snape that everybody came to assume I was. The mask I wore for so long, you have the real one, though nobody knows he exists. You found him again." Severus spoke softly with his head resting on Harry's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I should have known better." Harry said, his head resting against Severus, he was reluctant to move.

"Come, help me with breakfast, they'll all be up soon." Severus said easing Harry away from his chest, hoping that the conversation hadn't been overheard by anybody passing in the hallway.

Severus put a pan onto the stove and started to make a large batch of porridge.

"They had no idea where I was." Harry told Severus as he handed over the bag of oatmeal. "He thinks I may still be at the castle, at least he did before they went there to blow it up."

"No way of telling how they've come on since then." Severus added.

"No, though Draco is missing, that was interesting, as far as I knew he was going to his father after graduation. He's the only one, apart from myself, who can't be accounted for, if what they said can be trusted." Harry added.

"That is where he was going as far as I knew too." Severus added remembering the end of term as Head of Slytherin House.

"Though we know what everybody thought WE were going to do, and look how that turned out." Harry said spooning some sugar into the porridge pan as he stood by Severus' side.

"Yes, you've turned me into a bloody house elf." Severus grumbled. "And they all think I'm just a Death Eater."

Harry couldn't help laughing. "You've nearly got the ears for it." He joked.

"Do you want salt in this?" Severus asked, turning to glower at Harry.

Harry and Severus didn't get much chance to talk after breakfast. It was still so cold in the rest of the house that Judith joined them for much of the morning and Harry read some more of the book, which they had pretty much forgotten about since their arrival at the house. Watching the first film had sparked Harry's interest though and Judith seemed to know the story well already.

Judith wasn't working on the child's clothing that she intended to sell. To Harry's dismay, she took up the soft pink wool and started on the other bootie. She had the pattern for them laid open on the table and it was also a pattern for some other matching baby items, a little jacket and a bonnet.

Harry played with one of the other balls of wool so intently that Judith at first likened him to a cat, then offered to show him how to knit.

With Harry occupied, Severus decided that he would clear the path to the gate of snow, before Will decided to take them on another scary shopping mission. It would also be an opportunity to check that the ward was still in place. Regardless of whether it had been in place since the mid seventies or not, he wasn't going to risk it just disappearing one day.

Severus stepped outside the house, having successfully got past all of Will's insistence that he shouldn't bother himself with such a task as clearing the path. Muggles were still proving to be more difficult than Death Eaters and he had only been given the shovel and allowed to continue, after Will had bullied him into wearing a hat and a scarf, a multicoloured, knitted hat, with felt antlers on the top. The hat and scarf were keeping him warm, but Severus scowled to himself in a way that would have convinced Harry, that he was the Snape that he remembered for sure.

The sky was so overcast with snow clouds that it seemed like nighttime already. The lights were on in the living room; Severus could just see the glow from behind the closed curtains that were helping to keep the warm in. It suited him very well; he would draw his sword when he got a bit closer to the gate. Severus began to shovel snow to the side of the path.

Severus cleared halfway down the path then stood up straight to take a rest. He arched his back to stretch it and looked towards the gate. A man came into view and stood by the gate, he stood on the roadside looking over it into the garden, Severus froze where he was standing, it was Lucius Malfoy.

Lucius turned to look beyond the gate and stood looking straight at Severus with no sign of recognition on his face, he looked beyond him as if he wasn't there.

Hardly in control of his own physical movements, Severus started to walk towards Lucius, his feet crunching in the snow. Lucius seemed to peer to the side as if searching for something and not finding it, and then peered to the other side. Severus came to stand barely five feet in front of Lucius as he continued to look right through him.

He would not need to draw his sword to check the ward after all, Severus thought as he observed his brother's friend. The man his whole family and everyone of their immediate acquaintance had assumed that Valarius would take as his Kin.

Severus remembered his brother's friendship with Lucius, they had grown up together, and in their early twenties they had dressed almost totally alike. Valarius and Lucius had been inseparable. So when Severus had become old enough, he had been a friend with Lucius too, when he wasn't at school, they had spent all their days together.

As Severus watched Lucius, he noted the neutral expression that was so much different to the guarded dislike that Severus had most often been met with in later years. Lucius was the Kin that never was; Valarius had chosen his brother over Lucius. Lucius had been expecting it to be him, along with everybody else and instead, watched his relationship with his friend crumble as the power of the Kin Bond placed Severus at the centre of Valarius's world. Lucius had continued to play the role of a friend, but behind it was a resentment that had never faded.

"Lucius." Severus spoke, almost in a whisper, approaching the gate so that he was as near to Lucius as he dared. Severus tilted his head to the side, making the felt antlers flop over a little; they were nearly a foot tall and softly filled with padding between two layers of red felt. "Lucius." He spoke again, louder this time.

Lucius didn't respond, he continued to look past Severus as he stepped forward and placed a hand on the gate. A puzzled look then crossed the Death Eater's face; he shrugged his shoulders, looked down the road, turned and walked away.

Severus let out a breath that he hadn't even known he had been holding. He found that he was shaking a little; it couldn't have been more of a shock. To be separated from the wizard world for five months and then to just turn around and find himself face to face with Lucius. The ward had held and showed itself to be more effective than either he or Harry could have hoped for; Severus now knew that they were safe.

Severus turned to walk to the house, he couldn't finish the shovelling now, he was too stunned and he had to talk to Harry as soon as he could. He went into the house through the front door and shook the snow from his boots, leaving the shovel up against the wall.

Severus entered the warmth of the kitchen to find Harry, but also those that he had forgotten would be there. In the armchair by the fire sat Will and at the table Judith was busy knitting a small pink thing that didn't look like anything he could recognise.

Severus caught Harry's eye and Harry stared back at him, looking thoroughly horrified. Judith looked up too and immediately burst out laughing.

Harry sat by the fire watching Severus make them a drink. It was time for bed and Severus had the blanket round his waist. Harry contemplated attacking him and removing it again, although he didn't want to get too predictable with his affections.

"We need to look at that vision with the swords." Severus began. "Then there's something I have to tell you."

Harry sighed in resignation as his, as yet unrefined, plans were thwarted. He took his drink off Severus and snuggled into bed. Harry lay on his side watching and Severus took the swords and his drink, pulled off the blanket and climbed into bed, all with Harry's eyes on him.

Harry took hold of his sword once he had placed his drink down on the hearth.

"Are you all right?" Severus asked having noticed for most of the evening that Harry had been a bit more subdued.

"Yes." Harry replied trying to brighten up. "I am just feeling a bit bad about what I have brought you to. Whatever happened before, you always had your dignity."

"Is that what you think?" Severus asked, touched and amused by Harry's concern. "Albus's slave for all that time? An appearance of dignity was pretty much all I had."

"I didn't mean to turn you into a house elf and have all those Muggles laughing at you." Harry continued.

"Doesn't matter." Severus replied stroking a hand down Harry's face. "I will do whatever it takes, because at the end of this you are going to get your strength back and we are going to curse every single Death Eater till they are no longer a threat. Now let's see what we can make of this vision."

Severus set his drink down too and took hold of his sword. Harry began to connect with him and he closed his eyes to help focus on the images and sounds.

"It was Albus." Severus announced as Harry and Severus let the connection fade. "There were certain mannerisms that were subtle, but they were his."

"That's funny in a way, getting sent in to look for your own Talisman." Harry commented.

"Not when we know he had to return without it." Severus added grimly.

"No, not funny at all really." Harry agreed sobering considerably. "So what was this thing you wanted to tell me?"

"There's a protection around this house." Severus began.

"You said you were going to place one."

"There was one already there, a really good one as it turns out. While I was outside clearing the path, Lucius Malfoy came to the gate." Severus said opting to just say it, not knowing how to do things gently.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked.

Severus waited while the information sank in.

"Lucius Malfoy?" Harry asked again.

Severus nodded. "He didn't see me, he looked right through me. He should have seen me but he didn't. It runs across the gate and through the hedge. Malfoy just looked a bit confused after a while and walked away."

"Bloody hell, and he might have seen you in that hat too. So all they said about this place being safe was true." Harry said still looking stunned. Harry returned to the vision. "But with Albus acting as a Death Eater, why would he allow us to be found? And as a Death Eater, he would be required to make some kills himself, not like when you were spying and they were relatively inactive. Then there's his magical signature and the wand he's using, which can't be yours."

"He hasn't, he didn't maintain the deception beyond the attack on the castle." Severus added grimly. "Snape family tradition states that a body must be cremated within forty-eight hours. Albus can make a Polyjuice potion that will last that long. He had all my potion supplies, and he also had the batch of 'Blissful Death'. If you look back at the vision, he's holding a phial of it in his hand. That's something that bears my signature both in the making and literally, written on the label in my hand."

"Oh Sev." Harry said bleakly not knowing what else he could say to that, Severus accepted his Kin into his arms.

"Get your strength back, then we'll start to train again. We will defeat them." Severus said trying to encourage Harry.

Severus lay quietly stroking Harry's back for a while as he lay pressed against his chest. Harry lay still; content to take the comfort from his Kin.

After a while Harry began to feel a bit calmer, not so upset but he still wanted the comfort from his Kin. It was as if they had to deal with the experience of Albus's death not once, but over and over as the visions hinted at what had happened to him. Then there was Lucius, evidence enough that they had not been safe outside. The darkness had come just a bit closer that night and he wanted to chase it away. He lifted his head up from Severus' chest and found his Kin awake and looking over him.

Harry placed a hand to Severus' cheek and let their lips gently brush together, trying to judge whether Sev needed the comfort also. Severus responded and Harry turned it into a proper kiss and reached down with his hand over Severus' chest feeling his curves.

Harry broke off from the kiss momentarily. "Lie still." He instructed. "I intend to worship you."

Severus smiled a little at Harry's turn of phrase but wasn't about to move for anything.

"Let's hope I don't get another vision." Harry added reaching lower, stroking over his abdomen. "My grip can get a little tight." He whispered in Severus' ear, reaching down and taking in hand the main object of his worship.

Severus swallowed nervously and excitedly, and then accepted another kiss.

Harry pulled away from Severus and leant down to suck on his neck a little. He could feel Severus was enjoying it.

"I am the power that creeps through your veins, I can bewitch your mind, ensnare your senses." Harry whispered in Severus' ear.

Severus shivered at the sound of Harry's voice but the choice of words was not lost on him, he smiled a little. "That's the same bloody speech I use every year, sort of." Severus whispered back. "I can only wonder at you remembering it."

"You never forget your worst nightmares." Harry whispered back, stroking a little more firmly. "Although if I remember correctly, you were talking about potions and not me."

"Just as well I gave up teaching, I would never be able to say it again."

"Without thinking about me doing this." Harry said suddenly ducking his head into the sleeping bag.

"Yes, quite." Severus hissed as he felt the warmth of Harry's breath on his thigh.

Severus placed a hand on Harry's head and Harry tensed. "I told you not to move." Harry commanded.

Severus moved his hand away and Harry continued, not needing any direction anyway. He had done this before, though he had never been glad of the memory of being forced to do such things, he was glad of it now. The freedom to do it, without fear of recrimination for his ineptness, made it a whole lot easier and infinitely more enjoyable for Harry. It also helped that he didn't have to hold up layers of flabby belly just to get near his target too.

"Hey Sev." Harry called from beneath the covers.

"Yes?"

"Do you remember the last time you ate a banana?"

"Vaguely."

"I can do that too." Harry stated, and then demonstrated to make sure that Severus understood his talent. "More?"

"Yes!" Severus whispered his voice almost a hiss.

The following morning Will went out to Fort William on his own and returned just before lunch in the foulest mood Harry and Severus had seen him in. He had so far been very good-natured but he burst through the kitchen door, almost in a rage.

"Stupid bloody people. How the hell do they suppose I can be responsible for a load of old people dying from the cold in the middle of the fucking winter?" Will stormed, taking off his coat and hurling it over the back of a chair.

"What happened?" Harry prompted gesturing to Severus to make a cup of tea.

"We keep ourselves to ourselves here, you know that." Will began, sitting down and calming slightly.

Harry nodded.

"I went into the supermarket and I heard these two old dears whispering, I mean, do they think I can't hear them twittering on?" Will continued. "Anyway, I approach the checkout, and there they are again. Whispering. 'The old man next down from 'that place' was found dead in his garden the day before', they say, 'the women from just up, has died too'. 'The woman from one of knitwear shops has had a heart attack. You were in her shop a few days ago', they say to me. Do they have nothing better to do, other than spy on people?"

"All of this happened yesterday though didn't it?" Harry pointed out.

"Well yes it did, but do you think that tiny detail matters to them? I get so sick of this bollocks." Will stormed on. "Yes, I don't dress like a middle aged farmer and yes I do indeed have long hair and maybe I am a bit different, big fucking deal."

Severus was obviously a bit confused, Harry noticed, he would explain the Muggle's attitudes to him later.

"We know it wasn't you." Harry said, unofficially in charge of muggle relations. Harry looked at Severus, they shared a 'look', which confirmed that they were in agreement, it was without a doubt Lucius Malfoy who was responsible. "Do they accuse you of things a lot? Is it just your dress?"

"Off and on, they mostly just sneer and whisper so I can't hear." Will explained accepting his mug of tea from Severus. "There have been a few times when strange things have happened and they attribute it to the 'hippy house'. You know, when I'm working on the Internet, running my business upstairs, or doing other things online, nobody knows what I look like, there are no preconceptions, no history. I am just what I say and I'm 'me'. It's a different world, something like freedom."

Harry felt a bit lost for words and Severus was clearly stunned by the outburst.

Will stood up and picked up his mug. "Look, you don't want to be bothered with my ranting. I'll go upstairs and have a little lie down."

Before Harry had a chance to protest, Will was gone.

"I think I know what he means." Harry said to Severus once they were alone again.

Severus raised a querying eyebrow.

"Being away from the wizarding world, being here. There are still things I need to do, but I can be me." Harry explained.

Will stormed across the hallway and up the stairs, but slowed as he reached the top. He felt like he would never escape. He should have sold the house and moved away years ago but he resented having to give up his home because of their ignorance.

Just because thoughts came into his head telling him a certain person was going to die, didn't make him responsible for it, it never had. Not even when he had been a child, and while out with his mother, had naively told people he had met in the street. His mother should have told him not to, but she hadn't. It had been another who had taught him that there were certain things you kept to yourself, another who had taught him a lot more besides.

He should have known better than to go into town, Will was more angry with himself, much more than with anybody else. He knew fine well what happened when things occurred in 'clumps' like this, cold weather or not. And he had dared to think that he was losing his touch after the trip to Fort William with Richard. Nothing he had sensed from the man that day made any sense, but then there was this. He had felt death in the air, counted them in his head. He had tried to lighten his mood by making Richard wear that damn hat, but he couldn't laugh at it in the end.

Will opened the door to his room and shut the door behind him. He lay on his bed knowing that he wouldn't sleep but at least he would have some quiet for a while.

Gaelic: Solas suarach cold comfort

A/N The summary was a bit misleading, hee hee.


	22. Winter's Guests

A/N : Next Chapter may be late because of you know what (xmas), it is a pivotal chapter, not fluff, so I want to do it right. This also means it should be a yummy length. Tiny hint below regarding the final battle, which should be only a few chapters off now. I'll be starting immediately on the sequel so don't go away once it's all over will you :). The name of the sequel and its ffnet story ID will be clearly stated at the bottom of the final chapter of this story for easy finding. 

Much thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Reviewers notes below chapter:) Thanks for reviewing all you guys. Most reviews ever for chapter 21, you're great! Hugs all round.

Chapter Summary: It's New Year's Eve and Harry has a resolution to make. Will celebrates Hogmanay and drags a reluctant Harry and Severus into his festivities.

Chapter Twenty Two - Winter's Guests 

New Year's Eve came more quickly than Harry could have imagined. He didn't dare beg to stay this time, the temperature outside was rising and he felt better than he had done since they left Hogwarts. He knew he was ready to begin training and he wanted to, he just didn't want to have to combine it with endless walking again. Plus there was the problem of Lucius Malfoy, wandering around hexing every muggle who stood still long enough, and the mystery of how he had managed to be standing outside the gate of their temporary home.

"Are you all right?" Severus asked as they both did the washing up following breakfast.

"Yes." Harry replied but didn't elaborate further.

"Really?" Severus persisted.

"Really." Harry replied a bit snappily, just wishing that Severus would leave him alone to be miserable if he wanted to be.

"I was hoping that Will would let us stay a bit longer." Severus said, determined to talk to Harry.

Harry looked up in surprise. "We can't stay!" He said.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Can we not?"

"No, we have to keep moving, how many times have you told me that?" Harry responded, feeling a bit puzzled by Severus' change in attitude.

"The ward that surrounds this house changes everything. I can't do any better than that. Somehow Lucius knew where to find us, he got as far as the gate." Severus explained.

Harry could hardly dare to believe it. "Do you think Will will let us stay?"

"He hasn't exactly been counting the days till our departure." Severus offered.

"Oh Sev, I would love to stay." Harry said giving Severus his first smile of the day.

"So there was something troubling you." Severus stated knowingly.

"I didn't want to make a fuss, what kind of saviour would I be turning out to be?" Harry said filling the kettle for another cup of tea.

"You'll be able to train better if you don't have to wear yourself out with walking first." Severus added.

"I think we are in agreement." Harry said wrapping his arms around his Kin.

"Better make a good job of dinner tonight then?"

"It'll be the best ever." Harry enthused squeezing Severus.

Since breakfast was over, Harry knew that there was housework to do, but he didn't want to do it just yet. Severus went to sit by the fire and all the other residents were doing other things elsewhere in the house.

Harry sat at the table fiddling with some wool and knitting needles that Judith had left him with. He wasn't doing very well and he thought that he would have loved to be able to knit some booties even if he couldn't manage anything more complex, or something even less ambitious, a scarf for his Kin, maybe.

Harry looked up at Severus as if he could hear him thinking, but he wasn't responding as if he could. He started to tell himself off for thinking about such things again, but then stopped. Harry looked at Severus and thought about what they meant to each other and about how the Kin was forever and suddenly he resented not being free to think about the sort of life they deserved together.

Harry wanted to live in a house with his Kin, his Sev. He wanted Severus to lie him down on a four-poster bed and make love to him properly. He wanted his dream to come true, and for there to be more than just the two of them.

None of this was possible with the Dark Lord still out there somewhere. Severus would never risk a pregnancy while Harry still had to fight, even if he could be persuaded to otherwise agree. Harry thought of the film they had recently seen, The Two Towers it had been called, in particular one of the scenes near the end. This was what HE was holding onto, his life with Sev, this would be what would drive him on. All these things that he wanted, he would get them, he would defeat the Dark Lord and go home. He wondered briefly if it would be there for him to go back to, but he pushed the thought away almost as it formed. He could not afford to think otherwise.

Harry would let Severus take him down to the dungeons and they would take it from there. And Sev would have his dignity too, properly, not all that stiff strutting about that had masqueraded as dignity and authority. He and Sev would kill the Dark Lord together, Harry thought, and he would never allow the credit for it to be attributed solely to himself. He would tell them that Sev had done it on his own if he had to.

"Sev, I would like to go out tonight." Harry announced. "After they all go to bed, I want to use my sword."

"It's New Year." Severus pointed out. "I believe it is likely that they won't go to bed till nearly light."

"Well, tomorrow then, can we?" Harry asked.

"Of course." Severus answered. "I am glad you want to."

"I want this to be over some day." Harry explained. "Whatever it takes, you are going to train me and I am going to do it, and we start tomorrow."

"But first we need to do the dusting and the vacuum cleaning," Severus pointed out.

"We?" Harry queried. "Does that mean you're going to help me?"

Severus glowered but Harry was completely immune now and Severus knew it. "Yes, all right." Severus said giving in.

Harry merely stood up and wrapped his arms round his Kin, ignoring his grumpiness completely as he gave him a big hug and kissed him on the cheek.

Severus had gone down to get them both a drink and Harry was using the vacuum cleaner on the upper landing when his scar suddenly started to itch again. Harry barely had time to lower himself to the floor before the pain hit.

Harry woke in a room lit by a single bedside lamp. He was lying in a bed and was covered by a thick duvet. A large, fluffy black cat wandered over the duvet and rubbed its head against Harry's arm, which lay on top of the covers. Harry hadn't noticed before that they had a cat; there were certainly no cat things stored in the kitchen, nor anywhere else that he had seen.

The cat was very friendly and continued to rub its head on Harry till he reached his other arm out to stroke it. The cat purred loudly and rolled onto its side, continuing to let Harry give it attention.

Harry suddenly had a strange thought, Severus wasn't in the room again, and it was getting to be a bit of a habit, which Harry didn't like. He would have to have words, he didn't like waking up feeling abandoned and deserted, or worse, betrayed. Harry looked at the cat, he had stopped stroking it and it had stood up again. The cat rubbed its head against Harry's chest, still purring, obviously wanting more attention.

"Well you're a nice kitty aren't you?" Harry said to the cat, scratching its head as it leaned into his touch, the idea Harry had been having still nagging his mind. "You're just like…Sev?"

Harry froze and looked more closely at the cat. Could it be Sev? Harry asked himself. Sev certainly hadn't said he could take on another form and Harry hoped that this would have been one of the things he would have shared with his Kin, if not officially with the rest of the wizarding world.

The door to the bedroom opened and Severus entered carrying a mug in his hand.

"Well she certainly seems to like you, she nearly had my hand off when I tried to get her off the bed." Severus said referring to the cat.

"I didn't know there a was a cat." Harry said feeling more than a little embarrassed for not realising that the cat was female.

"We have another guest for New Year, the cat belongs to her. She has to stay in here so she can't get outside."

Harry continued to stroke the cat, who didn't seem to want him to stop.

Severus came to sit on the side of the bed. "Are you all right, sick or anything?"

"No, I'm all right."

"If you wanted me to do all the housework for you, you could have just said so," Severus joked.

"Very funny."

Severus took a sip of tea. "You might find that they fuss you a bit tonight. I didn't get to you first."

"Wonderful." Harry said feeling like he might want to stay hidden in the bedroom for a good while yet. "Who found me?"

"It was Will, this is his bedroom." Severus explained.

"Doubly wonderful, I can't even escape hiding in here."

Severus noticed that Harry had been glancing at his cup of tea ever since he had entered with it. He handed the mug over to him to take a drink.

"Shall we return to our kitchen?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded, then pulled back the duvet and sat on the side of the bed. Severus came to stand beside him.

"It seems Will saw me scraping you up off the floor one morning. To maintain the excuse that I had to tell him, you'll have to let me help you down the stairs." Severus said.

Harry stood and placed an arm round Severus' waist. "How we get tangled in the web we weave." Harry said not even pretending to be upset about the deception they were about to perpetuate.

Harry and Severus found that their kitchen was unoccupied by anybody else and so attempted to get on with their day as normally as possible. There was, however, two bottles of sherry on the kitchen table and Will soon joined them so he could begin preparing for the New Year's Eve party. Christmas Day was starting to look like it had been a minor affair compared to what Will was proudly terming 'Hogmanay'.

The centre of the lounge was cleared and all the sofas lined the walls. Will was already playing the music loudly by the time it began to get dark. He had made sherry trifle and a large bowl of punch. Harry and Severus stayed to the kitchen as the singing began. Judith joined them for a while, stating that Will's insistence on playing loud ancient heavy rock music was bad enough, but the singing along and air guitar which accompanied it was unbearable. Harry thought it was strange that it was so bad, since when Will had his acoustic guitar and took some care, he could be very soothing.

They had already said that they wouldn't attend the party because of Harry being ill but as the music changed to a slow instrumental after dinner; Harry took Severus' hand and led him into the darkened hall.

"Dance with me?" Harry asked pressing himself up close to Severus.

Severus took Harry's hands. "This isn't a tango." He commented.

"Make it one," Harry replied in a seductive whisper that sent shivers down Severus' spine.

Severus began, the rhythm all in his head like they had done before. Harry let himself be led, his steps precisely in timing with Severus. He was feeling their bond, allowing all that surrounded them to drift away to insignificance, feeling only Severus. Not noticing the head peering from the lounge doorway into the hallway, watching them with curiosity.

Much later in the evening Harry was curled up in the armchair by the fire and almost dozing off to sleep when Will came bursting into the kitchen, obviously drunk.

"Come on you two, you must join us, it's nearly midnight!" Will slurred.

Harry looked at Severus with uncertainty, seeking his advice.

"Alex hasn't been well, I must be assured that you will be gentle with him," Severus replied stiffly from his seat at the table.

"Yes, yes." Will replied. "I'll be very gentle with him, though no doubt not as gentle as you are with him, ey?" Will giggled and wiggled his eyebrows.

Severus grimaced with distaste at the strong smell of spirit, which had accompanied Will's presence in the room. "Very well." Severus said standing up and going to Harry's side.

Harry stood too and took Severus' arm.

Severus and Harry followed Will into the lounge. The room was lit with multicoloured lights and almost everybody was clearly drunk and dancing to the loud music that almost shook the walls. Will immediately wandered off to join the dancers leaving Harry and Severus wondering why they were there. Judith joined them.

"There is some coke and some orange juice set aside." Judith said indicating a table in the far corner of the room, neglected by everyone else.

They were glad to retreat into the corner and Severus poured Harry a drink. He checked it for alcohol before giving it to Harry, since Judith was watching and Will seemed to have been in the mood to lace anything.

Soon the music choice mellowed and a slow love song was playing. Harry and Severus had moved into the room a little but it was too noisy to talk and they had just ended up standing watching virtually everybody else writhing around in an attempt to dance whilst incapable of adequate coordination.

Severus felt a hand on his arm, as Harry pressed himself up against his chest and laid his head on his shoulder.

"Not in public." Severus tried to insist easing Harry up.

Harry resisted and stayed close. "Like they care."

Severus gave in and wrapped his arms round Harry, they moved slowly to the music, allowing the power that passed between them as they touched, to once more make everything else cease to exist.

Suddenly the music had stopped and Will was shouting. "Attention! Attention!"

Harry looked up with a dreamy and contented expression, Will was looking directly at them and most of the others were following his lead. Harry hadn't felt so much attention since his days at school and he hadn't liked it much then either.

Harry found himself holding onto Severus nervously as Will raised his glass in one hand.

"I have an announcement to make." Will slurred. "I would like to ask our guests Richard and Alex, to join us on a more permanent basis in their current role of household duties. As long as they're willing that is. At least till the spring in any case."

Judith approached Will and placed a hand on his arm. Will flung his arm roughly around Judith's shoulders and leant on her.

"What do you say?" Will shouted and beside him Judith grimaced.

"We should be honoured." Severus said in his dependable stiff manner.

"Yey, for Richard and Alex!" Will called tipping his entire drink down his neck despite Judith's disapproving look.

"Someone better put the TV on." Judith said to Will with a voice that indicated that she had been reluctantly baby sitting Will all evening. "It's nearly New Year."

Will broke away from Judith and sang all the way to the TV. "It's nearly New Year! It's nearly New Year!"

The TV broadcast was coming live from Edinburgh's Prince's Street where Severus and Harry remembered enjoying a cup of tea a few months previously. Everybody seemed to calm down a bit and gathered around the screen as the last fifteen minutes of the year passed by.

At last, after a few minutes of listening to the mindless chatter of the TV presenters, the view on the TV changed to Big Ben in London and the bongs signalled the passing of the year. Fireworks began to explode on the screen and people began to cheer and jump up and down. Some of the guests of Sgoil Dhubh Lodge began to hug each other and wish each other 'Happy New Year', some more exuberantly than others.

Will stood up and stumblingly lurched at Harry, wrapping his arms around him and crushing him to his chest.

"Happy New Year!" Will shouted in Harry's ear as the panic began to wash over him. Panic like Harry hadn't experienced in months. Harry struggled against the hold and he couldn't get his breath, he hadn't been on his guard. He had got used to not having to take care not to be touched, since he had been alone with Sev and had managed to accept his touch very well indeed. Will's drunken hold was unintentionally tight and Harry tried to use all the strength he could muster to get free.

Suddenly Will let go and staggered away from Harry, a look of shock on his drunken face.

"Hundreds, I see hundreds. All, all… Drumossie. A star in the sky. The fourth shall march, no, march in the fourth." Will muttered almost incoherently.

Harry's efforts to get free had caused him to fall backwards as Will finally let go of him, but Severus was there. As Harry began to fall he felt strong arms wrap round him with reassuring comfort. Severus hugged Harry and made the same gesture regarding the passing of the year for show, but didn't let Harry go again, guarding him against further attention.

Will, still looking stunned, wandered off muttering more words that Severus didn't this time manage to catch. Although something seemed to have sobered him a little, he still staggered as he walked away.

"Bas aithghearr, moran craidh. The end of it all." Will slurred at Judith as he passed her.

"Being English, I can't even imagine what most of that means, but you are going to bed right now unless you go get a cup of coffee." Judith replied, sternly pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

Harry at last felt as if he could breath again as he stood resting against Severus.

"Are you all right now?" Severus asked.

"I had no idea, I have got so used to you." Harry began. "I didn't realise that I had only got used to you. Do you know, even Hermione and Ron can't hold me like you do."

"I should think not!" Severus said stiffly, although it was said in a joking manner Harry could tell that he was quite serious.

"Oh Sev, poor Ron." Harry said as he continued to lean against Severus with no plans to move. "Anyway, I didn't mean it like that. They couldn't really get close at all. Not like friends often do."

"Perhaps others had been touching rather too much." Severus commented softly, at last after all their months together he now approached the subject.

Although they were amongst others, their conversation was clearly remaining private due to the rowdiness and preoccupation of their companions.

Harry tensed. "How do you know that?" Harry asked.

"I guessed." Severus said not liking the lie as soon as he had spoken it. Whatever the consequences he could not deceive his Kin. He sighed. "No, I didn't, I'm sorry, I found your Pensieve one day." 'Still a lie' a partially unwelcome voice suddenly spoke in Severus' head.

Harry looked truly puzzled. "But I don't have a Pensieve."

"You do!" Severus insisted.

"I think I would know Sev." Harry said starting to become slightly irritated.

"You must have." Severus persisted to Harry's annoyance.

"The last time I used a Pensieve was back at school." Harry said thinking back. "But that was the last day and I only used it for half an hour or so while I went to see Dumbledore."

Severus paled. "I see. Then I suppose I ought to confess."

Harry gave Severus an amused but disapproving look. "You are a very bad man, you must have broken into the Gryffindor common room while we were all supposed to be at dinner."

"Well yes, but not for that, I saw you leave the hall and I wanted to talk to you. I just saw it sitting there and well… they kind of suck you in don't they."

Harry looked like he wasn't sure he believed Severus' innocent intentions at the time, but shrugged his shoulders with a smile. "I suppose that makes us even." He said. "Though I didn't see that much of yours did I?"

"You show me some more of yours and I'll show you the rest of mine." Severus replied calmly, despite his sudden inner turmoil at the mention of his memories and the unthinkable thought of having Harry see them, especially now that he was his Kin. Some secret memories weren't just kept that way for his own comfort.

"Perhaps not." Harry conceded, thinking that he would much rather Sev experienced his many talents first hand and without any violent follow up from his former relative. "Shall we just dance nice and slow instead?"

Severus took Harry in his arms again and kept him close as they swayed to the music. "I think I would have guessed even if I hadn't known. You were very nervous."

"I didn't want anybody knowing that." Harry said clinging to Severus tightly.

"It is no reflection on you." Severus said close to Harry's ear, just before taking a discrete nibble.

Harry followed Severus beyond the wards of the house, along the hedge and over to the incline of the nearest mountain. They kept on walking till they could no longer see the house but didn't go much further.

Harry saw Severus draw his sword and Harry drew his too. He immediately felt the power flowing through him. He took Severus' hand and held the sword before him ready to start.

"Can we fight with the swords?" Harry asked. "Like two blades meeting."

"Like in that film we watched?" Severus responded. "It will most likely be unnecessary for us to fight that way."

Harry let go of Severus' hand and swung his sword around like they had done in battle in the film. "I could be Aragorn you know."

Severus laughed. "More like Frodo, I think."

Harry swung his sword to point at Severus. "Make sure you have a good hold on your sword, I am very close to hexing you." Harry threatened.

"I'll sword fight with you." Severus offered suddenly. "It will help your coordination, if nothing else."

Harry continued to glare at Severus. "I WILL hex you."

"Good. That was the subject of one of our last lessons after all." Severus said bringing his sword back and taking a swing at Harry with the blade.

Harry hadn't been ready and the blade almost struck him across the chest, bouncing off the power, which repelled the attack on his body, solely because it had been made with the twin sword. "Hey! You're trying to kill me again." Harry said indignant.

Severus smiled and aimed another blow at Harry, which he managed to block with his own sword. "No muggle will be able to fight like we can, copying the film, even the actor's who created the film couldn't fight like we can. You know no harm will come to us, you can stab me if you like." Severus instructed as Harry came at him with his sword and Severus blocked with a clash of metal.

They continued to fight, clashing swords, Severus more in earnest with his blows. Suddenly Severus purposely failed to block an attack and let Harry's sword impact with his chest. The blow was repelled but Harry suddenly stopped.

Severus stepped forward and wrapped an arm round Harry. "There, that's a start." He said. "Do you wish to continue?"

Harry still stood looking stunned but smiled a little. "You made me hit you."

"Yes, I did. Shall we?" Severus prompted, standing in front of him and touching the tip of his sword to Harry's. "Fighting with the swords like this will help you develop some muscles on those scrawny arms of yours too, now I think on it," He added.

Harry altered the position of his sword so it threatened the integrity of Severus' neck. "I am not scrawny." He said trying to look fierce.

Severus could only laugh. "You are." He said taking a swing at Harry which Harry competently deflected.

"Lithe, may be the word you are looking for," Harry corrected Severus as they continued to exchange in swordplay, Harry becoming more and more confident and daring with each and every blow.

Coming in the next chapter - A jump to the end of March. Harry is stronger and keen to get back on the road with the improving weather. Somewhere in his heart he knows he is ready for battle and he has a plan.


	23. Until The Dancing Ends

Happy New Year everyone :) :) 

A/N : This isn't as long as I anticipated because it got too long, it is therefore two chapters, next to follow very soon. Three chapters to follow after this one, then I will begin the sequel. Yey, a change of scenery for the boys. The story is finished, I've just got to polish it up a little and get it betaed so keep an eye out over the coming weeks. Just one evil little cliffie to go, in the penultimate chapter, couldn't help myself. I'll post the conclusion to the cliffie two days later so that you don't suffer too much.

There won't be many cliffie opportunities in the sequel so I've got to get it out of my system in this one.

On my website, The Golden Dawn features Harry and Sev but it takes place long after the events of Dance In The Dark Of Night, it is a crossover with another fandom in which the umfamiliar characters take the lead and there are no spoilers for Tango in there. have a read if you are interested but it is not the sequel I have been mentioning in previous postings, Tango At The End Of Winter is the one to read for continuing Harry and Sev goodness.

Sequel Title: Tango At The End Of Winter, will post story ID number when I put the first chapter up.

Much thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Reviewers notes below chapter:)

Chapter Summary: We jump to the end of March. Harry has been enduring a long string of visions and intensive training sessions . Harry seeks comfort in Sev's arms and formulates a plan for the future.

Chapter Twenty Three - Until The Dancing Ends 

And a matter of moments until the dancing ends

Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear

Not a solitary thing would I fear

Except when this moment comes near the dancing's end

Sting – Until – Kate and Leopold Soundtrack

Harry swung the kitchen door open and entered the house, quickly followed by Severus who was only a few steps behind him. It had started to rain again but neither of them were bothered, they were still warm from their training despite the wind that March often brought with it.

Severus approached the stove as Harry threw himself into the armchair by the fire, his long damp hair lying straggly across his glowing face. Severus lit one of the burners and placed the kettle over the heat. He turned to observe Harry as his Kin began to remove his clothing, the light of the fire illuminating his face, although he already had enough colour from their recent exercise.

Harry hung his patchwork coat over the back of his chair to dry and then undid the buttons on his shirt. Soon he was sat in the chair with the firelight dancing over the curves of his bare chest.

Severus continued to watch Harry as he leant over to remove his boots, thinking of how the sword training had sculpted Harry's muscles. His arms were more chiselled; where his chest had been so thin, it now had curves and he had filled out a bit.

Severus didn't think Harry would ever be as tall as himself but he was certain that he had gained a little height, or maybe it was just that he didn't slouch like a teenager any more. The sword fighting and the dancing, along with the Kin Bond, had given them both a rather domineering grace, the change especially noticeable in Harry.

Once Harry had finished removing his boots he stood up and approached Severus. He had a gleam in his eye, which Severus had got used to the meaning of. As soon as Harry was close enough, Severus reached out and stroked the damp hair away from his Kin's face, knowing that it would be soon pressed up against his own.

Harry pressed himself up against Severus and Severus thought of how he was still wearing his own shirt. He should have been removing his own clothing instead of standing around watching Harry. Harry kissed Severus hungrily, long and hard, and then looked up at him disapprovingly as Harry began to loosen the buttons on Severus' shirt.

When the kettle boiled, Severus removed it from the heat and turned off the burner but he made no move to make a drink with the freshly boiled water. Recently he had begun to wonder why he continued to waste the gas every time they returned from their training, they never used the water till morning.

It had become something of a nightly challenge for Harry, to get as much 'togetherness' as they could manage before the vision kicked in. It was also something of an act of bravery for Severus, when it was his turn to be second.

This was not one of those nights, Severus discovered as Harry threw his shirt to the floor and immediately began to kiss his round muscled shoulder, making Harry's intention to worship Severus' body clear.

The sword fighting had helped to sculpt Severus' body too, years of teaching had made him slightly overweight and shapeless, the walking had taken him to the other side of his ideal size. Now he looked once again almost like he had done when he and his brother had been at the peak of their powers, a bit older but that could not be helped. Severus thought that Harry must like it, he didn't seem to be able to keep his hands off him and it couldn't all be attributed to a bit of magic and exercise.

Harry's hands were pulling at the fastening on Severus' leather pants as Harry's mouth searched out Severus' and took him into a long deep kiss. Harry fumbled with the stiff button for a while, but Severus knew better than to interrupt him when he was busy, even to help. Severus had given up wearing anything under the leather pants; it only seemed to irritate Harry when he was in a playful mood and running on a time limit.

Harry pulled Severus' pants down to his ankles and encountered the boots that he was still wearing. Harry sighed in frustration, grabbed hold of Severus and pushed him into the nearest chair. Severus could feel his irritation as Harry pulled on the laces of his boots and yanked them from his feet, roughly discarding them to the side. Soon the pants also lay to the side piled on top of the boots.

Severus let his arms flop over the side of the wooden chair as Harry pulled him down a little so he was slouched in it. He let his head fall back against the back of the chair and he closed his eyes. Severus felt Harry's hands on his knees, pulling his legs apart, he remained submissive, letting Harry do what he wanted with him.

Harry's lips were everywhere, and his hands were everywhere else.

Severus thought while he still could, thought as he often did, of Harry perhaps going a little further than he ever had. It wouldn't take much for him to lose himself and dare to have him like no other before him. It wasn't for Severus like it was for Harry; if Severus went too far with Harry they were taking risks. Severus had been made for his brother, he had been the only one who was compatible with him; it was all so useless if Harry didn't take pleasure from it. Week after week he waited for Harry to think of it, to make love to him in that way, he couldn't get up the courage to ask him, didn't know if Harry wanted to.

He had thought that it might be different being an elder Kin, well it was, but not like he had expected. It was as if he was an elder Kin whilst remaining a younger too. Severus had turned out greedy, he wanted it both ways, right now he wanted it like a younger Kin, he was feeling distinctly submissive and was quite pleased to see that Harry had developed a bit of dominance, something he himself had lacked whilst with his brother.

Later, Severus thought, he would want to possess Harry and would hold back as he knew he must. Severus wondered if it was how his brother had felt whilst all the time denying him because of their familial link, perhaps brothers should never be allowed to become Kin Bonded. Perhaps Valarius would have still been alive if they had never taken the Swords together, had never ended up pointlessly arguing because Severus had wanted a baby and Valarius couldn't give him one.

"Sev!" Harry called with concern in his voice.

Severus came out of his thoughts and realised things hadn't been going according to plan. He found moisture in his eyes and wiped it away but it was too late to hide it. Harry was still stroking him but was looking up with the same concern in his eyes that Severus had heard in his voice.

"Sorry." Severus began. "I just thought of my brother suddenly, I don't know why."

Harry seemed to accept the explanation. "Hmm," Harry replied ducking his head. "Maybe I should just get on with it."

Severus felt Harry's breath on his thigh and he tilted his head back again, determined not to think any more. He entwined his hand in Harry's hair, careful to keep it gentle and not pull. Harry came up for air and a kiss and Severus didn't let him return. With a hand to Harry's chin Severus kept him in the kiss, he reached down to Harry's leather pants.

"Slight change of plan." Severus announced as Harry continued to kneel at his feet, allowing him to undress him. The pants were a much more snug fit now, Severus noted as he pulled on the legs, Harry squirming on the floor like an upside down crab, trying to wriggle out of them.

Harry wasn't to be discouraged though, despite the fight with his clothing he came back to kneel in front of Severus just as keen as before. Severus stood up, his hands on Harry, encouraging him to do so too. Severus led Harry over to the bed and lay down in what he hoped was a submissive, 'come get me' manner.

Harry knelt down beside the bed and began to kiss Severus all over his chest, his hands stroking all the curves he could find. Severus relaxed with the attention and let his knees rest slightly apart hoping it looked like an invitation. Soon he could feel Harry's hand there, stroking the inside of one thigh and then the other. Severus pretended that Harry was pushing him with every caress.

Harry came to kneel between Severus' legs and leant over him for a kiss. Their bodies pressed together, they were almost the same length when Harry stretched out a little, as he was doing now. Harry moved against Severus slowly and he could only think of one thing that would have been better.

Severus placed both hands on Harry, just a slight push downwards from his current position, might be enough of a hint for Harry to take it further, but something stayed Severus' hand.

The sensations were flooding Severus' brain now anyway and Harry would do whatever he was ready to do, he had so far been the primary initiator. There wasn't going to be long to go now, Harry appeared to be able to make what should be a poor substitute seem like heaven in itself. Severus grabbed Harry tightly as the waves washed over them both, Harry for once too taken over to mind the harsh but temporary restraint.

Harry lay sleeping at Severus' side, an arm rested protectively over Severus' chest. Severus lay awake and watched his Kin sleeping peacefully following their exertions, the night vision free for once, it didn't happen often. Harry had not replaced any clothing before he fell asleep and Severus was free to explore the body of the young man who had chosen to be Bonded to him.

Harry was sleek like a panther now. When they had set out on their journey he had still been a boy, now he was truly a man. Harry was ready now to face what must be faced, Severus wondered if Harry knew it yet. Severus placed an arm over his Kin and tried to sleep too. Harry would know when he was ready to move.

Harry sat by the fire, toasting the slices of bread one by one on the end of a fork. It was breakfast time and Severus was already busy frying the bacon and the smell had filled the kitchen making Harry feel very hungry.

Harry felt restless now, he had felt it for a while now, he wanted it to be over. He had waited and trained and fought with Severus till he thought he could defeat anything. The weather was improving with every passing week, it was now warmer outside than it had been before they had joined the sleeping bags together, and Harry was confident that they could survive the trip.

Harry knew where he wanted to go and he knew what he wanted to do. He had to wait for the Dark Lord to come to him, he understood that well enough, though as far as he knew there was no rule that forbade him from giving the Dark Lord a few clues, so that he would know where to come to should Harry decide the time was right.

Harry looked to Severus, wondering if he could sense his mood. Harry hoped that Severus wouldn't mind but he knew that this was his prophecy, his war to fight. No matter how much of a Kin Severus was, nothing could get round the fact that he was the one, always had been. In the end the decision was his. He hoped that Severus would notice and recognise what he was doing without a fuss.

Harry knew that he must speak to Will and without too much delay lest he lose his nerve. He was frightened to face the Dark Lord, but he also knew that he would get no better opportunity and nothing good could become of his life till the Dark Lord was gone.

Most of all, he was scared of losing Sev, in losing Sev he would lose himself. A long while ago he had wondered why Severus had had such a death wish following the death of his first Kin, now, knowing how he himself felt, he could only wonder how Severus had survived at all.

"Sev?" Harry began suddenly.

Severus turned from what he was doing and smiled slightly at Harry, showing that he was listening.

"Do you want to live?" Harry asked, thinking immediately afterwards that he probably hadn't phrased it very well.

Severus frowned in thought. "Yes." He replied, then smiled as if the answer surprised even himself.

"Good."

"Losing my first Kin feels like." Severus shrugged. "Like normal grief now, I think."

"When we eventually face the Dark Lord." Harry continued. "You can't make any heroic sacrifices."

Severus looked shocked to hear what Harry was thinking about. "No! If I sever the Bond, you will be drained of the Kin power immediately. There will be no such thing as a heroic sacrifice." Severus reassured Harry, turning away from the breakfast cooking after turning the heat off. "I can't take myself from you, whatever the circumstance."

Harry stood up to meet Severus and Severus wrapped his arms tightly around his Kin.

"The weather is better now." Harry spoke softly.

Severus lay his head on Harry's shoulder, keeping his arms tightly wound around him, feeling pleased and desperately worried at the same time. He smiled a grim smile as he continued to hold Harry close to him. He now knew a little of what Harry intended to do.

Will came into the kitchen to take his breakfast at the big table. Most of the other residents had either already eaten or had taken their food elsewhere in the house. Will sat and Severus handed him his plate and a hot mug of coffee.

Harry was sat by the fire, slouching like he used to do, to hide the physical evidence of all their training from Will.

"The weather is much better now, I think we should be getting on our travels soon." Harry announced before he lost the nerve to make the move out into the open world where they knew that Lucius could probably trace them.

Will did not look surprised. "Where will you go?" He asked looking up from his food.

"Stirling." Harry answered with resolve, knowing that it would be something of a revelation to Severus also.

"I can take you in the Land Rover to Stirling, I wouldn't mind a visit myself." Will offered.

Severus had withdrawn another supply of cash on his last trip into Fort William and if that was how Lucius was tracking Harry then he would be in the vicinity once more, Severus waited for Harry to accept the offer, hoping that he would.

"That would be very kind of you, thank you." Harry accepted graciously.

"When would you like to go?" Will asked.

"Perhaps it would be best to leave before we realise how comfortable it has been here." Harry answered.

Will smiled. "You must come back sometime, the door will always be open here."

"We will." Harry enthused. "If we can, we certainly will." He had to believe that there was the possibility of returning to a number of places where he had been happy before.

Harry and Severus returned from what was to be their last training session in the area surrounding the Lodge. Severus left the kettle where it was and let Harry approach him. Things were different; the atmosphere that lay between the two Kin was different. They both knew what they were heading for but neither wanted to talk about it. Harry reached a hand up to Severus' cheek in invitation.

Severus was expecting a deeply passionate kiss to follow but Harry pressed his head against his chest and breathed in sharply. Severus recognised the difference between Harry wanting comfort and Harry needing help. He wrapped his arms round his Kin being sure to support him under his arms.

"Think this is a bad one, don't think he's very happy with me." Harry managed to say as the pain throbbed in his head.

Severus helped Harry stagger to their place by the fire and managed to lower them both onto the mattress. Severus cradled Harry in his arms as he had done countless times, stroking his back gently in small circles as Harry's face contorted in pain. The pain went on for much longer than usual, Harry maintaining consciousness for the duration of it.

"He might try something, make sure he can't get me." Harry pleaded with Severus.

Severus continued to hold Harry tightly. "We were leaving tomorrow."

"It will be all right. Will is driving us to Stirling, I only have to get into his Land Rover."

Severus pressed his hands into Harry's back and began, Harry looked up at Severus as he did so; his eyes open only between waves of pain. Severus would have kissed Harry on the forehead but until the vision started it would only cause him more pain.

Eventually the pain faded away and Harry's eyes, as he looked up at Severus still, began to look distant and unfocused. Severus gently rocked Harry in his arms as he lost consciousness and spoke reassurances as the muscle spasms began in his upper limbs and neck.

When the vision was over and Harry appeared to be sleeping Severus pulled him up to lay by his side and made sure they were both covered by the sleeping bag. Harry was lying on his front but he was facing Severus and he wrapped an arm round his Kin so that he would feel protected and safe should he wake first. Severus allowed his eyes to close and he was so exhausted that sleep came more quickly than he could have imagined it would.

Severus woke suddenly feeling something at his neck, wetness all over his chest, and long inky hair in his face.

"Harry?" Severus said as Harry continued to suck and kiss his neck.

Harry's hand came up into Severus hair and stroked through it, the other hand reached down below. Severus would normally have been pleased to go along with the attention he was receiving but Harry was worrying him, he knew why there was wetness and Harry's breathing wasn't normal.

"Harry!" Severus said again, taking hold of the hand Harry had underneath the sleeping bag.

Harry froze and then reluctantly pulled himself up to face Severus, he looked wretched, the tears still on his face and in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Severus wrapped his arms round his Kin. "I don't want you to be sorry."

"I just… I just wanted…" Harry stuttered.

"I know what you wanted." Severus replied pulling Harry down onto his chest and stroking his back. "Just give me the chance to be there too."

"I'm so sorry." Harry sobbed, lifting his head from Severus' chest.

"Shh." Severus replied dipping down for a kiss, nipping his bottom lip a little, keeping it gentle and lengthy.

Severus explored Harry's mouth and he melted into attention readily, letting Severus kiss where he liked, kissing back where required, melting into the sensations in the knowledge that they had more limits than usual because of the vision.

Severus continued stroking Harry's back, kissing him and running his hands gently through his hair till at last his Kin calmed and lay still against his chest. Severus reached over for their swords; he could just get to them without disturbing Harry. He placed Harry's in his hand and held his own too.

They lay together sharing the vision and Severus was glad that Harry seemed to have come to a decision regarding the Dark Lord. Severus didn't think, emotionally, that Harry could withstand too many more of the visions. He really hoped that Harry intended to draw the Dark Lord into the open in some way and sometime very soon.

"I have made him very angry somehow." Harry spoke after the exchange of vision had completed. "That pleases me in a way."

Harry and Severus packed up their belongings and said a hopefully temporary goodbye to Sgoil Dhubh Lodge. There was an atmosphere of nervous anticipation in the air as they both climbed into Will's beaten up old Land Rover and set off down the road and towards the town from which they had approached the house several months before.

The Land Rover bounced along the clear but damp road, Severus sat bravely in the front and Harry kept a hold on their rucksacks on the back seat, making sure they didn't get thrown about too much. Harry felt very sad to be leaving, they had been kindly treated and had made real friends, Judith had even packed them some food including a chocolate cake that she had made herself.

Harry really hoped that they would be in a position to return sometime soon. He wanted the day to come when they could arrive by portkey or some other wizard method, and enter the kitchen dressed in their wizard robes.

He wanted Will to have the opportunity to know the truth and still remain their friend; he deserved the honesty that they had been unable to give him. He deserved to have the credit for the part he had played in keeping them safe and he deserved to know once and for all that the strange deaths he had been suspected of causing had never been his fault at all.

Harry smiled a little to himself, he would avenge Alexian's death and he might well manage to get his hands on Malfoy too if he was very lucky.

Harry wondered if his father would have been proud of him. If he had managed to kill the Dark Lord already, he most certainly would have been and the time was fast approaching where that would be the case or he would be dead trying. But, Harry thought, watching his Kin in the front seat looking terrified by the ride, James Potter wouldn't be at all proud of his methods of getting there. Harry reached out a reassuring hand to Severus and squeezed his shoulder lightly then let it remain there. If his father's spirit were out there somewhere, watching him with Severus and watching him loving the man, then he would just have to deal with it.


	24. When There's Nowhere Else To Go

A/N : Eek, it's nearly 'the end', sort of. Two more chapters after this one, then the sequel. 

Much thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Reviewers notes below chapter:)

Chapter Summary: Severus and Harry set off on their adventures once more. This time the Dark Lord is raising the stakes. Harry practises his skills and gets a 'new' cloak.

Chapter Twenty Four - When There's Nowhere Else To Go 

By lunchtime Harry and Severus were standing on a busy street in Stirling watching Will drive away from them in the Land Rover. Severus put an arm round Harry, sensing his mood and feeling pretty much the same way himself.

They were on their own again and they knew that Lucius could find them if he was still looking. Severus had no doubt that he was and only hoped that he hadn't got any clues other than those resulting in perhaps a second pointless visit to Fort William. Severus would have paid wizard money to see what would happen to Lucius if he returned to the Dark Lord from yet another trip into Fort William, empty handed.

If Harry planned to make a move soon, it might all be over before they were in need of cash again, tracing the card was the most obvious lead Severus could think of, the appearance of Lucius and the pattern of his killings certainly seemed to suggest it.

Severus helped Harry to lift his rucksack onto his back and straightened the straps for him. Harry returned the favour then asked Severus to get their book out.

"Maybe we should find somewhere to sleep," Severus suggested.

Harry looked grim. "I think I need to walk for a while," He said. "If that's all right with you?"

"Yes, we can walk if you want to," Severus said standing beside his Kin and taking his hand.

Harry held the book up and began reading. "Now all roads were running together to the East to meet the coming war and the onset of the Shadow." Harry began at the beginning of the chapter they had reached.

Severus twisted his face a little at the seemingly doom laden words. "Are you sure you want to read the rest of that now?" Severus asked. Severus was worried for Harry's state of mind and he didn't think the direction that the book had taken could be helping at all.

"It's all right, Will told me the ending when he and Judith came home, and he was drunk after they had seen the third film in Glasgow," Harry told Severus. "It will be all right, you'll see."

"He did?" Severus replied.

"Actually he must have been very drunk, he thought it was very important to tell me that it would be all right, over and over, Judith couldn't get him to be quiet about it. It's only a book after all."

"So which direction do we head in?" Severus asked allowing Harry to take the lead.

"North," Harry replied.

"There we are, not East towards the Shadow then?"

"Well, sort of North East if we want to avoid the worst of the mountains. I think we should head for Perth," Harry added.

Severus looked up at the sky, which was dark with rain clouds to the East, he turned, it was dark in every direction.

"Which way?" Severus asked.

Harry pointed to a turning further down the road. "Left," He said. "We need to turn to the left."

Harry lifted his book and resumed his reading and Severus walked beside him, letting Harry choose the way and ignoring the stares of the Muggles who followed them with their eyes. It wasn't long before they were on open road with the mountains and valleys before them once more.

Over the next few days Harry and Severus made steady progress northwards. Harry continued to lead the way, avoiding large towns and skirting round the mountains so they had no raise in altitude to tackle. Harry refused to take a bus and there were no trains to be had as they went round the places where the stations were. Although Severus was getting the impression that Harry was avoiding trains too, and he had intentionally kept away from the towns so that they couldn't tempt him with their speed and comfort. On days when they would usually have rested he chose to do less miles per day till they were ready again to do more. Harry's choices might have seemed strange if it wasn't for the fact that Severus had some idea that Harry was working to a plan.

Severus could see that Harry was becoming progressively more tired as the days passed, the visions continued to occur every night. Harry still refused to stop altogether. Suspecting that Harry might soon need all the strength he could gather, Severus tried to provide them both with as much food as they could eat whilst still erring on the right side of economy. As, although they might be able to settle somewhere if they defeated the Dark Lord, it would still take time to find a source of income.

By the middle of the second week in April they were barely thirty miles from Inverness, Severus recognised the names of the towns from the road signs, Harry had taken charge of the relevant maps.

Severus sat making their breakfast as he had resumed his former duties in that respect since they had left Stirling. Harry shuffled out of the tent looking particularly exhausted after a virtually sleepless night. There had been a bad vision during the night but not quite bad enough to require restraint.

Harry was fully mobile but emotionally drained, as he always was when the death of children was involved. That had been the only detail that Severus had managed to get from Harry before he clung to him with such desperation that he hadn't had the heart to try and get any more out of him. They would share with the swords later, but Harry was insisting that they walk first.

Severus continued to stir the porridge; he knew that Harry didn't want to be fussed. Harry slumped down at Severus' side and leant against him and Severus swapped hands with the spoon he was using to stir and wrapped his arm round Harry to hold him close. Harry didn't say anything but remained snuggled up against Severus. He accepted his porridge when it was offered to him and ate quickly. After they had finished eating Harry began to put their things away.

"What do you want to do today?" Severus asked.

"Carry on walking," Harry replied simply. "Ten miles at least."

"We can rest a day," Severus offered.

"We can't rest," Harry insisted.

When all their things were packed, they set off once again. As Harry and Severus reached the road and turned to walk along it, Severus took Harry's hand. When they had covered only a few yards of distance Severus looked up at Harry and noticed that he seemed unsteady and pale, he hoped that Harry could hold up long enough for what he had planned.

"We will rest today," Severus tried to insist.

"We can't stop," Harry replied snappily and pulled his hand away, fighting back emotion, "He wants me to stop." Harry gave Severus a pleading look and Severus realised that Harry needed him to be quiet so that he could hold himself together and get through the day.

Severus wasn't sure he wanted to know now what the Dark Lord had given to Harry in the vision but he was going to take some of the pain away as soon as he could.

They walked a short while longer till they came to a junction in the road. Harry suddenly stopped and leant against a signpost, he looked as if he was ready to crumple up in a heap on the ground. Severus came quickly to his side.

"Are you sure you're all right to walk?" Severus asked, his voice desperate with concern.

"Yes," Harry replied. "Give me a minute."

After all their time together, Severus could now tell when Harry was understating his troubles. "You will not shut me out, you will not bear this alone," Severus said to Harry in a firm voice.

"It is mine to bear." Harry snapped back.

"No, you are my Kin," Severus insisted. "It is ours, there is no 'you' or 'I'."

"Hold your sword," Harry commanded. "Inside your coat."

Severus quickly took out his sword and once it was at full size, allowed the serpents to wrap about his wrist, he then folded his coat over the top to keep it out of sight.

Harry did the same with his sword and slowly his face began to fill with colour as Severus felt their Bond through his sword.

They set off walking again, the unnatural seeming gleam in the two Kin's eyes going unnoticed by the Muggles who passed them in their cars.

"This isn't how they were meant to be used. You can't do this for long." Severus warned.

"I only need a few days," Harry stated, his first indication of his intentions towards a time scale.

Severus felt nervous anticipation well inside of him at Harry's words; it would not be long before things were decided, one way or another. Severus connected with Harry through his sword and tried to coax the vision from him. Harry blocked it, holding it to himself.

"It is ours." Severus spoke to Harry in a warning tone.

Harry then let him in and as they walked Harry shared his latest vision. When it was done Severus urged his Kin to stop for a moment and held him tightly, not knowing what else he could do.

"Thank you Harry," Severus said. "Always share it with me, no matter what. I can be there even if I can't change anything."

It seemed that no children had died this time after all, according to the vision anyway. It had been more personal to Harry than that; it was a message and a promise meant only for him. Severus understood Harry's urgency now and would do nothing to delay them further.

Only a couple of days later Severus and Harry found themselves arriving at Culloden Muir again, just to the south of Inverness. That day, when Severus had enquired of Harry whether they would be travelling on to Inverness in the morning he had received a noncommittal answer from him, a shrug of the shoulders and a 'maybe'.

Severus stood by the tourist information board at the side of the field by a fence, looking after their belongings as Harry searched for a place to pitch the tent. They had walked a long distance that day and the light was fading fast, it was nearly dark already despite the cloudless sky, they normally had the tent up before nightfall.

Something caught Severus' eye as he waited for Harry. It was the date of the battle that had taken place there, 16th April 1746. It had to be about the middle of April now, Severus thought as he read on. Indeed a fresh array of flowers had been left at the base of the information board in commemoration of the long ago battle.

Intrigued at the devotion of the people, to mark a war that no living person had seen, Severus continued to read, struggling to make out the words in the dim light. He got to the bit where it mentioned that the Scottish army had marched from Stirling immediately prior to facing the English. Looking again at the ground, Severus could easily imagine that the flowers were no more than a day old, if that.

Suddenly something made sense to Severus, he had a feeling that Harry had remembered from being here before and had returned intentionally. Though the flat land had been the Highlander's downfall, it would work well for them. All Severus needed to do was create enough of an illusion or some confusion to ensure that the Death Eaters became packed tight around them both, before the first strike was made. He had to make sure that the first strike was theirs to make.

With a flood of realisation, Severus turned in the direction of where he expected Harry to be and came face to face with Lucius Malfoy instead; he was standing barely six feet away. In the whistling wind Severus hadn't heard the familiar crack, which should have heralded Lucius's arrival in the vicinity when he apparated in.

"Severus." Lucius Malfoy began.

"Lucius." Severus responded.

Both men had allowed a well-practised mask to pass over their expressions, both hoping that they had masked their surprise in time.

A few minutes before, Harry's POV

Harry looked to where Severus was standing and smiled with a little sadness. He hoped that Severus knew what was happening, from the way he had been the last few days Harry thought that he must. Far too much of what Harry had insisted upon would have been questioned, if Severus hadn't understood.

Severus stood turned away from his Kin, patiently awaiting his return. Harry noted that he hadn't sat, or started trying to unpack anything. Harry's Kin stood with his sword arm buried beneath his coat, as he seemed to be reading the information board.

There was a chill in the air and the breeze coming in off the sea made Harry shiver as it blew upon his shirt-covered chest. Severus was always telling him to fasten at least one of his coats but Harry liked the cloak like qualities as he walked. Poor Sev, Harry thought, he always did his best to look after him.

Harry reached into the pocket in his coat and stood a while, feeling the wind on his face, pushing his hair back. With his other hand Harry reached up and tugged the bandana from his head and stuffed it into another pocket. Slowly Harry took his wand out from underneath his coat and held it pointing to the side of him. It felt strange in his hand after all the months when he had practised virtually no magic at all and the ones after, when he had used only the sword.

Harry took a deep breath and then lowered his wand so that it pointed to the ground. He began transfiguring blades of grass into anything and everything that took his fancy, all the while looking around him to see if any Death Eaters had picked up on the magical signature and decided to pay him a visit. If the Ministry of Magic could pick up on every spell bigger than a bit of wand light, then so could the Death Eaters.

Harry swapped hands with the wand and chose to keep his usual sword arm wrapped round the hilt of his sword. He kept on looking round, waiting, sure that they wouldn't be able to resist coming for him now. He looked towards Severus and was shocked to find that another man stood near his Kin.

"You idiot." Harry told himself as he pocketed his wand and made off across the grass as quickly as he could, his hand on his sword, holding it half drawn in anticipation of the other man not being a muggle.

Severus watched his Kin approaching as Lucius continued to stand staring at him as if he didn't know what to do next. Harry was moving towards them fast and Severus watched as Harry's coat billowed out behind him and he smiled to himself at the sight.

Lucius seemed to become aware that there was somebody behind him, either by the sense of Harry's presence or from the way Severus was looking beyond him towards Harry. Lucius turned to face the oncoming Kin.

Harry came to a stop at an ideal distance for using his sword.

"Harry Potter!" Lucius said not managing to stop a degree of surprise from reaching the tone of his voice. Despite the fact that he must have expected Harry to be there, if Severus' suspicions about what Harry had been doing to attract the Death Eater's attention were correct. Lucius must have been very surprised to see Harry, as he looked now, powerful and awesome, the gleam in his eyes making him seem very dangerous indeed.

"Not exactly, things have changed," Harry responded, managing to conjure menace into his voice despite the fact that this was his first real confrontation. With a flash of blade, Harry drew his sword and displayed it in front of himself.

Lucius gasped audibly and turned quickly to face Severus, who drew his own sword too, when he saw that Lucius was watching. Lucius watched unmoving as the serpents wound round Severus' wrist and glowed a bright and mesmerising crimson.

"I wouldn't turn your back on Harry if I were you," Severus warned, smiling wickedly, enjoying every moment since he knew that Lucius didn't stand a chance against his Kin.

Lucius turned towards Harry again and only had a second to observe the glowing crimson of Harry's sword, realising what it meant.

"You've seen these swords before, haven't you Lucius?" Harry asked, his sword now pointing directly at Lucius. "Rudan gun anam." He spoke the curse before Lucius could regain some sense and go for his wand.

Lucius stood frozen to the spot, still breathing, but unable to move. Harry came up close and raised one of Lucius's arms in the air. When Harry let go, it remained raised. "Hmm." Harry said smiling. "Poseable Lucius doll."

Harry reached out and removed the cloak from Lucius's shoulders and passed it to Severus, who stood patiently holding his sword and letting Harry take his first victim.

"Did you touch my Kin?" Harry asked Lucius in a confrontational and menacing manner, though nothing more than a whisper in the Death Eater's ear. Harry reached a hand up to Lucius's face and stroked him lightly, watching the fire in Severus' eyes as his Kin's jealousy rose, despite his best efforts to suppress it.

'Kill Lucius,' The voice of Alexian spoke inside Harry's head.

'Well hello Alexian,' Harry responded in his thoughts.

'Kill Lucius,' the voice spoke again.

'Doing it already,' Harry thought, trying not to allow the smile he felt, to reach his face.

'He hurt your Sev, deceiver, murderer,' Alexian spoke slowly, clearly, firmly and with anger. Harry could feel the anger welling inside of himself; Lucius had hurt his Sev, his Kin, he knew it to be true and he was going to kill him.

Harry leant into Lucius's ear again. "I am going to kill you," He whispered stroking Lucius's cheek all the while. "I know what you are, what you have done." Harry continued, hoping that Alexian would update him with specifics sometime very soon. The voice had gone off again, it seemed, as Alexian didn't speak to him again that night.

Harry raised his sword to Lucius again. "Moran craidh." He called, sending a curse which was powerful enough to disable a whole group of men, directly and exclusively into Lucius. The curse, which gave 'much pain', was undiluted by distance and Lucius couldn't scream or collapse or cry out in any way, as he was still held by Harry's previous efforts.

Severus raised an impatient eyebrow at Harry and Harry turned Lucius to face his Kin, Severus was right, this game was getting boring.

With Severus watching both Lucius and Harry, Harry taking a step behind away from Lucius, and Lucius watching Severus, Harry released Lucius from the curses. "Sgioblaich." and then followed that up quickly before the Death Eater had a chance to respond. Summoning all his anger and focusing on his curse, Harry pointed his sword at Lucius one last time. "Bas Aithghearr!" He spoke.

The strength of the curse coming from Harry's sword caused Lucius's body to shake, he slumped to the ground lifeless and dead and yet his whole body continued to convulse as if in a fit for minutes afterwards. Harry watched with fascination till the movement ceased and then plunged the blade of his sword into Lucius's seemingly lifeless body, twisting it around, before removing it and stabbing again.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

"Making sure, even a seasoned Death Eater can't play at being dead with their guts hanging out." Harry said plainly.

"I don't think that there was any doubt that he was dead, Harry." Severus pointed out, giving him a playfully disapproving look, though it was mixed with pride and a little bit of nervousness too.

Harry's eyes were burning with the power of the swords. "I know, I admit it, I just wanted to." Harry said grinning.

"Why am I holding his cloak?" Severus asked eventually, feeling a little scared by the look in Harry's eyes as he retained his hold on his sword long after Severus had put his own away.

"Trophy," Harry replied wiping his sword on the grass to remove the blood. "Didn't want it to get all messed up."

Harry took the cloak from Severus, wrapping it around his shoulders and giving Severus a twirl. "Doesn't it suit me?" Harry asked smiling broadly.

"Yes," Severus had to admit, actually feeling a bit stunned by Harry's appearance. "But that's hardly the point. Maybe you should put your sword away now, calm down a little, and then we can figure out our next move." Severus knelt down to search the dead body and came away with Lucius's wand. "This is what you should be taking." Severus reminded his Kin, he pocketed the wand next to his own.

"Please remember that it was your idea to turn us both into obsessive, possessive and passionate Kin, the whole thing, for me, fuelled by the raging hormones of a teenager who has only just become a man." Harry pointed out with a gleam in his eye. "You can't set me on fire and then complain that I burn," Harry added in a voice that was clearly seductive, pulling Severus into a passionate embrace. "Surely you remember what it was like."

Severus pulled himself reluctantly away after he had spent a few minutes willingly succumbing to Harry's will. He remembered very well what it had been like to be the younger and could relate, but they also had other things to deal with and he couldn't give in to Harry's passion yet. "Put the sword away." Severus insisted, still feeling the power coming off Harry in waves.

Harry made the sword let go of his hand and placed it in his coat pocket.

"Wow!" Harry said, calming considerably but still with a dangerous gleam in his eye.

"Wow, indeed," Severus replied raising an eyebrow at his Kin, now feeling as if he could find amusement in Harry's behaviour now that Harry was approaching his normal self.

"Why do I get so uncontrollably hot for you when I use the sword for any length of time? Especially, it would seem, when I kill." Harry asked. "Not that I'm complaining."

"I'm not complaining either by the way, you just make me a little nervous sometimes." Severus replied. "The swords feed off us and we feed off them while we hold them, the Bond is fired by feeling. The power seeks to maintain itself, the swords actively work to maintain the Bond, they have motive."

"That's a bit creepy really isn't it?" Harry commented.

"Well they are the heirloom of an ancient wizard family who were all Death Eaters, at least at times when it was possible to be one. The swords are, you might say, a Dark Art in themselves."

"Though it is the intentions of the Kin which make them Dark or Light." Harry added.

"But you can feel the power, anything with that much power is bound to corrupt, if allowed to. The love you feel, though it was there before you took the Bond, is now possessive, obsessive and exclusive, especially intense when you hold the sword."

"Where you like that with your brother?"

"Not quite, the nature of our Bond was somewhat different if you recall."

Harry smiled. "When I'm wearing that sword I could quite happily kill anybody who breathed on you. I hope I don't let it turn me evil."

"We both have a strong enough character not to allow it to corrupt us." Severus stated. "Although you did take an extraordinary amount of pleasure in killing Lucius, and he hasn't even done anything against me."

"That you know of." Harry responded.

"Yes?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know exactly what, I felt, sensed, that he had been responsible for something," Harry replied not telling Severus about the voice that had been instructing him.

Severus ruffled Harry's hair affectionately. "Your first kill, you did well."

"Well he's dead." Harry replied with a smile.

"Always a good test of your effectiveness and skill," Severus added. "Alhough, in the future, if we are confronted by more than one Death Eater, you might like to consider not playing with your prey for so long."

"If I have the time, I'll take my time." Harry smiled at Severus.

Severus merely raised an amused eyebrow in response.

"How long do we have, do you think?" Harry asked, knowing that sooner or later somebody would miss Lucius, even if he had been the only one who had sensed Harry's magical signature.

"An hour or so, more if we get going, difficult to travel any distance at this time of night." Severus answered.

"Can I have the bottle of coke while I think?" Harry asked.

Severus took the cloak from Harry's shoulders and put it with his own rucksack while he was kneeling down to get the coke anyway. He also removed the invisibility cloak and placed it over their things, in anticipation of what Harry's decision might be.

"Hey, do I get even more hot for you, if I kill lots of them?" Harry asked.

"Prolonged usage of the swords will make you quite exhausted." Severus replied with a stern face. "That may quell any excessive passion that you feel."

Harry responded by wrapping his arms round his Kin and squeezing him affectionately.

Will sat in the kitchen of his home, fiddling with the empty Horlick's sachet in his hand like he had been doing for the last half hour. He felt anxious and on edge, he had an idea why but he didn't want to think about that, his brain had other ideas, he couldn't stop thinking about it. It was April and Richard and Alex had left, leaving the house and especially the kitchen feeling very empty indeed. Yet that wasn't it, Will thought, he missed them but that wasn't the whole story. He took a sip from his mug, swallowing a mouthful of the sweet malted drink that was now starting to go cold.

They had left one sachet behind in the cupboard when they had left for Stirling. It wasn't in itself too weird, two youngish men drinking a bedtime drink that Will could only ever remember his grandmother drinking. But it was something that had stuck in Will's mind, as other strange things had come to his notice over the duration of Richard and Alex's stay. Not least were the readings he had intentionally done on Richard and accidentally on Alex, when he had been drunk over Hogmanay. He may have been drunk that night but he couldn't forget it. He might be losing his touch psychically, or he might not, but he couldn't wipe his thoughts of the men he thought were about to die.

Suddenly Will was on his feet, he couldn't just sit in his kitchen ignoring what he thought was about to happen. He had seen that it would happen in April, although he had left them in Stirling, he knew that they might be heading north to Drumossie. Will couldn't just do nothing, though he didn't know what he could do if he ever did meet up with Richard and Alex again. Will just knew that he had to get into his Land Rover and drive.

Now all roads were running together to the East to meet the coming war and the onset of the Shadow. (ch3, The Return Of The King, LOTR)

Gaelic - Rudan gun anam Still Life

Gaelic – Sgioblaich Clear away, remove.

Gaelic – Bas Aithghearr Sudden Death.


	25. Betrayed

A/N : Oh dear, I smell an evil cliffie. There won't be much opportunity for them in the sequel so I couldn't resist. Next posting in just a few days, so don't send the boys round to get me :) 

Many thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Reviewers notes below chapter:)

Chapter Summary: Harry comes to a decision whilst drinking a bottle of coke, but things are often not what they seem, especially when there's magic around.

Warning: Character death (1 count excluding nameless Death Eaters) and implied character death (1 count). Sequel (MPREG) WILL begin next week.

Chapter Twenty Five - Betrayed 

Will pulled his Land Rover out of the drive and headed north along the familiar route to Fort William, beginning his strange journey, it was already dark. The road was straight and long from Fort William to Inverness, first to Spean Bridge, then on to Fort Augustus driving alongside Loch Lochy, then alongside Loch Ness. There was only a small section to drive, where there was land on each side before Will would reach Inverness.

Something in his head was telling Will he should go, something else was saying that he should stay away. Logic told him that the whole idea was crazy, but he was doing it anyway. It was such a direct route from Fort William to Inverness; Will couldn't understand why Richard and Alex had wanted to go to Stirling first, if they had always planned to go to Culloden anyway. His brain fought on with what he knew, if there was to be any killing, no matter what the reason, they wouldn't be advertising their intended location to anybody.

Will couldn't imagine them doing it though. The house had allowed them to be there, they had cooked and cleaned for three whole months, all the time portraying themselves as a peaceful and loving couple. Even when he observed them late at night from the darkness of the garden and they had no reason to maintain any deception. Yes, there were things that were strange, but being strange did not make someone a killer, he should know. Maybe they were about to get mixed up in something they didn't expect; it seemed to Will that it was more likely.

Will suddenly thought about his long ago friend and the stories he used to tell of the world that lay hidden to those who didn't know to look. The tales about witches and wizards who lived in places you could enter only if you knew how. The wizards who wanted to live in peace, remaining beyond the sight of the rest of the world and of the wizards who wanted to take it all, believing that power should rule all, resenting the non magical for dominating the world. Might such a world, lead and enable two men to kill hundreds of others in a righteous fashion? Will shook his head as much as he could whilst driving, he was really losing it, they were just stories after all.

Will pushed a little on the accelerator, testing the limits of his nerves and the ancient vehicle under his control. There was no light but that coming from his headlamps along the whole stretch of road, which had remained the same width for countless years, since horses were the norm. Only the odd spot of light could be seen coming from far off, the windows of scattered houses, nothing to effectively illuminate his way. If he got there in time then he would know for sure, once and for all. It was the evening of the 16th April, the anniversary of the battle, which had made Drumossie and Culloden famous. If what he had seen was coming to pass, then he needed to get moving or he would miss it all.

Lucius, the Death Eater, second only to the Dark Lord himself, still lay dead at Harry and Severus' feet, though he had been skilfully concealed beneath a covering of magically created grass, which made him look like a natural, though small rise in the ground. Harry looked around, scanning their immediate area for any more Death Eaters. They both held their swords again, in case of sudden attack, Harry having calmed considerably from his recent actions, he was only just beginning to realise the enormity of what he had done. A line had been crossed that night and there was no going back.

"I killed him," Harry said without pleasure in his voice, now very much his normal self once again. "Oh Sev, I did it."

"We have to keep moving now, if we want to avoid them, they might well know where we are, all of them." Severus suggested, he was also scanning for trouble, trying to keep Harry's mind on the job. There might be plenty of time for remorse later when it was all over, there certainly wasn't any time yet. "We must go now."

Harry had already come to a grim decision, "No," he said. "We'll stay, I think it is time, I am tired of running Sev."

Severus regarded Harry with a look of fear, now that he saw that the moment had come, he knew that Harry had planned it all along. Maybe he had hoped for more Death Eaters than Lucius, when he had set off to use his wand, in order to summon them to his signature.

"Don't you think we've had enough? Shouldn't we just face it now? I'm weary of this, I just want to go home," Harry said with sadness.

Severus refrained from reminding Harry that they didn't have a home, he couldn't do that to him now. Harry meant it, really meant it. Harry had stood calmly drinking a bottle of Muggle coke and he had come to his decision.

"If you're sure," Severus responded.

"We're ready, ready as we can be, the bond is strong, I am strong. I can't bear to continue without doing it. I need to do this now, Sev, before I lose my nerve."

Severus took a deep breath, the killing had shaken Harry more than he had realised, he should have known. He should have remembered how he himself had felt all those years ago after making his first kill. He also remembered how his brother had got him to kill again so soon after, a cruel trick to fire his anger, but necessary to make sure that he didn't disappoint the Dark Lord. On this occasion Severus had to make sure that the Dark Lord was very disappointed.

"If you're sure," Severus began, "I can send a signal spell that will get their attention, I will use my wand so that it will carry my unique signature, just like your spell tonight was distinctive enough to summon Lucius. Although they might now come anyway once they discover that Lucius isn't going to return, I'm sure they'll be far too curious after I have been gone for so long, to stay away. It's a signal meant to summon every able Death Eater in times of extreme need. Even if they accept that I am still loyal, we should get a good army to fight and probably the Dark Lord himself too. Even if the Dark Lord doesn't initially come, he certainly will, once he realises you are here too and his followers are dying in great numbers."

"Especially since you're supposed to be dead. We can summon the others now, it's time to summon the Order," Harry instructed remembering the help they were supposed to get.

"Yes, I'll do it," Severus offered.

Severus performed the necessaries to bring the rest of the Order to their aid and then they waited. Not a thing broke the silence on the muir but the whistling of the wind. They waited some more.

"How long was it supposed to take?" Harry asked.

"It was for emergencies, they were supposed to apparate to our exact location."

"Try it again," Harry insisted.

Severus complied and then they waited some more.

"They're not coming are they Sev?" Harry asked with sadness in his voice, "There's nobody left to send."

Severus didn't want to reply but he feared that Harry was right.

"It was always destined to be me, at least we have the Bichun Kin Bond," Harry added.

"I'll cast non-deadly, you strike to kill; we have to make sure we don't upset any prophecies don't we?" Severus suggested, resigning himself to what was now imminent and unavoidable, steeling himself for what he must now do.

Harry nodded, "Send the beacon."

Severus took out his normal wand and put away the sword, Harry put his sword away too.

"Appear unarmed, you will know when to draw your sword," Severus advised. "Things will get a little rough but trust in the Kin, whatever happens."

"Yes," Harry said looking into Severus' eyes.

"WHATEVER HAPPENS, now are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes, just do it. Bring them on," Harry said leaning in for a final kiss.

Severus waved his wand once and a yellow star sprang from it and leapt into the sky.

"Ooh pretty," Harry said watching the light arc upwards high above them both, and then fall to the ground. As it happened, a strange calm swept over Harry, everything that had ever been his life culminated in this point.

"They're coming now, I can hear them," Severus whispered with an edge to his voice that Harry couldn't make out. "One more minute."

Harry tried to listen out for the Dark Lord and his followers but he couldn't hear anything, he assumed that Severus must have more of a sense for it than he did. He stared out across the land, trying to catch sight of anything that might be approaching them.

Severus suddenly pushed Harry hard with both arms outstretched and impacted with his chest strongly enough to wind him and make him stagger back, he only just managed to stay standing.

Severus rushed forward. "You stupid, gullible, little fool. Harry Potter is 'ready' is he? Well he isn't ready for this!" Severus spat in his face with venom. He raised an arm, swung back and hit Harry with the back of his hand, using enough force to send him flying to the ground. Pressing the advantage, Severus fell to the ground beside him, straddled him with his legs and pinned Harry down.

Harry was on the ground and trapped before he could process what was happening, he didn't have a chance to go for his wand or strike back in any way. Harry could feel the panic rising in him, he couldn't move, one arm was pinned beneath Severus' leg and the other was held in a painful grip, he tried to struggle. Severus' face was one of pure hatred and power, it reminded him of his Uncle Dursley. This isn't real, he told himself over and over.

"They're coming for you. You had your chance to kill me and you didn't, did you. I even bloody asked you to! Silly little boy!" Severus said in a cold, icy voice.

Harry kept on struggling but he could hear them now, hundreds of Death Eaters marching and somewhere in amongst them presumably the Dark Lord himself. They must have apparated onto the muir a distance away and now they were coming for him.

"Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater," Severus sneered. "You know I possess the skill and ability to make you do or believe anything that I wish, a potion for every occasion, all in highly concentrated form. You've allowed me to prepare your meals, you would think that you of all people would have learnt to be more cautious."

Harry felt tears come to his eyes, he still couldn't move. This isn't real, it isn't, Harry repeated to himself in his head. Severus was hurting him but he had to remember the power of the Kin. But the Kin was supposed to mean that Sev wasn't able to hurt him, Harry thought as his heart began to crush. Was that only with the sword on his arm? Severus had told him to put it away. Severus was being worse than Snape had ever been.

"No!" Harry screamed at Severus, putting all the strength he had into trying to get free, he couldn't, Severus continued to hold him in a vice like grip. Harry kept on struggling, trying to break Severus' hold on him but it was no good, the older man had the physical advantage, there was no hope if Harry couldn't get to his wand.

"Greetings Severus," The Dark Lord said as he came to stand in front of them. If he was surprised to see that Severus was alive, he was hiding it very well. Harry could only think that maybe he wasn't that surprised at all. The Death Eaters formed an impenetrable wall around them.

"I've brought you a present," Severus said gripping Harry by the hair as he now struggled to hold him down. "He's a spirited little vixen."

Severus let go of Harry's arms and raised himself up; he pulled Harry to his feet by his hair. As soon as they were standing Severus grabbed Harry's sword arm and twisted it roughly round his back. A pain shot through his arm from where it had been broken before, broken in memorable and partially similar circumstances by his loving Uncle Dursley. Then he had been used for pleasure, now he was a present for the Dark Lord.

"Does little Harry Potter have a surprise up his sleeve or is he going to continue to struggle pathetically?" The Dark Lord asked in a sing-song voice.

Snape smirked with menace, "He has nothing, I merely had to jump on him before he could pull out his wand."

"Right, kill him," The Dark Lord barked.

"Don't you want to play with him a little first?" Severus asked, his breath hot in Harry's ear, "After I spent the better part of a year keeping him away, making sure he would be little trouble."

The Dark Lord considered this, "Yes that seems like a very good idea, it would be a shame to rush this pleasure after so long."

"That was what I was thinking, my Lord," Severus added.

"I have a better idea," The Dark Lord began. "Why don't you take your revenge, Severus? He is James Potter's son after all. You have him in your control; you have the audience, do to the son what he and his friends did to you. Take him."

Severus' hand slid from Harry's hair to wrap round his throat, pressing firmly so that his breathing was severely impaired. Harry's mind was racing; it was obviously a challenge for Severus to show his loyalty but all he had seen in Severus' Pensieve was his father and his friends pushing Severus around, hexing him a few times. That was supposed to be Snape's worst memory but Harry had been pulled out of the Pensieve before it had reached a conclusion and Severus had been very, very angry to find that he knew even part of it. It was obvious that there must have been more.

Severus had told Harry that it hadn't begun or ended there. 'Well, he was either going to get beaten up or…' Harry thought 'or…oh shit, surely they didn't mean to…' Cold dread settled in Harry's stomach as he realised what he was about to discover. He was about to find out precisely what had made Severus hate his father so much that he couldn't for the better part of seven years tolerate the son either.

Harry's head was spinning though and the panic in him made it difficult to concentrate. His breathing was difficult and every breath fought for, with panic and with partial strangulation, his head began to feel light and he thought that he might pass out.

"It would be my pleasure," Severus sneered in Harry's ear, "I bet he's nice and tight too." A slender hand reached down, Severus had released his hold on Harry's throat a little, only to touch Harry where he really didn't want to be touched in front of several hundred Death Eaters, it made the intention very clear. The hand remained on him and all Harry could do was fight for breath, his body moving against Severus' unwelcome touch with every cough and wheeze. After a minute or two Harry's head cleared and he could breath again, he wondered momentarily why there had been a pause in the proceedings.

Severus, suddenly and without warning, let go of Harry completely and pushed him forward, Harry nearly stumbled.

"Undress and get on your knees." Severus barked the order, "Do it slowly, I want to watch you, WE want to watch you. Do exactly as I say, or they will all get their turn too, and don't try to run, you ARE completely surrounded."

Harry bent over as if in pain, cradling his arm against his chest, trying to give himself time for a second's thought, willing his head to clear properly and the panic to subside long enough to do the right thing. His arm was free and he was expected to handle his clothing. If he waited any longer he would be brutally assaulted in front of hundreds of Death Eaters and then executed, either that or Severus would have to break cover and they would both be killed, if Severus had any cover to break that was.

Maybe all the other Death Eaters would take their turn anyway. Whether the Bichun Kin was real or not it seemed like a suitable enough time to draw his sword. He was dead anyway. But wait, Harry suddenly thought, Sev letting go of his hand was the signal wasn't it? Yes, it always had been, Sev had held him and then let him go, he should be in the air already. The Death Eaters were arranged closely around them, just like they ought to be if he were to kill a substantial number with the initial curse.

Harry reached into the inside pocket of his coat and felt the serpents on his sword itching to be round his wrist. He held the hilt and pulled the sword clear of his clothing. It was at full size and the serpents eagerly coiled themselves round his forearm and wrist. Maybe they would all just laugh at him now, he didn't care, his sword still had a sharp blade and he would take a couple of them with him at the very least. The serpents still glowed crimson. Harry pulled the sword into full view, displaying it in front of him as he and Sev had practised so many times.

The look on the Dark Lord's face was worth everything. No, they weren't going to laugh at him, far from it. With a surge of adrenalin, Harry realised for sure, the Bichun Kin Bond was real, everything was real, everything Severus had told Harry and had taught him, all of it was real and true. For the first time ever, Harry saw the Dark Lord's confidence waver.

Harry took some deep breaths to focus his anger, to take a moments thought about his situation.

It had been necessary, Harry knew now, to get all the Death Eaters packed around them to make them easier to kill, the Dark Lord in the middle, an impossible fighting arrangement for any other warrior but ideal for using Kin Swords. It had been necessary to rile Harry's anger to a peak; he always was more ruthless and awesome when Severus had got him angry, Severus was always insulting him when they fought, it wasn't something Harry could have been warned about or it wouldn't have worked. As a spy, his Sev was just TOO bloody good.

Well, Harry was very angry now, amongst other things and everything that he had felt immediately prior, was converting to pure rage as he took hold of the sword. Harry thought that it was just as well that he couldn't harm his Kin with his sword, and that there was a Kin Bond between them that meant that he couldn't live without Severus. Otherwise he might have felt like chastising him for his cruel trick.

The Dark Lord and his victim stared at each other, eyes locked, Harry with his eyes burning with the power of the swords, the Dark Lord with something approaching horror. Harry felt his fear turn to anger as the power flowed through him, he felt every feeling Severus had riled in him turn to power and anger. The word 'kill' formed in his mind but not this time as an instruction from Alexian. Every part of his being began to scream 'kill'. The power surged, Harry felt that if he didn't release some of it in a strong 'Bas Aithghearr' soon his head would burst. They had all hurt his Sev by what they were, Harry thought, his Sev, a Death Eater for only a moment, but forever tainted by their evil shadow. None of them would see the day again. The Dark Lord still met Harry's eyes in a stare, neither of them was moving.

Harry could feel his Kin, his Sev came to stand beside him, sword now also drawn and glowing crimson. Harry didn't have to turn to know that he was there, he could feel him, feel the power of their Bond, feel Severus' intent and his, as yet, small movements, Harry's Kin eager for the action. The Dark Lord looked deeply disturbed.

"This one is for Alexian," Harry called to the Dark Lord, slashing a killing curse all around him. Many Death Eaters fell but the Dark Lord merely stumbled back mouthing the name Alexian in awe. Harry cut into them again before leaping into the air to escape any retaliation. Sev was fighting too, Harry could feel him, but he couldn't pay too much attention to that, he just had to stay in tune with him enough to coordinate their moves, he didn't risk looking, he didn't need it.

The battle was all a blur of fighting and curses and jumping to keep out of the way of attack from the Death Eaters. Harry couldn't stop for a second, it seemed to last forever. He kept on going, adrenalin keeping fatigue at bay. Cutting and stabbing when he got close enough, casting devastating spells when he had the space to spread them wide. Wave upon wave of Death Eaters came for him and he mowed them all down.

Harry's only other sign that Sev was there was the dazed expression they often already possessed as he cut into them, revealing that they had been pre-stunned for his attention. On and on he fought till suddenly the air went quiet, he landed on the ground ready to strike again and only the Dark Lord stood before him, a little worse for wear, but alive.

Harry wasn't about to waste time with idle chitchat.

"For the children," Harry called in a terrible voice, which to Harry, hardly seemed his own. He then ploughed forward with his sword, cutting at the same time as channelling the killing curse as strongly as he could, an exultant 'Bas Aithghearr'. Harry pulled the sword upwards, so that the blade cut through the flesh like a knife through butter, splitting the Dark Lord in two. He followed through with a wave of banishing to cast any remnants of being to the spirit realms where they could not return. The Dark Lord fell and Harry aimed his blows at the ground where the corpse lay, slashing over and over.

Suddenly Harry felt a sharp pain in his cheek and looked up from his prey, to see a Death Eater brandishing a dagger before him. He crumpled to the ground. Harry was dazed, he lay with the world spinning, breathless, he felt nauseous and he could feel the trickle of blood flowing down his face. He must get up, he told himself, but he couldn't seem to move. Pain coursed through Harry's body in throbs. Harry found that he had lost Severus; he couldn't feel his presence any longer through the Kin Bond and the sword. He must get up, he tried to convince himself, he had to do it, but his resolve was rushing away from him, as he battled against a body that wouldn't cooperate.

The trees surrounding the clearing danced about and the stars in the sky swirled as the pain faded from his body, but Harry still remained unable to move. The ground lurched beneath him, so that he felt like a bobbing boat lost on a rough sea, though he knew that he lay still. Tears came to Harry's eyes, he had lost his Sev; he wasn't there, he couldn't feel him any more. Severus was dead, Harry thought, as he ceased to fight and closed his eyes against the remaining world, with no care for it any longer. He had lost his Sev, his Kin, after everything, in a moment; he was gone.

TBC very soon, next posting in a few days time, as soon as the beta is done. Nice fluffy ending, promise :)

Ch26 - Here At The End Of All Things (a Lotr quote). Summary: Harry, in the grip of a curse, thinks that Severus is dead but somebody is rescuing him from the battlefield.


	26. Here At The End Of All Things

A/N : This is it, the epilogue. 'here at the end of all things' is a quote from LLOTR The Return of The King. 

Much thanks to Kristine Thorne for doing the beta on this chapter.

Much thanks to all those who have read and reviewed this story, thanks especially for the praise and constructive critisism. Hope you will all join me for the continuing adventures back at Hogwarts, more Snarry action I promise.

Chapter Summary: Harry lies on the ground consumed by grief and unable to fight. Who's going to kill the last Death Eater now? The epilogue where we find out who Alexian is. Not to mention the resolving of a few things including that evil cliffie.

Warning: ample quantity of fluffiness.

Chapter Twenty Six - Here At The End Of All Things 

Flashback - July of previous year

Severus stepped into Albus Dumbledore's office for the last time, having been summoned by the Headmaster at very short notice, even for him.

"While you are on your travels I need you to teach Harry and get him ready for battle," Albus began without formality. "You aren't to just go wandering around the countryside, the Dark Lord will have to be faced sooner or later."

"Because that went so well the last time, just him and I," Severus interrupted.

"We have little choice," The headmaster carried on unperturbed, he reached into the pocket in his robes and removed a small velvet pouch. He held it out to Severus.

Severus took the bag and opened it up, removing the small object that it contained.

"In addition to all we have discussed so far, I need you to take that with you," Albus instructed Severus.

Severus looked at the tiny Talisman with undisguised horror. "You can't give me this," He protested.

"I must."

"But I know how to open the portals, I can't carry the Talisman as well."

"In the past, I think even I have failed to trust you as much as I should. I know how to open the portals too, but they would expect me to have it, you must take it."

"Nobody trusts me," Severus said feeling defeated already, closing his hand around the talisman. "So I must take it."

"Yes," Albus answered. "The same is true with Harry."

"I can't think which is worse."

"Oh Severus," Albus said smiling. "Don't pretend to be angry about it. I know what you wanted."

"Don't imagine you know what I want," Severus snapped with anger, beyond any reverence he might feel for the old man. There had been a time in the past when he had wanted to ask Albus for Harry, but that time was passed.

"But I could see it in your eyes, even if you didn't say the words," Albus persisted.

"I would have brought him up as my own, don't hand him to me now, as if it can be some happy substitute for that time," Severus said bitterly remembering what he had just seen in Harry's Pensieve.

"You will thank me one day," Albus continued, unruffled by Severus' anger.

Severus turned to go, his cloak swirling around him to catch up with the sudden movement. He made for the door.

"Oh Severus," Albus began in a singsong voice, as Severus nearly reached the door. "Just one more thing."

Severus turned knowing that any other reaction was pointless, despite his anger, Severus was curious to know what Albus could spring on him next.

Albus took a box out from one of the secure drawers of the desk and placed it on the ink blotter. Albus waved his wand over the box and the lid sprang open.

Severus approached the desk and peered down into the box. He froze at what he saw, the contents of the box had once been his, and Severus had never expected to be allowed to see them again.

"You have got to be joking," Severus said staring down in horror at the open velvet lined case sitting on the desk, particularly the two paper knife like objects resting in the case.

"I am afraid not," Albus said grimly. "I never thought I would see the day, but this is what we have come to. Go find yourself a Kin, Severus."

"You have finally gone mad!" Severus responded, not caring much any more if he offended the headmaster.

"This may be our only hope, you know how strong you were."

"You forget that these swords operate on genuine regard, I cannot find a new Kin, I leave tonight to go undercover with Harry Potter in case you hadn't forgotten. Will you join with me Albus? Because I know of no other person who doesn't want me gone from this earth, Potter included I am sure."

"Such strange swords to be in Dark hands, all their power fuelled by love," Albus added in a dreamy contemplative way, purposely drawing Severus out in his argument.

"You mistake the nature of the power if you think it strange," Severus snapped. "I would have thought you would remember better than that."

"Harry," Albus said simply.

Severus could feel his face going a sickly ashen colour. "There are no words."

"I know how you feel towards the boy, let him become friends with you, that may be enough to make the Bond." Albus added.

"Let him? You have little idea about either of us. I have just spent seven years making him hate me, and I know he does." Severus argued back.

"If I am right about the swords, they want it, as much as I want it for you both. They have motive, you told me once."

"They do," Severus answered sadly. "I take it you remember what this means for him, what the consequences are, if this mad scheme succeeds and he lives? You do recall what will happen if I don't survive?"

"Yes," Albus replied simply. "You have a better plan Severus?"

"I will not do this to him," Severus tried to persist.

"You had better try to stay alive then," Albus said, remaining unaffected by Severus' glower.

Severus reached out to pick up one of the paper knives and Albus allowed him, his action admitting his defeat. Severus took it by the hilt and watched the sword enlarge to a full size battle sword, the dull colourless serpents slithered lazily around his wrist.

Emotion caught in Severus' throat with painful memories as he held the sword displayed before him, remembering his former Kin, the feeling of grief still raw within him despite the passage of time.

"Keep them both securely amongst your things, don't let Harry see them unless you've managed to heal your differences enough for him to take one," Albus instructed.

Severus picked up the other sword just below the hilt and put them both in his robe pocket, the swords obligingly shrinking in size as he did so.

Severus approached the door to go.

"Farewell and safe journey," Albus said as he watched Severus turn from him to leave.

"You ask to much," Severus said as he passed over the threshold and down the stairs.

"Yes," Albus agreed sadly, once he was sure that Severus would not hear it, "But I ask as much of myself."

the present – aftermath of battle

Strong hands were hooked underneath Harry's arms and he was being hauled to his feet. He felt dizzy and his legs didn't seem to want to support him. He had no idea how long it had been since he had fallen to the ground. His arm was put around firm shoulders and he tried to hold on, not thinking of whom it could be, he didn't care, he had said that he would go too and he meant it. 'Blissful Death', as soon as he could, no problem, he didn't care, the Dark Lord was gone, and he didn't care. The tears streamed down Harry's face and he lurched to the side and onto his knees to wretch into the grass. Harry collapsed onto the ground as soon as he was empty, shaking and shivering with cold.

The world still spun and Harry felt as if he would vomit again, if only there was anything left to bring up. He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes in an attempt to calm the world before him. He thought that he should probably turn onto his side, so that he wouldn't choke but then decided against it, choking would save him having to take the 'Blissful Death' later. Harry was pulled up again and suddenly his feet left the ground. Whoever it was had lifted him up and he was being carried, to where he didn't know and didn't care, they could have him now.

"Will?" Harry asked weakly, finding that he could speak again, not knowing why he thought it might be him, all evidence pointed to the enemy.

"How the hell do I find two bloody rucksacks in the dark when they are covered by a bloody invisibility cloak?" Harry heard what he thought was a familiar voice complaining with irritation not far from his ear.

"Sev? Is that you?" Harry whispered hardly daring to believe it, thinking that he must be dreaming or hallucinating.

"I suppose it must be, since I refuse to answer such a silly question," Severus answered gruffly. "Although I just did, see what you have brought me to, Harry bloody Snape."

"Is he dead?" Harry asked.

"I presume you mean the Dark Lord. I would say so. Another silly question." Severus answered with a grim smile, remembering the pile of indistinguishable blood and guts Harry had been relentlessly hacking away at when the last Death Eater struck. Harry had really lost it at the end, but who could blame him.

"But I couldn't feel you, you were gone," Harry said.

"You let go of your sword, that's all," Severus explained, softening his tone at the sound of Harry's distressed voice.

"Where is it? How could I?" Harry asked panicking, "I thought you were dead."

"You thought I was dead! You were the one lying on the ground, face as pale as snow and your clothes soaked in blood, silly boy." Severus scolded, succeeding very well in hiding the panic that had gripped him again as he remembered the sight.

Severus had turned to see Harry thrashing at the ground with his sword and the Death Eater easily approaching him. The Death Eater had struck and Harry had crumpled to the ground, his face cleared of all expression. Severus would never now be able to clear the memory of it from his mind. The rage for vengeance had been the only thing that had carried Severus through the fight with the last Death Eater, conventionally conducted, because he had lost the bulk of the Kin power when Harry let go of his sword, he hadn't had time to notice that the colour had not drained from the serpents.

"Oh Sev, I am sorry, I couldn't move." Harry answered, now realising what it must have looked like for him.

"I know." Severus said softly again, knowing that it wasn't a good time to sound like he was berating Harry, even if it was just to cover his fear. Severus could not survive losing another Kin and he had come too close to it that night.

"Where's my sword?" Harry asked.

"I've got it," Severus reassured. "Can you hold still while I find our things? You're not as light as you used to be."

"What happened? I feel awful," Harry asked.

"The last Death Eater managed to strike you with a disabling curse, while you were finishing off the Dark Lord, it was powerful enough to make you let go of the sword, there aren't that many wizards accomplished enough to do that. I made sure that he will not be able to do it again. It was that curse and the exhaustion from the battle that made you feel ill and confused, you would feel it the second you let go of the sword."

"Who was he?"

"I don't know, I don't know him, he may be foreign."

"Hey, you got to kill one," Harry said leaning into his Kin, feeling pleased for him and overwhelmingly relieved. "You saved my life again, he would have finished it, if you'd only been a second later."

"I did, again, I killed him for you," Severus said proudly and possessively.

Harry put a hand to his face, feeling the sticky, half dry blood. "This cut had better not leave a scar," Harry grumbled playfully, he didn't really care about it, they were both alive and they had their whole lives ahead of them.

Severus continued to edge round the clearing checking for their rucksacks with his foot, trying not to trip over them. Harry assumed Severus must have still been wearing his sword somehow because he was carrying him and Harry was sure it would have been too much for him otherwise.

Eventually Severus found an invisible mound and he laid Harry gently down beside it and peeled the invisibility cloak off.

"Lay still for a while love," Severus spoke softly.

Severus lifted Harry up so that he was leaning back against his own rucksack, then Severus pulled everything out of the other one, trying to reach the potion case.

Severus applied a salve to the cut in Harry's cheek, it was looking a lot messier than the wound size seemed to warrant, Severus was glad to see that it was not serious. He taped a piece of dressing over the wound to keep it clean using his muggle supplies. The cleaning charm that was still in operation for them both took care of the rest of the mess. Soon neither of them had a single trace of blood spoiling their clothes.

Harry lay back obediently, allowing the curse to wear off, letting Severus do his work and feeling infinitely glad that Severus was still with him. It didn't feel like it was all over, not yet, he had only just started to wonder what they were going to do with all the dead bodies that lay around them. Harry closed his eyes as Severus placed a hand to his face and he could feel the warm healing touch.

As the warmth receded and Harry could only feel the normal touch of Severus' hand, he brought his own hand up to cup around Severus'. Harry brought Severus' hand to his lips and kissed the palm gently, still lying back with his eyes closed. arryHarry was pleasantly surprised, when Severus suddenly scooped him up into a tight embrace.

Severus crushed Harry against his chest, his head pressing down on Harry's, his hand entwined in his hair.

"I am so sorry," Severus said sounding choked with emotion, "For everything I did, I could never hurt you and I don't want to pretend or come close, ever again. I won't ever forget turning round and finding you falling to the ground, one minute you were grasping your victory, all too suddenly you seemed to have lost it."

"Oh, its all right, it's all a bit of a blur now anyway," Harry said reassuringly to Severus, he didn't really know what Severus was talking about, he presumed he meant the bit where he had made him angry. It had all passed so quickly and was now little more than a daze, first there had been fear, and then exhilaration, then wretchedness, but everything was all right now. Maybe it was the curse that was making his recent memories feel fuzzy and vague, Harry thought.

Severus was grasping Harry with such desperation that he couldn't do anything else but believe in his Kin, and try to keep breathing. Harry wondered what he had forgotten about deep in the heat of battle that could have caused this reaction in Severus, he was sure it would all come back to him soon.

"Hey Sev, leave some of me for the Dark Lord." Harry joked as he often had, before realising the whole new slant on the joke that made it even more amusing, "Oops, no point, he's dead." Harry added.

Severus wasn't in a mood to think anything was funny though; he continued to hold Harry but relaxed a little. Severus stroked Harry's back with his hand and Harry was very content to let him do so. Harry's nausea had gone and he could see clearly as he lay in Severus' arms. Severus looked exhausted and Harry assumed that he didn't look much better himself.

"Take me home," Harry whispered.

"Harry…" Severus began mournfully.

"Don't give me that," Harry warned with limitless affection. "You know exactly what I mean."

"There probably isn't a school there any more," Severus commented not wanting Harry to believe in impossible dreams.

"True, though I didn't see it, the castle might well be little more than a pile of rubble. But I don't care, I want to go there."

"We can go there if you really want to," Severus offered. "But you have to be able to accept what you find."

"Don't think anything could shock me now," Harry said smiling.

"Hmm, yes," Severus responded feeling awkward, checking Harry for any reaction other than relief that it was over. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded his head, "Yes, I'm sure. You look like you could do with a nice warm bed, if we can find one, and even if the castle has been destroyed, we should be able to find somewhere new to pitch our tent."

Severus pulled Harry closer to him again and smiled grimly, "This is true, there always was a nice view."

"In any case," Harry added, "Where else are we going to go?"

Severus nodded, "All right." He said. "I'll make up a portkey, if I can remember how, we might be able to get back before morning."

"Even if there were just one of the cabins left in the grounds, that would do," Harry suggested.

Severus smiled down at Harry. "If all else fails, Will can have us back."

"Yes, I like Will," Harry replied closing his eyes. "Sev?"

"Yes?"

"What are we going to do with the bodies?" Harry asked.

"Don't worry about that, just rest for a while," Severus answered. "I'll collect as many of the wands as I can once I've finished the portkey, then I'll get rid of them. We can use our wands now, it won't be a problem."

"Hmm, no details please."

"Squeamish Harry?"

Harry smiled in admission of how preposterous it was. "Shut up."

Severus merely smiled to himself and went back to his work.

"Do you have Lucius' wand still?" Harry asked.

"No, I gave it back to one of the Death Eaters, who then escaped with it, I always was kind like that." Severus deadpanned.

"Very funny, keep it separate from the others," Harry continued.

"Why, do you want it to go with the cloak?" Severus teased, starting to feel in himself that it was truly over.

"No." Harry said sighing. "Didn't he seem a little strange to you?"

Severus sobered his attitude, realising that Harry actually wanted to consult with him on something serious. "He looked shocked." Severus responded.

"He didn't go for his wand, he hardly said a word." Harry continued.

"He came, expecting to find Harry Potter and got Severus Snape back from the dead and you swooping across the field like a vulture seeking its prey. Then there were the swords, he knew enough about them to be very afraid."

"And yet it was so obviously a trap, quite pathetic really, not one of my better ideas. Why would the Dark Lord send his most loyal follower alone, when I was blatantly calling them?" Harry analysed.

"Maybe Lucius was so arrogant in his power that he still thought he could take you on his own, that you were still alone and unprotected. He had to prove himself to the Dark Lord after all his recent failure," Severus offered.

"I want you to analyse that wand when we get back," Harry insisted.

Severus took out Lucius's wand and cast a simple charm with it. "This is his." Severus announced. "Although Harry, there's nothing wrong with having a hefty dose of paranoia," He added smiling at his Kin.

"Then you'll give it a thorough check tomorrow?"

"I might check them all, it might be as well to know exactly which Death Eaters we managed to kill and what they had been doing recently."

Severus chose an object from his rucksack to use as the portkey and got to work, Harry watching him with pride, as he didn't hesitate at any part, remembering it all.

A while later the object sat on the ground between them, ready to go, the bodies had all been cleared away and Severus sat feeling regretful about the way the evening had progressed. Severus was very glad that Harry didn't remember much about it, he had only set out to frighten his Kin enough to make him fight to his true potential. Things had quickly got out of hand, however, he hadn't realised that the Dark Lord had known so much.

The information certainly couldn't have come from Valarius, if either Severus or his former Kin had been that sure about what had happened and who was responsible, Severus thought, James Potter would have been gutted like a fish, long before he had had a chance to father a child. It had to be Lucius again, exaggerating and lying just as well as the Dark Lord did, nobody else had known, not even Albus. Apart from those who were involved that long ago night at least, but they certainly wouldn't be talking.

James Potter had been guilty of many things that night, he had been the ringleader of the group, but Severus had been too drugged to tell one man from another, by the time the real evil began. Potter and his friends might well have been among those who ran off as things got more serious, there was no way of knowing.

Well Severus had vowed to do whatever it took to help them succeed in their mission and he had certainly given his all, Severus thought grimly. He could only hope that Harry would continue to understand that too.

Severus suddenly remembered the start of the battle, 'this one is for Alexian', Severus was sure that Harry had said those words, yet why?

Harry reached out a hand to his Kin. "Are you all right Sev?" He asked with concern at Severus' seemingly distant expression.

"I was just wondering who Alexian was," Severus replied looking up at Harry. "You said that your first strike was for him."

Harry didn't really remember mentioning it, but he must have done. Sev seemed a little hurt and jealous. An explanation was long overdue. "He's been in my head, helping me out. He showed me how to find the Lodge."

"You had a voice in your head telling you to do things and you didn't tell me all about it?" Severus said sounding a bit annoyed.

"You didn't seem to believe in such things," Harry responded. "And I did tell you sort of, we agreed not to say who. And he only ever told me to avenge his death, he asked me to kill the Dark Lord and I was going to do that anyway, I didn't see the harm."

Severus smiled grimly. "No, no harm," He answered. "My voice was Albus. He came to me after you had the vision where you saw Polyjuice me with the Dark Lord. I didn't believe it before then."

"Alexian seemed to be able to give me advice regarding my relationship with you, do you know him?" Harry asked.

"That was why I was asking about him," Severus replied looking sadly at Harry. "Alexian was my brother's second name."

"But it can't be the same man, Alexian said that the Dark Lord killed him because he was too powerful."

"He didn't like to be called Valarius because it sounds too much like the potion ingredient 'Valerian', which is commonly used in sleeping potions, he got teased mercilessly at school. 'Sleepy Snape' they called him; there are just too many 's' words in the world. Anyway, I digress. When he went to the Dark Lord as a Death Eater he had everybody call him Alexian. That's how I chose your name for our mission. Nobody outside of that circle called him by that name. As for his death, it would be no big surprise, I suppose, if the Dark Lord lied and I was fool enough to believe it, though if I recall it was Lucius who gave me the news."

"So they both had a hand in killing your brother and told you it was the Order, because they knew you would attempt to avenge the death."

"Thus breaking the power we held together and striking against the enemy in one go too," Severus said his head now in his hands. "I may have been a powerful Kin, but I was such a fool."

"But it was Lucius who told you, he would have been a friend at that time, it's only right that you would have trusted him."

Severus snorted with grim amusement. "Allegedly a friend yes. Though he had his sights on becoming my brother's Kin before Valarius chose me instead. Perhaps he was not so gracious in his disappointment, as we always thought."

"And I killed him for you, I told you there was something. I killed them both for you," Harry said.

Severus reached an arm round Harry and hugged him. "Yes, you did."

"Alexian knew about Sgoil Dhubh, he used the name there too." Harry told Severus, wanting to tell him all about it now that he had begun. "That was how we ended up there, he must have been the one who set the ward."

"So that was where he went to," Severus replied his face showing the remembering of fond memories.

"Explain please."

"My brother ran away from school before the end of term one year. Nobody could find him and he just came back again one day. That was why nobody could find him it would seem, he must have been at Sgoil Dhubh."

"He and Will were friends once," Harry added. "I saw a photo of them together. He didn't look like you did he?"

"No, not really," Severus said reaching out a hand to Harry's hair, twisting a few strands in his fingers. "You look very like him, but I am glad you are not." Severus added taking Harry's chin in the palm of his hand and leaning in for a kiss.

"Shall we go before it gets any later," Harry suggested. "I would like to get some sleep before daylight."

"Yes, I've made this thing, we had better use it," Severus said referring to the portkey, which lay in front of them both.

"It will be all right, whatever happens." Harry reassured.

Severus wasn't convinced and he pointed out the alternative scenario. "We must also consider what you are going to do if the castle hasn't been destroyed. I suppose it's also the case that we might meet people we knew from before, some of your friends."

Harry noticed that Severus seemed to be more worried about finding the castle intact and he could only share the worry. They were so changed and he knew that Severus had not been wrong when he had said that they all hated him.

"It could be Death Eater headquarters too," Harry pointed out. "Won't know till we get there."

Harry had only been joking but Severus paled at the possibility of it being true, he really didn't feel up to another war just yet. "Just as well we will be making our appearance just outside the front door. We'll check out the situation before we try to enter."

"Come on, let's go," Harry began, "And remember, whatever happens, whatever we find, however anybody else treats you. Remember, I will always love you." Harry reached out to stroke Severus' hair and found himself being pulled back into another crushing embrace.

Will stood on Culloden Muir as the sun rose in the East, it was still quite dark and the horizon was tinted with the redness of sunrise with only a few wispy clouds in the sky. It was a bitterly cold morning for April and he hugged his coat around himself tightly against the wind. In the early hours of the morning, one farm vehicle after another had pulled out in front of his Land Rover, impeding his progress; travelling with the painful lack of speed only a tractor was capable of. It was almost as if something hadn't wanted him to make it in time.

He must be going completely mad, Will thought, as he searched the ground, looking for he knew not what. Searching for some clue that several hundred people had been killed only the night before, all achieved by his two friends and housekeepers, recently departed from the Lodge. There was nothing there, just the familiar rough grass. It was all so ridiculous, all this just to prove that the messages he had received when he had read the two men, wasn't just his so called talent going haywire in his old age. What had he been expecting to find? Will thought, as he turned for the road where his Land Rover was parked up on the verge, dead bodies, blood?

Suddenly Will was forced to turn back as something caught his eye. A burgundy bandana, still tied as if it had just been pulled off the head that it had adorned, it blew across the field in the wind. The wind wasn't too strong and Will managed to catch it. It could be anybody's, Will tried to rationalise, but how many people in Scotland wore such a thing outside of the city, along with the readings, it could not be a coincidence.

Will returned to the Land Rover, the bandana still clutched in his hand. Hundreds dead on the battlefield of Culloden in April, how could it be true? Yet, how could it not be true, Alex had been at Culloden; Will had the proof of that, why would that be correct and not the rest. Will felt like he had entered another world and it was empty of everything that he thought he knew. When he got home, Will decided, he was going to lock himself in his bedroom and go to bed with a large bottle of single malt and he wasn't coming out for a very long while.

The End

The first chapter of the sequel is now uploaded 'Tango At The End Of Winter' story ID is 1699321 or visit my author's page and link from there. :)

A/N

There ya go, didn't kill Sev AND he got to save Harry's life again, nice fluffy ending, all is right with the world.

And they all lived happily ever after? Err not quite, just wait till Hermione finds out what they've been up to in that tent!

Although Harry will always have the pivotal prophecy role I had to have Sev being the only thing between life and death for Harry, hence the cliffie, I wanted Harry to give up and be saved when all hope was lost. No scary crap like this in the sequel, promise.

The first chapter to the sequel will be uploaded next week. Title: Tango At The End Of Winter. Set author alert to get the URL in an email as soon as it is uploaded. I have the enhanced features so you can all set that, if you're signed in (I think that's how it works). In any case it will be showing up in my author's profile of course.


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